Kevin James Meanders Through The Erratic Spoof True Memoirs Of An International Assassin!

The Good: Performances are all right, especially the supporting ones, One or two clever moments
The Bad: Mostly dull characters, Erratic plot, Not very funny at all.
The Basics: True Memoirs Of An International Assassin is a truly mediocre comedy that never quite pops.


Netflix original films have been, unfortunately, a comparative disappointment relative to their original television programming. I sat down today to True Memoirs Of An International Assassin with understandably low expectations based on having seen a preview for the film and not being blown away by the premise and being unimpressed by other Netflix Original Films. But, low expectations or not, I sat down to True Memoirs Of An International Assassin with an open mind looking for something to make me laugh.

It failed.

True Memoirs Of An International Assassin is a comedic rendition of ideas that were presented in the superior films The Words (reviewed here!) and Stranger Than Fiction (reviewed here!), but with an action-adventure context to them.  Unfortunately, so many of the jokes and reversals are reused in the one hour, thirty-eight minute film that is starts to play as stale very quickly.

Opening with Mason Carver, an assassin who is in the middle of breaking up an illegal deal on the docks, getting blown up, the author of Carver's story recognizes that he has written himself into a corner. Figuring the scene out, author Samuel J. Larson manages to save his protagonist and the woman, but finds it hard to close the scene. Larson visits his friend, ex-analyst, Amos, who tells him the story about the assassin known only as "The Ghost" and Larson has his exit lines. Six weeks later, his book is picked up by an online publisher and Sam sells his book, which suddenly starts selling a ton of copies after his publisher/agent, Kylie Applebaum, lists it under "non-fiction." After losing Amos's friendship and running out on a Katie Couric interview, Larson finds himself in real peril.

Larson is kidnapped and taken to Venezuela where he is interrogated by Venezuelan guerillas, led by El Toro. Ruiz wants "The Ghost" to kill "President" Cueto, who is essentially a dictator installing himself for his next term. Larson is paired with Juan, who has already figured out that he is not The Ghost and they head to Caracas to gain intel before killing the Venezuelan President. When he escapes to the corrupt police, he is rescued by a DEA agent who wants to use him as bait to infiltrate drug lord Anton Masovich's compound. Masovich wants Larson to kill El Toro for him to help his business interests. Kicked between the three competing elements in Venezuela, Sam Larson must rise to the occasion to bring the criminals in Venezuela to justice with Rosa Bolivar.

Once upon a time, Kevin James impressed me with his performance in Here Comes The Boom (reviewed here!) and he is a credible protagonist for True Memoirs Of An International Assassin, at least for the parts where he portrays a writer. James is surprisingly good by nailing it through the action sequences where he plays Mason Carver without looking . . . well, like he's an out-of-shape writer who is running around using weaponry that it out of his league. James does especially well in playing the physical confidence of a writer who plays with weapons to familiarize himself with them. But while he is able to get through the physical rigors of the alternate role he plays in True Memoirs Of An International Assassin, James is surprisingly unfunny in his portrayal of Larson bumbling his way through conversations with guerilla leaders and drug kingpins.

Zulay Henao is good as DEA Agent Rosa Bolivar. She has a strong physical presence in True Memoirs Of An International Assassin and she presents Bolivar as both competent for a field agent and ethical in her role working for the DEA. While Bolivar would never be a legal agent on her own in Venezuela, Henao makes her character seem plausible.

The real surprises of True Memoirs Of An International Assassin are Kelen Coleman and Rob Riggle. Coleman has amazing control over her facial expressions to play Applebaum as smarmy and her second scene with Kevin James is the high point of humor in True Memoirs Of An International Assassin. Riggle manages to get through True Memoirs Of An International Assassin without descending into his loud, angry shtick and his brief role as a CIA agent is arguably his most varied performance of his career . . . and he's funny when he deadpans!

True Memoirs Of An International Assassin is essentially an action film that is loosely held together by Kevin James as Larson declaring that he needs to use the bathroom. The film is a mess when it comes to technical details - why kind of safe house doesn't have curtains?! - and the direction telegraphs almost all of the scenes that have James playing Carver instead of Larson. Director Jeff Wadlow delivers very little flair with the presentation of True Memoirs Of An International Assassin and it is hard not to feel bad for Wadlow when Netflix cheaped out on the film's locations (El Toro's compound sure looks like a reused location from Special Correspondents . . . they didn't even redress it!).

The only real cleverness in True Memoirs Of An International Assassin comes in the first scene where the CIA agents are introduced and the organization is characterized as a bumbling, uncaring, incompetent agency that has no real regard for protecting American citizens. Amid all of the over-the-top action and attempts a humor, the initially subtle jab at the intelligence agency that has had an unfortunate number of public failures is pretty funny.

But it is not enough to save True Memoirs Of An International Assassin. True Memoirs Of An International Assassin is not funny and it is not particularly clever, making for a film that is more bland than it is worthwhile to watch.

For other Netflix exclusive films, please check out my reviews of:
I Am The Pretty Thing That Lives In The House
Mascots
ARQ
XOXO
Tallulah
Special Correspondents
The Fundamentals Of Caring
The Ridiculous 6

3.5/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Film Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2016 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Kick-Ass 2 Is What We’ve Seen Before: Only Bigger!

The Good: Moments of performance, Special effects
The Bad: Nothing stellar on the plot or character fronts.
The Basics: While not bad, Kick-Ass 2 adds little to the franchise that the viewer did not already know from the first film: most people can’t realistically be vigilantes and criminals will respond by escalating in kind.


As Summer Blockbuster Season transitions into the September Slump, I am catching up on the last few films I missed in theaters the last few weeks. While Oscar buzz has begun with Lee Daniels’ The Butler, I chose as the first film I would check out after my vacation: Kick-Ass 2. This weekend and most of September seems to be crammed with sequels, so I thought I I’d start with Kick-Ass 2. I vaguely remember watching Kick-Ass (reviewed here!) and I recall liking Super (reviewed here!) a bit more, at least for the concept and characters. So, I had no special attachment to the franchise going into Kick-Ass 2.

Kick-Ass 2 largely reinforces what Kick-Ass illustrated: vigilante justice is impractical and the response is an escalation of villainy from the criminal element. The crimes and scale are bigger in Kick-Ass 2 than they were in Kick-Ass, but in many ways the movies are so similar as to make one wonder why the studio bothered with a sequel. While the film begins with a fairly practical concept, it degenerates into an unrealistic bloodbath that is far from entertaining. The level of gore and violence that Kick-Ass 2 sinks to is unpleasant and it is easy enough to see why Jim Carrey, who plays Colonel Stars And Stripes for a brief time in the film, did not want to devote time to promoting the film.

Two years after Kick-Ass tried to stop crime on the streets, Dave Lizewski is a bored high school student, who yearns for the excitement of being a super hero. As it turns out, he inspired a whole wave of new heroes. So, he hunts down Mindy, who was Hit-Girl, and he begins getting trained by her. Despite getting the crap kicked out of him and Mindy’s guardian - her dead father’s partner, Marcus – getting wise to where she is skipping out to during school hours, Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl take to the streets again. At this time, Chris D’Amico – who has essentially been under house arrest – inadvertently kills his mother and starts plotting revenge on Kick-Ass for killing his father.

As Kick-Ass finds himself in the company of other vigilantes – starting with Dr. Gravity and then Justice Forever, which is led by Colonel Stars And Stripes – Chris turns his mother’s S&M gear into a new costume and takes on the persona The Motherfucker. The Motherfucker assembles a team – buying loyalty – of villains to go on a rampage through New York City. While Justice Forever begins doing good works, the Motherfucker and his team awkwardly begin to execute vengeful plans. The NYPD reacts by locking up all masked heroes and when the police come for Kick-Ass, Dave’s father takes the fall . . . a move that puts him at the mercy of the Motherfucker’s henchmen. While Mindy overcomes the mean girls in her school, she is unwilling and unable to aid Dave and Justice Forever, but in the wake of Dave’s father’s death, she returns to her costume to try to save New York from the Motherfucker’s violent reign and impending fertilizer-based bombs.

Right off the bat, I liked how Marcus Williams was not treated like a moron. He is a police detective and Mindy’s guardian, so the fact that he tails her and stops trusting her when she resumes her life as Hit-Girl seems both smart and realistic. He does not simply let Mindy walk all over him and he does his best to do right by his dead friend and that made him seem credible as both an individual and a police detective. That almost instantly sets Kick-Ass 2 apart from any number of movies with young people as the main protagonists; the adults in this film are hardly idiots and the young people are not nearly as smart as they think they are.

Kick-Ass 2 illustrates well the cycle of violence in the United States and how violence begets violence. Unfortunately, the film offers no real solutions. Instead, Kick-Ass 2 is the tale of escalation with no end in sight. While many of the vigilantes in Justice Forever have good ideas in their hearts, they quickly get sucked into the less noble struggle that quickly becomes Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl doing little more than fighting for survival.

What is notable in Kick-Ass 2 is the acting. Jim Carrey makes great use of his brief time on-screen to make Colonel Stars & Stripes seem unlike other characters he has played. There is no hint of, for example, his performance as The Riddler from Batman Forever (reviewed here!) in Colonel Stars And Stripes. Carrey’s part is to seem like a practical leader for Justice Forever and he does that well.

The young talent in Kick-Ass 2 does well. Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, and Chloe Grace Moretz rule the film and they play across a wide array of realistic and deep emotions, while also managing to later credibly beat the living crap out of one another on screen. Mintz-Plasse makes Chris seem realistically angry after years of trying to get over his father’s death and Taylor-Johnson plays sorrow and loss when Dave’s father is killed with apparent ease. Chloe Grace Moretz (Hit-Girl) holds her own with Morris Chestnut (Marcus Williams) and reaffirms that she truly is one of the more impressive young talents on screen today.

Despite the talent involved, there is little new or truly engaging in Kick-Ass 2. For fans who want to see the film, there seems like there would be nothing lost seeing it on the small screen as opposed to shelling out for the theater experience. While it might be worthwhile for fans to watch on DVD, it’s not worth going out for.

For other superhero films, please check out my reviews of:
Marvel Cinematic Universe - Phase 1: Avengers Assemble
Thor: The Dark World
Man Of Steel

4/10

For other film reviews, please check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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