Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Reviews Of Things That Are What They Are, Vol. 1 - Whoppers Malted Milk Balls!

The Good: Taste good
The Bad: No nutritional value
The Basics: Hershey's Whoppers Malted Milk balls are wonderful and a package of them goes quickly because it is a delightful chocolatey and sugary snack.

As a reviewer and a novelist, there are many tools I rely upon, especially in terms of literary techniques. The power of description is often enhanced through the use of analogy. Analogies, comparisons, allusions, these tools allow the sophisticated writer to make new experiences relate to common occurrences. This becomes a problem, I am discovering, when one is evaluating something that defines a product. In other words, it becomes a real challenge to review something when the product is the trendsetter as opposed to the common product that is like every other one of its kind.

I write this as I break open a pack of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls, one of Hershey's many candies that defines itself. After all, how do we describe a malted milk ball to those who have never had one? How do we convince another that this candy is delicious enough to try and it is worthwhile to spend money on?

Well, it is . . .


Whoppers Malted Milk balls are half-inch spheroids made of chocolate and semisolid malted milk filling. Whoppers come in a 7 oz. bag that opens awkwardly at the top. According to the nutrition facts, a serving of Whoppers Malted Milk Balls is 12 milk balls and there are approximately five servings per container. In my 7 oz. bag, I found exactly 60 malted milk balls! I do not know how consistent that is as I only bothered to count from one bag in my entire life, the bag for this review!

For those who have never had a malted milk ball before, malted milk balls are a firm sugary sphere that is coated in chocolate. Moisture - or saliva - dissolves the ball within the coating, so many people who savor malted milk balls either let the coating melt away in their mouth and let the malted milk center dissolve without chewing.

The coating of the Whoppers Malted Milk ball is a slightly-waxy soft milk chocolate. The coating is strong enough to prevent the candy from getting crushed and soft enough to melt easily in the mouth. This is most like the chocolate found on chocolate-covered raisins. The chocolate is a little closer to Hershey's quality milk chocolate, as opposed to the mass-produced waxy chocolate one finds in chocolate around the holidays when production is stepped up. As a result, the chocolate-covered raisin analogy works in general, but this chocolate is a little softer than that type chocolate usually is.

Ease Of Preparation

Well, it's candy so preparation is pretty much limited to opening the bag and popping candy into one's mouth. Do not try to swallow all of the Whoppers Malted Milk balls whole and you'll be fine!


First, Whoppers Malted Milk Balls have virtually no smell, so there is no impression made when opening the bag for the first time.

Popping one in my mouth, the taste of Hershey's milk chocolate begins as the dominant flavor. This has the more generic Hershey's chocolate flavor as opposed to the more firm and chocolatey flavor of a Hershey's chocolate bar. The soft chocolate tastes like a typical milk chocolate. It does not light the tastebuds of a chocolate fan on fire, especially those who have a love for darker chocolate, like me. The malted milk ball's milk chocolate coating is simple and somewhat bland. It tastes sweet and mildly chocolatey.

As for the center, here's where we run into the problem. Malted milk balls taste like . . . malted milk balls. This is a candy that defines itself. Malted milk balls are grainy, sugary latticeworks that form a semisolid sphere that dissolves in fluid. The taste of malted milk is sugary and vaguely chocolate, like a powdered hot cocoa. Actually, that is pretty much the ideal way to describe malted milk: if one were to make a candy where they filled a center of a chocolate ball with hot cocoa powder, they would get this candy.

They are delicious and simple and worth trying!


Well, Whoppers Malted Milk balls are candy, so one ought not to be living off it. The Whoppers Malted Milk balls are made primarily of sugar, whey, partially hydrogenated palm kernel oil and corn syrup. After weeks of reviewing all natural teas, it's somewhat disconcerting to review these; I can't pronounce at least one of the ingredients and I have no idea the process by which these candies are produced. There are enough ingredients that are mysteries to me that I ought to not be surprised that there is no expiration date on my bag (there is what appears to be a batch number). I would assume the shelf life of these - under proper conditions - to be in the range of years.

Whoppers Malted Milk balls have 190 calories per serving, 70 of which are from fat and I think it's unrealistic to believe that most people eating these are going to vigilantly keep to only 12 of them! The 8 grams of fat represent 12% of the recommended daily value of fat and that's 35% of the daily recommended saturated fat. Wow, reading the ingredients sure sucks the fun out of this candy! At least it doesn't taste like fat!

There are 110 milligrams of sodium and 25 grams of sugars. There is a gram of protein in a serving of Whoppers Malted Milk balls, but it is interesting to note that one gets 8% of their calcium by eating these. I think they might become my preferred way to get calcium if I can ever get out of my chair again!

These are not nutritious, so if you were thinking of living off them, you might want to reconsider.


The Whoppers Malted Milk balls store just fine in their bag and as long as they are kept in a cool, dry (preferably dark) place they ought to last for quite some time (I've never had a malted milk ball of any type go bad).

Because the coating is made with a resinous glaze (I kid not, it's in the ingredients!) the coating does not melt easily. As a result, unless one sticks these in their pocket, cleanup ought not to be an issue. If it becomes an issue, consult a fabric cleaning guide. Chocolate stains might be a problem, but again, it only becomes an issue if it gets melted.


I'm not a huge fan of milk chocolate, so should Hershey ever produce a dark-chocolate malted milk ball, I would dump these. But they are delicious for what they are and anyone who likes candy is likely to enjoy Hershey's Malted Milk balls. They are addictive, yummy and it's easy to see why Hershey's would use this as one of their flagship products!

For other Hershey’s candies, please be sure to visit my reviews of:
Strawberry Milkshake Whoppers
Whoppers Peanut Butter
Irish Crème Hershey’s Kisses


For other food or drink reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011, 2008 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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