Against My Original Standards, I Fall In Love With The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary Trading Cards!

The Good: Awesome sketches, Very cool bonus cards, Neat common cards, Quality of cards
The Bad: Collectibility, One less impressive bonus card set, A few obscure autograph signers
The Basics: The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary may be a bear to collect, but the end result is a pretty fabulous trading card set!


It seems like the last ten years have just flown by for me. Ten years ago, the Star Trek trading card market underwent a fundamental shift from which it could never turn back: the trading card hobby became the trading card industry. I adequately kvetched about that when I reviewed the set that destroyed collecting once and for all with the Star Trek 40th Anniversary Series 2 trading card set (reviewed here!). Since then, the bar has been raised several times for Star Trek trading card collectors and when there has been even a shift toward the way card sets used to be, the set released has not performed nearly as well in the marketplace. Go figure; I guess most collectors actually want the impossible find!

So, last year, when Rittenhouse Archives produced their Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading card set as a premium trading card release, I vowed not to simply complain about how uncollectible the cards were. I found my happy medium last month when I reviewed the Rogue One: Mission Briefing trading cards (reviewed here!) and I decided to review the product with dual ratings; the substance of the set and separately with "collectibility" factored in. It is with that new sense of standards that I sat down to review the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading card set.

And WOW! The substance of the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary set is amazing. For the money, the set is a bit small (a true master set only has 359 cards), but the content is absolutely incredible!

Basics/Set Composition

The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary set was a set of trading cards produced by Rittenhouse Archives to celebrate the 50th Anniversary of the Original Series, instead of doing season by season celebrations of the 50th Anniversary. Boxes of the TOS 50th Anniversary cards contained only twelve packs with five cards per pack. One does not get a lot per box and the only guarantees are one common set and two autographs per box. One of the decent aspects of the Rittenhouse guarantee for this product is that one is guaranteed one of each of the two different autograph types on a box. Unfortunately for those trying to collect the set, there is not a single chase set that can be completed with even a single case of these cards!

The common set traverses the entire 80-episodes of Star Trek. The chase cards are focused largely on "The Cage" and "Mirror, Mirror" with generic crew cards and production artwork cards thrown in. The set has a beautiful tribute set to the late Leonard Nimoy (still nothing for Grace Lee Whitney, who also died since the last Original Series set!), a diverse array of autograph cards and sketch cards that are actually very dud-free. The element that makes the set virtually impossible to complete, though, are the 3 cut signature cards that made the cases a sell-out at the manufacturer's level and left a few very determined collectors hunting them down!

The TOS 50th Anniversary set consists of 359 cards. The 359 card set consists of 80 common cards and two hundred seventy-nine chase cards, eleven of which cannot be found in the packs or boxes.

Common Cards

The 80 card common set of TOS 50th Anniversary cards are a fairly cool design (though I still have not figured out how the form fits into the theme of the set/show). The common cards are die-cut so they have indents in the centers of the sides, top, and bottom. The corners are not squared; they have beveled edges. As a result, each card is a 14-sided (?,!) trading card with a text block at the top and one at the bottom that makes it vaguely resemble the viewscreen on the Enterprise bridge. Each card has gold foil borders around each of the four pictures on the front and a gold foil center that features the Star Trek 50th Anniversary symbol.

The common card set for the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary is another set that makes an episode by episode journey through all of the episodes of the original Star Trek. The twist on the familiar subject - other than the physical form of the cards - is that the backs are written as if they were Spock's logs about the plot of the episode. Spock makes perfect sense as the "writer" of the mission logs as he is the only character to appear in each episode and it avoids narrative hassles like "which version of Captain Kirk made the log for 'The Enemy Within' or 'Turnabout Intruder?'"

The writing on the cards is fun and done at a consistently high level of quality. The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary are written to sufficiently capture Spock's sense of humor and observations on humanity, while adequately telling the story of each episode of Star Trek.

The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary cards feature bright, beautifully-crisp images on each card. The four pictures on the front of each card tend to be different from shots used in prior sets, which is a nice thing. The photogaphy on the front of the cards also finds the right balance of character images without neglecting the special effect shots. The result is a structurally-weird looking common set that actually serves as a fitting tribute to the 50th Anniversary of Star Trek!

Chase Cards

The TOS 50th Anniversary set has two hundred seventy-nine chase cards, of which two hundred sixty-eight are available in the right packs! Some of those cards, though, are statistically improbable for a collector to pull from the packs or boxes. Ironically, there are some sketch card artists whose works are more rare than the Jill Ireland cut signature card that was pack-inserted!

The first level of chase sets are two expansion sets that explore "The Cage" and "Mirror, Mirror." Cards in each of these sets are found only two per box, which means that they take three cases to assemble each set (assuming one does not pull duplicates!). These two chase sets are substantive and incredible. The "Mirror, Mirror" cards feature foilboard borders that are shiny and distinctive. The "The Cage" bonus cards have neat purple borders and a thin gold border around the image on the card, which makes it look like one is using one of the Talosian's viewscreens to look in on the episode! These chase sets are reminiscent of the James Bond retro "throwback" sets that Rittenhouse Archives has produced for some of the older James Bond films. The result is essentially a flashy additional "common" set for two of the best episodes of Star Trek and it's hard not to gush over just how pretty the "The Cage" cards actually are!

Interestingly, Rittenhouse Archives continues to state the odds of its chase cards in terms of packs. I find this interesting because, especially in the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading cards, the odds for most of the bonus cards are more reasonably stated in terms of boxes or even cases! The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary two chase sets where their components are found one in every four boxes and three that have only a single card from the set in a case!

The Bridge Crew Hero cards are landscape-oriented acetate trading cards featuring the seven core Star Trek characters, plus Nurse Chapel and Yeoman Rand. The Bridge Crew Hero cards look good, but I found myself split on them. The rarity of the cards is high, the content is hardly audacious and as an avid convention-goer, the Bridge Crew Hero cards are another set that is unfortunate in its timing. This is yet another set that fans cannot use to get autographed by the stars of Star Trek. For sure, the four cast members featured who are still alive and represented in this set could make thes cards look amazing by signing them in gold, but it's a set one could never possibly get completely signed and that's sad. While that is not an inherent problem with the Star Trek cards themselves, whenever Rittenhouse Archives makes a new-looking, cool card like this, it is hard not to look at them and consider the alternative use for them! That said, the acetate cards are clean and crisp and look very good.

Also one in every four boxes is one of the nine U.S.S. Enterprise Concept Art cards. Rittenhouse Archives managed to get the original production artwork that pitched various looks (and feels!) of the U.S.S. Enterprise before the first shooting model was ever made. These cards might be the low point of the set; they are gold-bordered and brown and do not look overly distinctive (the back of each card is, essentially, a visual checklist of the set). Sadly, the designer of the U.S.S. Enterprise is dead, which prevented Rittenhouse Archives from using behind-the-scenes interviews on why each of the concept sketches for the Enterprise was rejected. For an unfortunately unremarkable chase set, the rarity of these cards is vastly disproportionate to their value.

One per case is a "Mirror, Mirror" card. Reminiscent of the mirrorboard cards made popular in the Star Trek Season 2 trading card set (reviewed here!), each of the cards in this subset feature big pictures of the main cast, Marlena, and the Enterprise. On one side of each card is an image of the regular universe version of the character, the obverse has the Mirror Universe version. These high-quality cards are a great alternative to the Season 2 Mirror, Mirror set at a more affordable price point!

Also one per case is one of the nine Leonard Nimoy Tribute cards. Since Rittenhouse Archives started producing trading cards, they have made Tribute cards to the now-deceased stars of Star Trek: DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, and Majel Barret. The Leonard Nimoy Tribute cards are the first ones in the set that have been included in the packs (previously, they were casetoppers and there were only 3!). The standard trading card-sized Tribute cards are individually hand-numbered on the front out of 125 and feature bright, distinct images of Leonard Nimoy in Star Trek (no shots from Star Trek: The Next Generation, the Star Trek films or his Spock Prime role from the new film universe). The tribute to Nimoy is a fitting one and this is one of the nicest all-Spock sets ever assembled!

Like most modern Star Trek sets, the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading cards feature autograph cards. Found one per box is a Silver Series autograph card and one "Black" autograph. The "Black" autographs are the same format as the Bridge Crew autographs from the Star Trek Portfolio Prints trading cards (reviewed here!). The "Black" autographs feature a much wider range of characters than the initial bridge crew run - performers like Sany Gimple, Michael Dante, and the grail Teri Garr! The Silver Series autographs are an incredibly popular, landscape-oriented autograph card with a single characrter image and the autograph - signed in silver ink - over a black starfield. The Silver Series Autographs feature the likes of William Shatner, Nichelle Nichols, George Takei, and Walter Koenig before going into the significant (and a few unfortunately indistinct) guest stars. The set has a Joan Collins autograph card and autographs from the now-deceased Grace Lee Whitney and Yvonne Craig. Regardless of the occasionally mundane subjects on the cards, all of the Silver Series autographs look incredible! Rittenhouse Archives assembled an impressive list of signers for the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading card set!

The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading cards also featured sketch cards found only one per case. The sketch cards in the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary were beautiful and there is something to the overall value of the set when one of the most common sketches comes from the acclaimed artists Mick and Matt Glebe! The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary features sketch cards from 42 different artists, with only 8 of them being done by artists who produced less than 25 sketches for the set. I have yet to see a lousy sketch from this set, with truly amazing works from Sean Pence, Kirsten Allen, Helga Wojik, and Melike Acar! Rittenhouse Archives advertised the set as featuring the best-yet sketch cards and they absolutely delivered!

Finally, found about one in every eighteen CASES was one of three Star Trek cut signature autograph cards. Rittenhouse Archives managed to get their hands on authenticated autographs from the long-deceased Jeffrey Hunter, Susan Oliver and Jill Ireland. Ireland's material is the most plentiful, while Hunter's cut signature autograph cards are now the rarest Rittenhouse has produced for a Star Trek set. The cut signature cards for the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary might be virtually impossible to find, but they look amazing!

Non-Box/Pack Cards

There are eleven cards that cannot be found no matter how many packs one opens. These include the regular P1 promotional card, which is easily available in the secondary market, as well as the P2 promotional card which was exclusive to the Rittenhouse-produced binder. The two promotional cards are distinctive from the other cards by being heavily-embossed, gold foil cards that advertise the Star Trek 50th Anniversary!

One per case, there is an alternate version of the common card #40. The 40a Casetopper card is a "Mirror, Mirror" card that features different images and alternate text from the common card. The 40a is written as it if were from the perspective of the Mirror Universe Spock and they look cool. Having had casetoppers that were once autograph, autographed-costume, sketch or dual-autograph cards, it is hard to get truly psyched about an "alternate common" card as the Casetopper.

For every six cases purchased, Rittenhouse Archives gave dealers a Silver Series Leonard Nimoy autograph card. If the casetopper is lackluster, the six-case incentive is absolutely incredible! Featuring artwork of Nimoy as the Mirror Universe Spock, the 6-case incentive autograph from the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary matches the quality of the other silver series autographs and has much higher inherent value to it!

For every nine cases purchased, dealers were granted a Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary William Shatner/Leonard Nimoy Dual Autograph card! The dual autograph for this set is similar to the Shatner/Nimoy Dual Autograph from the Star Trek Portfolio Prints trading card set. Where that incentive card featured Kirk and Spock in their Mirror Universe garb (and, in Spock's case, facial hair), the Dual Autograph for the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary features a traditional promotional photo of the Captain and First Officer. Oddly, its value has been depressed since the cards were released in the secondary market, but this card is poised to explode in value given the more universal appeal of the traditional appearance of Kirk and Spock.

Finally, there are the Archive Box exclusive cards. Rittenhouse Archives expanded the SkyBox "Mirror, Mirror" trading card set with an Archive Box exclusive M8 card of Marlena Moreau! Because Charendoff designed the original "Mirror, Mirror" card back in 1998, the new card exactly matches the style and quality of the prior release!

Rittenhouse Archives also included a set of printing plates in each Archive Box and it is hard not to give the company a huge amount of credit for the way they released them. Some trading card companies release the printing plates in the packs and collectors have to desperately attempt to cobble together one of four possible printing plate sets to achieve a true master set. Rittenhouse Archives takes a different approach and it is far more humane to collectors! The Archive Box includes one set of all four printing plates used to make a single common card (and the casetopper!), so collectors get a set of printing plates as opposed to trying to reconstruct a whole set of cards in printing plate form.

For the serious collectors, there is a Rittenhouse Rewards card as well, the E10 expansion card that makes the 9-card Enterprise Concept Art card set into a 10-card set. Available only through redeeming points from wrappers, the E10 features the familiar version of the U.S.S. Enterprise, which is a cool way to cap off the lackluster subset.

Overall

The Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading cards are well-organized, look amazing and make a potentially stale subject feel remarkably fresh again. While the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading card set is a fairly small trading card set for the price one would pay attempting to assemble it, it is a true celebration of the 50th Anniversary of Star Trek. Those who are not obsessed with creating a master set will still find ample material to gleefully collect in the Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary trading card set!

This set culls images from Star Trek, which is reviewed here!

These cards are available in my online store! Please check out my growing Star Trek The Original Series 50th Anniversary Trading Card Inventory!

For other original Star Trek trading card sets reviewed by me, please check out:
Star Trek - Season 1 Episode Collection trading cards
Star Trek - Season 3 Episode Collection trading cards
Star Trek In Motion
35th Anniversary HoloFEX Holofoil cards
Legends Of Captain James T. Kirk
The Art And Images Of Star Trek
Legends Of Spock
"Quotable" Star Trek
Legends Of Dr. Leonard McCoy
Legends Of Scotty, Sulu And Uhura
Legends Of Chekov, Chapel And Rand
Star Trek 40th Anniversary Season 2
Star Trek (2009 movie) cards
Star Trek Heroes & Villains

8.5/10 (substance/content)
2/10 (factoring collectibility)

For other card reviews, please visit my Card Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2017 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Awesome And Excessive, Rogue One Mission Briefing Trading Cards Split My Standards!

The Good: Good overview of the time period in the Star Wars universe, Some cool autograph signers, Cool Rogue One teases
The Bad: Ridiculous numbers of parallel cards, Insane rarities on a wide variety of cards, A weird card choices, Sticker autograph card style.
The Basics: Leading up to the cinematic release of Rogue One, Topps produced the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards which are interesting-enough, but absolutely impossible to collect.


Every now and then, I encounter a product that forces me to re-evaluate how I rate various products. Sometimes, there is a film where I find myself literally caught between a 2/10 and an 8/10, usually when something that is nauseatingly horrific, but I have to acknowledge that it is done well. With trading cards, I find myself occasionally trapped because "collectibility" is one of the standards by which I rate a trading card set. In recent times, many trading card sets have become prohibitive to even attempt to collect the set. Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards from Topps are one such set. Given that there are at least 184 unique - 1/1 cards - not counting the printing plates (!) the Rogue One Mission Briefing are impossible to collect. Literally, the moment any two collectors actually committed to trying to collect this set, it became absolutely impossible to make a true, complete master set of the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards.

That said, when I started opening packs, boxes and cases of Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards, I found there was actually quite a bit to like about the card set. Outside the weird volume of hard-to-assemble parallel sets, the content in the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading card set is actually pretty cool. The Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards blend key Star Wars prequel events with animated series moments with the highlights - usually concerned with the first and second Death Stars - of the original Star Wars Trilogy . . . with teases of Rogue One.

Basics/Set Composition

Topps has begun to be an active part of building hype for the new Star Wars movies by creating transitional trading card sets that connect the new works to the classic Star Wars films. Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards are one such set and it does its best to capitalize on the connections between classic Star Wars works and Rogue One.

The Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards are dominated by a retro cardboard cardstock for the bulk of the cards. Chase cards like the sticker cards, autograph cards, foil cards and printing plates have a different sheen and feel to their fronts, but most of the trading cards in the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards have a retro cardboard look and feel, which goes back to the original Topps Star Wars trading card releases from the late 1970s. While all of the common cards (and most of the chase) are formatted in one orientation (landscape), the text on the back of the cards is (unfortunately) oriented the same way as the text on the front. As a result, when one flips a page in the binder, they must rotate the binder around in order to read the backs. This is not very friendly to those who want to sit and read the cards.

The Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards could be compiled to make a single, true master set of 1583 trading cards. Most of the cards in the true master set would be chase parallel cards and the set is prohibitive to collect because of some of the odds of ever finding the rarest cards, which were truly unique 1/1 individually numbered parallel cards. Boxes of the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards contain only twenty-four packs of eight cards each. Topps, Inc. only guaranteed two “hits” per box. In my experience, that meant that each box had a patch card and then an autograph, sketch or printing plate card; there were three boxes in my case that had parallel cards that were part of the individually-numbered sets.

Common Cards

The Rogue One Mission Briefing common set is an interesting concept that loses a little bit of focus near its end. The 110 card set focuses in a general way on the elements that went into the creation and destruction of the Death Star. The first 68 of 110 cards transition from the Star Wars prequel films to events in A New Hope that focus on the Death Star. Cards 69 through 78 do a fast gloss-over of The Empire Strikes Back and the destruction of the second Death Star in Return Of The Jedi before going into character cards. The common set ends with ten cards focusing on events and characters from Rogue One.

The common card set is generally well-written, though some of the cards are weird stretches that seem designed entirely to sell the rest of the set. Chief among these are cards in the character portion of the common set like card 90 - John D. Branon (Red Four). Topps managed to track down the random actor who appeared for a few frames in A New Hope who played the Red Four X-Wing pilot. The actor is Jack Klaff, who actually was credited in A New Hope, which was his first film, who had perhaps thirty seconds of screentime (including where he was in the background). Card 90 fleshes out the briefly-seen character with a full backstory, arguably to build enthusiasm for an autograph card where one's first instinct upon seeing it would be to wonder "Who is this?!" The nine-card mural, with a final card showing what the mural is supposed to look like assembled, help infuse the Rogue One Mission Briefing common card set with actual material from Rogue One.

As for the images, the Rogue One Mission Briefing, most of the shots are from the films and the animated television shows, no promotional shots. Interestingly, astute fans of the Star Wars films will recognize the ten shots from the final cards in the common set all from the trailer from Rogue One. These are hardly ambitious images from Rogue One, but they are the shots that Topps had in advance of the film's release.

Chase Cards

The Rogue One Mission Briefing cards are loaded with bonus cards. The bonus cards range from various levels of parallel cards to basic chase cards like Death Star, Heroes, Villains, and Rogue One character cards, as well as higher level chase cards like patch, autograph, and printing plate cards. There are 1473 chase cards in the Rogue One Mission Briefing set, with only ten that are not found in the packs and boxes of the cards.

Most packs of Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards contain two parallel cards, though there are six different parallel sets. The six parallel sets replicate the common card set with different border colors. The common set has a retro look to it, with a red border around the big image of the card's subject. The parallel cards replace the red border with "Death Star Black," green, or blue borders. For the three rarer sets, the red border is replaced with a sickly blue-gray (the backs are individually numbered out of 100), gold - which actually looks orange and is individually numbered out of 50 - and orange, which are unique 1/1 parallel cards. There is nothing particularly special about these parallel cards, save their collectibility, though the black parallel cards actually look pretty awesome. It's funny that they are the most common of the parallel cards.

There are a number of fairly common bonus cards - whose sets take about three boxes to complete - in the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards. Found one in every eight packs are Rogue One foil cards, Heroes Of The Rebel Alliance, and Villains Of The Galactic Empire cards. A little more common are the Rogue One comic strip cards and Death Star cards; found two per box are Darth Vader Continuity cards and the sticker cards. Only the Death Star cards are in landscape format, like the common cards; the rest are all in portrait orientation. Rather wisely, the Heroes and Villains chase sets do not bother with real text on the back; fans already know who these characters are. The sticker cards feature mediocre artwork of characters in sepia tones on a blue background and decent artwork of the various ships from Rogue One. The Death Star cards are neat in that they include some weird, obscure shots of various interiors of the Death Star, while the character foils do a decent job of blending the promotional images of Rogue One characters with generic foil backgrounds. The only real issues I found with the basic chase cards are that some of the Darth Vader continuity cards and Darth Vader-themed character cards are virtually identical, with one having to look at the back of the card to determine which card they are looking at!

One per box of the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards is one of nine Rogue One Montage cards. The Montage cards are a truly nice replicated artwork card of the new characters from Rogue One. These include very cool artwork cards of Jyn Erso, Director Krennic and some of the distinctive Rebels from Rogue One.

Also one per box are manufactured patch cards, which make up a thirteen card set. The patches are cute and some feature really neat ideas, like the MP-5 of Krennic. Instead of the standard Imperial symbol (which is the subject of Krennic's MP-8 patch card), the patch in the MP-5 card features the Death Star with Darth Vader superimposed on it. It might look vaguely like a Dalek, but it is pretty cool. There are three different individually-numbered parallel patch cards and, mercifully, the most rare of these is x/10 (featuring a red stripe on the front). The patch cards are pretty neat, though the parallels of the patch cards do appear to be exceptionally rare (I did not pull a single one).

As is frequent in all modern movie-themed trading card sets, the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards include autograph cards. There are 74 autograph cards spread between the classic Star Wars Trilogy, the Star Wars Requel films, and the animated The Clone Wars television show and Star Wars Rebels. The autographs are the incredibly unpopular format of autograph “card” where the signer signed a pearlescent white sticker and Topps slapped that sticker on a trading card. The Mission Briefing set was sold on its inclusion of the Original Trilogy’s Big Three – Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, and Mark Hamill, in addition to significant supporting actors like Anthony Daniels, Kenny Baker and Billy Dee Williams. There are a number of autographs that are poised to explode in value like Jason Isaacs (now that he has been cast in the new Star Trek television show), but the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards also have a bunch of filler autographs, like David Ankrum (Wedge Antilles's redubed vocal actor), Jack Klaff, Rusty Goffe (who played a Jawa), and Megan Udall - whose only IMDB credit is The Phantom Menace, whose role she arguably got as one of Anakin Skywalker's childhood friends was because she was being dragged around the Tunisia locations because her mother was the Unit nurse there!

There are four levels of autograph parallel cards that mimic the common parallel cards, though all are individually numbered. The borders on the autograph cards are bright green. The parallel cards feature the autographed stickers slapped on cards where the bright green borders are replaced with Death Star Black (and individually numbered out of 50 on the back), Blue (25), "Gold" (I swear, they look orange!, x/10) and orange (I can only imagine how these might be differentiated from the "gold" outside the number on the back - 1/1) borders. The death star black autograph cards all look amazing.

For insane collectors who want high-level chase cards, there are two dual autograph cards (each numbered our of 3), two triple autograph cards (also numbered out of 3) and one quad-autograph booklet, of which there are only two copies. Having only seen photos of the multiple autographs, they are far more rare than they are extraordinary. The quad autograph booklet is sold on its inclusion of Mark Hamill's signature alongside three other X-Wing pilots. Topps has found the formula of including killer signatures with unremarkable signers unsuccessful with some of their other products, like the Firefly: The Verse trading cards (reviewed here!) and Alien Anthology cards and one has to figure Star Wars trading card collectors have enough to chase without something quite this insane. I would argue that the best of these high-level multiple autographs is the Carrie Fisher and Caroline Blakiston (Mon Mothma from Return Of The Jedi) dual autograph card. It is the most sensible of the multi-autographs considering Topps could not release a Carrie Fisher/Ingvild Deila (Leia's body model in Rogue One, which was kept as a pretty well-guarded secret before the release of the film) for the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading card set.

The Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards include sketch cards from 33 different artists. In the case I cracked, I pulled only a single sketch card and Roy Cover's sketch was one of the nicest I've seen. Ingrid Hardy did some beautiful sketches for the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards, as did Chris Meeks. I was a little surprised by how little variation there were in some of Rob Teranishi's sketch cards, but most of the sketches for the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards were a decent chase card!

For the four people who want to chase everything but the 1/1 parallel common and autograph cards, there are 263 printing plate cards (four different colors - black, cyan, yellow and magenta) that were used to produce the cards in the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading card sets. The printing plates were used to make the common cards, sticker cards, character foil, comic strip, Darth Vader continuity, Heroes and Villains, Rogue One Montage cards and Death Star cards. The 74 autograph cards also have printing plates included in the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading card set and to the credit of Topps, they slapped an autographed sticker on each one, so one gets an autographed printing plate card, which is pretty cool.

Here is where the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards left me truly divided; were it not for the insane parallel numbers and the multi-autographs, the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards actually impressed me with the bonus cards. I liked the more common chase cards, especially for a set working to transition between the existing works and Rogue One with its limited available footage at the time the set was produced.

Non-Box/Pack Cards

Outside the boxes and packs, there was a set of ten promotional cards, which were originally made available at the New York City Comic Con. The set was, mercifully, made available to fans through Topps's website and is now available surprisingly commonly in the secondary market.

Overall

So. The Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards left me very divided in my opinion and I decided to make a split decision on the rating. When I consider the content of the set, I found myself liking the set a lot more than I expected - even with the weird biographies of pilots who were seen only for a few fractions of a second on-screen or some of the obscure signers. When I considered the collectibility of the set, I very much did not like the Rogue One Mission Briefing set. I found myself unable to reconcile myself to this set. So, I decided to give two ratings for the set, one for people who might like to collect, generally, one of each of the cards versus how the set would look to try to collect a master set (i.e. all of the parallels). For those who want a fun exploration of the elements that made Rogue One a viable standalone film, the Rogue One Mission Briefing trading cards are fun and cool. For those attempting to complete a trading card set, the Rogue One Mission Briefing are a dog to collect!

This set culls images exclusively from the Star Wars Saga, reviewed here, The Clone Wars, Star Wars Rebels and some early images and artwork from Rogue One (reviewed here)!

This is a set of trading cards I sell in my online store (new inventory being added daily!). Please visit and purchase from the current inventory of them at: Rogue One Mission Briefing Trading Card Inventory!

For other trading card collections based upon the films, please check out my reviews of:
2016 James Bond Classics
The Mortal Instruments Trading Cards
2014 Star Trek Movie cards

7/10 (Substance)
.5/10 (Factoring collectibility)

For other card reviews, please visit my Card Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2017 W.L .Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Adam Nimoy Meanders Through Memories Of His Father And His Father's Iconic Character: For The Love Of Spock!

The Good: Some decent interviews and clips
The Bad: A lot of common knowledge, Incoherent progression
The Basics: For The Love Of Spock feels far more exploitative than informative or a true tribute to Leonard Nimoy and Spock.


When Leonard Nimoy died, it was a shock and left a deep sadness within the Trekker community. For me, Nimoy's death stung, but I had had the good fortune to meet the actor multiple times at various Star Trek conventions and even inteact with him. Indeed, when I first met Leonard Nimoy, I carried out a postumous wish of a friend who died before she could meet him and I wrote a short story about it. Leonard Nimoy's death is one of the few celebrity deaths that resonated with me personally, but the sting of his death was muted rather quickly when Adam Nimoy announced his plans for For The Love Of Spock. At the time, the project did not have a name, but director Adam Nimoy announced he was making a documentary about his father . . . and he went to Kickstarter to raise funds for the project. As a fan of Leonard Nimoy's works, as one who watched legions of fans repeatedly shell out piles of cash to get Nimoy's autograph at conventions (and knowing those companies paid Mr. Nimoy for his time and service), I was offended. Leonard Nimoy did not die a pauper and regardless of how much Adam Nimoy inherited (or not) from his father, it was in pretty poor taste to solicit fans for money to complete the project.

Apparently, I was in the minority view for such things and Trekkers once again shelled out and allowed Adam Nimoy to complete what could have been a vanity project on his father's life. For The Love Of Spock is a meandering documentary that vaguely follows the narrative of Leonard Nimoy's life, blended with stories about the popularity of the character Spock and self-referential bits about the documentary itself. Given that there are two autobiographies from Leonard Nimoy, there is shockingly little information that is unique to For The Love Of Spock . . . so what is truly new in the film seems mostly like therapy for Adam and Julie Nimoy to talk about their father.

Opening with a self-referential clip that explains how For The Love Of Spock came to be, intended as a tribute to Spock for the 50th Anniversary of Star Trek, Adam Nimoy had begun work on the project before Leonard Nimoy died. After a brief biography of how Leonard Nimoy - who had never held an acting job for more then two weeks and was working as, essentially, a jack of all trades in order to make ends meet for his family while pursuing his passion of acting - was hand-selected by Gene Roddenberry to play Spock, the documentary transitions into an exploration of the character. Featuring interviews by William Shatner, George Takei, Karl Urban, Simon Pegg, Jason Alexander and Chris Pine and others, For The Love Of Spock discusses the dynamics of the character with how Nimoy portrayed the logical character against the more emotive Kirk and McCoy.

Adam Nimoy infuses himself into the documentary as it progresses. Adam Nimoy discusses the effect of popularity of Star Trek on the Nimoy family - mostly admitting repeatedly that his father was a workaholic who was barely around. Adam Nimoy's infusion of self into the narrative leads to some weird dead ends within the narrative, like his inclusion of a letter from the early 1970s where Leonard Nimoy wrote to Adam about his relationship with his own father after the two had a fight. Adam Nimoy then declares he was a deadhead at the time, puts up a video of Nimoy singing his song "Bilbo Baggins" . . . and the way he uses it seems like a way to subtly mock him. The weird infusion of Adam Nimoy talking about himself allows Adam Nimoy to promote himself - showing his first Star Trek convention, describing his father's support of him in being an entertainment lawyer, etc.

But the lack of a coherent narrative, any sense of linear development, quickly wears thin. For The Love Of Spock leaps from Star Trek into Nimoy's theatrical career after Mission: Impossible. But before discussing Star Trek: The Motion Picture (referencing the Animated Series, but not the aborted Phase II project!), Adam Nimoy leaps ahead to discuss directing his father in an episode of The Outer Limits . . . which came well after Leonard Nimoy had established himself as a director. In addition to having shockingly little new information, For The Love Of Spock starts to feel disengenious about the life of Leonard Nimoy.

Neglected in For The Love Of Spock is the period of Leonard Nimoy's life where he purposely attempted to distance himself from his experiences in Star Trek. Nimoy wrote his first autobiography, I Am Not Spock long before writing I Am Spock - which Adam Nimoy is shown reading and listening to in For The Love Of Spock. And then Adam Nimoy tosses in, late in the film, weird mentions of his personal conflict with his father and Leonard Nimoy's alcoholism.

The result is a documentary that very sloppily shifts from discussing the character of Spock and detailing the life of Leonard Nimoy. Adam Nimoy's late shift to discussing his estrangement seems incredibly self-serving as having so much material for people discussing Spock and Leonard Nimoy, there is an abrupt shift to only Adam Nimoy discussing his relationship with his father. In other words, despite its other narrative problems, there is a wealth of information and sources for so much of the information about all other aspects of Leonard Nimoy's life and the cultural impact of Spock . . . but then only Adam Nimoy's word for what went on in his relationship with Leonard Nimoy. And it is somewhat weird to see Adam Nimoy opening up to Zachary Quinto where Quinto asks some of the most pointed questions of the documentary. Similarly odd is that during that section of For The Love Of Spock, there is no material wherein Leonard Nimoy's second wife is given a voice in the documentary. The film climaxes not with any sort of tribute to Leonard Nimoy at any number of the Star Trek conventions that were done following his death . . . but rather with a Burning Man tribute from 2015 to Nimoy?!

So much of For The Love Of Spock is similarly sloppy or contradictory. I am a big enough person to admit when I am wrong, but with For The Love Of Spock, my impression before the fact was definitely right. This barely-documentary is more exploitative than it is revealing or engaging. For those who want to know about Leonard Nimoy's life, picking up either (or both) of his autobiographies is a far better use of one's time than For The Love Of Spock.

For other documentaries based on Star Trek, please check out my reviews of:
Trek Nation
Trekkies
The Captains

3.5/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Film Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2016 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Rising To Average, The Legends Of Star Trek Hikaru Sulu Ornament Is (Mostly) Recognizable!

The Good: Fair price, Good balance, Detailing on the tricorder
The Bad: Overproduced, Animated look, Skin coloring.
The Basics: The 2014 Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament is a disappointing ornament to celebrate the character of Sulu or the career of George Takei.


Every year, Hallmark comes out with a new Star Trek character ornament and for the past few years, Hallmark has been making original Star Trek characters under the banner Legends Of Star Trek. This year, it’s Lieutenant Sulu’s turn and it is something unsurprising that the ornament continues the trend of ornaments that the Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament has an animated look to it.

Starting out at $14.95, the Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament looks only like Sulu in a general way; outside the yellow shirt, all that really makes this ornament a Sulu ornament is the fact that the subject is not a Caucasian (this is Sulu by virtue of not being Kirk or Chekov).

For those unfamiliar with Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, he was the helmsman aboard the U.S.S. Enterprise for most of Star Trek (reviewed here!). Played wonderfully by George Takei, Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu is so seminal to Star Trek that casual fans seem unaware that Takei missed a huge chunk of episodes (mostly in the second season) and did not have a first name until Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country! The "Legends Of Star Trek" series gives Hallmark a chance to cast Sulu for the first time, though he was minimally rendered in the Star Trek II: The Wrath Of Khan bridge ornament.

Basics

The Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu vaguely recreates the Helm Officer of the Enterprise in solid plastic. The ornament, released in 2014, is presented very generally, with a problematically undeveloped sculpt for the face and head. Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu is fairly recognizable to genre fans holding up a tricorder and a communicator. Molded to be recognizable, the ornament still has a more animated look for the character than one might hope for. This comes, arguably, from the character’s rounded head and very generalized colorscheme that lacks realistic depth and shading. Sulu’s skin is not at all realistic to the fleshtones of George Takei! Measuring four inches tall by one and one-quarter inches wide by one inch deep, the Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament has been selling slowly at my local Hallmarks since its Preview Weekend.

The Hallmark Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament is made of a durable plastic and has the human officer standing in his yellow shirt, tight black pants and shiny black boots. The face is sculpted much more angularly than George Takei's is. This ornament is molded without deep attention to detail, like fingernails.

Conversely, Hallmark went to create painstaking detailing for the tricorder, getting it and the communicator in perfect proportion with the rest of the ornament. The tricorder is exceptionally detailed in both sculpt and coloring. Oddly, the same cannot be said about the head.

The Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu is colored correctly with his yellow Command shirt, outside his skin tones. Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu has very pale compared to the actor’s skin tones. I was impressed that the boots were a glossy black, while Sulu’s pants were appropriately matte in their finish. While the tricorder and communicator in his hands and the rank braids on his forearms are well-colored and detailed, the skin is much less impressive or realistic in its detailing.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, the Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu could have a function like a sound chip or light effect, but does not. This is just an ornament, a low-cost (comparatively) option for those who might not want to shell out for the starship or mural series of Star Trek ornaments. This is Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu, standing alone with a communicator and tricorder as opposed to behind his helm console. Having the ornament without any features might disappoint some collectors.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Star Trek Christmas Tree, the Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament is a necessary one, given that Sulu is an iconic character. The ornament has a brass hook loop that comes out of the top, center, of Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu's skull. To its credit, Hallmark's Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu is very well-balanced from that point.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Since then, they have made ornament replicas of almost all of the major starships from the franchise and when they started on the personnel in 1995, though this is the first Sulu ornament. The Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament was not a fast-selling ornament since its release in summer of 2014.

Given the precedent from the prior Legends Of Star Trek ornaments, combined with the already-slow sales of this ornament, this is unlikely to be a worthwhile investment piece; hold out for it to be on the clearance racks at the season’s end.

Overview

Fans of the Star Trek franchise, George Takei and Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu are likely to not be wowed by the Legends Of Star Trek Lieutenant Hikaru Sulu ornament. Even so, this Legends Of Star Trek ornament is not one of the worst Hallmark has produced!

For other Star Trek ornaments of characters, please check out my reviews of:
2014 Vina The Orion Slave Woman
2013 Legends Of Star Trek Chief Engineer Montgomery “Scotty” Scott
2012 Legends Of Star Trek Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy
2011 Legends Of Star Trek Spock
2010 Legends Of Star Trek Captain James T. Kirk
2009 Limited Edition Ilia Probe
2005 Khan
2004 Commander Charles “Trip” Tucker III
2003 Subcommander T’Pol
1997 Dr. McCoy
1996 Mr. Spock

4.5/10

For other Christmas ornament reviews, please visit my Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Disney Milks The Chinese Folktale Mulan Into A Familiar Flick

The Good: Strong protagonist, Decent story progression, Decent voice work
The Bad: Obvious Disney conceits, Very predictable plot/character development.
The Basics: A generally worthwhile story with good animation, Mulan falls into using the standard Disney conceits, making it a less than spectacular overall film.


My wife is a huge fan of Disney movies. It seems like whenever she is ill, Disney movies become an intellectual “comfort food” for her. So, with the removal of her wisdom tooth yesterday, I thought one of the ways to keep her warm, happy, and comfortable was to put on one of the many Disney movies I purchased for her since we met. I went with Mulan, largely because it was one that I had not yet reviewed.

Mulan is based upon an ancient Chinese folktale and the best elements of it are those that defy the Disney formula, as opposed to the many aspects that conform to their familiar structure. I mention this because I have not read or heard the original folktale, so I am unsure of how many liberties the huge staff of Disney writers took with the folktale and which elements were part of the original. As a result, this is a very pure review of the film Mulan with no commentary on the story upon which the film was based.

Mulan is a rebellious young woman living in ancient China when the country comes under siege by the Huns. As citizens from each family are conscripted to join the army to defend China, Mulan realizes her father is too old to survive. In defiance of her family, the emperor, and the ancient spirits that watch over her family, Mulan disguised herself as a boy and joins the military as her father’s namesake. While she is trained, the ancient spirits of the family enlist the disgraced dragon Mushu to stop her. In meeting Mulan, Mushu is actually convinced of how just her cause and methods are and he sets out to help her.

Standing against bullies within the army and the huns who are attacking, Mulan helps defend China and Shang, the rising star of the military.

Mulan is good and it is at its strongest as a character piece when it is focused on Mulan herself and her quest to forge her own life, away from the traditional roles thrust upon her. One of the first songs, which has her in training to be a dutiful wife, is one of the film’s few memorable musical moments and it sets up her discord with society – and the ancient spirits. Mulan should be a strong, smart character study about a young woman in the process of becoming.

Instead, however, it begins to employ the tragically familiar “Disney elements.” There are the buffoonish adversary/sidekicks, in the form of three military recruits who take an instant dislike to Mulan, but fall all over each other more than they do real harm to her. There is the comic relief sidekick in the form of Mushu, voiced by Eddie Murphy. There is the authoritarian figure or figures – the Emperor and the Ancient Spirits –, the romantic lead (Shang), and the generic villain. The wisecracks come at exactly the most predictable moments for anyone who has seen three to five (or more) Disney works prior to this one.

The plot set-up, though, it formulaic Disney. The moment Mulan dresses up as a man, the viewer knows there will be the exposing of Mulan as a woman and anyone familiar with Disney fare knows that Mushu’s task will invariably lead to his forgiveness by the ancient spirits, no matter what happens between the moment he is given his task and the conclusion of the film. Mulan is, in many ways, utterly unsurprising.

How, then, does Mulan even get up into average territory? First, the animation is pretty decent. There is a better sense of proportion and movement in the characters than there were in other Disney films of this era (late 1990s). While the music in Mulan is largely unmemorable, the character is one of the strongest female protagonists in Disney history. Indeed, Mulan is not a damsel in distress; she is a young woman taking charge of her own life and that is admirable and sets a fairly positive message for girls and young women. Her character’s journey, however, would be stronger without the Disney conceits. Lacking Mushu for guidance and random troublemaking help and the lame internal adversaries in the form of her fellow enlistees, Mulan would have grown to be an empowered heroine who rose on her own merits, as opposed to standing out as better than the lackluster lackeys the army conscripted or relying upon the occasionally unseen hand of her sidekick.

The voice acting in Mulan is universally wonderful, employing the talents of George Takei, B.D. Wong, Ming-Na Wen, Marni Nixon, Pat Morita, Miriam Margolyes, James Hong, Miguel Ferrer, Harvey Fierstein, and very obviously Eddie Murphy. The voices are expressive and good, even when the characters are monolithic or mundane.

Ultimately, Mulan could have been a strong, feminist story that was actually inspiring, but instead Disney played it safe to conform to its supposedly-winning formula. That conformity robs the film of much of its sense of originality – it simply becomes another Disney movie with a different setting – and makes it less than it should have been.

For other Disney animated films, please visit my reviews of:
Wreck-It Ralph
Brave
Tangled
Toy Story 3
A Christmas Carol
Up
Ponyo
The Princess And The Frog
Bolt
WALL-E
The Incredibles
Lilo & Stitch
Monsters, Inc.
The Lion King
Beauty And The Beast
The Little Mermaid
Lady And The Tramp
The Sword In The Stone
Sleeping Beauty
Fantasia

5.5/10

For other film reviews, please check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Trekkies Documents The Fringe Aspect Of An Interesting Subculture In The U.S.

The Good: Decent interviews
The Bad: Focuses on the fringe of the subculture
The Basics: Trekkies could have been a groundbreaking documentary, save that the director and host/documentarian focuses on the fringe of the subculture.


I am a fan of the Star Trek franchise. In fact, I eagerly identify as a Trekker. I had started my small business geared around Star Trek collectibles when the documentary Trekkers was being filmed and it was around that time that I started to truly identify with the culture.

Ironically, last night was the first time I sat down and watched the documentary Trekkies. It is worth noting that there is a difference between Trekker and Trekkies. Trekkers are the folks who know the show is a television show; we enjoy the franchise, we collect the collectibles, but we know it is not real and we have a life outside our favorite hobbies. “Trekkies” are the stereotypical unhygienic, obsessed fanatics who give Trekkers a bad name. “Trekkie” is, in fan culture, the derogatory – the “N word” – for the fans, relative to Trekker. So, I did not have high hopes for Trekkies.

Trekkies documents well; it is a true documentary, with no judgment made (explicitly) on the subjects. However, the subjects of the documentary exhibit a bias. Trekkies includes interviews with a Star Trek talk radio show, a transvestite male fan, a fourteen year-old fan who yells at a friend who calls during his interview (and once got in trouble at his Catholic school for wearing his costume), a dentist’s office designed to mimic a Federation ship, and others (like people who go out in daily life wearing their Star Trek uniforms).

These interviews are mixed in with Denise Crosby’s interviews with cast members and convention promoters/dealers. The cast members that Crosby interviews are remarkably gracious and they tell stories that are not available in other movies, shows or DVD bonus features.

Trekkies is interesting when Crosby and director Roger Nygard focus on the interviews from the celebrities and people behind the scenes of the conventions. The documentary exhibits a strong bias against fandom by focusing early on people like the juror in the Clinton trials who appeared for jury selection wearing her StarFleet uniform. By the time the film gets to interviewing a person who dresses their cat up in a StarFleet uniform, the movie has lost most of its cohesion.

Outside the bias, Trekkies suffers most from lacking a specific and careful focus. The movie meanders from interviews of celebrities to fans to writers of Kirk/Spock fanfiction without any real focus or finesse. The documentary is not horrible, but it is not going to attract legions of new fans or make Trekkers admit they would be associated with the Trekkies shown in this film.

For other documentary reviews, please visit my reviews of:
The Furious Gods: Making “Prometheus”
The Cream Will Rise
The Big One

4/10

For other film reviews, please check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Messing With You Don’t Mess With The Zohan On DVD Is A Waste Of Time.

The Good: Moments of message
The Bad: Not funny, Wastes good cast members, Predictable, Lame character development, Moments of message
The Basics: A terrible film not worth anyone's time or attention, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan is not funny, not clever and certainly not constructive.


Sometimes, it is only in assembling lists that I discover I have overlooked something I thought I had reviewed. For example, when I was making my list of the "Worst Films Of 2008,” I discovered that I had never actually penned a review of the film You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, even though it easily made that list. Now on DVD, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan is just as bad and a film I loathed having to suffer through again.

Whenever people pitch the "worst movie of the year" or make grandiose claims that certain films are the worst film of a certain time frame, I suspect they forget about works like You Don’t Mess With The Zohan. So, for example, for all of the problems some reviewers had with Twilight, it is hard to take them seriously when they declare that film to be worse than You Don’t Mess With The Zohan or The Love Guru. Similarly, when people claim that 2008 wasn't all that bad in the theaters, my first questions tend to be "Did you see Disaster Movie or (Stupid) Quarantine?" I preface my considerations of You Don’t Mess With The Zohan with these thoughts because it is an utter waste of time, talent and the DVD medium. And sitting through it twice now just left me feeling robbed of time and life.

Zohan is an Israeli secret agent who has no greater ambitions than to cut hair. A superstar in Israel, he dances, plays hackey sack, has sex with many women and catches numerous things - like a fish - in his butt. As the violence between the Israelis and the Palestinians escalates, Zohan sees no potential end to the violence and the rise of an equally powerful adversary, the Phantom, leaves him wishing for more.

So, Zohan fakes his own death by appearing to let the Phantom defeat him in hand-to-hand combat. As many women mourn the loss of Zohan, he escapes to the United States where he assumes an alter ego as a hairdresser. As a corrupt real estate developer moves in on a New York City neighborhood, Zohan raises business at Dahlia's boutique by cutting hair and having sex with all of her clients. Soon, though, Zohan is spotted by a man he once wronged, Salim, who is furious over Zohan taking his goat some years before. Salim threatens to expose the Phantom as a fraud for not killing the Zohan and they converge upon Zohan at a sham hackey sack tournament as the real estate developer hires some white supremacists to burn everything down.

Every now and then, there is a movie that just makes one sit up and say "wow, this is a stupid movie." You Don’t Mess With The Zohan is one such stupid movie, but not for all of the reasons one might think. For example, a comedy about Arab and Israeli relations is about due. The fundamental concept of this flick is not a bad one. The problem is in the execution. So, for example, watching Adam Sandler as the Zohan grill naked and shoot a fish out of his butt has no real redeeming value. And by the time that the viewer gets to more telling, quirky funny bits like Salim's obsession with the goat Zohan once took, the viewer already does not care. Why? In between there are a slew of jokes that virtually all boil down to the idea that it is somehow funny that Zohan has sex with middle aged women or senior citizens of all body types.

Moreover, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan is so forced with its generic and stupid form of humor that it has to telegraph it. This is essentially the function of Gail's son. Gail takes the Zohan in and her son walks in on Zohan and her repeatedly having sex. The joke then is about the son's revulsion and as most of the things with that character, the lines he delivers are essentially saying, "this is what you ought to be laughing at." The problem is, this type of humor is likely to only appeal to the 13 year-old members of the PG-13 audience. And of those, it's not even the brightest and certainly not the most mature 13 year-olds that will find it funny.

By the time the humor gets around to actually being political, it is far too late and hardly funny. So, when Zohan's friends in New York City begin talking politics, the conversation soon degenerates into a conversation on which politician's wives each of the men would be willing to have sex with.

Far more insidious in the film is the equation of Israelis and Arabs with terrorists, though to be fair to Sandler, Smigel and the other writers, they are indiscriminate in their prejudice. Both the Israeli characters and the Palestinian ones are heavily armed and have all sorts of weapons just laying around. This - even in the context of a comedy - reinforces the prejudice that "they" are all terrorists. And it is in that regard that the film has its one decent exchange of dialogue. One Arab character says "People hate us because they think we are terrorists!" to which an Israeli character notes, "People hate us because they think we are you!" There is plenty of hate to go around in You Don’t Mess With The Zohan and unfortunately, when it is not overtly combating the hate, it is subversively reinforcing the worst prejudices about the Israelis and the Palestinians.

At least as offensive is the sheer amount of talent that You Don’t Mess With The Zohan wastes. Talented comedians show up for quick appearances that do not utilize their talents or make them the butt of jokes pertaining to one aspect of their personality. So, for example, Chris Rock's appearance as a cab driver is short and disappointing. That George Takei, Dave Allen and Kevin Nealon went anywhere near this movie is unfortunate.

And of the principles, one tends to expect what they get from both Adam Sandler (who plays Zohan) and Rob Schneider, who is "disguised" as the Arab Salim, but that John Turturro gets sucked into this crapfest is just offensive. Turturro has a great ability to play comedic as well as dramatic. And I had to watch Cradle Will Rock (reviewed here!) after seeing this movie on DVD just to cleanse my palate because Turturro plays a character of such integrity in that film. But in You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, Turturro is wasted, even with his sense of comedy. As the Phantom, he flops with the physical comedy and the verbal gags are hardly funny enough to waste his abilities on.

Now on DVD, You Don’t Mess With The Zohan includes a bevy of deleted scenes which add nothing to the movie, featurettes on the behind-the-scenes antics and development of the movie and commentary tracks that are not funny either. Those who find this movie funny are hardly the type who will enjoy commentary tracks and Sandler and Schneider, who both appear on the commentary track, are particularly unenlightening about anything in regards to the movie.

For those even considering You Don’t Mess With The Zohan, just ask yourself if there isn't some better way to waste two hours of your life. Having wasted over four hours on this insipid "comedy," I can tell you: there are better uses of your time!

For other works with Nick Swardson, please be sure to visit my reviews of:
Jack And Jill
30 Minutes Or Less
Just Go With It
Bolt
I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry
Almost Famous

1.5/10

For other movie reviews, be sure to check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2012, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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A Nod To The Star Trek Fans When Star Trek: Voyager Presents A Listless "Flashback"

The Good: Good acting, Enjoyable for fans, It's nice to see Sulu . . .
The Bad: Ridiculous/tedious plot construction, Minimal character work, Harbinger of poor writing
The Basics: In a surprisingly lackluster tribute to Star Trek, Star Trek: Voyager concocts a reason to present Captain Sulu's Excelsior for an episode.


When Star Trek: Voyager entered its illustrious third season, it was the thirtieth anniversary of Star Trek and the stewards of the franchise set out to pay tribute to the original series. On Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, the writers conceived of a time travel adventure that put members of the Deep Space Nine crew into a situation alongside Kirk, Spock and the Tribbles in "Trials And Tribble-ations" (reviewed here!). Over on Star Trek: Voyager, where the proverbial wheels were wobbling off the creative wagon and the show was limping along without any real sense of direction, the writers and producers decided to go another way. Like the Star Trek: The Next Generation episodes "Unification" (reviewed here!) and "Relics" (reviewed here!), Star Trek: Voyager took the simple route of having a member of the original series appear on the show. The character that pops up is Captain Hikaru Sulu and the episode is "Flashback."

While exploring a nebula, Lieutenant Tuvok begins to hallucinate and becomes unable to function in his post as Chief of Security. Janeway, ever compassionate to her good friend, offers to help and the unlikely solution of a Vulcan mind-meld comes into play. Janeway journeys with Tuvok back to his first StarFleet mission aboard the U.S.S. Excelsior in his mind. There, they realize that the nebula Voyager is exploring bears a resemblance to a nebula the Excelsior explored. Soon, while Tuvok hallucinates of a girl falling to her death repeatedly, it becomes clear there is a repressed memory or other force at work here and Tuvok's true condition puts his life in jeopardy.

Sadly, what afflicts Tuvok is an unexciting as it is unmenacing. Its existence within Tuvok after some eighty years is as improbable as it is ludicrous. In order for the episode to work, it hinges on a fairly common reversal and a plot device that is disappointing to see any series in the Star Trek franchise utilizing. Even fans of general science fiction will find the resolution unsurprising and dull. Sadly, "Flashback" marks the first of several episodes in the third season that will employ similar . . . entities that utilize memories. At least this episode is the first and therefore is not derivative.

But outside that, the episode is just a tribute to Star Trek that is little outside itself. In short, a retrospective look at Star Trek has about as much original content and enthusiasm working for it as "Flashback." This is a thinly-veiled tribute worked around a plot that is weaker than . . . well some of the social issues disguised as aliens of the week in Star Trek. My point here is that while "Trials And Tribble-ations" strove to create something in its own right within the Star Trek universe, "Flashback" seems to just regress to an acknowledgment of itself.

That said, Star Trek fans are likely to find quite a bit to enjoy in just seeing Sulu again. Following up with the role and position Sulu achieved in Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (reviewed here!) as the Captain of the U.S.S. Excelsior, "Flashback" finds Sulu on a mission and Ensign Tuvok along for the ride (with Janeway as well). Sulu is a worthy character to focus on and one who there's enough in the series (especially including the films) to suggest he had quite a life and history to him outside the paltry role he played as the helmsman of the U.S.S. Enterprise.

What "Flashback" does exceptionally well, then, is to present Sulu as a legitimate character in his own right as opposed to a tool of Captain Kirk's. Sulu here is seen as authoritative, clever, independent and self-actualized, something he almost never was on the original Star Trek. In the '60s, Gene Roddenberry got points just for having a multiethnic cast. In the 90s, the novelty of seeing an Asian flying the ship was not enough; we need our cast doing things, working as equals, having a personality. While Sulu had more footnotes than Scotty, Chekov or Uhura, he was still never on par with the credited three Star Trek actors. In "Flashback," Sulu gets real character and actor George Takei gets a real role.

Takei steals every scene he is in and while it's a pleasure to see him, this feels more like a sales pitch for the next Star Trek spin-off (in retrospect, "The Adventures Of Captain Sulu" seems like a far better idea than the execution of Enterprise!). At Star Trek conventions for years afterward, Takei proudly declared that "Flashback" reunited the entire Excelsior bridge crew from Star Trek VI. Takei wanted this to lead to something and honestly, it would not have been so bad if it did.

Sadly, the episode is a one-shot and Tuvok and Janeway are simply plot devices used to enable the producers to do something other than Star Trek: Voyager for a week. Fans are likely to enjoy seeing Grace Lee Whitney (Yeoman Janice Rand in the first few episodes of Star Trek, now a Commander and the Excelsior's Communications Officer) in a scene where she dominates the screen. But again, it's pretty obvious and pretty much in place of any real content.

My point in all of this is that "Flashback" is a decent tribute and as a fan of Star Trek, I recommend it solely for the novelty viewing (it's not worth more than one spin) and the chance to give a fitting sendoff to another member of the original Star Trek cast. Taken as a loving tribute to Star Trek, it is entertaining and it is what it is. It is, sadly, not much more.

This is more of a side trip away from Star Trek: Voyager and there's not enough plot to even suggest that Tuvok's quest to find why he's hallucinating about a girl dying and that the result is brain damage is at all compelling or even interesting. But hey, it's a chance to see a character from Star Trek in action one more time. That's worth one viewing, even if that's all.

[Knowing that VHS is essentially a dead medium, it's worth looking into Star Trek: Voyager - The Complete Third Season on DVD, which is also a better economical choice than buying the VHS. Read my review of the entire season here!
Thanks!]

5.5/10

For other Star Trek reviews, please visit my Star Trek Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2012, 2007 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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