The 2010 The Empire Strikes Back Luke Skywalker Ornament Is A Worthy Tribute To Irvin Kershner!

The Good: Good balance, Surprisingly good detailing on the costume, Fair price
The Bad: The face detailing and coloring is a bit off.
The Basics: The 2010 Luke Skywalker in X-wing pilot jumpsuit ornament is well-balanced, inexpensive and well-detailed, except on the face, which makes it a good holiday ornament!


Yesterday, a titan of cinema died. If not a titan of cinema, director Irvin Kershner was at the very least one of the few directors who can boast directing a perfect film. As this is the 30th anniversary of that film, The Empire Strikes Back, there is something of a bittersweet quality as I consider the Luke Skywalker, 2010, Hallmark ornament. As much a tribute to the anniversary of the film, Kershner's classic hero's journey tale is immortalized in so many different things that it is easy to now consider them and to write about them is a tribute to Kershner.

Luke Skywalker is the standard-release Star Wars Hallmark character ornament, and it is the fourteenth in an ongoing series. Released in 2010, this has been easily available and one suspects that even with the anniversary and Kershner's death, it shall continue to be generally well-available.

Hallmark Keepsake has a line of collectible ornaments from major franchises, like Star Wars and Star Trek. From the Star Wars line comes the Luke Skywalker in X-wing pilot outfit ornament. Fans of the Star Wars Trilogy will easily recall Luke Skywalker. For those unfamiliar with Luke Skywalker in his X-wing pilot outfit, on the frozen planet of Hoth in The Empire Strikes Back (click here for my review of the film!), he flew a snowspeeder to try to take out the Imperial Walkers. Because his helmet is off and he has his blaster drawn, it is easy to suspect that this ornament is intended to be from Luke's arrival on Dagobah, where he met Yoda, the Jedi master. Hallmark has Luke rendered in his bright orange flight suit, but without his helmet.

Basics

The Luke Skywalker X-Wing pilot ornament recreates the Jedi-in-training in solid plastic. The ornament, released in 2010, is the mostly-recognizable hero with his blaster pistol drawn! The only skin that is visible on the ornament is on the face, below the wet-looking, matted hair on his head and the neck above his flightsuit. This, unfortunately, leads to the only drawback of the ornament, which is that the sculpt of Luke's face is a bit off, making him look more like a gorilla than like Luke Skywalker. I know the Wampa creature beat Luke up, but he didn't look like this on Dagobah. Moreover, the skin tones are monotonal and as such have a less realistic appearance to them.

That said, the rest of the ornament was rendered exactly right. Luke in his jumpsuit is just over 4 1/8" tall, 2" wide and 1 5/8" deep. Hallmark charged $14.95 for the ornament originally and it has sold fairly coolly at that price, with most on-line vendors not jacking the price up much beyond that as a result. Given that the ornament was designed for fans, this is an ornament that appeals to collectors and Luke Skywalker is easily recognizable to them.

The Hallmark Luke Skywalker as X-Wing Pilot ornament is made of a durable plastic and has him holding a rebel blaster pistol in one hand at the ready and his other hand is somewhat open, his arm half-raised. His feet are arranged in an action pose, spread wide with his body half-turned, as if he were caught off-guard, just like the precise moment he draws his gun on the swamp when R2-D2 disappears into it.

Luke Skywalker is detailed exceptionally in the body, in the firearm and on the costume. The orange and white outfit is rendered precisely and the black boots stand out next to the bright orange of the flightsuit. One of the costume details that Hallmark got very right was making the white of the straps look weathered and dirty. It was a long flight from Hoth and what is supposed to be fabric looks worn and unclean!  As well, his hair looks anything but helmet-like, looking frumpy and wet as he would early in his Dagobah experience!  Kudos to Hallmark for getting that right. Similarly, the blaster pistol is not a monotonal black. Instead, it too, is colored to look weathered and somewhat worn.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, Luke Skywalker could have a function like a sound chip or light effect, but does not. This is just an ornament, a low-cost (comparatively) option for those who might not want to shell out for the vehicle or diorama series' of Star Wars ornaments. This is Luke Skywalker and he simply hangs on the tree. Luke Skywalker's gun may not be removed from his hand and there are no additional weapons or accessories for the ornament.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake Luke Skywalker X-wing pilot ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Star Wars Christmas Tree, Luke Skywalker is essential and this one is as good as any. Truth be told, I have not reviewed either of the other two Hallmark Luke Skywalker ornaments that I know exist so I shall refrain from the comparison until I can track them down. Either way, this ornament has a brass hook loop embedded into the top center, slightly back, of the character's skull. From that hook, the Luke Skywalker ornament hangs balanced. It is impressive and the ornament sways when rocked, but otherwise sits stable in the right position!

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for my review of that one!). Since then, they have branched out into other popular franchises like Star Wars and The Wizard Of Oz. The Luke Skywalker ornament is not at all limited and has not appreciated in the secondary market yet, which makes sense because many Hallmark stores still have him on their shelves. At this point in the Star Wars ornament collections, the primary characters have all been done and there are at least two other Luke Skywalker ornaments to choose from. Luke Skywalker was mass produced in 2010, though the exact numbers have not been released, making it a very common one on the market today.

One suspects with the sheer volume of Luke Skywalker merchandise available that the 2010 Luke Skywalker Hallmark ornament might be better for fans who want it for display than investors looking to turn a buck later on.

Overview

Like most Star Wars ornaments, Luke Skywalker has nothing to do with the Christmas holiday, but the ornament gets high marks for balance and costume detailing, even if the face is not quite right. Still, it is pretty easy to recommend as a holiday ornament, especially fans of The Empire Strikes Back looking to get something for the 30th Anniversary or in honor of Irvin Kershner.

For other Hallmark ornaments of Star Wars characters, please check out my reviews of:
2010 Lando Calrissian Limited Edition ornament
2009 Greedo Limited Edition ornament
2009 Han Solo As Stormtrooper
2008 Emperor Palpatine ornament
2005 Slave Leia ornament
1999 Max Rebo Band mini-ornament set

8.5/10

For other holiday ornaments, please check out the index page!

© 2010 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Lackluster Compilation: Reba McEntire's Christmas Collection Underwhelms

The Good: Excellent vocals
The Bad: Short, Uninteresting instrumental accompaniment, Incomplete, Nothing original
The Basics: 20th Century Masters: Christmas Collection - The Best Of Reba is a mediocre Christmas album that offers fans of McEntire nothing new from her two prior Christmas albums.


As I am still new to transferring my music reviews into my new blog, it occurs to me that some of my standards might not be well-known to my newer readers. One of those standards is a general disdain for Christmas albums. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against Christmas or most of the artists who release Christmas albums (okay, maybe a little on the latter). I tend to look at most Christmas albums as an obvious cashgrab whereby artists and performers put in minimal effort to try to make a quick buck. So far, the only Christmas or winter holiday-themed review that has made it to the blog is Aimee Mann’s One More Drifter In The Snow (click here for that review!). Sadly, Reba McEntire’s Christmas compilation is not going to fare so well. Unfortunately for Reba McEntire and the concept of the 20th Century Masters collection, The Best Of Reba: The Christmas Collection is almost all of Reba McEntire's Christmas works and includes nothing original.

My real beef with 20th Century Masters: Christmas Collection - The Best Of Reba, outside a persistent belief that the vast majority of Christmas albums are exploitative attempts by artists to cash in on Christmas spending, is that the album is short and culls from only two Reba McEntire albums. McEntire escapes my usual judgmental wrath over performers using Christmas c.d. sales as a safe paycheck by virtue of her being a performer as opposed to a musical artist. Because all of the rest of her albums feature works written and performed instrumentally by others, it is hard to say she is being exploitative when she released a Christmas album. In Reba McEntire's case, there are two Christmas albums: Merry Christmas To You and The Secret Of Giving: A Christmas Collection and both are rather short albums. 20th Century Masters: Christmas Collection - The Best Of Reba culls from those two albums and the collection is uninspired for two reasons: 1. There is nothing original on this album and 2. Both of her prior Christmas albums could have fit on a single c.d. Instead of being The Best Of Reba for Christmas music, 20th Century Masters could have given listeners a real value (and helped save some space on the shelf) by providing a single, 79 minute c.d. of all of Reba McEntire's Christmas music (at least up to that time).

As it is, 20th Century Masters: Christmas Collection - The Best Of Reba has a dozen songs occupying 40:31 on a single c.d. and it is utterly unremarkable in every way I am able to conceive. The song selections are unimpressive in an obvious sort of way (I swear, every female performer who does a Christmas album does "Silent Night" and "I'll Be Home For Christmas") and none are original to express either unique Christmas sentiments or a truly "Country" sense of Christmas or the music in that genre. Like virtually every Reba McEntire album, McEntire was not involved in the writing, instrumental accompaniment or engineering of the songs on this album. She is credited as a co-producer because some of the songs from her second were co-produced by her. Largely, though, this is a very average Christmas compilation, which is made all the more mediocre by the fact that it does not include all of Reba's Christmas music.

Actually, 20th Century Masters: Christmas Collection - The Best Of Reba calls back more to Reba McEntire's Gospel roots and the collection is more Gospel-pop than it is Country-pop in the delivery. While some of the songs employ violins and the steel guitar as accompaniment, most of the songs feature a more traditional string section for backing McEntire. The album is melodic violins (not so much being used as fiddles), pianos and very limited percussion. The intent in the instrumentation is clearly to back Reba McEntire's vocals without smothering them or in any way overwhelming her voice. In this way, the instrumental accompaniment works well. But even there, the album is a bit bland. The musical backing sounds generic enough that this is essentially elevator music backing McEntire's vocals. The muted quality to the instrumental accompaniment makes the entire album mellow in a warm, but monotonous, way. In other words, those looking for something truly energetic or interesting in the instrumental accompaniment are unlikely to find it here.

That said, what the listener will find is the album has striking vocals and here Reba McEntire performs just as the listener hopes she would. What is most striking about McEntire's vocals on 20th Century Masters: Christmas Collection - The Best Of Reba is that in employing McEntire's vocals, the 20th Century Masters capture one of the most striking female vocalists of our time, if for no other reason than her register. While Ella Fitzgerald could bounce through virtually every register and Tori Amos might have a pretty flawless soprano voice, there are very few performers working in the alto register. What this means is that, instead of yet another high-pitched version of "O Holy Night" that shakes the tinsel on the tree and cracks the frost off the window, Reba McEntire presents a lower pitched version of the song. What this does is give the song new life with a different emotional resonance and that is something this collection captures quite well.

Instead of having a dozen songs that are chirpy and cherubic or melodramatically soaring in the upper registers, Reba McEntire breathes new life into songs like "White Christmas" and "The Christmas Song" by performing them lower, which makes them sound more thoughtful and like hymns than the traditional poppy versions of the songs. This is not to say the album is devoid of upbeat songs. McEntire allows a bit of Country drawl in on her vocalizations on "I Saw Mama Kissing Santa Claus" and that is likely to satisfy her Country base (though, to be honest, the base for Country music seems to appreciate the Gospel side of Christmas albums, especially fans of classic Country, which Reba McEntire started in).

Thematically, Christmas is a unifying theme on the album and lyrically the songs reflect just that. There are a few songs that are less well-known than the traditional Christmas carols, but McEntire makes them sound timeless with her soulful deliveries of the lines penned for her. In fact, she owns "The Secret Of Giving" the way she sings the lines "If you offer the best part of yourself / Even when you don't have anything else / Honest and true / It'll come back to you / Love comes back to you / If there's just one secret to living / Whoever you are / It's learning the meaning of giving / With an open heart." McEntire selected new songs that have generally good lyrics and they all present a sense of meaning and value for the season that the audience is likely to enjoy.

But the moment fans learn that both of McEntire's Christmas albums could fit on a single disc is the moment 20th Century Masters: Christmas Collection - The Best Of Reba loses its overall value. Despite having decent vocals, the album is very mediocre and short and fans who want only one Reba McEntire Christmas album can do pretty much as well by selecting either of the two albums these songs are culled from and completists are going to have to buy both of those albums anyway (until McEntire comes out with an ultimate Christmas album, possibly in 2010 or 2011?) in order to get all of the songs. They don't need this one because there is nothing original here.

The best song is "The Secret Of Giving" and I was most unimpressed by "Up On The Housetop."

For other albums by Country artists or strong female voices, please check out my reviews of:
20 Great Years – Kenny Rogers
Little Bit Of Everything – Billy Currington
Tuesday Night Music Club – Sheryl Crow

4/10

For other music reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2010 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.


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Delicious And Vague: Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Belly Jelly Beans Are Strangely Satisfying.

Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Belly Jelly Beans - 10 lbs bulk
Click to buy directly from Jelly Belly!

The Good: Intriguing flavor, Nothing bad in them.
The Bad: Not the strongest flavor
The Basics: Delicious, if a bit esoteric, Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Bellys taste fruity and delicious, bean after bean!


The nice thing about being a reviewer of all sorts of things is that my wife knows she can pretty much surprise me with anything and I'll always be able to enjoy reviewing it, if nothing else. My wife, however, has an amazing track record with getting me gifts that I enjoy. So, knowing that I am rapidly exhausting the boxes of Jelly Belly jelly beans that I have been enjoying and reviewing, when she brought me back a case of Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Bellys, she knew I would be quite thrilled. And I am. One of the advantages of having a vague flavor like "mixed berry" is that the flavor has very little specifics to live up to. Still, this is an amazing fruit flavor of Jelly Belly jelly beans.

For those who might never have had Jelly Belly jelly beans, these are easily the best jelly beans on the planet, packing a lot of flavor into a very small size. Unlike most jelly beans which are only vaguely flavored and are more based on colors, Jelly Belly jelly beans have a wide variety of actual flavors, like the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Harry Potter Assortment, Peach Bellini, Green Apple or their signature flavor Buttered Popcorn.

Who needs up to ten pounds of Mixed Berry Smoothie flavored Jelly Bellys? Anyone who does not like fruit, but would prefer to drink their fruit, but then would even rather have their fruit in candy form without actually having the nutritional benefits of fruit might like pounds and pounds of Mixed Berry Smoothie. Anyone who might like Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Belly jelly beans will likely find that buying by the pound is a good way to get it, but there is a ten pound package that is a bit more economically and environmentally responsible.

Basics

Mixed Berry Smoothie is a flavor of Jelly Belly jelly beans from the Smoothie line of Jelly Bellys which is supposed to be a smoother bean. Jelly Belly jelly beans are approximately one half inch long by one quarter inch wide and they are roughly bean-shaped. These little candies are marketed to taste fruity and they do.

Mixed Berry Smoothie flavored Jelly Bellys are available in a wide array of quantities, but they are frequently sold by the pound. The one to three pound packages tend to be pretty affordable for candy, if a bit expensive for jelly beans.

Mixed Berry Smoothie flavored Jelly Bellys are easy to recognize. The Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Belly jelly beans are purple with dark purple splotches. They look unlike any Jelly Belly, within the Smoothie Assortment or any of the other Jelly Belly assortments.

Ease Of Preparation

These are jelly beans, not making a fruit smoothie, preparing them is as easy as opening the bag and popping one (or a handful) into your mouth. In the case of the one to three pound bags, one might want to put them in a candy dish of some form as opposed to risking spilling them each time one goes into the bag.

Taste

Mixed Berry Smoothie is a good Jelly Belly jelly bean. The beans do not have any sort of strong bouquet, so much of their taste comes from the actual taste, not the scent. There is a faintly fruity aroma when one opens the bag, but that fades pretty quickly.

As for the flavor, this is a tough to define one, because it does taste like berries, in a very generic fruity way. As well, there is a milky taste to them, a very smooth flavor which minimizes the usual sour that accompanies berries. As a result, this tastes like grape juice cut with milk. These do not taste like blueberry or raspberry alone, but they do taste fruity and like berries, as opposed to citrus. They have a milk-smooth aftertaste as well, which helps the flavor stay on the tongue.

Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Bellys do not fade in their flavor no matter how many one eats, but because of the milky flavor to them, they do have something of a sugary taste that is hard to want to eat in vast quantities.

Nutrition

Again, these are jelly beans, so one has to recall that they are based on something that is not exactly nutritiously rich. They are not a legitimate source of nutrition. These are a snack food, a dessert, and are in no way an adequate substitute for a real meal. A serving is listed at thirty-five beans, with each Jelly Belly jelly bean having approximately four calories. This means that in a single serving, there are 140 calories, which is 12% of your daily recommended intake.

The thing is, Jelly Belly jelly beans are not as bad as they could be in the nutrition area. They have no fat and no protein, but for those who have ever dated a Vegan, these are Vegan compliant because they contain no gelatin! They have only one percent of the daily sodium with 15 mg and they are gluten free! The main ingredients are sugar, corn syrup and modified food starch, so it's not like this is an all-natural food, but they could be far, far worse.

Storage/Clean-up

Jelly Belly jelly beans have a shelf life of approximately one year and I have yet to run across a stale Jelly Belly (though that could have something to do with a package never surviving a year around me . . .). They remain freshest when they are kept in an airtight container (the bag is sufficient if it is kept closed) and they ought to be kept in a lukewarm environment. Storing them in hot places is likely to make the beans stick together and be gross. Kept in a cool, dry place, the beans retain their flavor perfectly.

As for cleanup, unless one allows the Jelly Belly to get hot to the point that the waxy coating on the bean melts, the dyes on these do not bleed or denature, so there is usually no cleanup necessary, not even washing one's hands after eating them (always wash your hands before eating Jelly Bellys, it's just polite to the beans that way!). I've never had Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Bellys stain anything.

Overall

Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Bellys are appropriately vague in their flavor, but are still delicious enough to enthusiastically recommend. Those looking for a smoother jelly bean than the sharp fruit flavored beans, will find this is a good choice, even if it does not have the best-defined flavor.


For other Jelly Belly flavors reviewed by me, please check out:
Cinnamon
Raspberry
Pomegranate Cosmo

8.5/10

For other food and drink reviews, including a ton more Jelly Belly reviews, please be sure to visit my index page for a complete listing by clicking here!

© 2010, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.



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Mixed Berry Smoothie Jelly Belly Jelly Beans - 10 lbs bulk Click to buy directly from Candy.com!

A Better Second Season To Rome Still Yields A Historic Soap Opera.

The Good: Interesting character development, Generally good acting, Decent effects
The Bad: Plots are somewhat predictable and character interactions are very soap operatic, Rape as entertainment
The Basics: Rome returns to DVD with its final season, a bloodbath that chronicles the rise of Octavian to power set against the friendship of Vorenus and Pullo.


HBO has a reputation for being both daring and entertaining. Indeed, the advantage of the pay-for-programming station is probably in its original programming now far more than in its movies and as a result, at some point one suspects that the cable network will simply become a production house for series' that are produced with the boxed set DVDs in mind. Imagine shows like Carnivale being uninhibited by such things as ratings and being produced with the full seven seasons because the DVD sales were justifying it. Or digital downloads; either way the original programming seems to be the niche that HBO is truly attempting to dominate with.

In such circumstances, one wonders if there would have been more than two seasons of Rome, the historical drama/soap opera set in the turbulent period of Rome's history when some of its most recognizable personas were alive and vying for power. Following on the heels of season one and the events of that season (which are impossible to not mention and do an actual review, so those wanting Roman history and season one to be a complete and pleasant surprise, now's the time to go bake cookies or do something else), Rome - The Complete Second Season arrives on DVD and presents the story of Rome following the assassination of Julius Caesar. In order to get the most out of this season, it is pretty much essential to watch Rome - The Complete First Season (click here for my review!), though on DVD each episode features a pretty self-explanatory "Previously On" review clip for those starting with this season.

With Caesar dead, his will becomes a point of controversy when his nephew Octavian is declared to be - in effect - Caesar's son and heir and that the citizens of Rome are all to be given a portion of Caesar's massive fortune. Rome soon splits into three factions: those allied with Octavian who manages to initially outmaneuver Mark Antony for a position as Rome's proconsul, Mark Antony who is offended by the rise of Octavian and spurred on by his lover Atia, and Brutus, who is forced to flee Rome with his allies when Octavian declares Caesar's death a murder and the conspirators who killed him enemies of the state.

Allied with young Octavian is Titus Pullo, the warrior who is now settling into domestic life and is working hard to aid his heartbroken friend Lucius Vorenus. Vorenus, crushed over the suicide of his wife, curses his children and they are kidnaped into slavery, which encourages Vorenus to ally himself with the dark gods and ultimately to allow his bond to Antony to pull him reluctantly away from the path of reason and stability for the Republic that he knows is right. Pullo and Vorenus remain most loyal to one another as those who manipulate and control them push and pull them in other directions, often where they are only able to rely on one another.

Rome - The Complete Second Season is better than the first season in many respects, most notably that there is much less of a soap operatic feeling to the series. Instead of quick, implausible reversals that set up many different plot lines, the period of civil conflict between the three dominant powers in Rome becomes more of a political drama than a pure soap opera. This season is less preoccupied with who is having sex with whom and the use of that to manipulate and turn the plots quickly.

Instead, this season is preoccupied with the arranged marriages and the political influence behind them. So, while Octavian's lieutenant Agrippa clearly loves his sister, Octavia, Octavian uses her to seal the bond between him and Mark Antony. The marriage is a sham as Antony and Octavia are almost immediately having sex with their lovers, Atia and Agrippa, respectfully. Atia's political machinations are motivated still by personal vengeance, but she finds ways to justify it in the name of politics, especially when it comes to her nemesis Servilia.

The series is still jam packed with sex and violence, so those looking for entertainment with that will get a kick out of the sex, nudity, blood and sometimes very graphic (and impressive) on-screen murders that occur. Notable among these is the demise of Cicero, whose departure is actually a pretty impressive effect. As the politics and machinations develop, the two dominant powers, Octavian and Antony, make and break their alliances and the loyalty of Pullo and Vorenus - which at times quite literally transcends the battle lines - becomes a good foil to the carnage among the other characters.

The problematic aspect of all of this comes with the line that is crossed with Rome treating violations as a form of entertainment. Back to back, Rome presents episodes where rape is used as a form of torture or punishment, but it is treated within the context of the series as something that the viewer is expected to be entertained by and that's just sick. When Vorenus is betrayed by one of the thug captains of the Collegium, his men rape his adversary and when Servilia's assassination attempt on Atia goes wrong, Atia has her captured, tortured and violated graphically enough to be disgusting and anything but entertainment. This is not to say that torture cannot be presented in a way that is enlightening or has a message as Star Trek: The Next Generation did with "Chain Of Command, Part II." But Rome uses the most vile instances of rape as entertainment in a way that is more like the argument I made against Apocalypto; that is that watching and finding any entertainment value in such depravities makes us - the viewer - into the new Rome and it debases us. Given the effect on Servilia, there is no genuinely justifiable reason to have what happens occur on screen; viewers would have gotten it without.

In order to understand Rome - The Complete Second Season better, it helps to understand the principle characters in the large cast. The heroes and villains in this season include:

Lucius Vorenus - Traumatized by the loss of his wife, he becomes even more moody and withdrawn. When his children are killed, he goes into mourning and turns to darkness, until Pullo discovers they are alive. Though allied to Antony and his losing army, Vorenus ducks out to rescue his children only to discover that they pretty much hate him. Vorenus is forced, by his bond to Antony, to remain at the leader's side, though he seems quite able and willing to look out for Pullo's personal needs even as distance tears them apart,

Titus Pullo - Married to his love, Eirene, after aiding Vorenus in coming out of his slump, Pullo remains true to his protege Octavian, who relies on his counsel some. Pullo prepares to become a father, though his relations with his slave, Gaia, cause his life to spiral out of control and into tragedy as well,

Octavian - Declared the legal heir to Caesar, he quickly maneuvers to save his life and he raises an army when Antony refuses to release the funds Caesar willed him. Returning to Rome older and wiser, Octavian is quickly names Proconsul and he works to eliminate all of his enemies, which forces him to square off with Antony, who is being manipulated by others,

Mark Antony - Fleeing Rome after Cicero declares him a fraud and a tyrant to the Senate, he raises an army and prepares to eliminate Octavian and then Brutus, only to find himself still easy to manipulate by Atia. When Antony is granted the western realms of the Roman Republic, he returns to Egypt, where he finds himself intrigued by Cleopatra instead of the wife he left back in Rome,

Atia - Almost entirely outmaneuvered by her son, she finds her lover Antony estranged from her and her most loyal torturers, like Timon, unwilling to carry out her brutal wishes any longer. She is crushed by Antony's failure to come back for her, though on some level she discovers that Octavian is the exact man she built him to be,

Servilia - Brutus's mother, she and Atia are blood enemies. Furious over Brutus being driven out by Octavian's decree, Servilia declares war on Atia, which backfires on her in the worst possible way,

Cicero - In the wake of the Senate's assassination of Caesar, he finds himself ready to legislate and refuses to sit still while Antony seizes control. After helping to install Octavian as proconsul, he finds he has been outmaneuvered and he flees to his villa,

Brutus - Plagued by guilt over his part in Caesar's assassination, he flees with others involved when Octavian and the Senate declare them enemies of the state,

and Cleopatra - As Antony comes to power in her realm, her initial coldness to him quickly dissipates for passion and the two begin a romance where she becomes determined to keep dominion over Egypt, at any cost.

The characters are genuinely interesting in this season and Pullo, Vorenus and Octavian especially have compelling character arcs wherein they grow and change over the course of the episodes.

The acting in this season is actually of a consistently high caliber, as well. Of note, it is wonderful to see Zuleikha Robinson - of The Lone Gunmen - getting the juicy role of Gaia. She is able to play cunning and strong quite well and it is more than just the costume differences that differentiate her from her character of Yves on that show. Here she is expressive with a minimal of lines and it is easy to feel empathetic for her character when her relationship with Vorenus is brief, given the performance Robinson has given to insinuate her character's feelings for him.

Octavian is played by both Max Pirkis and Simon Woods in the course of the season as time lapses and an older Octavian is needed. Woods portrays him with a consistent sense of personality and ability as his predecessor. The result is the feeling that the character simply grew up as opposed to being recast.

Much of the season hinges on the performances of Kevin McKidd and Ray Stevenson, who play Vorenus and Pullo, respectively. McKidd pretty much nailed the quiet, taciturn and somewhat dark character from the very beginning. His portrayal even in some of his earliest scenes in the first season quickly established Vorenus as a darker, more melancholy character and "Season Two" finds him not so much building on that as repeating it and defining is, mastering it.

Stevenson makes up for McKidd's unflinching consistency with his more varied performance of Pullo. Stevenson is able to soften Pullo and present more emotional range as Pullo settles into being a husband and potential father. As Pullo develops from a warrior into a common citizen, Stevenson is given a chance to alter his solid body language and soften it with a performance that presents a man who is more flexible and genuinely loving and Stevenson does that quite well.

Polly Walker, who dominated the first season, is given far less to do as Atia, yet the penultimate scene of the finale gives her a moment to silently emote which is quite incredible. Watching her face and eyes, one can almost hear Servilia's curse ringing through Atia's mind based solely on Walker's performance!

On DVD, Rome - The Complete Second Season looks and sounds good. Each episode is packed with a pop-up text commentary option that points out the historical accuracy (and inaccuracies) of Rome. It is intriguing and makes for interesting viewing. Sadly, the commentary tracks are hardly as interesting. Especially the tracks for the two final episodes, wherein the James Purfoy (Antony) does not seem to have much to say about the episode and producer and historical consultant Bruno Heller and Jonathan Stamp allow much of the commentary track to be filled with dead air. The featurettes on Antony and Cleopatra, Octavian's rise to power, the class differences in Rome and the behind-the-scenes featurette are interesting and fans will get something out of them.

And while the historical drama is good, it's not the great series many want it to be. It lacks a spark that truly sets it apart as phenomenal television. Instead, it is good but seems to underperform based on the potential. For sure the costumes are rich and the level of sex and violence (outside the combination of the two!) is entertaining, but there's no flair to it that makes it something as great and enduring as some other series' that HBO has created.

But it is a better season than the first and it is entertaining, at the very least. If one wants entertainment from the B.C. era, this boxed set can deliver on that. But one wonders how much mileage one is liable to get out of these discs. For me, once was enough and rewatching the episodes with the commentary and/or "All Roads Lead To Rome" text commentary did not enhance the first impression.

For other HBO works, please check out my reviews of:
True Blood Season 1
Six Feet Under
Carnivale

6.5/10

For other television set reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2010, 2008 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.



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Ode To My New Dryer: Frigidaire GLER331A Electric Dryer

The Good: It dries clothes without excessively raising the electric bill
The Bad: Small clothes get jammed in the edge of the drum
The Basics: Relatively energy efficient, looks good and runs quietly, if only it didn't jam clothes occasionally, the Frigidaire GLER331A would be a perfect dryer for a medium-sized family!


One of the things that has begun to baffle me is the whole Energy Star Certification. There are energy efficient refrigerators, dehumidifiers and clothes washers. There are energy efficient dishwashers as well. But clothes dryers, it seems, are unable to be certified energy efficient, when it seems like they are major energy hogs. My search for a more energy efficient Dryer led me to the Frigidaire GLER331A.

This is a 5.7 cu. ft. dryer that I was originally drawn to because of its capacity (fairly large) and energy efficiency for that size. That is to say, out of all of the dryers I looked at in the 4.5 - 6.0 cubic foot range, this dryer had the best energy efficiency.

Having never installed a clothes dryer before, I had my trepidations when I brought this unit home. I was pleasantly surprised to find that the directions for installing the exhaust tubes (sold separately, at any hardware store) were very well written and easily comprehensible. The only problems I had with installing exhaust ducts to the back were based on my home's construction; the exhaust port on the side of the house was at an irregular height, forcing me to put the dryer up on some bricks. Even there, the directions in the manual were quite handy; they included full details for leveling the unit by unscrewing the feet. This has worked quite well and now, after fifty loads of clothes, the unit has never had any problems with movement.

The other problem with the exhaust port (I used aluminum ductwork to avoid problems with tubes bunching up) was with the end of the dryer. The dryer's exhaust pipe is scalloped to indicate it belongs inside the pipe. It's a male lead into a female exhaust pipe fitting. The problem is that the diameter of the exhaust pipe is the identical size to a female end of an exhaust pipe fitting. In short, the end that is supposed to fit snugly into the exhaust port pipe is almost impossible to fit. This has, on two occasions, led my exhaust port pipe to become detached from the dryer's exhaust pipe. The unit is problematically designed in this regard as there is no way to tape the dryer's exhaust pipe to the duct pipe because the pipe in the dryer does not stick out past the back wall of the dryer.

Outside installing ducts - which, if you already have a dryer you won't need to worry about - this unit is basically a plug in and go type machine. It is not like a gas dryer (like the Whirlpool WGD5200 dryer reviewed here!). One of the very convenient aspects of the machine is its easy to use controls. There are three settings for heat (high, medium and low - no silly "air dry" setting without any heat) and one control dial. The control dial has three settings as well: Drying for Colors, Drying for Whites and timed dry. All three settings work fine. Indeed, leaving the dryer to do its own thing as far as the drying settings seems to work perfectly. Whenever I have left the machine on either "Automatic Colors" or "Automatic Whites," the clothes come out perfectly dry and ready to wear.

With one notable exception. Every two to three loads, there is what I call a jam. The dryer works, like most dryers, by rotating a drum around while air is passing through the machine. In order to keep the clothes from simply remaining on the bottom during the rotations, there are fins inside the drum. The problem with the fins is that they do not come close to the front and back of the dryer. Thus, there is a gap between the drum fins and the door that one opens to access the dryer and the back wall. This gap is problematic, however, as it appears to be slightly larger than the gap in most dryers (obviously, some gap is necessary or else the fins would be rubbing against the front and back of the dryer), and clothes are constantly getting wedged in there. As the dryer does its usual tumbling, on every other or every third load, I find some garment (usually a t-shirt or pair of underwear or oversized sock) wedged between the fin and a side of the washer. Invariably, this garment is still wet, but undamaged. I do not know the effect these wedged garments have on the dryer and only time will tell. To reiterate, though, I know how to properly load a dryer and I have properly loaded it each time and still this keeps happening. I believe it to be a design flaw.

But other than that, it's hard to complain about this machine. It runs very quietly, gets clothes dry and has yet to eat any of my socks. With its easy to clean lint trap and simple controls and relatively easy installation, this is an ideal dryer for a small to mid-sized family.

For other Frigidaire product reviews, please visit my reviews of:
Frigidaire FDB750RC Stainless Steel Dishwasher
Frigidaire FRT21HS6JS 20.5 cu. ft. Refigerator/Freezer
Frigidaire FEF336EC Electric Range
Frigidaire FFC07C3A Chest Freezer

7/10

For other appliance reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2010, 2005 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.


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Writers Of Yore, Movies Of Today: Wonder Boys Is A Good Film!

The Good: Funny, Witty, Insightful, Well-acted, Good script, Intelligent
The Bad: Main protagonist's affect, Cliche in points
The Basics: Excellent acting, interesting characters, and a reasonably good plot contribute to an all around wonderful film with Wonderboys!


Lately, I've found myself enjoying movies that involved people creating things. I have a real love, for example, of movies about writers, politicians and creative people. While some of the best of them are very new, like The Social Network (click here for that review!), others are a bit older, like Gods And Monsters (click here for my review!). One of the other ones I stumbled upon a few years ago was a movie less about creation and more the inability to. That movie was Wonderboys and it was surprisingly good.

Grady Tripp is a man with a problem. Fortunately, it's not a terribly difficult problem for the viewer to diagnose; Grady is a writer whose first and last novel was a critical success seven years before and no one has seen his second novel. We see Grady typing or considering the novel and each time, he feints.

Grady is surrounded by eccentrics in his midlife crisis, which is the weekend of the local bookfest. Grady has been left by his wife that very morning, this time for good. Apparently, this is a regular habit, or so his mistress, the chancellor of the college where Grady works, says. Sara, despite her love for Grady, is still in love with her pompous husband and spends the weekend debating which man is better for her. Fortunately, at no time does she threaten either of the men in her life's job.

Unfortunately, the same may not be said for Grady. While at a party at Chancellor/mistress Sara's house, Grady encourages his deeply introverted student, James Leer, to express himself. Unfortunately, the pep talk results in Grady getting bitten by Sara's husband's dog and James killing it. This is pretty much of the extent of the plot, though there is also intermingled Hannah, Grady's student border who has obvious designs on him, and Terry Crabtree, Grady's editor who is determined to see Grady's second novel. Terry often comes along with Grady and James on their misadventures into the weekend of self-discovery.

Wonderboys succeeds for most of the film, that is, so long as it's exploring the connections between the various characters, it's a winner. It's truly significant and wonderful. As Grady grills James Leer about his past and tries to figure the dour kid out, we, the viewer, are intrigued. It's fun, it's interesting and it's relevant. The people are realistic and intriguing.

Only when the film tries to make conclusions, to resolve itself, does it fail to satisfy. None of the characters rise above their origins in the conclusion.

However, up until that, there is a lot to enjoy. The cast is excellent. The writing is particularly strong, the dialogue is highly realistic. The voiceovers, as Grady narrates the film, are sharp and precise. I'm usually annoyed by voiceovers. I wasn't here.

Michael Douglas is fantastic as Grady, James Leer is expertly played by Toby Maguire. The true scene stealers are Robert Downey Jr. and Frances McDormand. Downey Jr. plays Crabtree with quirky grace and precision. McDormand plays Sara in one of the most interesting and well-acted roles in the film. She is obviously tormented and conflicted and McDormand plays those emotions up perfectly.

I have a beef with the cliche of the writers using drugs and alcohol. That and the ending are the only detractions I could find with the film. So, in short, it's worth seeing. It truly is.

For other films with Michael Douglas, please check out my reviews of:
Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
The Game
Wall Street

8/10

For other film reviews, please visit my index page!

© 2010, 2001 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.


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Peter David's Sinking Into Darkness: I, Q By Peter David And John De Lancie Tanks!

The Good: Occasionally amusing, Moments of character
The Bad: Narrative perspective, Length, Predictable plot
The Basics: Filled with inside-jokes only geeks could appreciate, I, Q is a study of poor writing, utter lack of character development and absent of insight.


I, Q stands as a perfect example - in a long list of similar works - of exactly why actors are actors, novelists are novelists and asking an actor to write a book is like asking a novelist to, say, do your taxes. My point in this is that novel writing is a skill like accounting, car washing, structural engineering, what have you, yet there's an arrogant assumption in U.S. society that ANYONE can sit down and write a book.

Those people are wrong.

I, Q is the Star Trek the Next Generation novel written by John de Lancie and Peter David. Peter David has an established record of writing well (see my review of Imzadi by clicking here!). While he's gotten progressively less inspired in recent years, I, Q may be, in part, blamed on its co-author. John de Lancie is a wonderful actor. He played Q on Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager. He does an amazing job of acting on stage, he's a nice guy and he's usually friendly to the fans of the shows he's been on.

John de Lancie is not an author. Noticeably lacking from I, Q is Peter David's sense of irony, his wit and any deep insight into humanity, the Star Trek universe, and/or circumstances bizarre and their effects on known characters. Mr. de Lancie is a vibrant man; I've seen him on stage, he's interesting and insightful. None of that transferred over into this novel.

Told largely in the first person, I, Q follows the philosophy "There's always someone bigger and badder" and applies it to the Q. The Q? The Q Continuum is a race of omnipotent beings introduced in the very first episode of Star Trek the Next Generation. Q is a trickster god-type. He's mischievous and dangerous, but as the years of Star Trek The Next Generation passed, he became less menacing and more comical. If you like Q on Star Trek The Next Generation, don't bother watching his three appearances on Star Trek Voyager; they completely ruin his character and lessen the impact of his power. Similarly, I, Q does.

While, I suppose, it's a necessary evil of the work having a human write from an omnipotent perspective, but it's far far far too anthropomorphized and Americanized in this story.

I, Q traces Q's search for his son and the mother of his son when they are lost in a Maelstrom (big whirlpool in space) that is destroying the galaxy. To that end, Q enlists the aid of the only two people he's able to save before his powers are dampened: Captain Jean-Luc Picard and Data. Together, they go on a quest and, surprise, find themselves opposed by the Bigger Fish (metaphorically).

Plot-wise, we know how the novel ends from page one: Obviously, they are unable to destroy the Star Trek universe in the novels. Even in that context, this novel is horribly predictable. There are no real surprises in I, Q.

I was somewhat distressed, as well, by the perspective. It's written largely in the first person and it doesn't seem genuine most of the time. While arguably, de Lancie - having played the character for well over a decade - is the closest to Q there is, something is lost in the translation from screen to paper. It's sad. I put length down as a con; while there's not much to like in this novel, it's also dreadfully short, especially for a novel that appeared first in hardcover. I suppose, it ought to be a pro; they didn't stretch out the verbal mash.

Outside an inside-joke filled meeting between our merry band and the Grand Nagus, there wasn't much amusing in the book. It was a waste largely of my time; you can escape the same mistake. The magic is gone.

For other works of Star Trek in print, please check out my reviews of:
Star Trek: Nero
Star Trek Omnibus 1
Assignment: Earth

2.5/10

For other book reviews, please be sure to visit my index page for a current listing of all I have reviewed! That is available by clicking here!

© 2010, 2001 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.


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"Justice" Abandons Itself On Star Trek: The Next Generation!

The Good: Theme, Character, Easy On the Eyes
The Bad: Abandonment of the Theme, Some Acting, Dated
The Basics: A morality play that renounces itself, "Justice" is an often maligned episode that falls as right about average.


The first season of Star Trek The Next Generation, as I've maintained from my first reviews on the subject, is about a group of philosopher explorers whose point is to reveal aspects of the human condition to the viewer. "Justice" is possibly the most blatant example; even the name implies a morality play.

"Justice" tells the story of the planet Rubicon III, home of the Edo (how you get the Edo out of Rubicon, beats me). It appears to be an idyllic world: the people are friendly, running around in skimpy outfits and the sun is shining. Everything goes nicely until young Wesley Crusher falls into a bunch of plants in a restricted area. It seems the penalty for this crime is death. So, threatened with death, the Captain intervenes to try to stop the execution. Unfortunately, the Prime Directive applies and to break that rule is an extreme thing. The Prime Directive states that the Federation will not influence planetary events outside the Federation or of any less advanced planet. In this case, to prevent the execution of Wesley Crusher, Captain Picard would be influencing the whole evolutionary track of the planet. It also doesn't help that God shows up.

I'm not kidding. A giant space station appears, which the people of Rubicon III recognize as god. This severely complicates things, by the fact that Picard promises not to mess around with the Edo.

A lot of people do not like this episode because of the extremity of philosophy in it. It's an obvious attempt to say something. The message is that power and might do not make right and a perfect society seldom is.

The problem is that the episode belabors the philosophy of noninterference and then ends up abandoning it. After all of the time spent on the importance of not affecting other planets, the decision Picard makes is ultimately self defeating.

But in all, this episode has a bad rap. It's fun to watch. Everyone of the Edo is Hollywood beautiful running around in little outfits that barely cover their bodies and that alone makes it easy to watch. Unfortunately, it seems most of the guest stars were chosen more for their physicality than their acting talents as some of the acting is just plain bad. This episode illustrates why most children are not cast on television shows (namely the guest teens).

Wil Wheaton gives a good performance as Wesley Crusher, however, illustrating very consistent characterization for both where he is and where his character will be going.

Most of all, the episode seems hokey. I think Star Trek suffers from an unwarranted prejudice over the '60s special effects when it often tells excellent stories. Similarly "Justice" is so obviously a product of the late 80s that it's difficult to watch now that we have moved beyond it.

Not the worst episode, but it could have been much better had it illustrated some consistency. Accessible to those who are not fans of Star Trek The Next Generation, though I doubt that viewer would ever want to watch another episode of the show.

[Knowing that VHS is essentially a dead medium, it's worth looking into Star Trek: The Next Generation - The Complete First Season on DVD, which is also a better economical choice than buying the VHS. Read my review of the debut season by clicking here!
Thanks!]

5/10

For other Star Trek reviews, please be sure to visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2010, 2008, 2002 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.



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Terrible And Annoying, The Burger King Toy Of Scotty Is An Unsatisfying Toy!

The Good: Looks like Simon Pegg, Talks
The Bad: Annoying bobble-head look, Low playability, Low collectibility, Annoying talking function
The Basics: Annoying, but recognizable, the talking Scotty Burger King toy is oddly collectible, but not worth hunting down.


Sometimes, I find myself at a loss for what passes as interesting or fun within the subculture I am most commonly associated. I am, quite proudly, a geek and a Trekker within the general geek subculture, which is a surprisingly large segment of the geek population. Even so, there are some things that come along that just appall me as a geek and make me wonder what diabolic mind created exploitative capitalism. This thought comes up as I consider the Burger King toy of Scotty because at my recent trek out to Las Vegas for my annual Star Trek convention, I discovered many of my peers within the Trekker geek subculture were head over heels for these ridiculous toys and I felt an uncommon shame for my subculture.

The Scotty Burger King toy is a little talking plastic blob that looks like an animated version of Simon Pegg's version of Scotty and it is gaudy, tacky and in about ten or twenty years, it will be kitsch. But for now, it just seems exploitative of Trekkers and Trekkies and I cringe each time the one my partner got me speaks to me.

Basics

Used to promote the 2009 film Star Trek (click here for my review of the film!), Burger King released a series of small inaction figures that are stable, designed for minimal play and were included in the kid's meals. I suspect that if these toys had not been gobbled up by geeks everywhere in the early weeks of the promotion, there would have been an excessive amount of infanticide in the United States as these annoying toys speak! Each figure, like Scotty, is outfitted with a voice chip which repeats a phrase from the film over and over again.

The Scotty figure is three inches tall, about an inch and a half wide and an inch thick. It is made entirely of hard plastic. The Scotty figure from Burger King is more a caricature of Scotty, much the way Bobblehead toys are; the body is small and the head is huge, so Scotty's head is about two inches of the three inch height! The figure is molded to include a glaring Scotty with two tiny hands and two feet firmly planted and the shirt on Scotty is molded with the textured pattern like the costume in the film. The feet are oversized like the head (Scotty has almost nothing in the way of legs) and as a result, Scotty has a rather low center of balance, making him virtually untippable.

Scotty's head, despite looking ridiculous, looks like Simon Pegg as Scotty as seen in the final scenes of Star Trek. The big eyes, parted hair and general shape resembles Pegg's Scotty enough to make him recognizable. This is all that saves this otherwise abysmal toy from an absolute "avoid it" rating!

Accessories

Scotty comes encased in a small plastic bag with a little flier for the other Burger King Star Trek toys. There are no accessories to speak of because the figure does nothing, save stand and speak. There is, however, a thin plastic tab that needs to be pulled out of Scotty's back in order to allow the toy to speak (this is designed to keep the battery from wearing out in the package), though that is hardly an accessory, either. Given how Scotty's hands are not molded to hold anything, it makes sense that the Scotty Burger King toy does not come with any accessory.

Playability

The Burger King toys, like Scotty, have exceptionally low playability, especially considering that they have no moving parts. These toys are designed to be stuck on tabletops, stand and annoy coworkers with the sound chip. Or enter toddler's mouths, I'm not exactly sure as to the point of this little premium. Scotty is able to stand and look somewhat annoyed or concerned, but otherwise, he does nothing until one presses the button on his back.

On the back of Scotty's red shirt is a small button. When depressed, Simon Pegg's voice comes out a small speaker in the back of Scotty's head! The Scotty Burger King toy repeats the line "I'm giving her all I've got, Captain!" each time the button is depressed. The toy is loud enough that is may be heard in a bedroom-sized room clearly and the voice chip clearly uses dialogue from the actual film. Because it only says the one phrase, Scotty's novelty wears thin quite quickly. Between my wife and I, we've hit the button on Scotty at least a hundred times (yeah, it never gets old . . . grumble!) and the battery has shown no sign of fading or degrading, which means Scotty will be around to annoy us for quite some time (the toy looks like it may be unscrewed and split in half to replace the battery should it die and my partner want to have Scotty annoying us longer).

Collectibility

Sadly, it seems I am in the minority of my subculture in loathing the Scotty Burger King toy as my peers seem to be enthusiastic to have new swag to collect. Originally given free in Burger King Kids meals, the Scotty toy now is available on the secondary market in the five dollar range. That seems to be the price these sort of toys top out at for the first decade (mint in package, of course) and I suspect within a year they will be unloaded in the dollar range loose. This is the sort of thing that, if kept entirely mint, is likely to appreciate in value over the long term as it will become landfill fodder in the nearterm. So, for those who have these and are wondering what to do with them, you might want to keep is safe and clean somewhere for the grandkids. It won't amass a fortune, but it'll probably make geeks of the future happy (or annoyed).

Overview

The Scotty Burger King toy is a passable likeness of Simon Pegg and the voice chip that utters a line from the film makes it mildly amusing and mostly annoying. While this isn't for me, I can see that some might not loathe them . . . wait until about the hundredth time you hear "I'm giving her all I've got, Captain!" and you'll understand.

For other Star Trek swag, please check out my reviews of:
Corgi Unlimited Klingon Bird-Of-Prey
Swashbuckling Sulu and Chekov Minimates
Funko Spock Wacky Wobbler

2/10

For other toy reviews, please be sure to visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2010, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.



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An Interesting Historical Document, Tina Live In Europe Is Hardly An Essential Album Set.

The Good: Some great songs, Some interesting interpretations of them, The few tracks unique to this collection.
The Bad: Nothing overwhelmingly different, Some of the "live" conceits are annoying.
The Basics: An interesting set, Tina Turner's Live In Europe gets a soft recommend based more on the astonishing number of cool covers than from the new renditions of previously-released songs.


For those who do not follow my music reviews, the albums that tend to have the hardest time standing up to my scrutiny (outside of holiday albums) are live albums. Nine times out of ten*, the listener is likely to get more out of being at a concert than they are out of a live album and because almost every live album or live album set seeks to "prove" the album is live by including sounds from the crowd the performance was recorded at, the replayability usually suffers. So, it speaks well to both Tina Turner and Tina Live In Europe that I ultimately recommend the two-disc set.

Riding high on the success of her first two big solo albums, Tina Turner took herself and her bandmates on the road (and air) throughout Europe and Israel to perform. In 1988, after the wildly successful tour came to a conclusion, Turner released the two-disc set Tina Live In Europe. The mix is a surprisingly good one, saved mostly by the second disc which features rare duets and cover songs which Turner did not perform studio versions of on any other albums. So, while the first disc is largely Turner's recognizable '80s hits like "Private Dancer," "What's Love Got To Do With It," "We Don't Need Another Hero (Thunderdome)," and "What You Get Is What You See," the second disc has some real jewels. After a month of reviewing the works of Wilson Pickett, it was a huge treat for me to hear Turner cover songs by and made famous by Pickett, like "Land Of 1,000 Dances" and "In The Midnight Hour." The truth is, she presents "Land Of 1,000 Dances" with an almost surprising lack of soul and the song comes out as a silly pop number instead of anything truly funky.

With twenty-eight songs (fourteen per disc) occupying 66:44 (disc 1) and 60:24 (disc 2) on two c.d.s,
Tina Live In Europe is basically Tina Turner without overbearing production elements. For those who might have doubted, Tina Turner can still sing and perform just fine without the massive 1980s production values! Tina Turner does what she does on so many of her albums, she performs the lead vocals. That is all. She does not play any musical instruments and she was not involved with the production of the album. Even so, it is Tina Turner clearly dominates the album with her voice.

The thing is, like most "live" albums, Tina Live In Europe suffers on audio for the same things that probably make going to one of Turner's concerts so amazing in person. Take, for example, her rendition of "What's Love Got To Do With It." After thanking her audience for making it a #1 hit, she performs it, then goads the girls, women and then men in the audience to repeat the refrain in various ways. It sounds cool the first time, but the more one replays the album, the more tedious it is to listen to. As per my usual, I've listened to Tina Live In Europe eight times now and I dread the back half of "What's Love Got To Do With It" because of that. Similarly, on "Better Be Good To Me," Turner's accompanying vocalist goes around the amphitheater the recording was made at trying to get more participation from various corners and it becomes subsequently more tedious with each listen.

For those who may not have heard much from Tina Turner, Tina Turner's music is very traditional pop-rock music and for Tina Live In Europe, her music is guitar and keyboard dominated with pretty heavy percussion. Songs like "Let's Stay Together" on this album lack the more brazen brass section the studio versions of the songs are known for. As a result, Tina Live In Europe may not be the best example for some listeners of what Tina Turner's music actually sounds like, as it is more stark and stripped down. Despite being less produced, Turner still rocks on songs like "Show Some Respect" and "River Deep, Mountain High." Much of the album still manages to sound big and brazen and energetic in ways that many musical artists are not able to pull off effectively.

Vocally, Tina Turner has an impressive voice which illustrates its phenomenal range exceptionally well on this set. She is soulful and slow on songs like "A Change Is Gonna Come" and energetic and vocally raunchy on "Addicted To Love." She has an impressive range and on "Tina Live In Europe," Turner illustrates that. "A Change Is Gonna Come" illustrates Turner's exceptional lung capacity and how with her voice she has the power to melt hearts and diamonds. Her voice is liquid soul when she wants it to be and on this album, she clearly wanted it to at points.

Ultimately, what made me recommend this album - because her rendition of "In The Midnight Hour" was heartbreakingly bad - was the duets on the second disc. Tina Turner performed with Robert Gray ("634-5789"), Eric Clapton ("Tearing Us Apart"), David Bowie ("Tonight," "Let's Dance"), and Bryan Adams ("It's Only Love"). Hearing these duets is a treat for anyone who likes the works of Tina Turner or any of those individual performers/artists. My partner, who loves Bowie, was thrilled to hear alternate renditions of "Let's Dance" and "Tonight" and the give and take between Turner and her guest vocalists is exceptional. Turner proves herself a classy lady by being able to give each guest vocalist their space to perform and she makes the songs work quite well as a result.

But the rest of the album truly does become problematic due to the usual conceits associated with "live" albums. The crowd noises are annoying and while the vocals are wonderful, Turner's accompaniment ranges from intrusive (the drums and backing vocals on "River Deep, Mountain High") to unpleasantly different from the original ("I Can't Stand The Rain"). That said, the quality of the rest is enough to enthusiastically recommend it.

The best songs are "Typical Male" (Disc 1) and "Tonight" (Disc 2), the low points are the unmemorable "Back Where You Started" (Disc 1) and the troublingly amelodic "In The Midnight Hour" (Disc 2, and you can bet I never thought I would write that!).

For other works by Tina Turner, please check out my reviews of:
What You Hear Is What You Get: Live At Carnegie Hall - Ike & Tina Turner
The Best Of Ike And Tina Turner – Ike & Tina Turner
The Very Best Of Ike & Tina Turner - Ike and Tina Turner
Private Dancer
Foreign Affair
Simply The Best
What's Love Got To Do With It? Soundtrack
Wildest Dreams
Twenty Four Seven
All The Best (2-disc version)
Tina! Her Greatest Hits

* The tenth time I reserve for performances where the concert is so loud or poorly engineered that the listener can hardly hear and/or cannot even pick out the recognizable songs because of how the levels are being mixed, like that Matchbox Twenty concert I once went to . . .

5.5/10

For other album reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here for an organized listing!

© 2010 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.



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