Returning To Something Better Than I Remember: How I Met Your Mother Season Four!

The Good: Funny, Good character development, Decent performances and guest actors
The Bad: Some truly preposterous plots
The Basics: I return to How I Met Your Mother for its fourth season DVD set . . . to discover the show got quite a bit better!


It has been a long time since I watched and reviewed any of How I Met Your Mother. The reason for that is very simple: the premise of it got pretty tired for me by the third season (reviewed here!) and virtually every time I sat down to watch the show, an internet meme I saw once about how the show was actually “Chicks I Banged Before Your Mother” would constantly run through my head. So, it was only the fact that my wife wanted to watch the show (and restarted the series without me) that I began to watch the series again. As a pleasant surprise for me, the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother was a vast improvement on how I remembered the show and I found myself getting into the show again.

Initially, I was drawn to How I Met Your Mother because of Alyson Hannigan and Jason Segal, whose other works I had generally enjoyed. But, like most people who watch How I Met Your Mother, I found myself vastly more intrigued by Neil Patrick Harris as the promiscuous playboy Barney Stinson than either Lily and Marshall or the show’s narrator, Ted Mosby. Part of the success of the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother certainly has to be that it is a season that fleshes out Barney in a meaningful way. While he is still a catchphrase-spouting scene-stealer, in the fourth season, he develops into a character wrestling with some realistically powerful emotions.

The fourth season of How I Met Your Mother picks up where the third left off, with Ted proposing to his girlfriend, Stella (the single mother). Because fans already know that Stella is not the titled mother of the series, the question going into the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother was how the Ted and Stella relationship would fall apart (assuming she said “yes” to his proposal). Fortunately, the show does not keep the viewer waiting long at all: Stella leaves Ted at the altar for the father of her child and Ted is suitably heartbroken. He is not the only one heartbroken, though: when Robin’s overseas job comes to an abrupt end, she moves back in with Ted and when they discover that having straightforward sex ends most of their roommate fights, Barney is upset.

Barney’s uncharacteristic emotions are only really noticed by Lily, to whom Barney has confessed he is in love with Robin. While Barney wrestles with his unresolved feelings for Robin (who remains in the dark about his passion for her), Marshall struggles with working for Goliath National Bank (and Barney) as he and Lily begin their debate on whether or not it is time to start trying to have a child. Ted, following his failed wedding, designs a building for Goliath National Bank (which Barney and Marshall do not have the heart to tell him the company has already scrapped) and he starts his own architecture firm, with disastrous consequences.

Amid the strongly serialized elements of the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother, the show does some of its best episodic works as well. Preposterous one-shot concept episodes like “The Naked Man” – which has Robin dating a guy who undresses when she is out of the room on the chance that when she comes back into the room she’ll sleep with him even though there is no relationship potential and then the guys in the group try the move – and one where Marshall has the gang going all around New York searching for the best burger he had years ago (as did Regis Philbin!) work exceptionally well. Concept episodes like “The Fight” and “Three Days Of Snow” work as one-shots, but also enhance the essential characters (especially the latter where Marshall and Lily realize how important their traditions are to their relationship). Some of the bottle episodes, though, are unfortunately derivative. “Little Minnesota” bears a striking resemblance to an episode of Frasier where Daphne and Frasier compete over the same English pub which hardly seems coincidental in that Pamela Fryman, who directed the episode also worked on Frasier!

In the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother the show makes good use of its characters. The primary characters this season include:

Ted Mosby – The man telling the story in flashback of how he did not meet the mother of this two children this season. Instead, this year is a winding narrative about how he almost married a completely different woman and had a near-miss with fame as an architect and also ended up sleeping with the kids’ Aunt Robin quite a bit! This year has Ted getting into a fight and having one night as a bartender at the downstairs bar, McClaren’s. He has a falling out with Lily when he learns that she has sabotaged all of his past relationships, including with his college girlfriend (who is, admittedly, a pretentious snob in both flashbacks and when she resurfaces in this season), and with Robin,

Robin Scherbatsky – Ted’s on-again, off-again girlfriend (including this season), who is now his roommate given that Marshall and Lily have moved into their (not quite) dream apartment. She is out of work most of the season following quitting her job and leaving an overseas job to return to New York. She reveals that she did an obscure sex act with an equally obscure Canadian celebrity, as well as hitting on Ted’s personal assistant when he uses their apartment as a home office. She gets a new television job (thanks to Barney’s help), though it is on in the middle of the night, so none of her friends watch it,

Marshall Eriksen – Disturbed over working for Goliath National Bank, he becomes obsessed with finding his perfect hamburger again. He and Lily remain happily married for the season and he and Barney bond over, alternatively, tormenting and helping Ted. He makes an ass of himself when coaching Lily’s basketball team and he comes to miss his family in Minnesota, which gives him and Robin something to bond over,

Lily Aldrin – Is told Barney’s secret right away and comes to have a soft spot for him as a result. She and Marshall have a very successful marriage for the season. She is relegated to a supporting role this season, though she discovers Robin has some unfortunate character traits she dislikes (“Whooo!”), she and Marhsall struggle to continue their tradition of meeting at the airport when she returns from travel (her with a locally-bought beer from the place she was at). She also reveals that she has intervened in Ted’s relationships based on her own vision of how she wants to have porch friends when she and Marshall are older,

And Barney Stinson – He confesses his love for Robin to Lily, is outed as having a fake family to try to make his mother happy, and works as a general corporate tool for Goliath National Bank. He accepts challenges like impersonating an 80 year-old man to pick up a younger woman and eagerly embraces the challenge of The Naked Man. Ted works hard to keep him from hooking up with Ted’s younger sister when she visits New York and he actually tries to do something nice for Ted by hiring actors to play along with the idea that Ted’s building is still being built. He almost makes it through Ted’s Murtaugh list, though it puts him in serious pain and he learns that Robin is the only one who does not know how he feels about her.

The fourth season of How I Met Your Mother has all of the primary performers playing at the top of their ability. Neil Patrick Harris and Josh Radnor are both able to play their characters of Barney and Ted with more emotional depth and complications than in prior seasons. Harris’s Barney Stinson becomes a realized emotional character as he wrestles with having the love of his life so close, but unable and unwilling to act upon his feelings. Radnor actually makes Ted tormented by the loss of being left at the altar and that plays well to the giant character leaps the character makes in the fourth season. In the fourth season, these two men show more complications and depth for their characters than the other actors.

Ultimately, the fourth season of How I Met Your Mother is funnier, better-performed and feels fresher than some of the prior seasons, which makes it a great place to pick up the series.

For other works with Lyndsy Fonesca, please visit my reviews of:
Hot Tub Time Machine
Kick-Ass
Heroes - Season 2

8/10

For other television reviews, please visit my Television Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Two Men, Lost, Find Themselves Down The Scenic Route!

The Good: Engaging character study, Decent acting, Good direction
The Bad: Virtually plotless, Unrelenting mood.
The Basics: Scenic Route is very much a typical art house film in which two men talk, nothing really happens and the depths of human misery are plumbed.


August is looking like it will be a good month for art films this year. While some have real mainstream potential, others seem to be going simply for accepting their limited potential niche audience and relish that. Scenic Route, despite having the celebrity power of Josh Duhamel, is the latter type of film. With a limited set of characters and cast members, set in only two locations (one of which is a desert road), Scenic Route is very much what one expects of an art house flick. It is smartly-written, character-focused, and depressing as all hell.

Scenic Route is basically a buddy drama in which two friends who have been estranged for some time talk about their issues with one another before finding themselves caught in a struggle for their lives. Written by Kyle Killen, Scenic Route is a short film (just under ninety minutes) that feels long, as watching people suffer usually does. Like so many character studies, Scenic Route suffers some because it is unrelentingly depressing and the humorless exploration of realistic human misery and survival is more gut-wrenching and emotionally-manipulating than in any way satisfying or entertaining.

Opening on a desert road where a man with a broken foot beats another man (apparently to death), Scenic Route flashes back. The man with the broken foot is Mitchell, the man who is bludgeoned to death is Carter. Carter and Mitchell are driving in the truck through the desert when the truck apparently dies, waking Mitchell up. But when help arrives after an hour stranded, during which the two guys have a meaningful conversation, Carter reveals that he just pulled a wire from the truck to spark conversation between them. With the truth revealed, Carter rags on Mitchell and his new wife and family, accusing his old friend of simply settling for the first woman to come along after Karen (the woman Carter insists Mitchell was truly in love with) before the two realize they are truly stranded in the middle of the desert.

Angry with one another and exhausted, the two survive the day and into the night together. After confessing his infidelity on his wife, Joanne, Mitchell talks with Carter about his unfulfilled hopes and dreams. In the middle of the night, Mitchell lets Carter cut his hair in a Mohawk style. Unfortunately, the next morning when they awaken, their looks scare off the old woman who might otherwise have rescued them. Abandoning the truck, the pair begins to walk across the desert in search of the next dot which might represent a small town.

Much of Scenic Route is a conflict against the elements. For that portion of the film, the directors, Kevin and Michael Goetz, struggle to keep the movie meaningful. Despite who interesting the initial conflict is between Mitchell and Carter, when the struggle is between the two of them and the desert sun and heat, I found myself in the unenviable position of being indifferent. For a movie that is a character study, indifference is the death knell. As I discovered I did not actually care whether Mitchell and/or Carter survived the ordeal (or their fights with one another), Scenic Route started to fall apart.

The resolution to Scenic Route is all that saves it. The idea that living one’s life to the fullest is essential is a theme well-executed in this movie, though it takes an exceptionally long time to get there.

What does work very well is the initial conflict. Carter is the typical plus-sized sidekick character; he see’s the truth and is not entirely wrong about his analysis of his best friend. Fortunately, Killen and Scenic Route do not make that into the end-all and be-all of the character. Instead, of simply being a sage who serves as a mirror for Mitchell, Carter has unfulfilled hopes and dreams of his own and they are presented well-enough to make him seem viable independent of the film’s plot.

The last minute of Scenic Route adds some ambiguity to the resolution and pretty much cements the film as an art house style movie.

Scenic Route has Josh Duhamel giving a decent performance. Both he and Dan Fogler (Mitchell and Carter, respectively) get through their long monologues exceptionally well and they breathe life into two characters who are defined mostly by how they were years prior when they knew one another. Duhamel’s best moments are in the film’s climax and while those moments do not serve the character as much as the plot (or plot twist), Duhamel makes the viewer care about Mitchell in those moments.

But even with the potentially twisty end, Scenic Route is what it is and makes very little in the way of statements about life, existence or meaningful human relationships. The meaningful aspects of Scenic Route are diluted with near-misses for the character’s as they search desperately for rescue and that makes it harder to land than it could have been if it remained focused on the essential character conflicts which are initially intriguing enough to captivate the audience.

For other works with Josh Duhamel, please check out my reviews of:
Safe Haven
Movie 43
Transformers: Dark Of The Moon
When In Rome
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen
Transformers

5.5/10

For other film reviews, please check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing.

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Well-made, But Not Exciting, The 2013 Pirates Of The Caribbean Ornament Is A Mixed Bag!

The Good: Great sculpt, Generally good coloring detail, Good balance, Decent sound clip
The Bad: No light effect, Subject is entirely unremarkable.
The Basics: The 2013 "Pirates Of The Caribbean" ornament is well crafted, but unexciting, making for a more mundane-feeling ornament than it ought to have been.


With the new year’s worth of exciting Hallmark ornaments now on display at Hallmark stores everywhere, I find myself amused by the franchises that are surviving with the collectibles versus the ones that Hallmark has given up on. This year, for example, is the first in three years where the company has not produced a Twilight themed ornament. And yet, the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise not only had a new ornament, it is a step up – in terms of content – from the prior years, which featured Johnny Depp-based appeal with the 2011 Captain Jack Sparrow ornament (reviewed here!) and the 2012 “On Stranger Tides” (reviewed here!). This year, Hallmark avoids my usual gripes about skin tones with its Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament when it released the skull symbol used with the logo from the credits and promotional materials (not quite iconic yet, really), but in the process, they produced an ornament that simply does not feel exciting or interesting, despite being well made and offering more value than some of the prior Pirates Of The Caribbean ornaments.

For those unfamiliar with the idea of the ornament, Pirates Of The Caribbean the skull with the crossed swords behind it from Pirates Of The Caribbean: The Curse Of The Black Pearl (reviewed here!). Honestly, it has been a while since I watched the movies, so I only recall the symbol from the ride upon which the films are based, the opening credits for the first film and the promotional materials for the rest of the franchise. The skull symbol is the subject of the Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament.

Basics

The "Pirates Of The Caribbean" ornament recreates the skull with the bandanna and crossed swords behind it. The ornament, released in 2013, is completely accurate in its sculpting and looks appropriately rendered in three dimensions, which makes sense because the original logo skull was a computer-generated effect and could thus be made into a 3-D framework for an ornament exceptionally easily. But Hallmark made sure to get details precisely right, like the depth of the mouth cavity and the tiny earring that hangs from the bandana. The beads on the forehead “earring” are exceptionally finely molded, making for an impressive effect.

The Hallmark "Pirates Of The Caribbean" ornament is made of a durable plastic and is colored precisely. The skull is not a clean white, which makes sense and even the handles on the swords are painted with enough subtlety and color variation to make them look like worn leather! Each of the beads on the earring is painstakingly colored and this is one of the ornaments that lives up to the standards set by the promotional materials on the coloring and sculpt fronts.

For an ornament that is 4 ¼” wide by 3 ¼” tall and 2” deep, the $17.95 initial price for the ornament is not bad.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Pirates Of The Caribbean" has a sound effect, but not a light effect. Given that the eyes light up in the logo, it is a little disappointing that the battery-operated effect does not include a light component. As it is, though, the sound clip is impressive. When the button is pressed, a sound clip for the Pirates Of The Caribbean theme plays and it lasts for about thirty seconds. I was impressed – in addition to the quality of the sound – by the volume of the sound clip! This is one of the loudest ornaments Hallmark has produced!

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Pirates Of The Caribbean" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate movie nostalgia Christmas Tree, the "Pirates Of The Caribbean" ornament is very much unnecessary, but a fun addition. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top center of the skull. This is fairly obvious and necessary for the ornament. Hanging there, the ornament is absolutely perfectly balanced.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for that review!). Within a few years, every major franchise from Star Wars to A Nightmare Before Christmas to Indiana Jones started making Hallmark ornaments. "Pirates Of The Caribbean" is one of only a few Pirates Of The Caribbean ornaments on the market and it might be the only Pirates Of The Caribbean ornaments not to feature Jack Sparrow. It seems to be a crapshoot as to whether or not the sound feature will drive the fans to the ornament, though if I had to bet, I’d bet it won’t, despite the incredible quality of the ornament!

Overview

Fans of the Pirates Of The Caribbean franchise, pirates in general and Hallmark ornaments should love the Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament. For my money, it lacks an X factor of greatness and while I remain impressed by it, I find myself not excited about it and rating it accordingly.

For other Hallmark genre ornaments released in 2013, please check out my reviews of:
Hogwarts Castle Harry Potter ornament
Boushh Star Wars Limited Edition ornament
U.S.S. Kelvin Star Trek ornament
Scarlett’s Green Gown Gone With The Wind ornament
At Jabba’s Mercy Star Wars ornament
Iron Patriot Iron Man 3 ornament

7.5/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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One Of The More Original Possession Episodes Initially, “The Crossing” Becomes Painfully Familiar!

The Good: Decent concept, Good special effects, Moments of performance
The Bad: Creates some pretty huge continuity problems for the franchise.
The Basics: “The Crossing” is a straightforward possession episode that introduces an incorporeal life form to Enterprise!


In the Star Trek franchise, like so many science fiction shows and series’ fall back on the tried and true plot of a possession episode. There is nothing inherently wrong with possession episodes, but more often than not, they follow a predictable pattern, especially with the reversals that come when people who are not previously possessed become taken over. “The Crossing” is the first major, crew wide, possession episode of Enterprise and while it starts as a potentially creative and compelling episode, it quickly degenerates into something unfortunately familiar.

Before the episode makes its intent completely clear, the show appears like it might be a very pure Star Trek episode working to present an exploration episode that is strongly science fiction. Star Trek did plenty of possession episodes, like “Wolf In The Fold” (reviewed here!) and “Metamorphosis” (reviewed here!). “The Crossing” initially seems like it might be shaking up the familiar formula by presenting characters more like those from “Return To Tomorrow” (reviewed here!) who actually might want to simply explore, but the show mortgages that in favor of the familiar and creepy.

The Enterprise is cruising through space when it encounters a massive vessel that is traveling at warp, without emitting a warp signature. The Enterprise is taken into the other vessel and they are unable to scan outside the ship or creature to understand if they are still at warp. The ship’s engines go offline and when Archer, Reed, and Tucker leave the ship to walk around the life form, Tucker is penetrated by a glowing light and he believes he was in Florida for the duration of its contact with him. Soon, the alien lights are infiltrating the ship and Tucker is possessed by one again. Almost instantly, though, other members of the Engineering crew realize something is wrong with Tucker. Tucker goes to the dining hall where he begins to binge and he seems amazed by very common foods.

Tucker reveals that he is actually an alien inhabiting the body of Trip. When Tucker is returned to his body, he describes an incredible experience of being elsewhere. While Tucker works to get the ship back online, T’Pol tries to convince Archer that the incorporeal life forms might just have been honest when they said they were explorers. But when Phlox is concerned that one of the energy life forms tried to penetrate him and Reed is inhabited, Archer’s worst fears are realized. As the crew is possessed by the life forms, T’Pol, Archer and Phlox work to resist the aliens.

“The Crossing” is hampered more by situational and directoral predictability than anything else. So, for example, David Livingston frames and reveals the possessed Sato in the most obvious possible way and Linda Park telegraphs the reveal with a dead-eyed expression that guts the moment of even the pretense of surprise. Moreover, once the episode takes a turn toward the formulaic possession plot, it turns surprisingly horrifically away from being Star Trek.

The writing in “The Crossing” does not make the aliens into a clear villain, which is fine especially at the beginning of the episode. When Trip encounters the life forms, he has a seemingly benign experience and actually is pretty excited by the first contact. It is only Archer’s perspective that this alien race is a menace to the ship that shifts the demeanor and nature of the first contact. That makes the aliens seem far less villainous and more like Archer is an ass. It is only after Archer rejects the benign advance of the aliens that they react in a sinister way.

At that moment in the episode, “The Crossing” transforms from something that could be smart and cerebral into a pretty typical and surprisingly lowbrow. Trip describes something akin to an out-of-body experience that is entirely pleasant to him; Archer responds by demanding the aliens leave and out come the phase pistols and lots of running, jumping, and ridiculousness.

Equally problematic are the episode’s effects as a mechanic for the possession. When the aliens possess a human, there is no indication of their (for lack of a better term) soul. And yet, before any of the aliens leave their human hosts, an energy creature is seen entering before another energy creature exits. So, scenes like Sato becoming possessed while on the bridge make no rational sense; there should have been the light discharge from the alien arriving and Sato’s “spirit” leaving. It makes no sense for there to be an exiting spirit only when the host is reclaimed by its innate personality.

Such minutiae end up not mattering; the episode sinks fast into the mundane and the mechanics become less problematic than the broad strokes. “The Crossing” is one of those great episodes to point to that illustrates that Star Trek was left in the hands of people who had nothing new to say and little care for treading where the franchise, indeed almost all science fiction, had already gone before.

The three biggest gaffes in “The Crossing:”
3. If the Enterprise encountered a giant living ship, how is it still a novelty 100 and 200 years later? How is it that this alien race is never seen again if it is so close to the core of the Federation?,
2. If the NX-01 Enterprise encountered an incorporeal life form, how is it a novelty for the NCC-1701 Enterprise? Moreover, how have they not developed sensors to detect just such life forms?!,
1. Despite their methods, the aliens in “The Crossing” are just trying to survive. The resolution to the episode (spoiler alert!) makes Archer into anything but a StarFleet captain. In fact, he’s guilty of homicide, if not outright genocide. This is not entertaining to watch.

[Knowing that single episodes are an inefficient way to get episodes, it's worth looking into Star Trek: Enterprise - The Complete Second Season on DVD or Blu-Ray, which is also a better economical choice than buying individual episodes. Read my review of the sophmore season here!
Thanks!]

4.5/10

For other Star Trek episode and movie reviews, please visit my Star Trek Review Index Page!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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The Prometheus David 8 Action Figure Might Be One Of The Best Action Figures EVER!

The Good: Great sculpt, Exceptional poseability, Incredible coloring detailing, Neat accessories, Awesome balance!
The Bad: I’m not wild about the mechanism for the interchangeable head . . .
The Basics: A perfect action figure, the Prometheus< Series 2 David 8 action figure is a must-buy! Nothing says to an actor that they have completely landed in the public psyche like going from virtual obscurity and bit parts to leading roles that result in the manufacture of peripheral merchandise. Michael Fassbender has landed. Fortunately for the immensely talented actor, some of his best roles in recent years have given him a number of opportunities and his role in Prometheus cemented him as an actor science fiction fans might want to have merchandise of. Michael Fassbender ought to be thrilled, too, because his immortalization in plastic comes from NECA as part of their Prometheus Series 2 toy line. And NECA got the actor absolutely right!

The Prometheus David 8 action figure is available exclusively from the NECA line and is one of two figures from their second wave (there are at least two more on NECA’s docket for this year). The David 8 figure is a worthy release alongside the three prior Prometheus figure releases and is the best-articulated, most detailed (in coloring and in sculpt) figure I have seen in years!

Basics

Based on the character that was seen in throughout Prometheus, David 8 is the android son of the reclusive industrialist Weyland. He was the only member of the crew conscious for the long journey out to the distant world where Holloway and Shaw believe they have found the architects of human evolution.

Standing seven inches tall, the David 8 figure is an incredibly detailed version of the character in his environmental suit (the one used whenever the character was seen outside the protection of the ship). The sculpting of this figure is absolutely immaculate. David 8 looks just like Michael Fassbender as he appeared in Prometheus. The outfit is molded with each and every bit of padding and protection as well as every pocket and seam that the character had in the film. It is astonishing how detailed the figure is. Moreover aspects like the ears and hair have such fine molded lines and grooves that they look realistic and viable as opposed to flattened or helmet-like. The David 8 figure is actually one that looks equally good from behind as NECA included such molded detailed elements as the camera on the shoulder with the video line that goes across the figure’s back and the pouches, power packs and flashlight-like objects molded to the figure’s belt!

As for the coloring details, NECA managed to get David 8 perfectly right! The hair has depth and shading to make the figure look more realistic, as opposed to stylized. The skin is given appropriate tone and shading and even the lips have a slight pink tint to them. The figure’s uniform is very clean, but it includes such fine paint detailing as the name “Weyland Industries” beneath the logo painted on the figure’s chest. For the scale, the fact that such words are perfectly legible is nothing short of amazing. Every possible nook and cranny of the figure is detailed with appropriate coloring to make this figure a powerful addition to one’s collection.

Accessories

The David 8 comes loaded with accessories, putting the first wave of Prometheus figures to shame! David 8 comes with a lighted specimen case, helmet and an alternate head. The alternate head accessory replaces the standard David 8 head and has the helmet-like head covering that obscure’s the character’s hair. The accessory features the character’s name on a patch on the forehead, just like the uniform had in the movie. Accurately colored for both the head and headcovering, the 1” by 5/8” wide by 7/8” tall accessory looks just like Michael Fassbender as David 8. The accessory head easily swaps out with the original head, though it also reveals the figure’s sole potential weakness. In popping the standard head off, one has to push the accessory head onto a remarkably thin stick and it is not the easiest or most comfortably stable replacement.

The helmet is a clear plastic fishbowl-style helmet exactly like what was seen in the movie on the environmental suits. The helmet slides easily over the head and fits into well-concealed grooves on the figure’s shoulder-area. When applied to the figure, it matches the level of detailing quality for the figure and looks great there!

The final accessory is the flashlight, which is attached to what appears to be a specimen container. The 1” by 1” by 3/16” accessory fits perfectly in either of David 8’s hands and looks pretty natural there.

Poseability

David 8 has a sense of balance that is just as good as the detailing! This figure stands in any variety of poses, completely unaided. Despite the fact that there are no playsets for the Prometheus action figures, David 8 comes with two tiny holes on the bottoms of his feet, as if they could be supported by pegs in a playset!

Fortunately, because of all of its joints, David 8 can be posed in incredible ways. With nineteen points of articulation, David 8 has absolutely amazing poseability and the sculpt allows one to make good use out of all of the joints. The David 8 has ball and socket joints at the ankles, shoulders, wrists and elbows. The bust, waist and head are on ball joints, with limited range of motion there. There are additional joints – two joints each! – on the knees and a very cool hinged and rotational joint on the groin socket. It seems to imply that someday there might be a vehicle toy for David 8 to straddle!

Playability

All of the articulation makes David 8 a decent toy for play, but one suspects those who would recognize David 8 enough to enjoy the figure would not be the type to actually play with it and the Prometheus toy line is intended for the adult collector. The superlative play function for this figure is the replaceable head, though the extensive articulation cannot be undersold!

Collectibility

NECA Toys made an absolutely perfect figure with David 8, but given how NECA has a tendency to pick the losers (past history has shown that NECA’s figures quickly sell to the fanbase, then end up severely discounted at the few retailers that carry them) and there is no reason to believe that the Prometheus figures will be any exception. Given the limited appeal of the Prometheus figures, it is hard to believe that they will be a good investment figure. Given that Series 1 figures are still easily available at the Toys R Us stores around me, unless the Series 2 figures were comparatively underproduced, it is likely this figure will not readily appreciate in value, despite its fine quality.

Overview

Fans of the Alien franchise, Prometheus, Michael Fassbender, androids and the David 8 android in particular are likely to want this figure. In fact, anyone who loves science fiction and fine collectibles will want to pick this up, if for no other reason than to encourage NECA to continue making such finely crafted figures of beloved characters!

This version of the David 8 appears solely in Prometheus, reviewed here!

For other Prometheus-related reviews, please visit my reviews of:
The Furious Gods: Making Prometheus
NECA Series 1 Engineer (Pressure Suit) figure
NECA Series 1 Engineer (Chair Suit) figure
NECA Series 2 Deacon figure

10/10

For other toy reviews, please visit my Toy Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Largely Predictable, “Don’t You Feel Me” Is Still Worth Watching!

The Good: Decent performances, Good special effects, The plot progresses, Moments of character
The Bad: Very predictable, No opportunity for catharsis
The Basics: “Don’t You Feel Me” raises the body count and significantly shifts the direction of True Blood . . . without taking the time to let it resonate.


As the sixth season of True Blood progresses, the show is doing a decent job of making the fantastic world of True Blood seem surprisingly realistic. The show is bending much closer to the scientific, despite being populated by werewolves, fairies, and vampires. So, with the sixth episode, there is a sense that the plot is progressing in a way that will continue that trend – and it does – but for all the good things about True Blood and the surprisingly grounded nature of the show, “Don’t You Feel Me” is painfully predictable. In fact, more than most of the episodes of True Blood, “Don’t You Feel Me” does not leave the viewer guessing or wondering about what is going to happen or where the characters will end up.

Unfortunately, as a standalone episode, talking about “Don’t You Feel Me” is absolutely impossible without mentioning how “Fuck The Pain Away” (reviewed here!), the prior episode, ended. In fact, part of the problem with “Don’t You Feel Me” is not the episode’s fault; the last episode ended up at a point where it was entirely impossible to suspend one’s disbelief for the next episode. This is an issue with both the Sookie and Eric/Pam plots. The savvy television viewer knows long before “Don’t You Feel Me” that Sookie is not going to die (the person with top billing seldom does and True Blood has a poor record of keeping characters dead) and given the popularity of Alex Skarsgard’s character of Eric, if he were to go out, it would be for another reason than simply Pam showing off for the Governor whom she despises. So, just like Pam and Eric finding their way out of their situation, the big death in “Don’t You Feel Me” is seen a mile away and the fact that Jason’s fast-track into the Governor’s camp puts him face to face with Sarah Newlin is similarly predictable.

That said, “Don’t You Feel Me” is not unenjoyable and the episode moves the plot forward in a meaningful way and sets most of the characters up for Bill’s horrific vision from the season premiere.

“Don’t You Feel Me” picks up with Sookie being drowned by the father-possessed Lafayette. She is saved by, of all people, Warlow, who helps Sookie exorcise Sookie’s father from Lafayette. Sookie then saves Warlow from Bill/Lilith’s summoning and spends the rest of the episode in quiet conversation with Warlow about his past and their future. Back at the Governor’s camp, Eric and Pam face off one another, but they team up to kill the guards before they can be stopped. To torment Eric, Governor Burrell has Eric chained up and he brings in Nora, who is injected with what he calls Hepatitis V. Summoning Willa, Eric is able to break out and he discovers the Governor’s plan for the biotoxin.

Meanwhile, Sam and Alcide reconcile their issues when Jackson tells Alcide where Sam is. Terry Bellefluer sets off a warning bell with Lafayette by bringing the cook a key to a safe deposit box that he Terry kept from Arlene. Arlene and Holly conspire to have Terry glamoured in order to forget all of his personal pain. Sadly, they do this without the forethought to ask Terry what his apparently suicidal plan was, which leads to tragedy. After he has a vision of Lilith, Bill heads to the Governor’s camp where he changes the course of the conflict between the humans and vampires!

The sense of menace that comes out of “Don’t You Feel Me” makes one actually care about vampirekind in a way that works well beyond the metaphorical. The vampires in the camp are suffering and the way that Sarah uses Jessica to keep Jason in check makes her the most visibly evil character in the episode. Jason tries so hard to be the white knight, bluffing his way into the vampire-hating organization run by the Governor, only to be trumped by the politically astute and tactically inclined Sarah. Sarah trumping Jason, while upsetting to watch, only enhances the realism of the situation as, sadly, Jason is a bit of an idiot and he gets so far without any real innate talent. With “Don’t You Feel Me” the horror is not in the bloodsuckers or even in the gore, but in the humans who plan and abet the genocide the Governor has organized.

Like most of the sixth season episodes, “Don’t You Feel Me” is crowded by the sheer number of castmembers the show needs to service. The episode features an obligatory scene with Andy and Holly (and the surviving fey child) and the Alcide/Sam plot continues to be very much in the background.

On the acting front, John Fleck gets a great scene as the sadistic doctor working for the Governor. Fleck is a pretty amazing character actor and in “Don’t You Feel Me” he plays the doctor in a loopy way unlike anything else he has ever been in. From the main cast, it is Todd Lowe who delivers the performance of the episode. From the goofy smile to his last scene, Lowe makes Terry Bellefluer – who is one of the last human characters in the main cast! – the man to watch. His character has had a lot of conflict and in “Don’t You Feel Me” is given the opportunity to play Terry at peace and it is a nice stretch for him.

In the end, “Don’t You Feel Me” is good, but it is another bridging episode. Eric has learned the Governor’s plan and Bill has reasoned that his vision is imminent (a situation that comes from one of the worst scenes in the episode! Note to True Blood writers: how about something different from the god characters you write? You know what a nice change of pace would be for writing the divine? A deity who says in simple, clear terms what is going on, what they want and how they want their followers to achieve their goals! The riddle bullshit is getting tiresome!), but the events are moving so fast that characters like Arlene and Andy, who help root the show in some semblance of reality, are glossed over and not given the time to reflect upon their tragedies and traumas. Ultimately, that makes “Don’t You Feel Me” good, but hardly as good as it could be.

[For a much better value, check out True Blood Season 6 on Blu-Ray and DVD. The penultimate season is reviewed here! Check it out!]

For other works with Arliss Howard or Todd Lowe, please visit my reviews of:
Moneyball
The Time Traveler’s Wife
Gilmore Girls
The Princess Diaries

7/10

For other television reviews, please check out my Television Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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I Found Raitt, Right In The Nick Of Time.

The Good: Good songs, Decent lyrics
The Bad: One of Two weak links
The Basics: A shockingly good album, even if it's not perfect. Great for anyone who likes a strong female voice/performance.


When I was growing up, I loathed Bonnie Raitt. Before I get pelted with eggs for that, let me explain that I was young, somewhat ridiculous and my main reason was that I could not stand the music video for "Something To Talk About." Hated it. Still do. At the time, my family had its one and only three month trial with cable television and "Something To Talk About" was in high rotation on VH-1, keeping me from watching better videos (though I don't even recall now what those might have been). Recently, though, I've been giving Bonnie Raitt some attention and listening to a couple of her c.d.s. I went back to her beginning and listened to her debut and then jumped to her album Sweet Forgiveness. Why did I go through so much effort when most of my memories were negative?

“Nick Of Time.”

The very first concert I ever went to was Lilith Fair in Canandaigua, New York. I was going because I loved Sarah McLachlan, and I was impressed Natalie Merchant would be there. Mostly, I was going because the prime b-stage act was Heather Nova, easily one of the most amazing musical, vocal and lyrical talents of the past two decades. I was going because I figured I would never be able to get so close to her again (I got to meet here and get her autograph, as it turned out, but that's another story!). I was impressed enough that Bonnie Raitt would be on the main stage because, even though I was not a fan, I could recognize that she had some talent and that she was certainly a draw. At one point in her set - most of which I was busy meeting Heather Nova and glowing over my autograph for - Raitt began to perform her song Nick Of Time. I HEARD it for the first time that day, genuinely heard it and it made me sit down and shut up, I was so impressed.

Now, almost a decade later, I've finally picked up a copy of Nick Of Time and as I listen to it for the twelfth time, I continue to be impressed by that first single in a way that the rest of the album does not grab me. For those who have not heard it, the mildly successful single (bafflingly, "Have A Heart" peaked at 48, while Nick Of Time only peaked at 92 in the U.S.) from arguably Raitt's most successful album (the album hit #1, while her follow-up with "Something To Talk About" peaked at #2, though it might have sold more copies than this album) is a story-song about the mysteries of love and the importance of not giving up on it.

Nick Of Time, the single, tells a series of stories; a friend who wants a baby and feels time running out, a woman seeing her parents getting older and her getting older as well, and the near-miss of a woman who was about to give up on every finding love. The song works through with a simple, honest refrain of "She's scared / Scared to run out of time" until the final, joyful chorus where the narrator declares, "I found love! / Love in the nick of time" (Nick Of Time). It's a song that makes one contemplative, moody and maybe even a little depressed until that final twist. Then, it's a rejoicing.

I could literally keep that single on repeat for two hours without getting tired of it. It has an infectious drum track, it has great vocals and the lyrics are tight. It is the peak of Bonnie Raitt as an artist; she wrote the lyrics, music and performed it while playing her guitar. The track won her two Grammy awards (the album won Album of the Year in 1989, the same year Raitt won "Best Female Pop Vocal Performance" and "Best Female Rock Vocal Performance" for the single). It's one of those rare occasions where the voters got it absolutely right.

But then there's the rest of the album. There's the honky-tonk sounding "Thing Called Love" which uses such inventive lyrics as "I ain't no porcupine / Take off your kid gloves / Are you ready for this thing called love?" There's the monotonous "Love Letter" which repeats too many of the lines or words over and over again and there's the sad and soulful presentation of "Cry On My Shoulder." I'm sure I'd heard "Love Letter" before, though it appears to never have been released as a single.

"Have A Heart," the single that performed best on the charts I've heard as a reggae song, but here it's just a soft rock track with a bluegrass feel to it. The album closes with Raitt performing the only other track on the album she wrote herself, which is "The Road's My Middle Name." The irony of this is that out of all of the tracks, "The Road's My Middle Name" sounds most like a Country-Western/Southern rock standard. The twangy guitars and jowly vocals on the track make it sound most like a bluegrass standard of long ago. Go figure! Raitt can write and perform flawlessly in the sound and style of days of yore. It's in interesting contrast on an album that is otherwise very modern.

Sadly, that cuts the album some. "Nick Of Time" (the single) may well be a perfect track, but the album is by no means a perfect album. Some of the songs have pathetically predictable rhyme schemes and meanings that are so dumbed down as to be utterly common, like, "I'm not messing with a toy / I don't need no baby boy / I want a real man!" ("Real Man"). "Real Man" stands out as a track that seems to be an epitome of feminine bravado in the face of no real masculine challenge. It's a bold declaration that somehow sounds as limited and pathetic as a guy singing about how he wants a woman with big breasts. My point is the song is all about the most stereotypical aspects of manhood as what the narrator wants and after the depth and attitude of songs like "Nick Of Time" and "Too Soon To Tell," the listener deserves better.

Beyond that, the album is produced in a way that often minimizes the greatness of Bonnie Raitt the guitarist. I'm not denying that Raitt is a fabulous guitarist; she is. On Nick Of Time (the album), she plays guitar, slide guitar and the piano. She's an instrumental master. The problem with the album is too often her guitarwork is sublimated. While it's not a problem to drown Raitt's guitarwork with Raitt's voice, the problem is on many of the tracks, she drowns her guitarwork with the drums. If you've ever heard "Thing Called Love," it's all Bonnie Raitt's brassy voice lashing out the singsong lyrics and the sound of the snares and cymbals. The dominant instrumentation is the percussion and it's quite effective for getting the listener up and dancing. But it does not showcase her guitarwork as well as it ought.

That ought not to be enough to scare the listener away. This is a surprisingly strong pop-rock album and the vocals and lyrics are wonderful, though the best songs are the two written by Raitt. And when one can hear the guitarwork, it does go a long way to illustrating why there is much to love about Bonnie Raitt and this is the album to fall in love with her over.

The best track is "Nick Of Time" (by lightyears!), the weakest is "Real Man."

For other works by Bonnie Raitt, please check out my reviews of:
Bonnie Raitt
Sweet Forgiveness
“Something To Talk About” (single)

8/10

For other music reviews, please check out my Music Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the albums and singles I have reviewed!

© 2013, 2007 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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The Half-Life Of Fad Food Is Exemplified By Pink Lemonade Magic Shell!

The Good: It does not taste bad, Good scent
The Bad: Expensive, Does not taste like pink lemonade.
The Basics: A new and soon-to-be-discontinued flavor of Magic Shell Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping is disappointing.


Whenever a new product comes out, I look at it like both a consumer and a reviewer. As a consumer, I look at all sorts of new products and I think “that’s exciting!” As a reviewer, I seem to look at all new products I encounter when they are introduced to market and evaluate its potential for survival in its given market. There are so many crowded markets in the area of food and it seems like every company is obsessed with putting out new products instead of keeping quality of the existing product lines high and promoting the strength of their familiar products. I actually like the companies that unabashedly admit that their new products will not be around long by calling them “limited edition.” But then there are the new products that I look at upon their release and just smile to myself and say “There is no way in hell this product will survive in the marketplace.”

That was the exact reaction I had in April when I saw the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Ice Cream Topping in my local supermarket. So, in late June when the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell ice cream topping ended up on that same store’s clearance rack, I felt vindicated. I’m not sure who the intended niche was for the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell, but it seemed like an esoteric concept.

As it is, what little flavor the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell has is only not overwhelmed by the lightest of ice creams. A good, dark chocolate ice cream thoroughly overpowers this topping.

Basics

The Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping is part of Smucker’s ice cream topping line and it worked just like any other Magic Shell ice cream topping. The 7.25 oz. bottle has a large flip top which allows one to squeeze the fluid out onto ice cream, whereupon it solidifies into a candy/frosting shell. This is a fun, clever idea and it works after only about a minute worth of shaking it up.

Ease Of Preparation

Shaking well is essential to Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping. Pink Lemonade Magic Shell is like an epoxy that then reacts with the cold temperature of ice cream. One needs to shake the product up quite a bit, then dispense it by flipping the top and giving it about a minute to set on ice cream. It is that easy. The Magic Shell forms a fairly solid candy shield on the ice cream. It is bright pink and it looks good.

Taste

For all of my ice cream topping reviews, I am utilizing Blue Bunny Chocolate Chip ice cream (reviewed here!) as it provides a neutral flavor base.

To its credit, this bright pink fluid smells incredibly like lemonade (pink or otherwise). The fruity scent is strong and surprisingly inviting.

On the tongue, the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell is sweet and has a very faint tartness to the aftertaste that is reminiscent of a fruity frosting more than lemonade. In fact, this tastes like a diluted version of a Betty Crocker canned frosting. It does not taste bad, but it is more of a generically sweet and slightly dry flavor than it is anything like lemonade. The somewhat waxy nature of the shell further dulls the hint of citrus zest in the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell.

While the aftertaste is generally as generically sweet as the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell itself, the Pink Lemonade Magic shell did have a few bites that produces a somewhat fruity aftertaste that almost made me rethink the flavor. Sadly, next bite always returned my opinion to the original one.

Nutrition

Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping is a dessert topping therefore not the most nutritious things in the known world. I was shocked that there was nothing unrecognizable in the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping. The primary ingredients are sugar, sunflower oil, and coconut oil. It is not vegan compliant as a result of milk solids in it.

What is not a mystery is how high this product is in sugars. In each 2 Tb serving of Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping, there are 230 calories, one hundred sixty of which are from fat. There are 8 grams of saturated fat, so one serving of this wipes out almost half one’s ability to enjoy products with saturated fat for a day! There are less than 5 mg cholesterol and a consumer gets 2% of their recommended daily allowance of sodium out of a single serving of this topping! There is a little protein, but not enough to live off this. In other words, this product is not a nutritious food product.

Storage/Cleanup

When one leaves the Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping in its bottle at room temperature, it is easy to use and keep fresh. The bottle of Pink Lemonade Magic Shell we bought was not expiring until late November, so finding it on clearance now had more to do with its lack of popularity than a freshness issue. Given that one 7.25 oz. bottle does not yield anything incredibly flavorful, it was only worth buying on clearance.

Overall

Pink Lemonade Magic Shell Topping was an intriguing concept, but is poorly executed, making it utterly unsurprising that it did not survive long in the marketplace and is already on clearance.

For other Magic Shell ice cream toppings, please visit my reviews of:
Chocolate Fudge Magic Shell
Smucker’s Cupcake Magic Shell
Reese’s Peanut Butter Topping
Heath Shell Ice Cream Topping

2/10

For other ice cream reviews, please visit my Ice Cream Review Index Page!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones Is Poised To Reinvigorate The Young Adult Fantasy Genre And End Summer Blockbuster Season Big!

The Good: Concept, Special effects, Acting
The Bad: Moments of character
The Basics: The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones lives up to those hoping for a strong and compelling fantasy film, though those looking for something truly dark and adult will find it a little lacking.


Every year for the last several, Summer Blockbuster Season has been characterized by several predictable and consistent trends. The major studios release the big special effect-driven movies fast and at calculated intervals to dominate the box office for one or two weeks before the next predicted (and usually) sure thing knocks it off its pedestal. It is not a time of year known for high concept films and by August, the big studios have gotten their year’s worth of ticket sales out of the consumers before hitting the September Slump and then (increasingly earlier each year) Oscar Pandering Season. The August pre-slump is usually the time of year that the studios dump out the comedies and one or two movies that they did not quite believe in enough to release early in Summer Blockbuster Season to even attempt to compete against the big studio releases.

It is there, in the time frame usually reserved for raucous comedies and romantic comedies that make for obvious date fare for the crowds of college-going students returning to campus, that Sony and Screen Gems will release The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones. The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones is based upon a young adult fantasy book (which became a series) and in the interest of full disclosure, I have not read the book series, so this is a review solely of the movie with no basis for comparison. There seems to be a serious bias (in the media) against the young adult fantasy genre and earlier this year the genre took a hit when Beautiful Creatures (reviewed here!) and The Host (reviewed here!) both underperformed. Fortunately for the fans of great cinema, The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones - despite pulling some punches, especially on the gore front – is a more engaging and mature outing than this year’s early genre flops. In fact, despite the love triangle element that might inspire some comparison to The Twilight Saga (reviewed here!), The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones is more like Constantine (reviewed here!) meets Underworld (reviewed here!) than a sappy romance. In fact, to its credit, The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones carefully promises not to pursue the same mundane formula in the sequels by the resolution to this film, which is nice.

Clary Fray is a normal young woman living in New York City (except that, despite her youth, she is able to go clubbing without getting stopped, which given how young she looks forces one of the first acts of suspension of disbelief in the audience) with no clue that she is different from anyone else in the world. However, one night at a club, she watches as Jace Wayland kills another person at the club. She is baffled that no one else in the club, especially security, notices Jace and the next day, Clary confronts him. Her attempt to learn more is cut short by a phone call from her mother that sends her rushing home to discover her mother gone and a demon there. She is attacked by the demon and following the conflict, she is brought to the realm of the Shadowhunters, a world concealed from mundane eyes by a glamour.

The Shadowhunters, supernatural magic users who are fighting against demons here on Earth, are fascinated by Clary as she (if she truly is a mundane human) should not be able to see them. Through the intervention of Brooklyn’s High Warlock, Magnus Bane, Clary and her allies – her friend Simon, Jace, and the Lightwoods, Alec and Isabella – learn that there is a mental block in Clary’s head and that she may have the Sight, due in part to her mother being a Shadowhunter. As Jace and Clary get closer, Simon becomes jealous and hurt, they begin a search for Clary’s mother, Jocelyn, whose abduction seems to be tied to the mysterious Mortal Cup, a Shadowhunter artifact of great power. But Jocelyn’s hiding of the Mortal Cup makes it clear to Clary and her allies that the Shadowhunter who wants the Cup, the presumed-dead Valentine Morgenstern, may have the most sinister of motives.

The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones works as well as it does because introduces the viewer to the universe of the Shadowhunters, demons, and supernatural creatures at the same time as Clary gets her education in the same. While such a formula could be a disastrous excuse for clunky exposition, director Harald Zwart rather effectively uses the film medium to show the viewer the world as Clary sees it. Following the murder at the club her world literally changes overnight into one populated by creatures and concepts that she has not been exposed to before. The result is an unsettling and abrupt change in Clary’s life. Zwart has that world unfold in a way that feels surprisingly organic; Clary starts to see the Shadowhunters and demons all around her and then enters the hidden world from which the movie derives its title.

To its credit, despite having a number of similarities to Beautiful Creatures (up to and including the token wizened black woman who seems to have all the answers about the protagonist’s past), The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones feels remarkably fresh because of the whirlwind pace and the essential quest in the movie. Clary is a young woman in the process of becoming. At fifteen/sixteen, it is entirely natural that she would still be emotionally tied to her mother, especially considering that she has been raised without a father. Losing her mother becomes a very real and relatable trauma for her and recovering her mother roots her in a realistic goal amid all of the supernatural creatures and settings that suddenly surround her. So, despite how painfully good looking everyone is in this version of New York City (and the supernatural underworld there), the essential character struggle for the film is a compelling one.

Furthermore, The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones might well enhance detractor’s opinions of the genre because the essential conflict is not one of “which boy will Clary fall in love with?” While there are romantic entanglements and crushes abound, the focus of The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones remains tightly on Clary learning about the hidden world around her and desperately searching for her mother. Surrounding those two things, Clary learns very important information about her past and is teased with information about the artifacts like the Mortal Cup.

Clary makes for an initially interesting protagonist, which helps make The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones almost instantly engaging. While she makes some foolish mistakes (rushing into her home when the door has been broken off might play well for the hero in a film, but seems utterly uncharacteristic for a New Yorker!), they are easily excused by her age, as is her naiveté in her relationships. While there is an ample supporting cadre of characters, Simon and Jace are nowhere near as interesting as Clary and Valentine, who is set up to be the series antagonist.

The special effects in The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones are rendered in a satisfying and breathtaking way. More than any of the other fantasy films based on young adult fantasy, setting plays an integral part in The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones and Zwart and his team use the effects remarkably well to create that setting. Between the make-up and the sets (given the scope of so many of them, most are digital) Zwart and the special effects team make a fantastic world seem entirely realistic and most of The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones looks and feels like the viewer is immersed in a real world, instead of watching computer generated special effects creatures and places.

On the acting front, Jonathan Rhys Meyers rules his scenes as Valentine Morgenstern. Meyers manages not to make Morgenstern seem like the typical over-the-top villain and he plays the role with enough ambiguity to leave the viewer wondering if his character’s reasons for abducting Jocelyn are truly entirely sinister in nature. More than anything else, Meyers plays Morgenstern as a credible leader. It seems reasonable that others might follow Morgenstern and willingly do his bidding; that comes more from the on-screen charisma of Jonathan Rhys Meyers than from the lines the character delivers. For their brief time on screen, Lena Headey and CCH Pounder both make their characters (Jocelyn Fray and Madame Dorthea, respectively) interesting enough that we care about their fate and believe the information they provide.

The real surprise is how good Lily Collins is. It was easy to write off Collins in the wake of Mirror Mirror (reviewed here!), but in The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones, like her character, she comes into her own. Collins manages to walk the fine line of making Clary seem surprised and unsettled by the world opening up around her without appearing absolutely stupid. Unlike many young actresses today, Collins emotes quite well without leaving her eyes wide and lips spread (seriously, what is the recent trend in actresses never closing their mouths?! That’s not a conversation thing, either, look at Mary-Louise Parker, she seems to have pioneered a whole brainless performance style that has been immediately adopted by directors everywhere who unfathomably believe that it says something about the character or sex appeal of the actress when they never appear on screen with their mouth fully closed.). Instead, she emotes realistically and makes Clary seem alternatively shaken and determined. As a real plus, Collins seems completely comfortable working with digital characters and settings, always landing the eyelines her character needs to be looking in. The result is that Collins helps sell the character and reality of The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones and the viewer comes to care about Clary (which is a big thing for me as a viewer who has absolutely no inherent investment in the characters having not read the books!).

Ultimately, Sony and Screen Gems have the chance to have the last laugh on Summer Blockbuster Season. Going into the September Slump, they provide a film worth seeing and worth talking about, which ought to make The Mortal Instruments: City Of Bones a breakout beyond the already-existing fan base.

For other fantasy films, please check out my reviews of:
Labyrinth
The Last Airbender
Hammer Of The Gods

7/10

For other film reviews, please visit my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the film reviews I have written!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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One Of Burt’s Bees’ Best Formulas Yet! Revitalizing Lip Balm With Blueberry & Dark Chocolate Works!

The Good: Smells great, Offers decent protection, Revitalizes dry skin on lips, Good taste!
The Bad: Expensive!
The Basics: The new Burt's Bees Revitalizing Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate might be the new indispensible Burt’s Bees product!


Despite what many people seem to think, winter is not the most harsh time for lips. Indeed, the sun is just as bright and lips get just as chapped in the summer. And yet, for some reason, most of us do not think to use lip balm as much in the summer. Burt’s Bees and my wife, however, seem to be the exceptions to that rule! Burt’s Bees – last year and this – puts out a whole array of new products in the summer and my wife, being a Burt’s Bees fan, seems to pick up a whole slew of them. This summer, we’re starting with arguably the best Burt’s Bees product to come down the pike in years: Burt's Bees Revitalizing Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate. Having used it daily for the past seven days, with my wife using it as well, I am excited to endorse the product for the simple fact that it actually works!

Burt's Bees Revitalizing Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate is the latest in a long string of lip balms from Burt’s Bees my wife has had to keep our lips soft, supple and kissable. The tube is expensive, in the $5 range in retail stores, and the claim that it is “Revitalizing” is one of the two significant aspects of this lip balm that make it more reasonably priced than actually expensive. The fact that it works makes it worth it price tag.

Burt's Bees Revitalizing flavor Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate comes in the standard .15 oz. tube. It is a discreet plastic tube measuring two and a half inches long by 3/8" in diameter. The Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate it dispensed by simply removing the blue plastic cap (it pulls off easily enough after the safety strip is removed) and twisting a dial on the bottom to push the remaining product up. The Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate itself is a waxy yellow-white (beeswax, actually) colored tube that is rubbed onto the lips and it offers a physical barrier to water and other damaging elements that could crack lips in winter and sunlight which could damage lips in the summer (or winter, whatwith the brightness of sunglare on snow, which I am looking forward to now that I have a good protectant/revitalize!). The product does not leave any coloring on one's lips, which is a plus. However, it does have a somewhat waxy sensation that it leaves on the lips. There is no medicinal feeling to this lip balm.

The sunscreen properties of this Burt's Bees Revitalizing lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate are quite extensive and quite real; while there was no SPF rating on the container, it appeared to keep my lips protected in the sun and water this summer vs. nothing on my lips at all. As well, the lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate worked better than some - like Chapstick - at protecting my lips.

The product has decent restorative properties and the Revitalizing lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate restores slightly damaged or chapped skin to more supple and pleasant states. When I started using the Burt's Bees Revitalizing Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate, my lips were dry and a little cracked. Since starting to use it daily for only six days, it prevented further damage and it promoted healing within a few days of using for the first time regularly. As well, this just kept my lips from getting chapped again. This is a Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate that does a lot to moisturize lips, as well as protect them. Since my lips healed rapidly, the Burt's Bees Revitalizing lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate has prevented them from getting damaged from the elements again.

As well, this product is remarkably easy to apply. It glides on easy and creates a barrier needed to resist the elements. When it is on my lips, I am very aware of its presence for a few minutes because it is slightly waxy. This changes into a somewhat oily texture, but not an unpleasant one.

Burt's Bees Revitalizing leaves no significant color on the lips when it is applied.

On the taste front, the Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate is remarkably subtle. While the scent is robust and a pure blend of blueberry and chocolate aromas, the flavor on the lips is dominated more by the flavor of chocolate than blueberry. This is good because it means there is nothing sour to the taste on one’s lips. The scent implied that this balm would be a wonderful one to kiss other people with, but it has minimal flavor after the first ten minutes, which makes it inoffensive to those who might not like chocolate flavor (who are those people?!).

The Burt's Bees Revitalizing Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate has ingredients on the tube, so be sure to check the package before purchasing for any allergies you might have. But the primary ingredients are: sunflower seed oil, coconut oil, and beeswax. It is worth looking into one's food or chemical allergies before purchasing. It is noted that it is not intended for human consumption.

The Burt’s Bees Lip Balm with Blueberry & Dark Chocolate is incredible and anyone who finds themselves wondering just how much a lip balm can do to improve one’s lips and their day should pick up a tube!

For other Burt’s Bees products, please check out my reviews of:
Medicated Lip Balm With Clove
Soothing Eucalyptus & Menthol Lip Balm
Refreshing Lip Balm With Pink Grapefruit

9/10

For other health and beauty products, please visit my index page for a list of those reviews!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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