About As Bad As The Rest Of The Franchise: Transformers: The Last Knight

The Good: Great cast, Most of the special effects
The Bad: Banal plot, Lack of real character development, Terrible lines delivered unconvincingly by great actors.
The Basics: Transformers: The Last Knight is not great, but it is more par for the course than being truly terrible.


Transformers: The Last Knight is out and the press for it has been pretty bad in general. I'm feeling like bucking that trend to argue that the cinematic Transformers has been pretty lousy in general and Transformers: The Last Knight is pretty much what one expects as opposed to being an all-out terrible film. Transformers: The Last Knight is bad, but lately I've seen far worse films.

Michael Bay has not been recreating Casablanca for the past ten years with the Transformers franchise. He makes films for Summer Blockbuster Season filled with explosions, computer-generated special effects, and direction that lasciviously passes the camera slowly over whatever female lead the film possesses. To be fair to Transformers: The Last Knight, there is far less of the camera exploiting women than in the four prior installments of the franchise. Unfortunately, there are more retcons that place Transformers and alien technology on Earth in the past and make the movie fit very poorly into any continuity with the others, despite the fact that more of the cast from the first three movies recurs in Transformers: The Last Knight.

Opening in Briton during Camelot, Merlin and Arthur enlist Transformers to thwart their enemies. Flashing forward to the present, some Transformers have taken refuge in other countries, while in America the teenager Izabella uncovers a downed Transformer in the ruins of a baseball stadium. Izabella is a homeless girl who is rescued by Cade Yeager. The pair are hunted back to Cade's junkyard by the American military. Colonel Lennox has become aware that the Decepticons under the newly resurfaced Megatron are hunting something that they believe Cade has.

Off Earth, Optimus Prime crashes into Cybertron, which is headed toward Earth with the planet's creator, Quintessa. Quintessa reprograms Optimus Prime to wipe out humanity and remake Earth into a new homeworld for the Transformers. The chase of Cade Yeager takes him to England where Sir Edmund Burton has been part of the line of humans working with Transformers to protect the Earth. Burton brings in Vivian Wembley, the last surviving descendant of Merlin, who has access to technology and information that sends her and Cade under the sea to recover an artifact that will allow them to thwart the Decepticons, Quintessa, and the ensorceled Optimus Prime.

Transformers: The Last Knight is exactly what one expects of a Transformers movie. The human characters are mundane, poorly characterized and deliver far more expository dialogue than anything that is clever and defines the characters in unique and interesting ways. Transformers: The Last Knight picks up after Transformers: The Age Of Extinction (reviewed here!), so it begins with the Transformers abandoned by Optimus Prime who flew off Earth at the end of that film.

Blending the main characters from the early Transformers films - Lennox, General Morshower, and Agent Simmons - with Cade Yeager and newer Transformers like Hound, Transformers: The Last Knight just continues the banal franchise with more explosions, more robot on robot fights and an absurd predicament that absolutely defies rational physics. Transformers: The Last Knight asks viewers to accept as credible that there is a scientist who denies the existence of magic and fantasy in a world with Transformers who fails to point out that a planet-sized object rushing toward Earth would completely destroy the Earth long before that object starts ripping apart the surface and extracting massive chunks of technology. Only the least-sophisticated viewer could believe that the Earth could survive in any recognizable way after the events of Transformers: The Last Knight.

Arguably the most disappointing aspect of Transformers: The Last Knight is that Jeff Bridges does not appear in the movie in any form. Astute fans will note that in Transformers: The Age Of Extinction one of the sound clips used as Bumblebee's dialogue was from The Big Lebowski. Transformers: The Last Knight is like a mini-reunion for The Big Lebowski (reviewed here!) with the return of John Turturro and John Goodman (albeit as a voice-only actor in the film) and the introduction of Steve Buscemi as the Autobot Daytrader. And that was the most exciting aspect of Transformers: The Last Knight.

Sir Anthony Hopkins is wasted as Sir Edmund Burton and it seems like the only reason he is in the film to get the venerable actor to call someone a dick and make other remarks that are well-below his usual level of diction. Stanley Tucci's cameo in the film is virtually unrecognizable and newcomers Laura Haddock and Isabela Moner add nothing significant to the mix. Marc Wahlberg is fine as Cade, but it seems like outside his physical performance, the main reason to have him in Transformers: The Last Knight is to pull off a scene where characters act amazed that Cade has been celibate for years.

The Transformers themselves are hapless robots in Transformers: The Last Knight with no clear sense of boundaries or sensibility. Optimus Prime is reprogrammed by his creator . . . but Bumblebee being willing to sacrifice himself and deliver lines in his own voice is enough to change his programming?! And Prime leaps back up to Cybertron with other Transformers not worrying that he'll simply be reprogrammed again and come back murderous again?!

So, Transformers: The Last Knight is just a pretty bad action adventure film that does the usual Summer Blockbuster Season thing that has been done by the franchise four other times and by far better movies many, many more times.

For other films currently in theaters, please check out my reviews of:
Rough Night
The Mummy
Wonder Woman
Pirates Of The Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales
Baywatch
Alien: Covenant
Guardians Of The Galaxy, Volume 2

3.5/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Film Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2017 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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The Surprise Perfection Of The 2016 Transformers Grimlock Ornament!

The Good: Affordable, Amazing sculpt, Good balance, Great coloring and use of stickers
The Bad: None!, No sound or light effects
The Basics: The 2016 Grimlock ornament is one of Hallmark Keepsake's sleeper hits of the season, making a Transformers ornament indispensable?!


Every year, I review a ton of genre-themed Hallmark ornaments and I tend to try to find at least one that is outside my specific area of interest. When I was growing up, I was a big fan of Masters Of The Universe, while my brother and step-brother were into G.I. Joe and Transformers, respectively. I was never truly into Transformers as my childhood had me fascinated with the blend of fantasy and science fiction that Masters Of The Universe was preoccupied with, as opposed to cars (despite the fact that they changed into robots). So, this year, I picked up the Transformers Hallmark ornament, Grimlock, without any expectations that it might be anything special.

But it was.

In fact, the Grimlock ornament is one that I inspected from all angles top try desperately to find a flaw, but I could not.

The Grimlock ornament is a common-release, mass-produced Hallmark ornament that is the one Transformers ornament produced for the 2016 season and Hallmark and sculptor Jake Angell go everything absolutely right with it!

Basics

The Grimlock ornament recreates the dinosaur robot in solid plastic, with surprisingly solid sticker accents. The ornament, released in 2016, is an amazing recreation of the armored robot as it appeared in the animated television series Transformers and, more accurately, in its toy form. The Grimlock ornament features the robot with its little Tyrannosaurus Rex mouth open with all of the right panels molded and colored onto the ornament. The Grimlock ornament bore an original price of $15.95, which seemed to be a fair price for the 4" long, 3" tall and 2 1/4" wide Hallmark ornament.

Grimlock is the transformed dinosaur robot in its Tyrannosaurus Rex form (did it turn into a robot from the dinosaur?!). The sculpted detailing on the ornament is incredible and includes ribbing and plating that give the character an appropriately robotic look. Angell made the ornament look like it could turn from the dinosaur into a flat-out robot with the detailing on the seams. The little robot Tyrannosaurus Rex arms look adorable and with the robot's mouth open, Grimlock looks the appropriate mix of cute and ferocious.

The coloring for the Grimlock ornament is amazing. This ornament looks exactly like the action figure. Despite monotones that Grimlock is cast in, the ornament looks just like the toy and the Hallmark ornament even includes the stickers making the accents look just like the original toy. Grimlock looks amazing in sculpt and coloring!

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, the Grimlock could have a function like a sound chip or light effect, but does not. This is just an ornament, a low-cost option for those who love Transformers. This Grimlock ornament simply hangs on a tree. Given how few Transformers ornaments there are, there is no reasonable expectation that Grimlock would have had a sound or light effect.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake Grimlock ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate nostalgic toy Christmas Tree, Grimlock is made so well as to be surprisingly essential! The ornament has a steel hook loop embedded in the top center of the character's back, between the dinosaur's shoulders. From that hook, the Grimlock ornament hangs perfectly well-balanced. Grimlock is posed in a fairly neutral pose, but it looks perfectly right, even on the balance front.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Since then, Hallmark has gotten into every major franchise from Disney to Twilight to the Marvel Comics universe. Carlton Cards used to make Transformers ornaments, but Hallmark now has the license and they seem to be prioritizing quality over quantity. Grimlock seems like it would be a great investment for the quality, especially if Hallmark Keepsake keeps up the Transformers line at such a high level of quality!

Overview

The Grimlock ornament is the surprise success genre ornament of the 2016 season and it is one well worth picking up for anyone who loves Transformers, robot dinosaurs, vintage toys or just flat-out awesome-looking ornaments!

For other 2016 genre Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
Death Trooper Rogue One ornament
U.S.S. Enterprise Star Trek 50th Anniversary ornament
Batmobile Batman V. Superman: Dawn Of Justice ornament

10/10

For other ornament reviews, please check out my Ornament Review Index Page!

© 2016 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Michael Bay’s Latest Popcorn Blockbuster Is Everything One Expects . . . Except That It’s Not Terrible! Transformers: Age Of Extinction!

The Good: Decent new characters, Good special effects, Decent continuity and plot concept
The Bad: Formulaic plot, Ridiculous plot/character/directing conceits.
The Basics: More a predictable and unambitious continuation of the Transformers franchise, Transformers: Age Of Extinction is a mildly creative popcorn flick that undermines itself by playing to the worst conceits of the existing franchise.


Were it not for my place as a film reviewer, I never would have watched Transformers, much less all of the films in the recent cinematic empire that has made an obscene amount of cash in remarkably few years. Over the course of the past seven years, Michael Bay’s live-action, CG-effects loaded Transformers franchise has become one of the highest grossing cinematic franchises of all time and a staple of Summer Blockbuster Season. Regardless of my antipathy toward the franchise, Michael Bay’s latest endeavor into the Transformers Saga suffers more from an unimaginative script and a pathetic dependence on the more lascivious elements of the popcorn film than being actually, genuinely terrible.

In fact, outside the way Michael Bay uses the camera to virtually molest yet another female model – in this case one who is playing a minor child – and lamely recreates the familiar shots of convoys of hot, trendy cars that stick out wherever they go. Transformers: Age Of Extinction is actually the best of the franchise (so far), but the dependence on playing toward the lowest common denominator in terms of humor and style (are the only people who would appreciate a Transformers film really those who find a “whoo hoo girl” to be the ideal?!) undermine the quality elements that Transformers: Age Of Extinction possesses. And Transformers: Age Of Extinction actually has some worthwhile elements, most notably in the cast – which replaces Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel, and Tyrese with higher caliber actors like Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci, Titus Welliver, and Mark Wahlbrg (replacing Megan Fox and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley with Nicola Peltz and Sophia Myles is more an even swap-out than an upgrade of any sort) – and the overall plot concept that put it above the prior incarnations of Transformers.

Transformers: Age Of Extinction does what very few popcorn movies do: it is steeped in the consequences of the prior film(s) in a way that makes the continuation/reboot of the franchise surprisingly compelling. Transformers: Age Of Extinction is a direct sequel to Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (reviewed here!) and the wholesale destruction in Chicago and the robotic carnage that happened as a result forces a complete redirection of the franchise. The first half of Transformers: Age Of Extinction is spent introducing new characters and wrestling with the problems left over from Transformers: Dark Of The Moon before the second half progresses the story with how irresponsible humans have led to an unholy alliance and a military/industrial complex that has made a bad decision which “the market” pushes into action before adequate testing. While Transformers: Age Of Extinction predictably lacks compelling character development on the front of the virtual characters, the human characters in the film are more than catch phrase-spewing tools; they have motivations that are more well-rounded and realistic than in the prior movies.

In ancient times, a massive space ship floats over Earth and releases technology that obliterates the dinosaurs. Then, five years after the attack on Chicago (which was the subject of the climax of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon), an archaeology team discovers wreckage of an ancient Dinobot (dinosaur Transformer). In Texas, Cade Yeager and his lackey employee, Lucas, go on a salvage mission where they find wreckage from a failed operation in New Mexico in the middle of a defunct movie theater they are considering purchasing (but cannot possibly afford). Yeager’s daughter, Tessa, is embarrassed by her father as the family struggles to afford her imminent college bills (not to mention the mortgage). But in the wake of a U.S. government team flushing out and destroying the Autobot medic, Ratchet, the head of the task force hunting down Transformers in the U.S., the CIA’s special task force director Attinger, steps up his hunt for Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime, unsurprisingly, is the truck Cade has stashed at Yeager Robotics. Attinger is working with a Transformer bounty hunter who is affiliated with neither the Autobots or the (now completely eliminated) Decepticons and after a disastrous raid on Yeager Robotics, Cade and his family (and Tessa’s boyfriend) are rescued by Optimus Prime. The Yeagers work with Optimus to find what has happened to the remaining Autobots on Earth and their search takes them to KSI, where Joshua Joyce is using the metal from which the Transformers are constructed and the frame of the deceased Megatron to build a whole new race of Transformers. Joyce’s Galvatron manages to hold Optimus Prime in check long enough for Attinger’s Lockdown to enter the fray. But when Lockdown abducts Tessa along with Optimus Prime (fulfilling the deal he had with Attinger), Cade and Tessa’s boyfriend – along with the remaining Autobots – infiltrate Lockdown’s ship on a rescue mission to try to save her and stop the Autobots from ending up as slaves for their original creators.

Transformers: Age Of Extinction is truly an example of “better ingredients, better product” in a lot of ways. For sure, the prior incarnations of Transformers featured acting and vocal talents from some respectable individuals – like John Turturro, Leonard Nimoy, Jon and John Malkovich – but the way Wahlberg, Grammer and Tucci are used in Transformers: Age Of Extinction illustrates a far better use of acting talent than the prior films.

For a film that deals with consequences of the prior movies, there is a strange disconnect between reason and the reality of the Transformers universe in Transformers: Age Of Extinction. Joyce is greedy and motivated by a desire to push ahead human technology using technology scrapped from downed Transformers. Oddly, Joyce is resource poor in Transformers: Age Of Extinction, which makes no reasonable sense. Devastator’s “corpse” alone should have given Joyce enough “Transformium” to build his new Transformers without ever having to hunt Cybertronian fugitives left on Earth.

The Transformers franchise is a film franchise built on the popularity of a toy line intended for boys from the early 1980s and the movies are generally considered “guy movies.” Unlike dramas that focus on deep emotions or romantic movies geared more toward women, “guy movies” tend to trade almost solely on spectacle. The men are manly (Wahlberg certainly fits the bill in Transformers: Age Of Extinction) and the ones who are not traditionally hot are traditionally powerful, which Grammer’s Attinger and Tucci’s Joyce easily embody. But the weakness of the “guy movie” paradigm continues in Transformers: Age Of Extinction with the role of Tessa Yeager.

Tessa is a generic damsel in distress and is something of a hot, idiotic “whoo hoo girl” who fills the requisite T&A component of the Transformers film. This is somewhat creepily executed in Transformers: Age Of Extinction because she is a minor, not particularly talented or smart in any useful way and spends her time in the film with older men, one of whom is her father. Tessa’s relationship with Shane Dyson is a generic plot point: Peltz (Tessa) and Reynor (Dyson) have no on-screen chemistry and their relationship is not presented with any sort or realistic passion or plot-based basis for a relationship. Attinger and Joyce have more on-screen chemistry and character-based reasons for their relationship than the film’s supposed romantic couple.

Before Transformers: Age Of Extinction degenerates into yet another “Optimus Prime and his CG-robots must stop Megatron” film, Michael Bay’s latest entry into the Transformers mythos is intriguing enough to be entertaining and is hardly as misogynistic or slapstick as the prior three films. The result is a popcorn film that is more predictable than disappointing and is hardly as frustrating to admit one has watched than the prior movies in the franchise.

For other films currently in theaters, please check out my reviews of:
The Expendables 3
Guardians Of The Galaxy
Dawn Of The Planet Of The Apes
Behaving Badly
Some Velvet Morning
Happy Christmas
Snowpiercer
22 Jump Street
How To Train Your Dragon 2
Edge Of Tomorrow
Maleficent
X-Men: Days Of Future Past
Echo Dr.
The Double
Bad Neighbors
Making The Rules

5.5/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Film Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Transformers Unencumbered By The Pesky Humans: Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation Still Disappoints.

The Good: Decent sense of bigger picture for the Transformers storyline.
The Bad: No real character development, Terrible sense of movement/artwork, Does not satisfactorily lead into the film.
The Basics: The second of two Transformers graphic novels, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation is not as bad as most, but doesn't lead well into the new film and isn't likely to interest readers who aren't already Transformers fans.


The graphic novel has had an interesting relationship with film the last few years. There have been a number of successful films based upon graphic novels and the flip side of the relationship has been to create prequels for planned blockbusters that stimulate interest in the fanbase. Those are anthologized as trade paperback anthologies usually within a month of the blockbuster's release and help to plug elements of the movie that the filmmakers might not have been able to include. In the case of the Transformers franchise, the producers and writers have had a strong relationship with IDW comics, where they release movie-parallel stories (parallel to their popular, successful and film-independent Transformers comic line) in advance of the latest cinematic outing. For Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, fans got hit with twice the cashgrab with Rising Storm (reviewed here!) and Foundation. I write "cashgrab" because neither book tells an essential story, both have artwork that looks like it was cobbled together from children's drawings and both seem terribly expensive for anthologies of four comic books.

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation was a four-issue limited series which sets up Transformers: Dark Of The Moon (reviewed here!) by exploring the War On Cybertron. Absent the human element, Transformers ought to still be engaging and thrilling, but the fundamental problem with Foundation is that it feels more like what it actually is as opposed to what it should be. In other words, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation feels like a movie tie-in as opposed to a vital story about a robot civilization in decline. It contains the dangling character elements and obvious plot reversals that fans of the Transformers franchise already expect and nothing substantive or new. Without spoiling anything from Dark Of The Moon, Foundation does not adequately set up a relationship between Sentinel Prime and the key elements from the film.

As the war on Cybertron heats up, Sentinel Prime and his loyal general, Optimus Prime, seek an audacious way to end the war and reunite the mechanical life forms that come to be known as Transformers. In a bold move, they bring a star to Cybertron which revitalizes the planet and brings hope to all. With Megatron and Optimus Prime burying the hatchet, it looks as though peace may endure. But soon, Megatron and Shockwave revolt and they become dangerous elements working for Optimus and Sentinel, while still working for their own needs. When Sentinel Prime tries to give Optimus more responsibility, Optimus leads with too loose a hand.

Shockwave, acting as an overpowered police officer, begins to eradicate malcontents within the Cybertronian ranks in a more brutal interpretation of unification than either of the Primes wish. When Megatron splits, Optimus goes after him, reaching a showdown at a Decepticon hatchery as Sentinel Prime prepares to launch his historic Ark.

Unfortunately, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation ties into the first Transformers movie better than the current one as Optimus vows to find the All Spark, not the Ark (which he believes might have been destroyed). The book suffers from three big problems: a predictable plot, lack of character development, and poor artwork. The predictable plot is a tough nut to crack and writer John Barber does the best he can with the material he was given. The truth is, a "War On Cybertron" story has to be somewhat predictable because the whole overall arc of the war was explained in the first Transformers film. So, before opening the book, most readers will already know that Cybertron is dying, the Decepticons are kicking the butts of the legitimate government and the lack of Energon is making everyone on the planet desperate. Filling in the blanks much more than that can be problematic. For example, the addition of Sentinel Prime's world-saving technology being both created and lost pretty much begs the reader to ask, "Were there no Transformers - Autobot or Decepticon - who might have tried to replicate Sentinel Prime's research and results to save everyone?" Because there are thousands of years in the story between the death of Cybertron and the modern Transformers stories and we're meant to believe neither side was ingenious enough to try to do what Sentinel Prime was doing? The loss of the Ark was a crushing blow to Optimus Prime's forces, we get that, but how that loss didn't lead to all-out slaughter of the Autobots when a genocidal maniac like Shockwave is in play is an unfortunate oversight. My point here is that in creating more stories, writers like Barber and the cinematic storytellers make the whole franchise seem somewhat preposterous.

On the character front, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation stumbles not because we know the outcome of the characters' actions from the film, but because the character choices never seem consequential enough. This book isn't an "Optimus Prime coming of age" adventure, it's not a "Megatron fall from grace" story, it's more a "Sentinel Prime is getting old and Shockwave is a psycho" story. There's no growth or development here; Sentinel Prime starts feeling alone because the Primes are gone and Shockwave starts crazy and ends crazy. Those looking for a character journey, arguably the most important part of storytelling, will be lost in this volume.

Which leads us to the artwork, which many readers of graphic novels will say is the most important aspect of the medium. I agree it is important, at least to augment a good story. Great artwork can even raise a lousy story into average territory. That is not the case with Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation. Unfortunately, artist Andrew Griffith seems to have a handle on just how lousy the story of the book is and he makes no efforts to try to improve it through the artwork. This book is little more than a series of surprisingly rough sketches of the robot characters with washed out watercolor coloring to make it look like a contemporary book. Take, for example, the artwork on page 9. The transforming effect is little more vehicles with background robots and the anemic attempt at connecting the two versions of each character falls flat.

The graphic novel can enhance the anticipation for a summer blockbuster, but it helps if the audience that might appreciate being exploited was at least pandered to. I write that tongue-in-cheek, but there is some truth to it. If your audience is 14 - 19 young men who get excited by big explosions and special effects, the least you should do in the graphic novel tie-in is make sure it looks good for them and can offer them some sense of thrill. Transformers: Dark Of The Moon - Foundation does not do that and it, unfortunately, does not pander to the science fiction-loving fans who have rejected the Transformers films as mindless Summer Blockbuster tripe. This just seems to be ideal for Transformers fans with too much money and not enough in the way of high standards.

For other Transformers graphic novels, please visit my reviews of:
Transformers Official Movie Adaptation
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Alliance
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Defiance

2/10

For other graphic novel reviews, please be sure to visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Whine All You Want, But If You Can't Get A Cinematic Crossover Right, Why Bother Doing It? Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm Flops!

The Good: Writer John Barber seems to respect women more than the movie's writers . . .
The Bad: Artwork is terrible, Story is fragmented and does not lead into film well, Predictable plot in many ways, Lack of likeness for human characters.
The Basics: One of the worst comic book crossovers to a major movie event I've yet encountered, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm has vivid coloring, but little else going for it.


With Summer Blockbuster Season upon us, I am reading a whole lot more. No, that's not a typo, I read quite a bit during Summer Blockbuster Season. I get to the movies early, usually armed with new graphic novels that crossover with the big summer movies. Right before Transformers Dark Of The Moon (reviewed here!), I had the opportunity to pick up the prequel graphic novels and I was so disappointed in them that it has taken me this long to get around to reviewing Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm. It was, truly, that bad. And for Transformers enthusiasts, I can honestly say that nothing is lost by not reading this volume before one goes to see the latest cinematic endeavor of Transformers.

As one who was fairly unimpressed by Transformers: Dark Of The Moon, largely by how women were treated in it, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm offers both a remedy and rubs salt into the wound. Carly, Sam Witwicky's new girlfriend, appears in the pages of this book and she is a gun-toting heroine who is her own woman. This is disappointing, as the movie has Carly along mostly for t&a, so one who goes from the book to the movie and treats them as of equal weight within the franchise will wonder what the hell happened to Carly as she degenerates from woman who can take care of herself to pointless damsel in distress.

Rising Storm opens with an oil processing plant in China being rescued by Longarm and Salvage. Their attempt to save humans is abruptly undone when Shockwave appears with Astrotrain and lays waste to the facility and the Autobots. As Starscream tries to sell Decepticon weaponry to humans, Megatron's Brain Unit malfunctions and goes rogue. Optimus Prime and the Autobots adapt to new arrivals, including three sisters who act in concert and have an old grudge with their leader.

Flashback to Cybertron and the last days of the war. There, Shockwave is a deadly presence. While Megatron works to find and understand the Allspark, Shockwave lays waste to the Autobots. As the story unfolds, it is actually Shockwave who arrives at Earth before Megatron, in the Tunguska impact in 1908. Over the decades, the Russians work to restore Shockwave and the Decepticon becomes a force on Earth that has been hankering for revenge when Megatron locates him.

Rising Storm then concludes the journey of Shockwave as the Decepticon returns to full power and massacres more Autobots, in the process exposing Sam Witwicky.

There are two fundamental problems with Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm. The first is that the story is cluttered and the second is the artwork. The cluttered story is annoying because the first chapter of Rising Storm includes an awful number of threads which do not actually connect Transformers Revenge Of The Fallen to Transformers Dark Of The Moon. Plots involving Starscream and the triplets are setups that are not paid off in any meaningful way as Shockwave moves to eradicate the Autobots once and for all. It doesn't take a particularly knowledgeable reader to figure out that if the movie only had less than ten Autobots still living on Earth when they are deported that many of the ones fleshing out the small NEST army in Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm will not survive. Similarly, it does not take a rocket scientist to be unenthused by the peril that Sam Witwicky is put in when one knows he must absolutely survive the dangers to make it to the film this book is setting up.

Unfortunately, writer John Barber doesn't make the reader care all that much about the characters. He makes the passing attempt to make readers care about Director Galloway by putting the pain-in-the-ass government operative in the field with the Autobots. Sure, he has a character arc as he loosens up to the Autobots, but because he does not appear in the movie, his fate is utterly unsurprising and most readers will not bother to get attached.

This leads us to the artwork of Carlos Magno and my title to this review. Magno, whether because IDW ridiculously could not get likeness rights or because he is not a terribly good penciller, guts the visual element of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm. The human characters look nothing like their cinematic counterparts. When I say "nothing like," I mean "there is no real connection between the character on the page and the one on the screen." Magno's version of Sam Witwicky does not resemble Shia LaBeof, Tyrese Gibson and this version of Epps only share skin color, and whatever model Magno was using to make Lennox, it bears not even a passing resemblance to Josh Duhamel. The human characters look nothing like they ought to and for a crossover with a film, a prequel to a film, this is a killing blow.

Moreover, Magno fails to use the medium well. The intrigue of Transformers is based in movement. These are organisms that change rapidly from one thing to giant robots. Failing to capture a good sense of movement is criminal for a franchise where movement is what the characters are all about. Fortunately, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Rising Storm is utterly unnecessary for fans of the films, the Transformers franchise or casual readers.

For other Transformers graphic novels, please visit my reviews of:
Transformers Official Movie Adaptation
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Alliance
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Defiance

1/10

For other graphic novel reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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Legs, Special Effects Robots And Strong "Guy Appeal," Transformers: Dark Of The Moon Is Fine For What It Appears To Be, But Not What It Is.

The Good: Special effects, Elimination of ridiculous ethnic pandering, Generally consistent acting, Moments of plot.
The Bad: Subversive nature of the movie, Ridiculous treatment of women, Obvious reversals, Disgusting abrogation of philosophical high ground.
The Basics: Initially engaging, Transformers: Dark Of The Moon quickly degenerates from a fairly clever science fiction work into an invasion story into a military advertisement.


I have not, traditionally, been a fan of the Transformers movie franchise.  I did not particularly enjoy Transformers (reviewed here!) and I think I liked the sequel Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (reviewed here!) even less. So, it might seem odd that I was the first in my local theater last night for the nine o’clock showing of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. Despite her gasping and “ooh”ing and “ahh”ing each time we saw a preview for the movie, my wife begged off attending with me. Ultimately, I think she was glad she didn’t attend; I came to the point where I was not glad I had gone.

Explaining what is wrong with Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is initially difficult because the film is almost subtle in what it does, but not so subtle that if the viewer is engaged while watching the movie it doesn’t stand right out for them. I went into the movie engaged. I was initially excited because some of the elements that had been very, very wrong with the earlier two installments had been fixed. As my wife pointed out when we watched the other two recently, it’s hard to imagine a super-intelligent mechanical race that still speaks like a bunch of teenage street gang members. In other words, to appeal to the young, hip (and black) audience(s), some of the Transformers in earlier installments spoke more with ebonics and that was pretty ridiculous. That’s gone from this adventure, as is Megan Fox and her unsupported bosom.

Unfortunately, what the movie puts in their place goes from bad to worse on two very important fronts. While Megan Fox’s character in the first two installments had obvious t&a appeal, there was at least a passing attempt to give her character character. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s Carly isn’t even given the passing attempt. She is a pawn and her entire function in the movie is to present a pair of legs that will leave boys, men and many women salivating for weeks, eager to return to the theater just to see them again larger than real life. Unfortunately, this completely mortgages the one strong female character, played by Frances McDormand. McDormand, a universally respected actress of great quality and caliber, appears in Transformers: Dark Of The Moon as Mearing, the Director Of National Intelligence. She starts the movie as a powerhouse and in the last third of the film, I cannot recall any lines she had, save the punchline to her arc with John Turturro’s Simmons. This is because she is lost in a sea of masculine characters and by that point in the movie, it’s appealing to a very different audience, one where respecting women is not a primary concern. But, alas, I get ahead of myself.

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon opens, engagingly enough, with new information on the long-ago war on Cybertron. As the Decepticons moved toward complete defeat of the Autobots, Sentinel Prime created a technology that would definitively end the war with an Autobot victory. Unfortunately, before he could activate this ultimate weapon, the Decepticons shot down his ship and their valuable cargo. Somehow, the escape craft for it made its way to the moon, where it crashed in 1961, sparking the space race. And during the blackout during Neil Armstrong’s moonwalk, two American astronauts uncovered the crashed ship and brought back Cybertronian technology to Earth.

In the present day, Sam Witwicky, hero of two incursions on Earth by the Decepticons, is desperately searching for a job. He is a kept man, living with his new girlfriend, Carly, in Washington, D.C. and striking out at virtually every job interview he has. When his parents come to visit, he redoubles his efforts and manages to score a job in the mailroom of Bruce Brazo’s company. While Sam tries not to be too jealous of Carly and her boss, Dylan, Lennox and the Autobot-allied NEST team work a couple of clean-up operations in the Middle East and one in the Ukraine (at Chernobyl) that goes horribly wrong and exposes a powerful Decepticon, Shockwave.

As the Decepticons start killing off their human collaborators, Optimus Prime reveals that the Ukraine mission has uncovered a piece of technology from Sentinel Prime’s downed ship. Using the ship that brought the second wave of Autobots to Earth, Prime and another Autobot recover Sentinel Prime and five pieces of the ultimate technology from the Ark. Reunited with his former mentor, Prime is thrilled, but his elation is short-lived. Laserbeak, a Decepticon assassin, attacks Sam’s workplace as part of the Decepticon endgame. Sam tries to get Carly to safety, but the pair discovers that Dylan is a powerful collaborator who uses Sam to get information on Optimus Prime’s next move. That next move is one of utter defeat when Sentinel Prime reveals his true intentions and a full-scale invasion of Earth by the Decepticons begins.

Recapping the plot of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon might make the movie sound impressive or engaging (and for those worried about spoilers, Dylan and Sentinel Prime’s betrayals are pretty obvious from the outset because it’s That Kind Of Movie) and it could have been, but that it changes in tone and tenor for the last third. The first portion of the movie is pure science fiction. It’s not always good science fiction, whatwith the announcement that the world is in peril followed immediately by a scene where the viewer is taken to a car museum to look at shiny restored cars and the camera virtually molests Carly, and an appearance by Bill O’Riley. But for the most part, the movie starts well and it gets better. In the middle portion, the betrayals we know are coming arrive; Dylan is too smarmy to be good and the lack of Megatron for the bulk of the film tells anyone with more than a tenth of a brain that Sentinel Prime is not all Optimus hopes he will be. And in that section, the movie becomes a heart-pounding alien invasion flick. It’s a good one, but don’t expect the philosophy of something as smart as V (reviewed here!). No, any sense of what could have been even Autobot philosophy disintegrates when Optimus Prime tells everyone that the plan is to kill every Decepticon.

And then the movie goes to hell for the final third. The last third of the movie is complete, cinematic trash. Indeed, the best possible recommendation I can give in regard to Transformers: Dark Of The Moon is to walk out after the deportation scene. After that, the movie is over. What follows for the final third of the almost-three hour movie is what made me absolutely come to loathe Transformers: Dark Of The Moon. The movie stops being a story and it becomes the job advertisement for the U.S. Armed Forces that the movie was set-up (unbeknownst to the audience in the first third) to be. The last portion of the movie has Epps, Lennox and their teams moving through the besieged Chicago where the Decepticon forces have taken up, picking up different units of military forces and showing off what their talents can do. Sam Witwicky and the audience are exposed to a virtual job fair wherein the paratroopers, Navy SEALS, sharpshooters and ground troops all illustrate their special talents.

It’s dumb. Flat out. People might not want to read such precise criticism, but it’s dumb and it’s exploitative. Readers might want to believe they are watching an epic of science fiction, but they start watching one of the most absurd infomercials of all time. In the final third, Mearing gets all of her information from people who are not even assets and all of the men around her define what is important and essentially make the decisions that she ruled in the first third of the film. This is even more absurd than Carly being dragged through rubble, falling through and out buildings and being proximate to explosions without getting a single stain on her white outfit. And if one wishes to make the argument that I’m reading too much into this obvious candy for Summer Blockbuster Season, I’d ask who is shooting the firearm when the movie suddenly turns into a first-person shooter perspective for a scene?

Who knows? We don’t. We don’t know because that’s not the point. The point of Transformers: Dark Of The Moon at this point in the movie is not anything reasonable, rational or even entertaining. The point of the movie at this point is “You’re looking for a job, these are your options: Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. Pick whichever you want, your life will be exciting like a first-person shooter game and your prize is this dripping chick who wants you, who cares that she can’t string together a coherent sentence? You don’t; you get to be her protector!”

It’s cheap. It’s almost as cheap as the way Leonard Nimoy uses his line as Spock (it’s actually Dickens, not Spock, but Nimoy made it famous for a whole new generation) in the mouth of Sentinel Prime. I had decided to watch Transformers: Dark Of The Moon because I enjoyed Star Trek (reviewed here!) and I thought that this movie might provide some hint as to the quality of the forthcoming sequel. We can only hope it does not go in this direction.

Usually, I spend some time discussing the character development and acting, but I’m done. Sam Witwicky doesn’t develop, he gets tossed around and goes to a job fair. The female characters get put in their places by men who act smarter and more powerful than they are and the acting is entirely familiar. Blowing up Abraham Lincoln was pointless and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley has such a pointless role as Carly that it’s no surprise in the last half that she struts more than acts.

Transformers: Dark Of The Moon might be the best of the franchise, but it’s still a lousy movie, despite the potentials from the beginning.

For other works with Alan Tudyk, please check out my reviews of:
V - Season 1
Serenity
Firefly
28 Days

4.5/10

For other film reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.


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Increasingly Pointless, Transformers Official Movie Adaptation Illustrates What Fans Already Know.

The Good: Establishes the Transformers universe adequately
The Bad: Mediocre illustrations, Jumpy story, No real character development.
The Basics: The Transformers Movie comic book anthology adds nothing to the movie experience and leaves the reader unimpressed on every level.


I began the year devoting a lot of time to graphic novels and trade paperback anthologies (of comic books) because this is a medium which has been expanding rapidly to become the source material for one of my favorite pastimes: watching movies. So, it might be unsurprising that I would look into direct tie-ins like the Transformers Movie graphic novel. Unfortunately, this is one of the most pointless graphic novels one could purchase as it is literally the film Transformers (reviewed here!) as a trade paperback anthology of four comic books. In other words, for the fans who liked the movie, this is just the comic book version of it.

That said, there is no real selling point for this, save (I suppose) that it takes less time to read than the two hour running time of the film. There are no additional scenes in the book, but there are elements which were cut out in order to fit the film's long script into a one hundred page comic book. Having only seen the film once, nothing popped right out at me as missing, but I know some of the scenes were truncated and that the big special effects-driven battle at the climax was also shortened for this adaptation because, frankly, there is less of a sense of movement in the comic book.

For those unfamiliar with Transformers, a United States military installation is attacked and the target of the attack seems to be a classified database. The mechanical assailant, cut off by a hard-line cut, appears to be searching for an object in U.S. custody. In the wake of the attack, Defense Secretary John Keller mobilizes every possible resource to determine who the attacker is and how to disable the new weapon system that seems invincible. Meanwhile, in the United States, Sam Witwicky is a high school junior who is trying to sell his grandfather's relics on eBay to afford a car for himself. His father takes him to purchase a car and he leaves the lot with a little yellow jalopy that he is not truly wild about. The car soon begins to cause problems for Sam, communicating through the radio and doing its best to hook Sam up with an attractive, but snooty popular girl named Mikaela.

The storylines rapidly converge as Sam is hunted by giant robots who realize that his grandfather's glasses contain an imprint with the coordinates to the mysterious object that is being sought by two mechanical armies. As the military forces flee the active Decepticons who are searching for an object known as the All Spark, Sam - and his car, a robot named Bumblebee - is rescued by the leader of the Autobots, Optimus Prime. The Autobots are seeking the All Spark to try to save Earth from the war they inadvertently brought here. The problems multiply, though, when the special teams that converge at the Hoover Dam - where the Decepticon leader, Megatron, has been kept cryogenically suspended for decades - and Megatron is reanimated and the All Spark is left in the hands of a boy.

The Transformers Movie graphic novel is entirely devoid of character development. Instead, this is a plot-heavy book which reads like a comic book. The diction is simple and the story is a pretty direct war story. As well, the story takes time before the Autobots are revealed and it follows very closely with the cinematic rendition. However, as the book plays out, it becomes a bit problematic. For example, many of the major characters look nothing like how they appear in the film. While some panels have Shia as Sam pretty clearly, many of the secondary characters like Agent Simmons do not bear a likeness to the actors who play them.

Just as in the film, the characters are fairly monolithic. The Transformers Movie Adaptation has a lot of exposition, with little alteration or development. As a result, Megatron is still monolithically evil and human characters like Simmons are still devoted to their causes without any sense of growth or change. Instead, this is simply the characters as they were in the film. Even the Witwicky family, which seems tied to the Transformers, is pretty blandly presented.

This begs the question, what is the point? Here, I am at a loss. If screenwriter Alex Kurtzman and comic writer Kris Oprisko used the medium to bring out more elements which they could not develop in the film, this might be of some value. Unfortunately, it is a truncated edition of the movie in a poorly illustrated (well-colored) comic book anthology. The only benefit to getting this in this form is to get the whole comic book story without having to hunt down all four volumes of the comic book movie adaptation. The book nicely includes a cover gallery from all four original comic books, but no other "bonus" features.

In short, this is pointless and because much of Transformers hinges on the special effects brilliance that comes from giant robots turning into cars and trucks, the sense of movement in the comic book medium is distinctly underwhelming. There is no "wow" factor, which special effects buffs did get out of the cinematic Transformers.

Even fans of the franchise are likely to be disappointed by this one.

For other Transformers works, please check out my reviews of:
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen - Defiance
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen - Alliance
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen

1/10

For other book reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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Ever Wonder How Megatron And The Fallen Got Together? Me Neither! Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance!

The Good: Decent-enough artwork, Generally good story
The Bad: Stiflingly average story, Essentially spells out what the Transformers films said, Light on character
The Basics: Disappointingly monolithic on the character front, though quite good with the art, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance is a very average comic book anthology.


As part of participating in Summer Blockbuster Season, I find myself both attending more movies than before and doing a lot more reading. That latter fact might surprise some, but the truth is, a huge part of the media campaign for most of the big summer movies has involved tie ins with books. For sure, the vast majority of them are graphic novels - or more accurately trade paperback anthologies of previously released comic books - but they are making the effort on some level. One film actually had two prequel anthologies and that was Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (reviewed here!), surprisingly enough. Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance is the first of two studio-authorized prequels which were released to support the second cinematic Transformers effort.

The unfortunate aspect of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance is that it is utterly unnecessary. In Transformers (reviewed here!), Optimus Prime tells the story of how Megatron and Optimus Prime had a falling out over the Allspark and in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen, the story of The Fallen is told. This four-chapter graphic novel, then, becomes a redundancy that only the most loyal fans of the cinematic Transformers is going to feel the need to buy, much less read. Unfortunately, the book is stiflingly average and while the artwork is good, the sense of redundancy makes it seem like a cashgrab as opposed to an actual exciting prequel which might lead into the new film.

Starting on Cybertron, the citizens of Cybertron (the Transformers) are experiencing power supply problems and the Allspark is acting up. In their search for supplies, the Transformers have gone forth into the world searching for alternatives. At an archaeological dig of a Simfur Temple, the Allspark is affected and Megatron becomes determined to dig up the artifacts there, believing they are the key to the survival of Cybertron. Optimus Prime, however, urges caution and wants to preserve the integrity of the site. Against Prime's wishes, Megatron digs up an artifact on Trypticon and it soon reveals itself as The Fallen.

While Optimus Prime works to head off an attack by biological lifeforms, Megatron organizes the Decepticons under the guidance of the Fallen. As the Decepticons ruthlessly put down the outside attackers, Optimus Prime organizes the Autobots. But with most of the military and the guidance of the Fallen on his side, Megatron looks like he might just overthrow Optimus Prime!

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance is basically the illustration of all of the backstory that viewers were simply told in Transformers and its sequel. The problematic aspects of it involve the utter predictability of the story and the lack of real character development or surprises. So, for example, when Megatron is killed, this is of utterly no consequence to readers because we know he'll be reanimated somehow (in this case, it is the Fallen who does it) because he is an integral part to both films. Similarly, anyone with any memory for the movies will know exactly who will defect from Megatron's side given that he appears as an Autobot in the films.

This is not to say that prequels are impossible to do or that there is no merit to Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance. The book does illustrate well how Megatron came across the artifact-imprisoned Fallen and how Megatron began his revolt. Unfortunately, details near the end of the book are mostly filler and known filler at that. Optimus Prime making a fragment of the Allspark is something anyone who saw the films already knows and it falls a bit flat in this medium.

Furthermore, it is not like the Transformers are great character studies. Unfortunately, writer Chris Mowry does little to enhance the potential of Megatron or the Transformers in this book. Villains can be compelling characters, but Megatron is no Iago. Instead, in the earliest portions of the book where Megatron and Optimus Prime are working on the same side, Megatron is often contrarian to Optimus, so it is no surprise that he would lead a revolt. Indeed, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance makes Megatron seem like an inevitable "bad egg," like he was bad to begin with, so the character does not so much develop as he finally reaches his potential to do bad works. Moreover, he lacks real motivation: he and Optimus Prime have a pretty simple difference of opinion and he raises a mutiny. It is not like he has a principle or ambition he is fighting for here, he just is a bad guy. This actually undermines his character as a leader character, as he expects others to follow his orders and give him obedience, but he does not have discipline of his own.

In a similar vein, The Fallen is just a generic villain as well, though his character is even more limited, as he is basically a slab with a face that talks to Megatron. The Fallen artifact is able to influence Megatron and reanimate him, but is not a fully present being. As a result, he simply orders Megatron and strangely, Megatron rises on his advice and gives him obedience. Until the film, The Fallen's characterization is somewhat lacking, but what is more important for this story is that Megatron simply becomes his servant and that is underwhelming to readers.

What the book does have going for it is the artwork. Penciled by Dan Khanna, Andrew Griffith, and Don Figueroa, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance looks good on every page. The artwork features recognizable versions of every major character and the sense of movement in the book is pretty consistent. As a result, the flow of the book is good and there is a decent sense of tension and movement, despite the fact that the dialogue is simple and the characters are more archetypes than individuals. As well, the background art actually has good shading and depth, though some of it is quite obviously computer generated.

Still, there is not much to Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance that those who see the movie will not already know or get from the film. The rise of Megatron could have been an interesting story, but here it is condensed and the diction is dumbed down to a movie-watching only audience. Apparently, Mowry and those who run the franchise think that readers and viewers can only deal with heroes and villains who are monolithic and if there was depth and real conflict that tore Megatron and Optimus Prime apart, they might somehow become confused. Sadly, readers expect better and it is easy to pass this trade paperback anthology by.

For other graphic novel tie-ins to major films, please check out my reviews of:
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Alliance
Star Trek: Nero
G.I. Joe: Rise Of Cobra Prequel

5/10

For other book reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.




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The Lesser Of Two Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen Prequels: Alliance Is Just Terrible.

The Good: ? Art gallery at the back of the anthology.
The Bad: Lame story, Lack of character development, ARTWORK, Dialogue, Price
The Basics: Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Alliance fills in the gap with the military and Sector Seven stories between the first and second Transformers films . . . poorly.


As part of the continuing phenomenon of preparing the summer movie audience for the latest blockbuster films, most movie studios now do tie-ins with comic books. Those comic books are later anthologized as trade paperbacks and some actually do valuable work for the audience. Chief among these would have to be Star Trek: Countdown (reviewed here!) which brilliantly led into the last Star Trek by presenting the entire future backstory in the comic book and finishing with literally the first frames of the film. It did exactly what it set out to do and I think I appreciate it more now with a little distance.

Conversely, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (reviewed here!) had two prequel trade paperback anthologies and while one might have actually been average, the other is just terrible. While Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Defiance prepared audiences for the backstory of the Fallen and painted a more clear picture of the fallout between Optimus Prime and Megatron, the other trade paperback anthology does nothing so useful. The second anthology is Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Alliance and it is almost entirely lacking in usefulness or inherent quality. In fact, it acts as a much more literal bridge between Transformers (reviewed here!) and its cinematic sequel. The thing is, it tells a story which is not only unnecessary, but is uninteresting and poorly presented.

With the fall of Megatron after the incident in Mission City, Sector Seven works to cover up the incident. As Sam tries to return to some semblance of a normal life, Captain Lennox and Sergeant Epps are debriefed by Agent Simmons. Simmons wants to keep the whole issue of Megatron quiet while Sector Seven disposes of the downed Decepticon. As they work with Lennox and the military to get rid of Megatron, a signal is sent out and Optimus Prime worries about its intended recipient. Aiding the military, Optimus Prime and the Autobots try to avoid the other Decepticons.

Looking to curry favor with the Fallen, Wreckage comes out of the woodwork to try to recover a piece of Megatron and take his place as the leader of the Decepticons. Starscream thwarts the attempt, but ends up coming onto the radar of the military. Soon, it becomes clear to Lennox that Sam's life will continue to be in danger and with the disposal of the fallen Decepticon leader, he and Simmons try to figure out how to protect Sam.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Alliance is preoccupied with the infighting of the Decepticons in the absence of Megatron and even that story is outweighed by the human story involving Lennox and Simmons. Lennox and Simmons have catty infighting between one another as they slowly start to work with Optimus Prime and the Autobots to clean up the mess from the Decepticon attacks in Transformers. The book references other Transformers comic books and does nothing essential. In other words, this is a poor prequel to Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen because it does not generate additional interest in the new film, nor does it answer any of the questions the film failed to answer (like the bevy of annoying, distracting characters from Transformers that were absent from the sequel).

More than that, writer Chris Mowry doesn't seem to have anything to say in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Alliance. There is no message, no theme, no real purpose. Instead, it's like someone wrote him a check and said, "write a prequel to the new Transformers film." The four chapters of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Alliance ramble between the boringly monolithic Decepticons who turn on one another and the equally bland military forces cleaning up Mission City.

Particularly lame is the dialogue between Simmons and Lennox and Epps. Witty banter that works on screen entirely falls flat in the pages of this book, but Mowry seldom tries. Having recently rewatched both films, the characters do not "sound" like they did on screen; they use a different vernacular and Simmons seems a lot more casual in this book than he did in either film.

What ultimately sinks this collection of four comic books is the artwork. The artwork is sloppy and recognizable characters in this book are not. Simmons looks nothing like John Turturro; I only figured out who he was when he entered the book by his black beret and the fact that his name was written on the page. Similarly, Lennox looks nothing like Josh Duhamel. Sam looks slightly like Shia LaBeouf, but he is barely in the book. As well, the sense of movement in this graphic novel is poor, with lines of motion often obscuring entire transformers, making it unclear what is supposed to be portrayed on the page.

But more than anything else, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen: Alliance is unnecessary because the film fills in the gap between the two films well-enough when the movie begins. This becomes a pretty obvious - and poor - cashgrab with no character development and a pointless, wandering story that does not truly set the movie up.

For other graphic novel tie-ins to major films or television works, please check out my reviews of:
Tron: Betrayal
Terminator: Salvation Sand In The Gears
Heroes - Volume 2

0/10

For other book reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.




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More CG Robots And Megan Fox's Jiggling Breasts Cannot Save Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen!

The Good: Moments of special effect, Moments of story/character
The Bad: Predictable plot, Jumbled effects, Terrible acting
The Basics: With the second attempt to make Transformers an interesting live-action film, Michael Bay and his team give us nothing more than we've already seen before.


As a creative person, it always disappoints me to see things I know I have seen before coming out of supposedly talented individuals. Sadly, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is probably a flick that should have remained a film trailer only. Yes, I'd say it would not be wrong to make the movie trailer and have that be the entire cinematic experience in this case. This might not seem like a surprise, considering how my recent viewing of Transformers (reviewed here!) was enough to convince me not to drive down to a screening in IMAX that the director himself was at. Still, I went into Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen with an open mind and even preparation emotionally for some big, nonsensical action that pretty much defines Summer Blockbuster Season. Unfortunately, this sequel does not even insult the intelligence of the viewer by attempting to be surprising, original or even good.

Building on Transformers, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen has the inevitable return to power of Megatron and the Decepticons and while the viewing experience for the mysticism introduced in the first film might make one think seeing Transformers was essential, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen stands well-enough on its own to not truly need the first installment. The story of what happens between the two films is told in the graphic novels Defiance and Alliances in more depth. As a result, that's a few hours of one's life one may save by not wasting on the first film, though by the end of the two and a half hour sequel, one might wish they simply took my recommendation and passed on this film. It is worth noting, as well, that my critique of Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is biased by the fact that I saw the movie on the big screen. The larger-than-life and often confused special effects are more fun on the big screen, yet will probably be less-overwhelming on the small screen when this arrives on DVD. I'm not sure if that made me rate it higher for the big-screen presentation, but I suspect it might.

Filling in the backstory of the denizens of Cyberton (a robotic race that later split into the Autobots and Decepticons), it is revealed that there was an older society of robots, known as the Primes. The Primes created an energy source, Energon, from stars, but their society fractured over capturing energy from stars with planets where life existed. The Primes thwarted The Fallen's ancient plan to destroy Earth's star by sacrificing themselves. Now, as Sam Witwicky leaves his girlfriend Mikaela behind, Sam heads to college while the Autobots search out and eliminate Decepticon forces on Earth that are still active. Sam, though, soon begins to suffer mysterious visions of symbols written in Cybertron glyphs.

As the Decepticons reanimate Megatron, Sam undergoes a nervous breakdown. On orders from The Fallen, Megatron and his forces regroup with a hunt for Sam as the remaining Prime understands that Sam's visions have to do with the location to the Sun Harvester, the weapon which will destroy Earth's sun. The U.S. military, Sam, the Autobots and former Section Seven agent Simmons converge in Egypt, but the Decepticons meet them there. After baiting a trap with Sam's captured parents, the Decepticons wage a battle which threatens to destroy the entire world.

The sense of scope in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is decent, but writers Alexander Kurtzman and Roberto Orci, teamed for this with Ehren Kruger, have certainly lost their spark on this one. While fans of science fiction will enjoy their tongue-in-cheek references to The Matrix, this is no The Matrix. While the authors rewrote the Star Trek universe quite effectively earlier the same Summer Blockbuster Season, they fail to convince the viewers of the jeopardy to Earth in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. While the idea of the Sun Harvester is not a bad one, there is never a single moment in the film where the viewer honestly believes that Sam, Mikaela, Major Lennox (and sidekick Epps!), and Simmons might fail. To be sure, the guys make a good stab at making the situation seem dire, but they borrow from the animated Transformers film that hit the big screen when I was a kid for their big sense of surprise (or at least the significant death) and that's just sad.

Yes, we've seen it all before. Even as I try to think of what I enjoyed about the movie, it is tough to consider objectively. While Devastator is a pretty wicked Decepticon revealed in the Egypt scenes, it was also in every preview I remember seeing. Yes, you get the best of the film from the trailer as this is probably the coolest, most innovative robot monster introduced in the film. And, without ruining anything, Devastator's exit from the film makes little sense. Simmons, working to save his birthland, calls in a secret weapon (amid some of the dumbest gonad-related humor seen on the screen in some time) which seems to hit Devastator in the shoulder. While this would certainly blow off an arm, it doesn't exactly explain how the evil robot is stopped, other than that it is knocked out of frame.

But this, then, comes back to the fundamental problem with the special effects; the effects are big and ballsy. This is a turn-off-your-brain summer blockbuster with lots of explosions and people running and a final forty-five minutes that have only about ten pages of actual dialogue. But the special effects are often too big and special effects are only special if they are rendered in such a way that the viewer can tell what is going on at any given time. Bay fills his screen with long shots of massive battles with robots and humans shooting everywhere, smoke blowing and giant columns being torn apart and he alternates them with close-ups of robot parts that lack a strong sense of identifiability. And some of the effects work only if one shuts their brain off; the robotic junkyard dog is very cool, but why its spine is covered in gore when it is torn out (even if it is lubricants) makes no real sense.

What also fails to make sense are the characters. Mikaela is little more than Sam's obvious love interest/sexy sidekick, but the writers and Bay give up on even trying to make their relationship make sense. In the midst of the huge battle, Sam orders Bumblebee to take his parents out of the war zone (they pop back up before the battle is actually over with no explanation, so Bumblebee pretty much stinks as a protector), turns to Mikaela and orders her to go, too. She says no and that's the end of it. Call me a romantic softy, but I think if I were trying to save the woman I loved from being crushed to death by psychotic robots with heavy artillery, I might not simply accept her "no" an let it go!

The relationship between Sam and Mikaela and Simmons' sudden desire to explore his heritage are all the character viewers get this round. Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen is dreadful on the character front and it devotes its time and energy to being plot-intensive (though there are not huge dissimilarities between the chase for the All Spark in Transformers and the search for the key matrix in this sequel) and special effects-filled. At least actor John Turturro as Agent Simmons illustrates that the actor wasn't about to waste all his time on screen. Turturro might not be terribly funny in the role as Simmons, but he works with the recognizable bits of a character arc well-enough that the viewer actually cares what happens to his character. Sadly, his is the only one viewers are likely to care about.

Personally, I feel sorry for Megan Fox as Mikaela in Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen. Outside Transformers, I've only seen Fox in How To Lose Friends And Alienate People where she played the over-the-top sex symbol and her role was to glide through her scenes looking beautiful. Michael Bay rides the camera over Fox's curves like a car magazine soft-core photographer and seems content to not have her speak much. Instead, Fox is put in a top with minimal support and run through the desert jiggling. Sure, with all of the explosions going on, there is plenty to draw the eye outside Fox's flopping breasts, but given the target audience, Bay knows where most eyes will be.

And those eyes certainly wouldn't be on Shia LaBeouf, whose acting is so wooden I continue to wonder how he gets work. Granted, LaBeouf is not being asked to recite Shakespeare or even make us care too much about his character, Sam, but when Kevin Dunn outshines LaBeouf as Sam's father constantly (and in the big scene of emotional resonance after Sam rescues him), one wonders how he keeps getting top billing.

On DVD, Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen arrives with a commentary track and an additional disc loaded with featuerettes. Many of the bonus features focus on the special effects, rather than the storytelling elements and those who watched the bonus features to the first Transformers are likely to feel a little cheated; there is not much different in the effects in this film. As well, there is the theatrical trailer to the movie.

Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen sets up for a sequel and while we can hope it might be better, it seems a vain hope. Given the chance to explore the characters of the Transformers universe, the writers returned to that franchise with more absurd plots (we never believe Earth's sun will be obliterated by The Fallen), more complicated special effects and more obvious exploitations of the franchise's most recognizable asset.

For other works by Alex Kurtzmen and Roberto Orci, please check out my reviews of:
Fringe - Season Two
Fringe - Season One
Star Trek
The Proposal
Lost

3.5/10

For other film reviews, please be sure to visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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