Sunday, November 7, 2010

Yeah, No: Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly Jelly Beans Taste Good, But Not Even Remotely Fruity!

Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly Jelly Beans - 10 lbs bulk
Click to buy directly from Jelly Belly!



The Good: Tastes quite good, Environmentally responsible bulk.
The Bad: Not terribly nutritious, Doesn't taste at all fruity
The Basics: Whatwith "tutti-fruitti" being defined as a mixing of fruit flavors and Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Bellys tasting like bubble gum and not even vaguely fruity, these are impossible to recommend.


It's a weird thing to have standards and to enjoy something only to review it objectively and discover something does not meet your own standards. And yet, as I set out to review Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly jelly beans, that is where I am left. After all, I have standards: something that claims to have a flavor must live up to that flavor to get a "recommend" by me. If not, it starts at average and it goes down from there. Sadly, Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Bellys take a nose-dive by that standard and I cannot imagine who might need a ten pound case of these jelly beans!

For those unfamiliar with Jelly Bellys, these are amazing little jelly beans that come in such audacious and flavorful flavors as Grape Jelly, french vanilla, Cold Stone Ice Cream, and their signature flavor, Buttered Popcorn. The company prides itself on making confections that taste like what they claim to be and usually, they live up to that.

Who needs ten pounds of Tutti-Fruitti flavored Jelly Bellys? Beats me! With its pink color mottled by a rainbow of spots, it's not like it is ideal for a team's colors or any known annual celebration that I could come up with (unless Mardi Gras doesn't have a color scheme. . .).

Basics

Tutti-Fruitti is a flavor of Jelly Belly jelly beans. Jelly Belly jelly beans are approximately one half inch long by one quarter inch wide and they are roughly bean-shaped. These little candies are marketed to taste like Tutti-Fruitti and I had to look that up to find out what flavor "tutti-fruitti" would be. According to the dictionary I use, tutti-fruitti is defined as "a flavoring combining the flavor of a number of fruits."* By that objective standard, Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Bellys are an abject failure.

Tutti-Fruitti flavored Jelly Bellys are available in a wide array of quantities, but the largest quantity available is the ten pound bulk case. This is a decent-sized box with a plastic lining and while some might wonder why anyone would need a ten pound box, I suggest people think of the fine folks in Fairfield, California before asking that a second time. The Tutti-Fruitti flavor is one that is good, but not for the flavor it is supposed to be. A ten pound case is a year's supply of these jelly beans and it might well be a flavor that lasts at least a year in this type bulk.

The Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly is easily differentiated from other Jelly Belly jelly beans by its bright pink opaque shell which is mottled with many different colored spots, most notably blue. The closest Jelly Belly's in appearance to Tutti-Fruitti are Strawberry Cheesecake (light pink with red mottling) and Strawberry Daiquiri (dark pink with red spots). The blue, yellow and orange spots on Tutti-Fruitti beans make it easy to differentiate, though.

Ease Of Preparation

These are jelly beans, not translating The Wizard Of Oz into Aramaic. Preparing them is as easy as opening the box and popping one (or several) into your mouth. In the case of the ten pound box, one might want to put them in a candy dish of some form as opposed to always going into the box. Then again, there is no law on the book saying you have to eat them a specific way, so go ahead and eat them out of the box; that's what freedom is all about!

Taste

Tutti-Fruitti flavored Jelly Bellys are remarkably simple to define in terms of taste and that's the reason it is so easy to pan them. No, there not a hint of fruit flavor in these jelly beans. Not even the insinuation. Instead, each and every Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly I have ever tasted tastes like bubble gum. That is the precise flavor of these beans, unflinchingly.

And there already is a Bubble Gum Jelly Belly. It is bright opaque pink, like a neon pink almost, without any spots. There's no mixing the two up, unless of course one is blindfolded and doing a taste test. Of course, under those circumstances, one might just figure they were getting the same bean over and over again. These taste like bubble gum. Period.

Nutrition

Again, these are jelly beans, so anyone looking to them for nutrition needs to recall that things like the Pyramids would never have been built if the workers were only eating jelly beans. Jelly beans, even Jelly Belly jelly beans, are not a legitimate source of nutrition. These are a snack food, a dessert, and are in no way an adequate substitute for a real meal. A serving is listed at thirty-five beans, with each Jelly Belly jelly bean having approximately four calories. This means that in a single serving, there are 140 calories, which is 12% of your daily recommended intake.

The thing is, Jelly Belly jelly beans are not as bad as they could be in the nutrition area. They have no fat and no protein, but for those who have ever dated a Vegan, these are Vegan compliant because they contain no gelatin! They do, however, contain beeswax, so know your Vegan before gifting these! They have only one percent of the daily sodium with 15 mg and they are gluten free! The main ingredients are sugar, corn syrup and modified food starch, so it's not like this is an all-natural food, but they could be far, far worse.

Storage/Clean-up

Jelly Belly jelly beans have a shelf life of approximately one year and I have yet to run across a stale Jelly Belly (though that could have something to do with a package never surviving a year around me . . .). They remain freshest when they are kept in an airtight container (the bag in the bulk box is sufficient if it is kept closed) and they ought to be kept in a lukewarm environment. Storing them in hot places or behind one's ear is likely to make the beans stick together and be gross (that's an understatement!). Kept in a cool, dry place, the beans retain their flavor perfectly.

As for cleanup, unless one allows the Jelly Belly to get hot to the point that the waxy coating on the bean melts, the dyes on these do not bleed or denature, so there is usually no cleanup necessary, not even washing one's hands after eating them (always wash your hands before eating Jelly Bellys, sand, dust and dirt will in no way enhance the flavor of these beans!). I have never had a Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly stain anything.

Overall

Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly jelly beans would be a fine flavor of Jelly Bellys if only they tasted even remotely fruity, which is the only requirement for them to live up to their name! Barring that, these are impossible to recommend, especially in this extreme bulk.

For other Jelly Belly flavors reviewed by me, please check out:
Sour Orange
Honey Bean
Cappuccino

* My dictionary happens to be the Webster's New World Dictionary of American English,
Third College Edition.

3/10

For other food reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2010, 2008 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.



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Tutti-Fruitti Jelly Belly Jelly Beans - 5 lbs bulk Click to buy directly from Candy.com!

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