Saturday, July 5, 2014

Oh So Ugly! The Toy Factory Captain Kirk Plush Utterly Disappoints!



The Good: Recognizable as a Star Trek character?
The Bad: Ugly, Proportions are off, Just ugly.
The Basics: A caricature of Captain Kirk, the Toy Factory plush Captain Kirk is a terrible representation of William Shatner’s Captain Kirk!


A few years ago, my wife got me one of the most horrible toys she ever found for me. That toy was the Scotty plush from Toy Factory (reviewed here!). At the same time that horrible plush was released, Toy Factory produced an equally ridiculous Captain Kirk plush. The Captain Kirk plush looks even less like the William Shatner version of Kirk than the Scotty doll looked like a version of James Doohan in fabric.

Basics

Captain Kirk, for those who are not in the know, is arguably the essential character of Star Trek (reviewed here!) as he is the heroic leader who commands the starship Enterprise. Played by William Shatner, Captain Kirk is a fairly recognizable character and Toy Factory made a plush doll of Captain Kirk to help milk Trekkers and Trekkies of their cash as part of the push for the new(er) movie Star Trek (reviewed here). Captain Kirk is easily recognizable by the yellow Command shirt he wears as the essential part of his uniform that differentiates him from other members of the Enterprise crew.

Sadly, this is arguably the poorest rendition of Captain Kirk ever made for licensed merchandise. The 9" tall stuffed Captain Kirk looks more like an Animated Series character than William Shatner's Captain Kirk. The hideous stuffed toy has his arms and legs spread wide, so it is over seven and a half inches wide at the widest point and it is over two inches deep. Captain Kirk is stitched up in three colors of fabric: black (shoes, pants, hair), yellow (shirt) and pink (face and hands). All other details that needed to be colored onto Captain Kirk are silk-screened on. As a result, Captain Kirk has a Command insignia badge silk-screened onto his chest. He also has his face silk-screened on!

This Captain Kirk plush is supposed to be the William Shatner Captain Kirk, not the new Chris Pine one. Either way, with the generic brown hair painted on the plush, this could just as easily be Walter Koenig’s Chekov as it is William Shatner’s Captain Kirk. Captain Kirk's face is a pretty generic set of lines (actually, the face looks exactly like the animated style of Clerks: The Animated Series) and Captain Kirk is smirking ironically. His eyes are essentially black dots and the mouth is a curved line that makes Captain Kirk look like he is smugly considering betraying the consumer.

The only stitching details for Captain Kirk come in the fact that there are two flaps sewn into the head for ears (these look like Shrek's ears more than Captain Kirk's) and on the hands. On the hands, there are three loops stitched perpendicular to the tips to provide the basic appearance of fingers.

What truly kills the toy for fans of Star Trek is that in trying to make something cute, Toy Factory made something out of proportion that looks slightly demonic. Captain Kirk's big round head is 3 1/2" in diameter. That is over a third of the toy's height taken up by the head! The torso and legs are an additional three inches, of which the feet are over an inch and a half tall! These insane proportions make Captain Kirk look utterly ridiculous.

Accessories

Captain Kirk comes with no accessories, nor are there any available. There is a tag on Captain Kirk's left hand indicating exactly who and what this toy is (and alerting me that there are Scotty and Spock plush toys as well). Because the toy cannot hold anything, there is no practical way to accessorize for it.

Playability

Captain Kirk is the first plush toy I've ever reviewed and I suppose that he could be played with like other stuffed animals would be. This toy is not exactly ideal for play - it does not stand up - or display - it is ghastly and embarrassing. As a result, it is hard to consider this aspect of the toy. Mine quickly ended up in a box, though my dog pulled it out and chewed on it, thinking perhaps that it was one of her toys. The dog seems to get more play out of the Captain Kirk plush than I do; even though it does not have a squeaker in it.

Collectibility

Well, I'm a pretty avid Trekker and I sell a lot of collectibles in addition to reviewing them. I have no idea who would want to collect these plush toys and I'm almost afraid to find out. The value of them has to be pretty low because they sell online more than they ever did in stores and they were also pretty commonly available in select claw machines. They proved so unpopular even there that I can still find them in some! Captain Kirk might well be the most common of these Toy Factory plushes.

Overview

There are plenty of great Star Trek collectibles for fans and collectors that are tasteful, fun and have some value. This Captain Kirk plush toy is just plain horrible and not worth tracking down, much less paying for . . . or spending the time trying to win from the claw machine game.

For other toys or merchandise of Captain Kirk, please be sure to visit my reviews of:
Minimates Gorn and Kirk two-pack
Art Asylum Captain Kirk MiniMates figure
2010 Legends Of Star Trek Captain Kirk

.5/10

For other toy reviews, please be sure to visit my Toy Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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