So Much The Bridge Episode, “The Things We Bury” Simply Reorganizes The Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.

The Good: Good acting, Some good moments of character
The Bad: Remarkably aimless plot
The Basics: “The Things We Bury” ups the body count and puts the Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. closer to their enemies.


One of the nice things about having a decent-sized cast for a television show is that characters who are underwhelming at one point in the series may have longer arcs that allow them to truly grow and develop. In the first season of Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D., Agent Grant Ward was a largely unimpressive character until the last few episodes of the season. With his release in the second season of Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. to the field, Ward has the chance to truly grow and develop again. The latest episode, “The Things We Bury” has moments that refocus on Ward well. In fact, more than a direct sequel to the prior episode, “The Things We Bury” acts as a conceptual sequel to the first season episode “The Well” (reviewed here!), which was arguably the most substantive Ward episode in the first season.

Without viewing “The Things We Bury” as a sequel to “The Well,” Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. is at an awkward narrative point. Given that one of the big lingering plot points from the first season and going into the second season was resolved in “The Writing On The Wall” (reviewed here!), the show has the potential to list. Fortunately, “The Things We Bury” works to enrich what came before and move the main plot surrounding the Diviner, the obelisk introduced in the second season premiere, forward.

Opening with Daniel Whitehall, in the 1940s, studying the Obelisk by killing Japanese prisoners, Whitehall realizes that the Device will take a long time to study. In modern times, Whitehall’s H.Y.D.R.A. resources are devoted entirely to studying the Obelisk and Skye’s father arrives to help him. As Coulson’s team reacts to his erratic behavior in tracking down the map of the city, Bobbi Morse interrogates Bakshi. As Coulson and Skye worry about how to find Ward, Ward manages to track down his brother, Senator Christian Ward. May and Simmons uncover archives from Agent Carter while Skye’s father tries to convince Whitehall to give him the resources to find the city Coulson learned about as a result of his resurrection.

Grant takes his brother out into woods where he interrogates him about their past and prepares him to dig up the well. Fitz starts his rehabilitation under Coulson’s care, though he is concerned that the device Coulson wants him to be able to field-build is busywork (which is how he interprets the work Coulson gives Tripp and Skye). Going through the Carter archives, Simmons identifies Whitehall. Grant tortures Christian to get him to admit the truth about their brother, Thomas, and the incident at the well. Coulson and his team head to Australia where they have six minutes to hack the network which would help them find the mysterious city . . . but they discover that H.Y.D.R.A. has preceded them!

Throughout the episode, flashbacks work to fill in the history of the Diviner, at least on Earth. Peggy Carter interrogated Daniel Whitehall in 1945 and she refused to cut him a deal. From “The Things We Bury,” it becomes undeniably clear that Whitehall is absolutely obsessed with understanding The Diviner. His interactions with Carter at “The Rat” are cold and he works hard to maintain a sense of control, though Reed Diamond’s performance subtly illustrates his frustration at being unable to immediately pursue his studies of the Diviner. Whitehall is wonderfully villainous and his mysterious age-defiance is finally explained.

One of the most notable aspects of “The Things We Bury” is the acting. Tim DeKay has been in a lot of things that I have seen and he has never been given the chance to exhibit the range he exhibits in “The Things We Bury.” In the scene where Ward takes Christian out into the woods, DeKay is passionate and gives Christian some realistic depth, which is a lot for a minor character to get and for a character actor to live up to. DeKay exceeds all expectations in what could be a ridiculously minor role. Brett Dalton plays off DeKay wonderfully and at a key moment, it seems like he might take a ruthless turn, but Dalton and Ward go in a different direction that beautifully subverts expectations.

When it focuses on character, “The Things We Bury” actually succeeds. Unlike the Hayley Atwell cameos earlier in the season, her appearances in “The Things We Bury” does not feel so much like an advertisement for the forthcoming Agent Carter spin-off. Between the time devoted to flashbacks and the way the Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. are divided into multiple teams, “The Things We Bury” is a pretty aimless episode. On the plot front, key events like Skye’s father meeting Coulson and Whitehall’s lieutenant, Bakshi, getting interrogated are pretty much the big events. Fitz’s arc is continued and he reaches another milestone and Agent Tripplett is put in mortal peril, but the build-up to the events is much more substantive in the episode than the pay-off.

Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. is now a hunt for a temple, according to Skye’s father, and the build-up to the inevitable collision between Skye and her father. If “The Things We Bury” is any indication, the new formula for the show will spread the cast thin in order to slowly move the plot forward and try to devote a little time to every one of them. If that is the case, the result will be like “The Things We Bury;” a generally decent – if average – episode with a few superlative moments but does not add up to much and is not a well-contained hour of television on its own.

For other works with Hayley Atwell, please visit my reviews of:
”Shadows” - Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Captain America: The Winter Soldier
Captain America: The First Avenger
The Duchess

[Knowing that single episodes are an inefficient way to get episodes, it's worth looking into Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D. - The Complete Second Season on DVD or Blu-Ray, which is also a better economical choice than buying individual episodes. Read my review of the sophomore season here!
Thanks!]

5.5/10

For other television reviews, please check out my Movie And Television Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Good Night Gollum, Friskies Tasty Treasures Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Pate Was Gollum’s Final Favorite Food!

The Good: Nothing bad in it, Gollum absolutely loves it
The Bad: None.
The Basics: Gollum eagerly ate up all of his Friskies Tasty Treasures Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Pate cat food, which brought him quite a bit of happiness near his end.


Just over a decade ago, I had a house and my cat at the time, Brillo, was getting a little lonely with me being on the road a lot. So, to keep Brillo company, I got a new cat. The local rescue, Wanderer’s Rest, had just gotten in a bunch of kittens and I went there to see what they had. There was a tiny kitten with a disproportionately large head and even larger eyes. He was a black cat and I was told immediately that I could not name him “Shadow.” I loved Peter Jackson’s The Lord Of The Rings movies and lacking a name that addressed his pitch black coloring, I suggested the name “Gollum” would work. And it did. Gollum was an amazing cat.

Last night, Gollum started laying down in his litter box and he seemed pretty miserable. This afternoon, I took him to the veterinarian and discovered that his bladder had calcified; this was a problem that had occasionally recurred with him and the vet informed me that after all of the potential treatments for Gollum, there would be no guarantees about him ever getting better. Faced with the difficult choice of watching him potentially suffer for another decade or giving him a chance to depart peacefully, I decided that the most humane thing to do was not let him suffer or be scared. So, understandably, I am pretty sad right now.

On the plus side, Gollum was not sad at all. In fact, last night, he had a meal that he absolutely adored. I cracked open a can of Friskies Tasty Treasures Pate Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Cat Food.

Gollum eagerly ate up a whole bowl of Friskies Tasty Treasures Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Pate and given how picky he had become (I knew something was wrong with him this morning when I could not get him to eat any ham!), it was clear he absolutely loved this.

Basics

Friskies Tasty Treasures Pate comes in a metal 5.5 oz. single serve container. Supposedly, Gollum for his weight and age should eat two of these containers per day! Even on sale, that would be a pricy endeavor, though I found it at the discount store for only $.59/can! Despite not feeling well, last night Gollum came running to eat it and as soon as Timber smelled it (given that we are not trying to fatten him up), he too came running. Gollum licked clean his whole dish of Friskies Tasty Treasures Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Pate.

Ease Of Preparation

The Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Tasty Treasures Pate opens up easily enough in the 5.5 oz. metal container. The small metal container has a thin aluminum lid that easily pulls off. Opening the container reveals the food inside. Tasty Treasures Pate Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese looks like corn beef hash with little cheesy chunks instead of potatoes. This cat food may be dispensed into a cat's food dish by either smacking it against the bottom of the dish or spooning the contents out into the dish. Alternatively, this wet cat food may be eaten right out of the can, though the metal edges are sharp and that method is not recommended for cats.

Gollum And Timber’s Reactions

The Friskies Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Tasty Treasures Pate smells richly of meat and cheese. This has a decent beefy smell that is so much stronger than other pates I have ever given Gollum! I can smell this food even after it has been out of the can for about fifteen minutes. Gollum barely let it linger in his bowl that long; he ate it up within twenty minutes. Gollum ate the whole can of Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese Tasty Treasures Pate, even though he did not eat anything before or after (including some other beloved treats).

The Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese also enticed Timber and he has been enjoying the second can I had picked up for Gollum now. This Pate did not leave either cat’s breath smelling after they were done eating it.

Nutrition

The Tasty Treasures Pate Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese is very nutritious for cats and it has nothing noticeable bad in it (I'm not a Chem student, so I can't speak for all of the preservatives). But considering that the primary ingredients are water sufficient for processing, meat by-products, and beef. Friskies seems to have its act together on making an essentially good product. According to the guaranteed analysis on the container, there is a minimum of 10% crude protein and 5% crude fat and no more than 1% crude fiber, 3.5% ash, and 78% moisture. This is food appears to be wheat-free and it most definitely requires refrigeration after it is open!

Hard cat food has clear dental benefits that the Tasty Treasures Pate Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese does not have. When the cats chew (to split into bite-sized pieces) their hard cat food, it scrapes plaque and tartar off their teeth. There is no such physical operation going on with this cat food. Even so, Gollum’s immediate love of this food makes it well worth picking up.

Overview

Less expensive than actual tuna these days, Friskies created a perfect cat food with their Tasty Treasures Pate Beef & Liver Dinner With Cheese. I have often thought of what would be a good last meal for myself; I am thrilled that for my beloved companion of the last ten years, his last meal was one he loved so very much.

For other Purina/Friskies cat foods, please visit my reviews of:
Purina Beyond Salmon & Whole Brown Rice Recipe cat food
Friskies Party Mix Mixed Grill Crunch Chicken, Beef & Salmon flavor cat treats
Purina Friskies Mixed Grill Classic Pate cat food

10/10

For other pet product reviews, please visit my Pet Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Finish High: The Ninth Doctor Goes Out With A Bang In “The Parting Of The Ways!”

The Good: Wonderful acting, Great moments of character, Good tone, Decent effects, Cool villain moments
The Bad: None, really.
The Basics: Peaking with Rose reaching her heroic destiny (for now), “The Parting Of The Ways” sees the Ninth Doctor squaring off against the ultimate Dalek fleet!


Season finales have a big place in my heart and for the new Doctor Who, the “first” season finale – the finale that saw the climax of the character journey for the Ninth Doctor – created a standard that was hard to top. “The Parting Of The Ways” did exactly what a great season finale ought to do, which was bring the season together and conclude it in an engaging way that made the viewer want more. Taking obscure elements like the extrapolator acquired in “Boom Town” (reviewed here!), “The Parting Of The Ways” picks up immediately after “Bad Wolf” (reviewed here!) and it becomes one of the most memorable season finales in science fiction history.

Watching and rewatching “The Parting Of The Ways” made me realize that there are incredibly few amazing season finales that actually feature truly grand battles. Even Star Trek: Deep Space Nine’s “A Call To Arms” (reviewed here!) was much more about the build-up to invasion than it was about a tremendous battle. “The Parting Of The Ways” is similar, though it does contain an incredible battle. But, like other impressive conflict shows, “The Parting Of The Ways” features an important ethical dilemma and has some surprises that are chilling time and time again. That makes the episode far more than just a conclusion to one season and a tease for the next; “The Parting Of The Ways” is an incredible hour of television that makes a larger statement . . . and it is a compelling one.

Opening with the Ninth Doctor rescuing Rose by transporting the TARDIS onto the Dalek mothership, The Doctor learns that the Daleks managed to survive the Great Time War through the intervention of the Dalek Emperor. The Dalek Emperor managed to harvest the dregs and lost members of humanity for their genetic material to create the new race of Daleks. The Doctor reasons that the Daleks (now made of pulped human DNA) loathe their own impurity and that makes them more dangerous than the Daleks ever were before. Returning to Satellite Five, The Doctor realizes that he can destroy the Dalek fleet using a Delta Wave . . . but it will take him days to build the weapon and the fleet is only twenty-two minutes away. After Harkness sets up a shield that will protect Satellite Five from the Dalek ships (and force them into making an assault by invading the satellite), he leaves The Doctor and Rose to rally the humans below Level 500 to try to hold off the impending Dalek invasion.

As the Delta Wave generator nears completion, The Doctor tricks Rose into getting into the TARDIS and he sends her back to her native time period. The Dalek Emperor, who has minted himself as the god of all Daleks, reveals that he knows The Doctor’s plan and is surprised when Harkness backs The Doctor’s plan to destroy the Dalek fleet even if it means wiping out all life on Earth (as the Delta Wave can be executed, but not sufficiently targeted in time). As Satellite Five is invaded by the Daleks and the humans who are willing to fight in the bleak future make a last stand, 200,000 years in the past, Rose Tyler unravels the mystery of Bad Wolf and works to make direct contact with the TARDIS to save humanity on her own terms.

“The Parting Of The Ways” is one of those amazing episodes of television that grows on the viewer with each viewing. Conflicts or concepts that do not quite gel in the first viewing are better explained through seeing the show multiple times. Chief among these is Rose Tyler’s Bad Wolf leap. When Rose Tyler looks into the heart of the TARDIS, so many things that were unresolved or minimally explained can be justified. In simpler terms, any issue one might have with the way Rose Tyler reasons out how the Bad Wolf graffiti is a message that she should go back to the future can easily be justified or explained away through the temporal influence that give her: at the moment Rose has the epiphany, the Bad Wolf is giving her the specific epiphany she needs. It’s pretty cool when the effects precede the cause, but “The Parting Of The Ways” does that very well.

The episode also does a decent job of continuing both the love between the Ninth Doctor and his dalliance with Lynda, who was introduced in the prior episode. Lynda drew The Doctor’s eye and even though “The Parting Of The Ways” has some of the purest moments of emotional connection between Rose Tyler and The Doctor, The Doctor still seems willing to run off with Lynda.

What sells all of the undertones (more than a soundtrack that builds to an emotional crescendo throughout the episode) is the episode’s climax and the performances in it. When The Doctor must choose between being coward or killer as he is set up to be the great exterminator in the wake of the Daleks decimating Earth, Christopher Eccleston gives his most impressive and deep performance as The Ninth Doctor. Eccleston goes through virtually every emotion in his performance in the last ten minutes of the episode and he is masterful in doing so.

In a similar fashion, Billie Piper connects with Eccleston like a complete professional. Her role in “The Parting Of The Ways” is easy to empathize with and she gets through some of the philosophical technobabble exceptionally well. The connection between Piper and Eccleston is amazing onscreen in “The Parting Of The Ways” and the episode manages to be big and intimate at the same time. The episode cements the Ninth Doctor as one of science fiction’s greatest, most complicated, intriguing heroes. That makes “The Parting Of The Ways” essential viewing for fans of science fiction or just great television.

[Knowing that single episodes are an inefficient way to get episodes, it's worth looking into Doctor Who - The Complete First Season on DVD or Blu-Ray, which is also a better economical choice than buying individual episodes. Read my review of the sole season with the Ninth Doctor here!
Thanks!]

For other season finales, be sure to visit my reviews of:
“The Beginning Of The End” - Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D.
“Learning Curve” - Star Trek: Voyager
“Gethsemane” - The X-Files

10/10

For other Doctor Who episode and movie reviews, please visit my Doctor Who Review Index Page!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Severe Balance Issues Are All That Brings Down The Wonder Woman Amazons And Adversaries Artemis Figure!

The Good: Decently detailed sculpt, Great accessories, Good coloring
The Bad: Cannot stand!
The Basics: I finally get my hands on the Amazons And Adversaries Artemis figure and find it to be unfortunately wanting in a key aspect.


This year I have been very fortunate to manage to flesh out several of my collections. Foremost of those has been my DC Direct action figure collection. In addition to several of the lingering Blackest Night figures that I have managed to pick up, I finally found an affordable collection of the Wonder Woman Amazons And Adversaries action figures. The first one I have cracked open is the Artemis figure, which I was pretty psyched about as a fan of Wonder Woman.

For those unfamiliar with Artemis, she is an Amazon from Themyscira who was frequently jealous of Diana. Motivated frequently by anger and jealousy, Artemis fought Diana in The Contest (reviewed here!) to take the role of Wonder Woman from her. A skilled archer, like her namesake, Artemis has long hair and an athletic build and is ready to kick ass.

Artemis is lightly armored and looks like she could run, jump and shoot her bow and looks like Artemis from the Wonder Woman comic book. DC Direct has only released the one iteration of Artemis so far.

Basics

Artemis figure is very basically-detailed, which makes sense given how she is not detail-rich in the comic books from the late 1980s. This version of Artemis is wearing a bodysuit and shin armor. She has a severe face and big hair and in those elements, DC Direct got the detailing right. The Amazonian challenger stands 7" tall as an action figure. Her costume is simply black and green with silver shin armor, which make her look perfectly like the character rendered in the pages of the DC Comic books. Artemis is an action figure exclusively from DC Direct (Mattel did Artemis as Wonder Woman in their toy line).

This toy is a completely accurate sculpt, especially for a character that has only had two-dimensional references, Artemis looks good in all three dimensions. DC Direct did not make the character insanely busty, which is reassuring and she comes with both her hands open enough to hold each of her accessories. The armor looks functional and Artemis has her quiver on her left thigh.

What is most impressive, arguably, about the Artemis figure is the sculpting work on her face and hair and the coloring of them. Artemis has the sharp cheekbones and pursed lips of the character and eyes that are angry-looking. Rightfully, Artemis’s face has minimal coloring details to it, though her lips are realistically dark red. Because the comic books this character comes from are not photorealistic, there is not a realistic expectation that the figure would have more realism in its coloring. What is cool is how well-detailed the red hair on Artemis is. The hair is orange with black highlights and it accents both her main ponytail and the descending braid that goes over her left shoulder.

Accessories

Artemis, powerful Themysciran who is ready to take Diana’s place, comes with only two accessories. She has her bow and her Themysciran sword. The bow is two shades of green, 6 9/16” tall, and has a fishwire string on it that makes it look like an actual bow. The bow may be held in either of Artemis’s hands.

Artemis also comes with the cool sword that was featured with the character in the books. The 4 1/4” long plastic sword is silver-gray with a spiky green hilt. The sword fits perfectly in Artemis’s left hand and it matches perfectly the rest of the figure.

Playability

The DC Direct figures were designed more for display than play. Unfortunately, Artemis is poor on both fronts. She has fair articulation and absolutely terrible balance! Flatfooted, this is absolutely unable to stand. Artemis comes with only eight points of articulation, most of which are simple swivel joints. Artemis has joints at the waist, shoulders, elbows, wrists and head. The elbows are both hinge joints; all the rest are simple swivel joints, which does limit the figure’s articulation and poseability. No figure I have yet encountered from DC Direct would have benefitted more from a stand than this one, but alas, it does not come with one.

Collectibility

Artemis is part of the DC Direct “Wonder Woman” Amazons And Adversaries line which was only distributed through comic book shops and specialty toy stores. The Artemis figure was a wonderfully sculpted figure and given how few Artemis figures there are, it seems like it is generally maintaining its value; at least it is not losing value. Given the hope Wonder Woman fans might have for an Artemis figure that actually remains standing, hopefully someday this figure will be replaced by DC Direct with a more articulate and better balanced version. When that happens, I would suspect that this figure will become virtually worthless.

Overview

Artemis is a cool character, indispensable in the Wonder Woman mythos and she deserves a better figure than one that falls over constantly.

For other Wonder Woman toy reviews, please check out my takes on:
Wonder Woman Series 1 Donna Troy As Wonder Woman
1999 Wonder Woman DC Direct figure
The New 52 Wonder Woman

6/10

For other comic book toy reviews, please check out my Comic Book Action Figure Review Index Page!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Daenerys Takes Britain: Dragons Of Camelot

The Good: Timeless story, Moments of special effects
The Bad: Terrible acting/directing, Finer points of the special effects, Horrible dialogue
The Basics: While certainly not the worst independent film I have ever seen, Dragons Of Camelot suffers most from issues surrounding the script and direction.


It seems like each year right around this time, I end up taking in a truly independent film that reminds me of just how amazing tenacious filmmakers on a shoestring budget can be. Last year, the efforts of the completely independent film The Snow Queen (reviewed here!) garnered my attention (if not my praise) and this year, looking for a late 2014 release, presumably to try desperately to make up some investors’ money before year’s end, is Dragons Of Camelot. Dragons Of Camelot is a specific type of bad that is easily definable and the problems with it were so obvious and unfortunate that what shocked me most about the film was learning that its director, Mark L. Lester, is an experienced director. Lester has directed major motion pictures, like Commando and Firestarter. With a cast of virtual unknowns – Mark Griffin and Selina Giles have competently appeared in some bigger projects – Lester seems to have no patience and surprisingly little craft, which makes Dragons Of Camelot a project that could have worked, but does not.

Why put such heavy critique right up front? It’s simple; Dragons Of Camelot is the Arthurian myth (or rather the post-Arthurian myth), so much of the plot and characters is known. The story of Galahad and Lancelot wresting control of Camelot from the tyrannical Morgan Le Fay is an obvious hero epic that has a strong fan base of its own (thanks, in no small part in recent years to The Adventures Of Merlin); so the key piece of information reviewers can give about Dragons Of Camelot is how this film differs, qualitatively, from other iterations of the same story. Despite a lot of potential, Dragons Of Camelot gives up early and director Mark L. Lester rushes to get through the film with no apparent care.

In its most direct analysis, Dragons Of Camelot suffers most because Lester does not let his performers breathe. All of the dialogue is delivered with such speed that none of the performers are given a chance to actually act. Their affects are almost universally flat, as if they are just reading the lines off cue cards; they lack the emotional resonance of the words they are saying. Paired with repetitive jokes, ill-timed screams and such a lack of on-screen chemistry between the principle players, Dragons Of Camelot is mostly a mess of actors who seem like they (not their characters) are constantly racing daylight.

Opening with the death of King Arthur of Camelot, Morgan Le Fay enchants a dragon living in the mountainside near Camelot to give up its youngest dragon. Harnessing the power of the baby dragon, Morgan Le Fay takes over Camelot, imprisoning the now-powerless Merlin and Guinevere. Before she is thrown in Morgan’s dungeon, Guinevere tells Galahad that Arthur was not, in fact, his father; she tells him Lancelot is his biological father and the only one who can retake Camelot, if only Galahad can get Lancelot to reforge Excalibur. Armed with the shards of Excalibur, Galahad flees the castle and goes searching for his long lost father.

Almost immediately, Galahad falls prey to highwaymen – and their leader, Dindrane. While Morgan consolidates her power, Galahad and Dindrane form a relationship and start to find surviving members of Arthur’s Round Table. After finding Lancelot as a drunkard who is not interested in retaking Camelot, Dindrane and Galahad must convince him to reforge the sword, slay some dragons, and stop Morgan.

Dragons Of Camelot feels almost instantly like it is trying desperately to capitalize on the popularity of Game Of Thrones (season two is reviewed here!); Morgan does not seem to exhibit any real power or ability of her own until she gets the young dragon. Only by wielding the power of a dragon does she, like Daenerys, gain the ability to take the kingdom; only by extorting the same dragon after the death of its offspring does she retain control for so long. Unfortunately, Dragons Of Camelot has decidedly mixed special effects. The dragon looks initially good and when it tears the head off a rebelling peasant, it’s pretty cool. But the dragon in flight looks more like a parody of a special effect than a creature that exists in the real world; the wings move so formulaically they are obviously generated by a computer and the way the feet and hands of the dragon simply hang as it soars shows a distinct lack of understanding of real-world flight physics.

Actress Alexandra Evans plays Dindrane and she, especially, comes across as listless, like every line is just one she is trying to get out and right. In almost every scene she is in, I felt like I was watching a lost performance by Kristen Cloke, but without any character reason for the part to be played in an occasionally unsettling manner. Mark Griffin plays Lancelot without either the scripted addicted personality or the spark of humor in his delivery that could make Lancelot’s recurring joke work. Sandra Darnell is not given enough opportunity to make Morgan Le Fay a credible villain; there is nothing in the film that adequately explains why she wants to rule Camelot or even make her seem like a power-crazed madwoman corrupted by magical ability.

James Nitti plays Galahad and from almost his first frames on screen it is obvious that Dragons Of Camelot is his first major role. Whether or not Nitti has any innate ability that helped him win the part is a mystery after watching his performance in this film. He had no on-screen chemistry with either Griffin or Evans and his sense of timing is as off as everyone else’s.

Ultimately, Dragons Of Camelot is a study in taking the known and familiar and delivering it in such a way that mediocrity and failures of form prevail over anything that might recommend it.

For other fantasy films, please visit my reviews of:
The Mists Of Avalon
Labyrinth
Alice In Wonderland

3/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Film Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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As High As It Gets Without The Promised Flavor: Coffee Masters Mudslide Coffee Disappoints!

The Good: Excellent aroma, Tastes very good, Caffeinated.
The Bad: Doesn't taste like any of the promised mudslide flavors.
The Basics: My first taste of Coffee Masters coffee leaves me underwhelmed when their Mudslide coffee blend does not live up on the promised sweet, chocolatey coffee flavor.


My quest for great-tasting coffees continues! I am a huge fan of the infrequently-found coffee that tastes like the flavor it promises. Coffees are one of the realms of food and drink that benefit from generic titles (“Columbian Supreme,” “French Roast,” etc.). When you put the name on a coffee that declares that it is intended to taste like something distinct – chocolate raspberry, butter rum, etc. – most coffee roasters fall drastically short on their promises. That is what happened with Coffee Masters Mudslide coffee.

Basics

Coffee Masters Coffee has several different flavors and I found the bag of ground Mudslide flavor coffee at my local clearance store. The Mudslide flavored Coffee Masters Coffee comes ground in a foil bag and the 12 oz. package we found was very affordably priced at $4.99! The copper-color bag is easy enough to open and the twelve ounce standard package is resealable.

Ease Of Preparation

Coffee Masters Coffee is easy-enough to prepare. One Tablespoon of the Mudslide Coffee Masters Coffee makes two cups of coffee. We brewed up our full pot in our Hamilton Beach coffee maker (reviewed here!). The Mudslide coffee comes pre-ground and smells wonderful and it is easy enough to scoop out and into a filter.

Taste

The Mudslide coffee smells divine. Unadulterated, it smells like chocolate and caramel in an instantly inviting way. In fact, brewing up the Coffee Masters Mudslide coffee left our house smelling incredible and we were thoroughly prepared for deliciousness.

Unfortunately, the flavor of the coffee is just coffee. Coffee Masters Mudslide coffee is delicious as a dark roast flavor, but that is all. There is no hint of chocolate, caramel, or liqueur in the coffee’s flavor palate. Is it good? Yes. Is it mudslide? Not really, no. On the plus side, for the strength of the coffee’s flavor, this is a surprisingly not bitter blend!

With creamer, the coffee flavor is almost entirely sublimated to the creamer, which is surprising given how rich the initial flavor of the Coffee Masters Mudslide coffee is.

Coffee Masters Mudslide coffee does not leave one with an aftertaste in their mouth.

Nutrition

The ingredients to this coffee are strangely vague. There is Arabica Coffee and then the vaguely-defined “natural and artificial flavors,” but nothing more descriptive than that.

In terms of nutrition, this coffee lacks any. One 8 oz. mug of this coffee provides nothing of nutritional value to the drinker. There are no calories (save what one adds from sugar or milk), no fat, sodium, or protein. The caffeine, however, is strong enough to perk one up! This is an energizing beverage, even if it does not live up to its promised flavor.

Storage/Clean-up

Coffee Masters Coffee tea is very easy to clean up after - the coffee grounds may be disposed in the garbage, or composted if you have a good garden and/or compost pile. The coffee itself is a very dark coffee and it will stain delicate fabrics, so if it spills, it ought to be cleaned right off things like tablecloths or light cottons.

Coffee Master put a recommendation to reseal and refrigerate the coffee right on the bag. Following that direction yielded consistently flavorful pots of coffee.

Overall

Coffee Masters Mudslide coffee is a wonderful coffee, but an entirely underwhelming rendition of what a Mudslide is supposed to be (or even a Mudslide-flavored coffee). As a result, it gets the highest a food can get from me when it is delightful, but not the promised flavor; strictly average.

For other coffee reviews, please check out:
Tim Horton’s Fine Grind Coffee
Taster’s Choice Gourmet Roast
Seattle’s Best Level 5 Blend

5/10

For other drink reviews, please visit my Food & Drink Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Indistinct Bjork: Vespertine. The Only Thing Worse Than Weird Bjork, Is Boring Bjork!

The Good: Moments with genuine creativity
The Bad: Boring, Repetitive, Utterly unmemorable, Incomprehensible, Unimpressive vocally and musically, Familiar
The Basics: Bjork creates what some would have doubted the strange artist could: an album that is utterly bland and boring, indistinct and underwhelming in every sense.


Bjork may well be an acquired taste, but as I pretty much finish up my run of listening to her albums (I'll still take on her "Greatest Hits," because I cannot seem to find my review of that anywhere), I think it is a fair statement to say that the bulk of her work is creative and very different from the norm. The problem is that when she is not being weird and so different as to be unsettling and creepy, her works are just plain dull. Unfortunately, with Vespertine, Bjork crosses the line from being truly alternative and unique (even if I did not like the results) to boring, familiar and pedestrian. Vespertine is Brand Bjork; for those who have listened to her other works, there is nothing truly new and different here.

The only real difference between Vespertine and albums like Debut and Selmasongs is that Bjork does not push out the envelope in any new way. The result is an album that is indistinct and unmemorable. I am on the eighth listen through the album and I swear I could not pick out a single track. Moreover, whenever it begins to replay, I never notice, so homogenous is the sound on the album.

With twelve tracks clocking in at a little under fifty-six minutes, Vespertine is indisputably the work of Icelandic alternative singer-songwriter Bjork. On the album she wrote (or co-wrote) all of the tracks as well as produced (or co-produced) all of the songs. As well, she provided the primary vocals for each song, did arrangement of choirs, harp and programming on many of the tracks (often with others). Moreover, she plays harp on one of the tracks and laid down the bassline on other tracks. She is intimately involved, according to the liner notes, with each track on Vespertine. This, truly, is her album.

Unfortunately, Bjork is - at best - an artist who has poetics that are memorable and a concept of individuality that is laudable. Unfortunately, on Vespertine, the lyrics are not up to the caliber of some of her other poems and what can be understood tends to be so only because of repetition. Vespertine is plagued by repeated lines that are just grating listen after listen. This starts with the first track, "Hidden Place." I swear if it were not for the words lines "I'll keep it in a hidden place" and the variants that all include "Hidden Place" in them, the song is indecipherable. But lyrically, it is not that interesting even to read.

This is saying something because the lines - as printed in the liner notes - are some of the most sexual that Bjork has ever written. But she manages to take somewhat sensual lines like ". . . But I can smell a pinch of hope / To almost have allowed once fingers / To stroke / The fingers I was given to touch with / But careful careful / There lies my passion hidden . . ." ("Hidden Place") and gut the mood by attaching the intriguing lines to the virtually same repetitive lines that are heard before and after it. In other words, Bjork's attention to structural convention and more traditional refrains (or at least two word phrases repeated ad nauseam) guts the originality of her lines.

And while it seems like she might be developing themes on Vespertine, like a theme of fingers, which come up on "Hidden Place," "Pagan Poetry," and "Sun In My Mouth," she never truly lands them. Instead, she opens with the idea of fingers as sexual organs and then goes nowhere with the idea.

The album, instead becomes obsessed with repetition. Track after track, the few lines that are comprehensible are made so by repetition. "Undo," which is plagued by repeated background vocals of "It's not meant to be a struggle uphill" precedes "Pagan Poetry" alliterative title pops up with annoying frequency and obviousness and then degenerates into "She loves him" being repeated over and over again.

I write "when comprehensible," because - like many albums by Bjork, Vespertine features the Icelandic soprano leaping all over the vocal range but presenting most of the lyrics with a whispy voice that is hardly forceful or articulate. Force is present with "Aurora," which also has the annoyingly repetitive - though thematically sensible for creating an aural presentation of light - high pitched vocal progression scales. But after being forceful, she mumbles her way through the latter half of the song.

And on Vespertine, Bjork's voice is hardly impressive. Instead, it is remarkably traditional and obvious; it sounds like it could be almost any female singer who is produced into the music. But most of the lines are not comprehensible because Bjork sings them quietly and with little emphasis on them. Truly, this is the definition of indistinct music. None of her vocal performances stand out, save that one recognizes that she is singing when she repeats the same lines over and over and over again.

On the plus side, it does seem like Bjork's pronunciations on Vespertine are more true to the English language. This is a plus because she seems to insist on singing in English. On this album, what can be understood actually sounds like Bjork fully understands what she is singing. (On prior albums some of her pronunciations were just terrible and she sang her lines with a quality so tentative that it felt like perhaps she had been given a translation of her own works and did not know exactly what words corresponded with the ones she wrote.)

Like many of her albums, Bjork produces various sounds into the songs, like her trademark animal sounds on "An Echo, A Stain." But here is an excellent example of Brand Bjork formula; almost all of the songs are produced and assembled the same way. They are all quiet songs, with disproportionate emphasis on drowning the lyrics out with strings and production elements. The notable exception to this is "Sun In My Mouth," wherein Bjork holds her own against the harp.

Like many of her albums, Vespertine also emphasizes percussion over the lyrics, which is awkward to be able to hear what is keeping time over what is being said. The percussion is most notable on "Heirloom" which is also one of the most heavily produced tracks on the album. It also sounds like it could have been on virtually any other Bjork album.

And therein lies the problem with Vespertine. As mentioned before, it is generally a quiet album and each song is presented in almost the same way as the one before it and the one after and as a result, the album flows from track to track, reloaded without leaving any impression. "Flow" tends to imply a good sense of arrangement; "blend" would probably be a more accurate assessment of the music on Vespertine. The songs blend together in a way that is very dull to the ear. Truth be told; I might have listened to this album more than the eight times I think I have, given that the replay does not strengthen the listen.

Fans of Bjork will not find anything they have not heard before. Not literally, of course; this is entirely new material. The problem is that it does not sound remotely new. This is the same old thing and it is familiar and boring. Those unfamiliar with Bjork will not be bowled over by anything on this album. Musically it is dull and it sounds more like a sublime pop album than a truly alternative work. It is common, overproduced and lacking in originality and/or vision.

The best track, if it could be said to be one (given how it blends), is the purely instrumental "Frosti." Everything else on the album could be considered one, long, mundane, inferior track.

For other works by Bjork, please check out my reviews of:
Debut
Telegram
Homogenic
Selmasongs: The Soundtrack To Dancer In The Dark

1/10

For an organized listing of all my music reviews, please check out my Music Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014, 2008 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Baking With Truvia Yields The Sugar Substitute’s Greatest Benefit!

The Good: Not unhealthy, Does not taste bad, Substitutes for sugar in baked goods well
The Bad: Expensive, Does not quite taste like sugar
The Basics: Truvia is a good sugar substitute for those looking to replace sugar in baked products, but is a tougher sell on its own, especially for the expense.


As someone who is looking to eat and drink healthier of late, I was pretty excited when I found Sin-Free Sugar (reviewed here!) recently. As good as Sin-Free Sugar is, though, it is way too expensive for me to use as a reasonable sugar substitute when it comes to baking. Using other sugar substitutes yielded baked goods that were either too expensive to plausibly make/replace in my diet with the lower-calorie option or had a taste that was fundamentally altered by the sugar substitute. Some sugar substitutes even change the way the product bakes up, making it way too much hassle. I was about to give up on using sugar substitutes in my baked goods until I encountered Truvia.

Truvia is a sugar substitute that is designed for people who have dietary needs that force them to take in less carbs and few calories. Truvia is one of the rare sweeteners designed to replace sugars in baking and that is where it truly shines.

Basics

Truvia is a white granule that replaces sugar. We picked it up in the 9.8 oz. resealable plastic canister. The plastic jar was more expensive than a five pound bag of sugar, but was still a little less expensive than some comparable sugar substitutes. After opening the jar, one has easy access to the Truvia. The seasoning is basically a sweetener that is opaque white and hard, like tiny crystals of sugar that have been broken up with a mortar and pestle. The sweetener is white, as opposed to clear or translucent .

Ease Of Preparation

Truvia is exceptionally easy to use. Simply open the jar and scoop the granules onto the item one wants sweetened. With the bulk packs, it becomes very easy to use as a sugar replacement. There is no trick to sweetening with Truvia.

Taste

Smelling the Truvia, Truvia has a very slight scent to it. The aroma of the sweetener on its own is a very, very mild smell that I am unable to describe in any way other than “chemically.” There is a specific chemical it smells like, but I cannot put my finger on it, but the smell is so very mild that it does not diminish the product because one truly has to inhale super deeply before they can find the scent.

On the tongue, Truvia is sweet . . . ridiculously sweet. The flavor is much like someone took sugar and made a super-concentrated crystal powder of it; it is that sweet. However, this sweetener also has a very faint coldness to the way it tastes and in that way, it is instantly reminiscent of such artificial sweeteners as Equal or Sweet And Low. This product, however, has a similar chemically aftertaste that dissipates far, far quicker. Within ten seconds after it is last consumed, the overly sweet, minisculely bitter aftertaste is gone.

As a control, I added Truvia to my cup of Maxwell House Dark Roast Coffee (reviewed here!) in order to test how it sweetened. The Truvia effectively cut the bitterness of the black coffee and sweetened the coffee exactly as an artificial sweetener would. In addition to cutting the coffee’s bitterness, it infused the flavor of the coffee with its sugary-sweetness and (for lack of a better term) a hint of dryness distinctive to artificial sweeteners.

Using Truvia in baking products, namely chocolate chip cookies, yielded good results though. The cookies tasted sweeter than normal (granulated sugar-based) chocolate chip cookies, but baking with the Truvia worked perfectly without the need to otherwise alter the recipe. In other words, Truvia is a sufficient replacement for sugar when cooking, which cannot be said of many sugar substitutes!

Nutrition

Truvia is predictably impressive on the nutrition front. In a 1 gram serving, there are no calories. There are 3 grams of carbs and no fat in the serving! There are no other nutrients in Truvia, save three grams of Erythritol (which is a sugar alcohol).

On the ingredients front, Truvia is good and simple! Truvia consists entirely of Erythritol, Stevia leaf extract and natural flavors. There is actually nothing unpronounceable in this sweetener. It is suitable for people with diabetes.

Storage/Clean-up

I could find no expiration date on my container of Truvia, but it seems reasonable that it would not expire so long as it is kept dry.

If the Truvia gets on clothing, it shouldn’t stain, mostly because it is a solid. It easily wipes off any surface it gets on.

Overview

Truvia is expensive (more so than plain sugar) and I was not sold on it as an additive to other foods, but it impressed me with how it reacted as an ingredient. For those looking to bake for health-conscious, weight-conscious or diabetic individuals, Truvia finds its worth. But for those looking for a day to day sugar replacement, Truvia is not quite the sweetener that lives up to its price.

For other garnish or spread reviews, be sure to check out my reviews of:
PB Crave Coco Bananas Peanut Butter
Domino Light Organic Agave Nectar
Stevia In The Raw

6.5/10

For other food reviews, be sure to check out my Food Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Stonehearst Asylum Makes Poe Work On The Big Screen!

The Good: Decent acting, Good plot progression
The Bad: Mediocre character development
The Basics: Stonehearst Asylum is a typical, if well-executed “lunatics running the asylum” story.


Autumn is a good time for independent cinema and I try to give the non-Oscarbait films as much attention as I give to the mainstream releases. As a result, I was pretty surprised to discover that I had missed a more-indie release in the form of Stonehearst Asylum, a film instantly notable for its impressive cast. While Stonehearst Asylum was released in late October as part of the traditional October horror movie push, the film diverts from the usual schlock by merit of having an impressive cast and being based upon a work by Edgar Allen Poe. When the likes of Michael Caine, David Thewlis, Brendan Gleeson and Sir Ben Kingsley appear in a film that is swept under the rug, it is cause for concern.

Stonehearst Asylum’s cast is led by Kate Beckingsale and Jim Sturgess and is a period piece, which might well be why the American theaters did not embrace it (or promote it). As noted, Stonehearst Asylum is based upon a short story by Edgar Allen Poe and it is worth mentioning that it is not one of Poe’s works that I recall reading.

Opening at Oxford University, 1899, where a roomful of men study hysteria in women, Eliza Graves is introduced as a madwoman that the alienist keeps on heroin to keep her calm. Edward Newgate arrives at Stonehearst Lunatic Asylum on Christmas Eve where he intends to complete his study as an alienist. Newgate meets Dr. Lamb, who runs Stonehearst. Lamb shows Newgate around, illustrating how most of the residents of this particular asylum are relatives of affluent, well-bred members of the aristocracy. Despite wanting to learn the profession to help people, Newgate sees Eliza Graves playing the piano (as Lamb’s treatment for her hysteria) and he is instantly smitten. Lamb’s egalitarian view on patients and doctors mixing affords Newgate the opportunity to interact with Graves (and embarrass himself at dinner).

Eliza rescues Newgate from drinking Mickey Finn’s elixir and advises him to get out of Stonehearst immediately. That night, Newgate hears knocking on the air vents and he follows the pipes to the boiler room. There, Newgate finds Dr. Salt and the true managers of Stonehearst imprisoned in the basement. Trying to rescue Eliza Graves, Newgate bides his time in an attempt to wrestle control of Stonehearst from Lamb. Given directions on how to find Lamb’s secret case history, Newgate struggles to overcome Lamb and save Graves, Salt and the other imprisoned staff, despite how Graves raises questions in his mind as to how she was treated before the overthrow.

Stonehearst Asylum seems at its outset to be Hysteria (reviewed here!) meets Shutter Island (reviewed here!). The latter film’s similarity is no doubt intended; Sir Ben Kingsley is placed in essentially the same role in Stonehearst Asylum as he was granted in Shutter Island! Kingsley is unsettling to watch in his role of Dr. Lamb in Stonehearst Asylum; he plays the role in such a way that Lamb is undeniably smart and yet shattered. Kingsley and Michael Caine play off one another in the exposition scenes with equal gravitas and it is unsurprising that Lamb is shellshocked. Kingsley and Caine are playing characters who are essentially playing foil characters engaged in a psychological chess match. When Kingsley has to progress beyond the disturbed elements of Lamb’s character to play him as smart, delivering social and medical commentary, Kingsley is entirely convincing.

Newgate is almost instantly characterized as a caring man who earnestly wants to help people. He arrives at the asylum naïve and genuine. Over the course of Stonehearst Asylum, he proves that he is sincere in his respect for the essential humanity of all the patients in the asylum. Newgate manages to treat one of the forlorn victims of Stonehearst and his willingness to connect with the patients is compelling. It is also the source of the social commentary throughout Stonehearst Asylum. Newgate sees the injustices against the mentally ill and wants to cure them . . . he is just caught up in a horrific circumstance that prevents him from doing the most absolute good.

The cast of Stonehearst Asylum is universally good in their roles. Kate Beckinsale is competent as Eliza Graves, but the focus on Newgate makes it completely understandable why Icon changed the title to Stonehearst Asylum (it was originally Eliza Graves). Jim Sturgess plays Newgate as increasingly tormented by his surroundings and he manages the character’s transformation from obvious hero to victim of the manipulative Lamb wonderfully. Sturgess is such a good performer that one almost forgets that his character is intent on pursuing a married woman when she is at her most vulnerable, which is pretty disturbing.

Of the supporting cast, David Thewlis is given the most to do as the rapey, murderous Mickey Finn.  This is arguably his darkest role and Thewlis leaps into it with a commitment that makes him unsettling to watch in every one of his scenes.

In all, though, the strong cast and social commentary of Stonehearst Asylum are not enough to strongly recommend the film. Stonehearst Asylum is unsettling and good, but like most horror/thriller pieces, it hinges more on mood than character and that brings it down a bit.

For other films currently in theaters, please check out my reviews of:
To Write Love On Her Arms
Paddington
Selma
Still Alice
Predestination
The Interview
The Hobbit: The Battle Of The Five Armies
Expelled
Annie
Comet
Horrible Bosses 2
10,000 Days
The Hunger Games: Mockingjay - Part 1

6/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Film Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Stiff Joints Rob The Red Lantern Atrocitus Blackest Night Figure Of His Wrath!

The Good: Good sculpt, Decent Accessory, Generally good coloring
The Bad: Poor balance, Poor articulation, Mismatched colors
The Basics: Atrocitus burst into Blackest Night as an antagonist, but the Blackest Night Series 1 Red Lantern Atrocitus action figure is not quite strong enough to have the same level of impact!


For the past few years, since I started actively collecting action figures based upon the characters I actually have come to like from the DC Comics universe, the figure that I have long coveted has been Atrocitus. The graphic novel series Blackest Night is what got me into graphic novels and in addition to a growing Wonder Woman collection, I have found great enjoyment in collecting figures based upon some of the coolest characters in the DC Universe. The Red Lantern Corps leader, Atrocitus, certainly applies. So, when the Blackest Night Series 1 Red Lantern Atrocitus figure finally went down in price to a place where I could afford it, I was pretty thrilled to finally add it to my collection.

Unfortunately, the DC Direct Blackest Night Red Lantern Atrocitus figureis just not all that it could be.

For those unfamiliar with him Atrocitus is the leader of the Red Lanterns during the Blackest Night. First introduced in Rage Of The Red Lanterns (reviewed here!), Atrocitus and the Red Lanterns use the power of rage to try to exact revenge upon Sinestro and all those who have victimized others. Atrocitus is the leader of the Red Lantern Corps and is fueled by a fiery rage that does not abate. . . at least not until he got his own book after being robbed of getting vengeance on Krona!

It is Atrocitus in his iconic Red Lantern costume that is the subject of the DC Direct action figure of the character.

Basics

The Atrocitus figure is a dynamic-looking sculpt, though the figure outside the package is far less movable or balanced. Atrocitus has a decent amount of color to him, especially in the impressive head and hands, but the rest of the figure is predictably lacking any subtlety or shading. The vengeful alien stands 7 3/8" tall to the top of the figure's head. The Blackest Night Atrocitus figure is available only from DC Direct, though Mattel has since made a less cool-looking version of the character.

This toy is a decent sculpt, especially when one considers this is a very obscure character. Atrocitus looks like he is screaming in rage, his mouth open and facial muscles and tendons stretched taut. His hands are sculpted in a fist and in a claw that looks ready to tear out an adversary’s throat. He is tall and muscular-looking, appearing solid like a sadistic, hellish, linebacker. On his left hand, Atrocitus has very long fingers and the figure includes such molded details as his sharp fingernails and knuckles. Atrocitus’s teeth are sculpted to be tiny, pointed and realistically deadly in their appearance.

Atrocitus's costume is a very simple Red Lantern uniform and on the surface, this ruby and black outfit looks exceptional. The white Red Lantern symbol painted on the front of his chest looks fitting and the metallic coloring to the Red Lantern outfit makes Atrocitus look powerful. However, Atrocitus has shoulder/neck defenses in the form of a collar/shoulderpad ensemble. In addition to protecting his head from attacks from the rear and severely limiting Atrocitus’s head articulation, the collar section diminishes the look of the figure by virtue of being made out of an entirely different plastic. The matte red plastic exists in stark contrast to the cool-looking red metallic plastic that makes up the rest of the inorganic portions of Atrocitus and his costume.

Accessories

Atrocitus, Leader of the Red Lanterns that he is, comes with only two accessories. He has his stand and his red lantern. The stand is a red and white disk with the Red Lantern logo. It is 3 3/4" in diameter and 1/4” tall and it has a single peg which plugs into the hole in Atrocitus's right foot. He is completely stable, but only when he is on his base.

Atrocitus also comes with a Red Lantern battery, which is molded to be in the same scale as the figure. His three-pointed battery is 1 3/4” tall and 1 1/4" wide and 1 1/2” deep. It looks like a classic lantern with cylindrical ends, save that it only has three points instead of four, and is molded bright metallic red. It matches the figure very well.

Playability

The DC Direct figures were designed more for display than play, but Atrocitus is a bit underwhelming on both fronts. First, he has exceptionally poor balance, even when he is flatfooted. Because he lacks a hinge joint on the ankle, when off the stand, Atrocitus must be posed flatfooted and it is virtually impossible to get the figure to stand independently. Fortunately, the stand the figure comes with solves this problem, but even there, he cannot be posed in very dynamic poses.

Atrocitus comes with only eleven points of articulation, with many of the joints inhibited. Atrocitus has joints at the knees, groin socket, shoulders, elbows, wrists, and head. The shoulders are proper ball and socket joints, while the elbows and knees are both hinge joints. The head is on a simple swivel joint, which allows him only to look left to right! Because of the cuffs, shoulder pads and protective collar, the joints at the wrists, head and shoulders all have exceptionally limited mobility, so an ideal pose of Artocitus with his left hand up in a vengeful, “join me or die!” pose is impossible. He can, however, hold his red lantern in his hand!

Collectibility

Atrocitus is part of the DC Direct Blackest Night Series 1 line which was fairly common, but only because it was re-released, though it was usually only distributed through comic book shops. Atrocitus is one of the many villains in the Blackest Night line, but considering most of the figures in the line are undead versions of popular DC Universe characters, Atrocitus is one of the few original characters. The Atrocitus figure is unique to this series and is of the same stature of characters like the Orange Lantern Larfleeze or the Blue Lantern Saint Walker. Atrocitus has, for the most part, held his value over the years. While he is now available for under $50, his price does seem to fluctuate in that range more than be truly depressed. However, it seems like the figure is at its stable collector’s price and is unlikely to appreciate in value more.

Overview

Atrocitus is an awesome character and he deserved an awesome action figure. DC Direct got a lot right with the sculpt and base coloring of the villain, but fell through on the balance, articulation and collar coloring. The result is a highly-valued figure that is objectively more average than it is superlative.

For other figures based on leaders of Ring Corps’s, please check out my reviews of:
Blackest Night Series 1 Saint Walker
Blackest Night Series 2 Indigo-1
Blackest Night Series 3 Star Sapphire
Blackest Night Series 5 Nekron
Justice Sinestro

6/10

For other toy reviews, please check out my index page!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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