An Affair To Forget: The Affair Of The Necklace

The Good: Excellent cast, Two lines of dialog
The Bad: Lackluster acting, Dismal plot, Uninteresting characters, Repetitive use of footage
The Basics: The Affair Of The Necklace relates a ridiculously complicated and equally pointless tale of a young woman who inadvertently helped cause the French Revolution.


There ought to be a rule about actors appearing in period films. If you appear in a film set in the past, you may only appear in another one if your role is very different and the overall story of the movie is significantly different. As it stands, one of the necklace-making Monsieur's of The Affair Of The Necklace is the Doje in Dangerous Beauty and I found that somewhat distracting. This is not an exceptionally serious complaint, but it is the start of a litany of strikes against The Affair Of The Necklace.

The tagline for this cinematic dud is "Her birthright was stolen. Her Dignity Taken. Her Rights Denied. Deception Was The Only Option." This sets one up for a movie very different from the one I watched. The first hurdle is that the implication of the tagline is that somehow the necklace in the story is the protagonists birthright, which it is not. The second is the idea that the protagonist somehow starts at a point of serious devaluation and must rise above it. As becomes evident in my description of the plot, this is patently untrue.

Jeanne St. Remy de Valois is a young woman who was orphaned when her liberal, almost revolutionary, father spoke out in the French government for the rights of the working class person and the importance of keeping the masses happy, as opposed to simply controlled. Jeanne's earliest significant memory was of watching her father beaten to death and their house gutted by French soldiers. Now, years later, Jeanne works to gain her family name back but finds the way blocked by a Minister of Titles that hated her father and what he stood for and a monarch (Marie-Antoinette) who will only ignore her.

Thus, unable to get back her ruined family name and claim her father's decent estate, Jeanne meets up with a gigolo, Retaux de Vilette, and together they scheme to get her title back by enlisting the aid of Cardinal Louis de Rohan and then betraying him.

As far as stupid premises go, this has to be one of the top ten in human history. The Affair Of The Necklace makes the point of observing that the events in the film happened, which makes the story even more agonizingly stupid. The story is a convoluted mess of conspiracy and lies that is simplified thus: Jeanne wants her childhood house back, but cannot get it because she is a woman without a title. Marie-Antoinette ignores her, so Jeanne enlists a political adversary of the queen, Cardinal Rohan, to help her under the guise of him helping himself. Two jewelers, in the meantime, have made an insanely expensive necklace for Marie-Antoinette that she does not want. The jewelers enlist Jeanne to get Marie-Antoinette to buy the necklace so they aren't out the huge sums of money. Jeanne convinces Rohan that Marie-Antoinette wants the necklace (she doesn't) and that by helping her obtain it using his vast fortunes, he will be back in her good graces. Jeanne, I suppose, presumes that when Rohan and Marie-Antoinette have reconciled as friends they will want to do her the favor of restoring her title. It's a somewhat ridiculous and convoluted plot that is not as incomprehensible as it is pointless.

Jeanne's quest is utterly pointless given her position and desires. Jeanne wants her father's house back and she wants the family title. The first goal is easily obtainable - even for a woman of her moderate social position - by simply marrying one who is fabulously wealthy, a characteristic that several of the characters portray in the movie. But the second goal is utterly ludicrous. Why should Jeanne wish to get her family's title back? Her family has been disgraced and seen as traitors. It does not take a rocket scientist to realize that having the Valois family name will associate her with traitors and revolutionaries to all those who hold the power. How far could she truly expect to get with a family name that is so marred?

I suppose in reality, people are less sensible than in fiction, which is why Jeanne is so utterly irritating to watch.

So, to go back to the tagline for the movie: Her Birthright was Stolen; So what?! It's a pretty crappy legacy for one who wants anything in pre-Revolution France. Her Dignity Taken. No evidence of that; she only seems to try the least dignified ways to get back her title. Her Rights Denied. Not really; she seems to have a remarkable freedom of movement and speech throughout the film. Only her land rights were denied and given that she married for one title, it seems inconceivable that she would not have considered marrying someone better for an even better title. Deception Was The Only Option. Certainly not. There were other options still available to her from marrying better to using the wealth she made of Cardinal Rohan early on to simply bribe the Minister of Titles.

The real downfall of The Affair Of The Necklace is in its presentation. First, the childhood scenes of the Valois Family Manor getting torched is repeated with annoying frequency throughout the first half of the movie. Second, the characters are not presented with any flair or real character and there is absolutely no chemistry between Valois and Retaux, which forces the least interesting almost-sex scene I've seen in years.

But the ultimate letdown is in the players. The cast is pretty incredible, with Jonathan Pryce, Brian Cox and Christopher Walken being names to draw in a lot of viewers. Unfortunately, not one of the actors is playing their a-game. Pryce is dull, Cox is uninspired, Walken lacks his usual charisma. Simon Baker as Retaux de Vilette is bland and Hillary Swank lacks any character or screen presence as the protagonist Jeanne. Indeed, throughout my viewing of The Affair Of The Necklace, I kept thinking that Swank looked a lot like Jennifer Garner and I was glad that Garner had not gotten dragged into this piece of crap.

Who will enjoy this? Beats me; I didn't and I like period films and love history. Who won't like this? Anyone who enjoys a good plot, decent characters and an excellent use of talented actors.

For other works with Hilary Swank, be sure to visit my reviews of:
Million Dollar Baby
Buffy The Vampire Slayer

3/10

For other film reviews, please check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the film reviews I have written!

© 2012, 2005 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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A Good Story Paired With Less Thrilling Ones, The Flash: Emergency Stop Is An Uneven Anthology!

The Good: Decent primary story, Interesting-enough villain, Cool solution/artwork
The Bad: Last two chapters are wildly erratic, Does not include the full story.
The Basics: The Flash: Emergency Stop has a decent story paired with two vignettes that are alternately not about Wally West and incomplete.


As my Flash Year continues, I am excited that I continue to manage to get in new Flash books to read in time to enjoy them and keep them more or less in the proper order that they were written. It looks like I am coming out of the Mark Waid period of The Flash and entering the Grant Morrison era. Grant Morrison, unfortunately, is not my favorite graphic novel writer. His Batman R.I.P. (reviewed here!) was a disappointing cop-out that did not live up to the book’s title and despite how everyone else claims that Final Crisis (reviewed here!) is a masterpiece, if you actually read the graphic novel by Morrison, it is missing huge chunks of the story, making it virtually unreadable.

So, when I got in The Flash: Emergency Stop and saw that it was written by Grant Morrison, I did not exactly jump up and down for joy. Instead, I waited until I should read a Flash graphic novel in my review rotation, then sat down to read and consider the book at hand. Sadly, Morrison does not exactly get a pass with me on The Flash: Emergency Stop. The main story, the multi-chapter “Emergency Stop” storyline, is good and it works pretty well. But, alas, the trade paperback anthology The Flash: Emergency Stop is not just that one story. Instead, it is “Emergency Stop” and two other stories. As I do not care at all about the Jay Garrick version of the Flash and I had not read the two other parts to the crossover event “Death At The Top Of The World,” the latter parts of The Flash: Emergency Stop were a wash for me.

When Wally West's dead body is found in Keystone City with a note declaring that the murder will occur in an hour, Max Mercury, Jay Garrick and Bart Allen are alarmed. Wally is pulled out of a date with Linda Park and returns to Keystone City to deal with the situation. As the deadline looms, an old villain resurfaces. The Suit is quickly determined to be the villain responsible for Wally’s death and in attempting to stop him, Wally purposely creates the time loop needed to put his apparently dead body back in time. The Suit, as it turns out, has absorbed the abilities of a villain with limited time travel capabilities.

When the Suit advances upon the Keystone prison, Wally West in unable to intervene as his legs have been entirely shattered by the villain. As Jay, Max, and Impulse try to thwart the Suit, by keeping him off balance (mentally), Wally works desperately to speed up his healing. Instead, Wally taps directly into the Speed Force and makes a physical embodiment of it as his new suit. When Max is absorbed by the Suit, Wally must try to thwart the adversary while saving his old friend’s life!

While Wally remains laid up following his encounter with the Suit, Jay Garrick takes over as the Flash in Keystone City. In the process, he finds himself trying to save the life of an old supervillain called the Thinker. While he celebrates his fiftieth anniversary with his wife, Joan, Jay tries to find a way to stop a giant tumor from killing his former adversary and now friend. This puts Jay in contact with many of his old superhero associates while searching for the Thinker’s helmet and gives Jay a new perspective on life and death.

Finally, there is third act of story that was a crossover with Green Lantern and Green Arrow. Apparently, Wally, Kyle Rayner and the Green Arrow all went on a cruise up to the north pole. There, the villains Heatwave, Sonar, and Hatchet resurrected their leader, Polaris and sank the cruise ship. Forty-two people died and the villains were put on trial, with the testimony from the heroes and the verdict being presented in the chapter that is contained in The Flash: Emergency Stop. This is roughly like watching The Matrix: Revolutions (reviewed here!) without any of the other movies in the series; it is hard to tell what is going on and even harder to care.

The Flash: Emergency Stop is good, but erratic. The last two stories in the book bring the rating down significantly. Unfortunately, as a trade paperback anthology, The Flash: Emergency Stop makes way for stories that are incomplete or of less interest to fans of Wally West. With that being my main criticism of the entire volume, the rest of the review will just focus on the “Emergency Stop” section of the book.

I’m discovering I am a fan of Wally West, even if none of the artists seem to be able to agree upon what he looks like outside his costume. The Flash: Emergency Stop has him making a character leap after he is crippled. Forced to endure a wheelchair, Wally West essentially turns into a Green Lantern (not literally) when he uses his force of will to tap directly into the Speed Force. His new costume for a portion of the book (why doesn’t it stay that way?!) is bright and gold and allows him to move superfast, despite the fact that his legs are still shattered. That is pretty cool and it does beg the question at what point do the Green Lanterns get bumped because someone else has greater willpower than themselves?

The Flash: Emergency Stop is a pretty straightforward “thwart the villain” type story. I enjoyed the fact that there is some debate over whether the Suit is organic, technological or supernatural. When the answer is given, it is satisfying enough and the resolution to the Suit conflict is a decent one. Beyond the new villain, though, The Flash: Emergency Stop is very typical and once more, Wally West is part of a team effort, as opposed to standing on his own as a hero in his own right.

The artwork in The Flash: Emergency Stop is universally good, so the book holds up well, despite the coloring being a little more monotonal than current standards. In the end, The Flash: Emergency Stop is worth reading, but a tough sell for purchasing.

For other Flash graphic novels, please be sure to visit my reviews of:
Born To Run
The Return Of Barry Allen
Terminal Velocity
Dead Heat
Blitz
The Secret Of Barry Allen
Flash: Rebirth

5/10

For other book reviews, please be sure to visit my Book Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the book reviews I have written!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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A Retro-active Backstory Makes Dukat More Creepy And Kira More Confused In “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night”

The Good: Decent acting, Good character development, Interesting continuity
The Bad: Weaker plot, Creates some disturbing questions to be raised
The Basics: In “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night,” Kira learns Gul Dukat and her mother were involved and she travels back in time to confirm that, quickly getting involved with the Resistance when she does.


One of the problems with having a whole room full of writers and not having the entire backstories for your characters determined in advance of ever starting a serialized television show is that sometimes, you end up with problematic inconsistencies. In Star Trek: Deep Space Nine there are not too many huge problems that come from retroactively creating backstory for characters, but "Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night" is one where there are some issues.

“Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night” marks the return of Gul Dukat following his disappearance in “Waltz” (reviewed here!). It also marks the return of a sane Gul Dukat, albeit through time travel. Despite all of the other problems with the episode, that is exceptionally refreshing to see. In “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night,” viewers are given a glimpse of a portion of the Occupation very different from what we’ve seen in “Necessary Evil” (reviewed here!) and “Things Past” (reviewed here!). It is one that is troubling because it offers a view of the Occupation from the perspective of the collaborators characters like Kira have hated all along. In true Star Trek: Deep Space Nine fashion, “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night” presents a remarkably complicated view of those who went along with the Cardassians.

On the anniversary of her mother’s birthday, Kira gets flowers from Quark, which she refused to talk to Dax about. She is irked, then, to be awoken by a transmission from Gul Dukat who recognizes the lilacs as a favorite of Kira’s mother, Kira Meru. When Dukat claims to have known Meru, Nerys gets upset. When she is unable to find sufficient contradiction to Dukat’s claim, she asks Sisko for leave to use the Orb of Time to get answers. He consents and Kira Nerys is transported back in time to the Occupation. Assuming the name Luma Rahl, Nerys encounters her mother, Kira Meru at the refugee camp. When the women are rounded up for entertainment aboard Terok Nor, Rahl and Meru are selected.

Aboard Terok Nor, the two women – who manage to get assigned to the same quarters – are trained by the collaborator Basso on how to be a serving woman for the Cardassians. While Meru is shocked by the size of the room and the variety of food, Kira is all-business. When the women are put in a line-up, Gul Dukat takes notice of a scar on Meru’s face. Healing the scar, Dukat begins a relationship with Meru, a relationship that puts Kira at odds with her.

“Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night” is an appropriately disturbing episode on several fronts. First, it is difficult for anyone with a reasonable amount of empathy to watch the Bajorans be enslaved by the Cardassians. The scenes in the past are pretty troubling, though they are not overly explicit. Even the idea of exactly what Nerys and Maru are expected to do as “comfort women” is kept appropriately vague.

Moreover, when Kira gets involved with the Resistance in the past, the viewer has to have a pretty good idea that she cannot possibly succeed in killing Gul Dukat. After all, if he is dead in the past, there would be no Dukat in the future to create an alliance with the Dominion that could cost Bajor and her allies millions of lives . . . wait, why shouldn’t Nerys kill Dukat in the past?! Oh, because it’s Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and it is about the character journey, not the plot elements. “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night” is about Kira Nerys growing as an individual.

That character development is good and it takes Kira to a better emotional place where her character might well become a great leader in the Star Trek Universe, even though it is the logical corollary to the lesson she learned at the climax of the first season episode “Duet” (reviewed here!). Like most character journeys, hers does not come all at once and “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night” takes her another important step on that road.

Unfortunately, the character growth for Nerys comes at the expense of one of the key elements of Gul Dukat’s characterization. Dukat has a photographic memory and has been characterized throughout the series as incredibly intelligent. Are we to assume that somehow he had a blind spot for Kira Nerys, a woman he has flirted with quite a bit? There is something beyond icky about the character who did not recognize Nerys when he first encountered her (“Necessary Evil”) despite her bearing a strong resemblance and the family name of the woman he had been, up until recently, having sex with. So Dukat’s backstory gets a little murkier as a result of “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night.”

The acting in “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night” is very good. Leslie Hope has a good outing as Kira Meru and Thomas Kopache reprises his role as Nerys’s father well. Even Wayne Grace makes the most out of his brief guest starring appearance as a Legate who Kira gets stuck with, in the process revealing that Dukat has a routine for picking up Bajoran women. Grace has great deliveries, rambling his way through the lines in a perfect drunken fashion. By contrast, David Bowe is loud and in-your-face offensive as the Bajoran collaborator Basso. The lack of subtlety in Bowe’s performance actually makes his character work, much the way the subtlety in Grace’s acting makes his shorter role memorable.

The episode largely comes down to Marc Alaimo and Nana Visitor on the acting front, though. It is nice to see the two interacting where Dukat is not throwing himself at Kira. As a result, Alaimo retroactively illustrates how Gul Dukat could have obtained power and retained it using his impressive charisma. Similarly, Visitor makes what is a pretty complex character journey seem plausible in only forty-three minutes. Visitor softens Kira Nerys up in a reasonable way by playing the character as deeply conflicted for most of the episode. That works well for the purpose of “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night.”

Ultimately, though, “Wrongs Darker Than Death Or Night” is not a great episode, but it is engaging enough to watch and rewatch and despite how creepy it is for those who remember the character traits of those involved, it holds up better than one might think.

[Knowing that VHS is essentially a dead medium, it's worth looking into Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - The Complete Sixth Season on DVD, which is also a better economical choice than buying the VHS. Read my review of the penultimate season by clicking here!
Thanks!]

For other works in which Wayne Grace appears, be sure to visit my reviews of:
Mulholland Drive
The X-Files - “Humbug”
Star Trek: The Next Generation - “Aquiel”
Dances With Wolves

7.5/10

For other Star Trek episode reviews, please visit my Star Trek Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the Star Trek episode, movie, and season reviews I have written!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Simple, Fast And Deadly, The Blackest Night Black Lantern Black Flash Is A Creepy Cool Figure!

The Good: Cool sculpt, Good articulation, Generally good balance
The Bad: Could use more foot articulation, Collectible value
The Basics: On its own, the Black Lantern Black Flash is a powerful, creepy villain action figure!


I have been, pretty rapidly, amassing a decent collection of DC Direct action figures, most from the Blackest Night and Justice lines. As it turns out, one of the figures I had pretty happily passed by before is now one of the figures I am glad I picked up. As my Flash Year has continued, I have been getting more and more into the Flash, especially the Wally West-era Flash. As a result, I like the villain Professor Zoom (both of them!). In The Flash: Rebirth (reviewed here!), Eobard Thawne resurfaces and he has to be imprisoned in Iron Heights. That does not stop the Black Lantern version of him from popping up.

For those unfamiliar with him - or it - Black Lantern Black Flash is undead version of Professor Zoom, come back to take out the Black Lanterns during Blackest Night: Black Lantern Corps Volume 2 (reviewed here!). Hunting his way through Iron Heights, he is basically a specter who is preying upon the dead while getting closer and closer to his still-alive body (which is in suspended animation).

It is the black-suited Flash with an undead face that is the subject of the DC Direct figure!

Basics

The Black Lantern Black Flash figure is well-detailed, which is pretty easy given that it is essentially a recolored version of the Flash figure with a different head and slightly different painted-on symbols. The undead speedster stands 6 5/8" tall to the top of the figure's cowled head. His skin is sculpted to look rotten, so the little bit of flesh that is showing beneath the mask is pocked and horrific. The Black Lantern Black Flash figure is available only from DC Direct.

This toy is a very good sculpt, especially for a character that has only had two-dimensional references, Black Lantern Black Flash looks good in all three dimensions. DC Direct gave the figure great muscle definition throughout. The character’s hands are molded open and while they are under black gloves, they have visible veins and bones, which is pretty cool. The sculpting highlight has to be in the mouth area, though as the Black Lantern Black Flash has his mouth wide open, as if he is screaming and the teeth and tongue are flawlessly molded in! The nose is molded to look like the tip has rotted away, leaving slightly porcine upturned nostrils facing the person looking at the figure!

Black Lantern Black Flash's costume features strong monotone colors: this is a very sharp black and silver contrasting figure. The usual Flash emblem appears on a black body, accented by an inverted Black Lantern symbol coming up from the feet and down from over the character’s shoulders. The fleshtones, slightly yellowed teeth and blood red mouth cavity are exceptionally cool details.

Accessories

Black Lantern Black Flash, badass undead villain turned mysterious savior that it is, comes with only one accessory, his stand. The stand is a black and white disk with the Black Lantern logo. It is 3 3/4" in diameter and 1/4” tall and it has a single peg which plugs into the hole in Black Lantern Black Flash's right foot. He is very stable on his base, even in extravagant poses.

Playability

The DC Direct figures were designed more for display than play. Black Lantern Black Flash cool for both. First, he has decent balance, though it is certainly better on his stand. Because he lacks a hinge joint on the ankle, when off the stand, Black Lantern Black Flash must be posed flatfooted or he is likely to fall over.

Black Lantern Black Flash comes with thirteen points of articulation, which is very good, even by today's standards. Black Lantern Black Flash has joints at the knees, groin socket, shoulders, biceps, elbows, wrists and head. The shoulders are proper ball and socket joints, while the elbows and knees are both hinge joints. The head is on a ball joint, which allows the villain to nod up and down as well as look left to right!

Collectibility

The Black Lantern Black Flash is part of the DC Direct Blackest Night Series 8 line which was fairly common and seemed to be populated by characters fans were not immediately drawn to. The Black Lantern Black Flash is one of three villains in the wave, but considering most of the figures in the line are obscure Lantern versions of popular DC Universe characters, Black Lantern Black Flash is largely being overlooked. Because the Black Lantern Black Flash is an obscure character in an obscure corner of the story, I suspect this figure will not appreciate, save among fans of The Flash comic books and memorabilia.

Overview

Black Lantern Black Flash could use better ankle articulation to do running poses better, but for an obscure character, DC Direct truly went out of their way to make a very neat figure! Worth the buy, even if others haven’t figured that out yet!

For other Blackest Night figures, please check out my reviews of:
Wave 8 Indigo Tribe The Atom
Wave 7 Arkillo
Wave 6 Blue Lantern The Flash
Wave 6 Star Sapphire Wonder Woman
Wave 5 Nekron
Wave 1 Saint Walker

8.5/10

For other toy reviews, please check out my Toy Review Index Page!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Something Different For The Masses, Except They're Not Listening: Eveningland By Hem!

The Good: Amazing voice, Good music, Decent lyrics
The Bad: Undefinable genre, "Jackson"
The Basics: Defying genre and making a wonderful listening experience, Hem's Eveningland succeeds as something truly different.


This is one of the few albums I have allowed myself to re-rate as I move my reviews from the old site to my own blog. Hem surprised the hell out of me and “Eveningland” was my first experience with the band. I’ve reviewed one of their EPs (here!) and the Twelfth Night Soundtrack (here!) which is not a true Hem album in my book before now. This, however, is an album I am glad to revisit at I move it. I underestimated it originally and the new number rating reflects how much it grew on me in the years since I first heard/reviewed it! Enjoy!

Sometimes, I think I get too caught up in genre. You know, defining things I see and hear by what is the easiest categorization for it. In music, that leads me toward female rockers, folk-rock and alternative pop-rock artists. It makes me flee far away from country or most rap. The categories I don't like are based on what I simply don't like, not because they are labeled by that category. When I first learned of Hem, I met something of a crisis of faith in this department. Allow me to explain:

Hem's music on Eveningland - which I mistakenly listened to thinking it was their first album - is an almost undefinable genre right smack dab on the border between folk, light pop, and country. It does not easily fit into any of the three categories, but it does have elements of all three. Songs like "The Beautiful Sea" tell a story like folk, songs like "Pacific Street" embody the pop ballad perfectly, and songs like "Jackson" are twangy country. And one of the two ways I decided I liked Eveningland and Hem was by understanding that the country sound that Hem creates occasionally is Old Style country. You know, pre-Achy Breaky Heart crossover crap. More classic Johnny Cash style. From when Country was good.

The other way I convinced myself of the album's worth was by listening to it. A lot. It was about ten plays before I decided I liked it.

So why, if it's such a tough sell, am I ultimately recommending it?

From the first listen, Eveningland was different from most anything I ever heard. The opening chords of "The Fire Thief" draw the listener in and deposit them under the control of quite simply the most beautiful soprano voice recording today. Understand, I'm a huge fan of Fiona Apple's music, but the voice of Sally Ellyson puts Apple's to, well, not shame, but it certainly outdoes the best moment's of "Never Is A Promise." Ellyson's fabulous voice takes the simple words and music behind "Carry Me Home" and transforms it into the saddest song I have ever heard. Ellyson's voice evokes images beyond the words that puts "Carry Me Home" into tear-jerker territory. Never in my life did I think Elton John's "The Last Song" would even have a run for its money, but "Carry Me Home" outdoes it for saddest song status. And I've got to say, there's something pretty extraordinary about a song you can put on continual repeat and keep the emotional resonance of it going.

I attribute much to Ellyson's voice and it's credit where credit is due. Her voice on "Strays" transforms a gospel song into folk storytelling. Okay, even if it doesn't, her voice is inspiring, which is what the song needs in order to sell itself. "Strays" tells the story of a narrator who was unfaithful in her engagement, finds solace in church and works to keep others from straying the way she did. It's not a lecture, it's not even a lesson, it's presented as one woman's lonely, then redemptive, experience. And it works. Beautifully. Ellyson's voice makes us forget our trepidations over genres.

It's also the skillful lyrics of Daniel Meese that make the album worth the buy. Songs like "The Beautiful Sea" and "Carry Me Home" illustrate a profound sense of poetry and a real talent for putting words to music. It's almost enough to excuse the predicable rhyme scheme and schmaltzy emotions of early tracks "Lucky" and "Receiver." Eveningland is a pretty solid collection of mellow songs usually conveying some sadness. But it works.

But it isn't for those who are not open-minded, who are stuck on genre. Despite the country sound to "Dance With Me," it seems more pop than country, despite the gospel lyrics to "Strays," it's certainly more folk, and despite the use of instruments like the violin, this is a very contemporary, hip album. But it might need some time to work its magic.

And despite my constant mentions that this took time to grow on me, from the first listen, I was blown away by the last four tracks. Even from the first listen, the last four tracks, "The Beautiful Sea," “Eveningland,” "Pacific Street" and "Carry Me Home" were impressive and compelled me to listen to them again.

On a somewhat outside note, Eveningland - the album - is pretty ballsy in that the title track is an instrumental piece less than two minutes long. I think that's cool. Sadly, both “Eveningland” and "Cincinnati Traveler" are unfinished tracks, which are not compiled in their entirety until No Word From Tom, the album that follows.

In final analysis, this is a pretty wonderful album, mellow and flowing, emotive and sweeping. It combines fabulous vocals with a full orchestra sound not found anywhere else in music today. It's worth the listen and it's one I am keeping in my collection.

The best track is "Carry Me Home," with "The Beautiful Sea" a close second, "Jackson" which is too Country for me bottoms out the album.

For other albums by women with amazing voices, be sure to check out my reviews of:
Cry Cry Cry - Cry Cry Cry
When The Pawn . . . - Fiona Apple
Feels Like Home - Norah Jones

9.5/10

For other music reviews, please visit my Music Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the albums, singles, and boxed sets I have reviewed organized by artist and then chronologically.

© 2012, 2006 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Outside The Nutrition, Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey Cereal Is Not Extraordinary

The Good: Fairly nutritious, Tastes good, Affordable
The Bad: Not the most distinctive taste, Nothing superlative
The Basics: Kellogg’s Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is good, but not superlative in any recognizable way.


With my new direction for food reviews – taking on reviewing breakfast cereals, which I began with Kellogg’s Fiber Plus Antioxidants Cinnamon Oat Crunch (here!) – I am going through the cupboards( and samples my wife has obtained) to create a useful guide to understanding the whole cereal aisle. After all, with so many choices, it is hard to know what is worth picking up. While I like Kellogg’s Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal, I know it will not be on the market indefinitely. Every few years, Kellogg’s tries to shake-up its cereal line-up by “franchising” its popular cereals. A few years ago, Special K was available with several different varieties of dried fruit. Now, there are one or two fruit Special Ks, but the rest seem focused on adding other things to the popular cereal.

Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is a flake-based cereal which is sweeter than traditional Special K and also a little darker (the color of the physical flakes). And it is okay, but it is not exceptional in any way.

Basics

Kellogg’s Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is a relatively new cereal with flakes of wheat, rice and corn. It looks like a very typical collection of flakes, most about 1/2” to 3/4” in two directions, thin and textured in its height. Special K cereal now comes in several different varieties, designed to give dieters more variety while they lose weight.

The standard box of Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is 13.6 oz. That represents approximately thirteen servings and I was able to get a little over twelve servings out of both boxes my wife and I bought. In addition to having traditional flakes that have a light sheen from honey, MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal features a smattering of oats, some of which are stuck together in tiny colonies or that adhere to the flakes.

Ease Of Preparation

Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is a breakfast cereal, so this is one of the low-impact breakfast options as far as preparation goes! Simply open the box of Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal, pour out 2/3 cup (I’ve taken to using a measuring cup) and add 1/2 cup of milk to it. I have discovered, as part of getting healthy, that one of the biggest challenges one might have with breakfast cereal is actually eating the serving size recommended by the manufacturer. Given that I have been monitoring my intake for several weeks now, I am now able to enjoy only 2/3 cup of Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal in a sitting, though it is not as filling as some other cereals I have had.

For the purposes of my reviews, and my regular consumption, I only use skim milk (fat free) milk with cereal.

Taste

Opening the box, Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey smells warm like honey in the sun. This is a very fresh, nicely invigorating aroma for a cereal and it creates an inviting atmosphere for the consumer.

On its own, the MultiGrain Oats & Honey is very dry and very sweet, compared to standard Special K. The sweetness is not overbearing and it accents the grains, as opposed to overwhelms them. I have noticed that without milk, the oats in the cereal are very flavorful, pushing a taste predictably like oatmeal that contributes to the dry flavor of the cereal.

With milk, the oat flavor is completely sublimated and the honey taste becomes more subtle. This makes the cereal much less forceful on the tongue and, I suspect, might appeal to more mature consumers who are not as into bold flavors. With milk, the flakes begin to get soggy after a few minutes and the flavor spreads more into the milk than the solid portions.

Nutrition

Kellogg’s Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is exceptionally nutritious on its own and with skim milk! Made primarily of whole grain wheat,rice and sugar, there is nothing unpronounceable in Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal. Given that there is a separate listing of vitamins and minerals, I suspect that Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is one of those cereals where the nutrients are then sprayed onto the cereal, making it important to drink the milk with this cereal in order to get all of the nutritional benefits out of it.

A single serving of Kellogg’s Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is 29 grams, 2/3 cup. In that serving, there are 100 calories, with no calories coming from fat. There is no saturated fat in this cereal, nor is there any cholesterol. With only 140 mg of sodium and 3 grams of dietary fiber, this is a good dietary choice for those striving to improve heart. With two grams of protein and 70mg potassium, MultiGrain Oats & Honey is very healthy. On its own, this cereal has significant percentages of eight vitamins and minerals.

Storage/Cleanup

Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey is a cereal, so as long as it is kept sealed in its box, it ought to remain fresh for quite some time. The box of Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal we purchased on January 3, 2012 had an expiration date of November 23, 2012. Obviously, when you are done pouring the cereal from the box, fold down the plastic inner wrap to help maintain the cereal’s freshness.

Cleaning up after Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is simple as well. Simply brush away crumbs left by it and you are done! It is that simple! This is a cereal that does not even discolor the milk added to it!

Overall

Special K MultiGrain Oats & Honey cereal is healthy, but not extraordinary in any real way. It is good, worth having, especially for those who do not like strong flavors, but it not one I eagerly recommend and not one I would stock up on.

For other components of breakfast, please be sure to check out my reviews of:
Kellogg’s Pumpkin Pie limited edition Pop Tarts
Dole 100% Juice Orange Peach Mango
Yoplait Parfait Grasshopper Pie Lowfat Yogurt

6.5/10

For other food reviews, please visit my Food Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the food reviews I have written!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Garibaldi Searches For Lochley's Truths In Two Mediocre Episodes of Babylon 5.

The Good: Moments of character, Moments of performance
The Bad: Mediocre special effects, Fairly recycled plot, Some truly lame moments, Predictability
The Basics: With two mediocre episodes of Babylon 5, this video sinks, regardless of how essential the plots of the episodes are to the bigger story.


As I nab the final Babylon 5 VHS tape I had to review, it occurs to me how unfortunate it is that Babylon 5 ended on such a shaky note, that its final season was so uncertain. I wonder how much - honestly - had been intended as part of the five year planned arc by series creator, writer J. Michael Straczynski. With the fifth season episodes "Learning Curve" and "Strange Relations," with their peculiar mix of necessary plot and character moments and the recycled sense that the viewer has seen them before, it certainly is enough to make one at least question if Straczynski was desperately fleshing out the final season.

"Learning Curve" finds a new crime boss taking over Down Below on Babylon 5 and a series of murders, as messages to his competitors, confounding security. As Garibaldi continues to investigate and badger the station's new commander, Captain Lochley, a pair of Ranger teachers and their Ranger acolytes come to the station to provide Delenn with a status report. While there, one of the Rangers is beaten by the new criminal leader as a sign and left for dead. Supposedly terrorized, Delenn intervenes with station security and Lochley to help use the righting of this violence as a lesson for the Rangers.

"Strange Relations" returns the telepaths to the forefront when Bester and a Bloodhound Unit arrive on the station to hunt down the rogue telepaths given sanctuary on Babylon 5. When Garibaldi is finally told why Sheridan selected Lochley for the position of station commander, he is placated some, but forced to sit out intervening with the villainous Bester. As Sheridan and Lochley look for a way to prevent Bester from taking the rogue telepaths, Lyta becomes more involved with Byron and his movement. And Londo's planned departure for Centauri Prime is delayed by an assassination attempt, prompting him to take on a bodyguard.

Both "Learning Curve" and "Strange Relations" have some serious problems that make them difficult, if not impossible, to recommend, especially to a general audience. As a fan of Babylon 5, there is a troublingly familiar quality to "Learning Curve." In the first season of Babylon 5 (reviewed here!), there was an episode with a nervous character who was terrified of leaving the station and who slowly came into his own throughout the course of the episode. "Learning Curve" feels much like that episode and the problems of the nervous character notwithstanding, there is something unsettling about how familiar the two episodes feel to one another.

Mentoring younger characters and teaching them a lesson is not new in drama or science fiction. Indeed, Star Trek: Voyager has an episode involving teaching the next generation also entitled "Learning Curve.” The fundamental problem with the Babylon 5 episode by the same name is this: the latter half of the episode simply does not work. The Ranger who intervenes and stops an informant from getting killed is beaten to a pulp by the crime boss and his associates. As he lays near death in the medical bay, his mentors announce that he is terrified. The Minbari can't speak, can't really move and his wounds are being held together with small stitches and a lot of hope. I'm not sure he's even conscious enough to be terrified!

The point here is that writer J. Michael Straczynski asks the viewer to take on faith a condition just because two characters on screen say it is so. One says he's terrorized and therefore terrified and Straczynski expects us to all sit up and say "okay, I guess he is!" The truth is, the Ranger acolyte does not look like he is even able to hear his mentors at that point. So when the latter half of the episode degenerates into one young Minbari's quest to overcome his own feelings of terror, it's much more told than shown. And the message has to continue to be repeated to the viewer so that the actions of the Rangers rise to something above a streetfight. I'm not entirely certain it succeeds in getting there, even after multiple viewings.

And this whole plotline is so weak that by the end of the fourth act, it is over. The rest of the episode picks up the thread of Alliance Covert Security Chief Michael Garibaldi trying to figure out why Sheridan chose Lochley to succeed him as captain of Babylon 5. Delenn beats him to the truth and that leads to some tension between Delenn and Sheridan.

Garibaldi receives the truth he has sought, finally, in "Strange Relations." This second episode on the video is somewhat better than "Learning Curve" and is part of the essential Babylon 5 because of the plot elements that occur. Bester's return is of great interest to fans who were enthralled by the fourth season of Babylon 5 (reviewed here!) because he manipulated Garibaldi and almost cost Sheridan his life. So, it's natural for Garibaldi to want to settle the score and it is strangely satisfying to see him make a spectacle of himself in the attempt. No, this is not Garibaldi's best episode.

It's also not the high-water mark for Lochley or Bester. Indeed, outside the character elements of Lochley's revelations to Garibaldi about her past with Sheridan and the very minor G'Kar/Londo subplot, this episode is strangely devoid of interesting character development. One might point to Lyta, who is slowly pulled farther and farther away from the Psi Corps in this episode. This is not much of a development, as she was reluctant to work for the Psi Corps and always hated Bester anyway. Given the choice between the kindly and pacifistic Byron and the sadistic hunter Bester, the choice seems fairly easy and obvious to those who have an affinity to Lyta. Or anyone human.

The result is a Bester episode that is strangely unsatisfying. Lochley is content to work with the Psi Cop and the tension this causes between Sheridan and Lochley is surprisingly minimal. The only truly inspired element of the episode is that it is Lochley who solves the problem, thus bolstering the idea in the mind of the fans that she belongs as captain of the station. "Strange Relations" is not bad, it's just pretty blandly average.

Part of the problem - in both episodes - is the acting. Tracy Scoggins, who arrived in the season premiere "No Compromises" (reviewed here!) still seems a little uncomfortable with the role. She is unable to play passionate and angry without being loud and melodramatic. There is a soap opera quality to her scenes with Garibaldi that ring false and are even painful to watch for their somewhat hammy presentation of how a fiery woman speaks.

Similarly, in "Learning Curve," most of the Minbari are played by actors who do not seem quite at home within their characters. Ironically, when watching two of the Minbari joking with one another, Garibaldi has the epiphany that Minbari never walk away from a fight, whereas most viewers will have the epiphany that Minbari actually have a sense of humor. Actually, the banter in both episodes is decent with the rifts between the Warrior and Religious castes being healed in the Ranger movement and G'Kar and Londo coming to terms with one another even more than before. It is gratifying to watch the show attempt to portray some characters having normal balance with humor amid episodes where people are being hunted down and beaten.

And as far as the telepath plot goes, the idea is not a bad one, though the idea that Byron is something of a cult leader is troubling, even if it might be accurate. The problem there becomes that Byron does not seem to be attracting more people to his flock; the station has not become inundated with telepaths the way it becomes overrun with Narn when G'Kar reaches legendary status later in the season. The point here is that the idea of Bester arriving to hunt down the telepaths and even Lochley's willingness to let him do it, is not a bad idea, but it does ring flat and seem awkward, especially to a fan of the series.

And honestly, I'm not sure this pair of episodes is accessible to those who are not fans of the series. "Learning Curve" is just boring for those not invested in the Rangers. And "Strange Relations" hinges on extensive backstory, especially of the entire telepath subplot that began back in the first season. As a result, it's a shaky two pack.

[Knowing that VHS is essentially a dead medium, it's worth looking into Babylon 5 - The Complete Fifth Season on DVD, which is also a better economical choice than buying the VHS. Read my review of the final season by clicking here!
Thanks!]

“Learning Curve” – 3/10
“Strange Relations” – 5/10
VHS – 3.5/10

For other television and movie reviews please click here to visit an organized listing of all the film works I have reviewed!

© 2012, 2007 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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The Understudy Parent Sells The Viewer Completely On The Descendants!

The Good: Funny, Interesting characters, Wonderful performances, Not oppressive in the mood
The Bad: Does not do much with the idea once it is established.
The Basics: The Descendants is funny and difficult without being miserable to watch, making for a solid character drama.


Usually, right after the Oscars, I have movies that competed for the Best Picture Oscar that I want to see, regardless of the fact that they lost for the big prize. It is also a time of year that it is especially difficult for me to get my wife to watch movies with me because she usually rails about how I am (largely) watching movies for the purpose of reviewing. I think, however, that I must have asked her out to see The Descendants enough times while it was still in theaters to convince her that I actually wanted to see the movie. So, last night, we sat together and took in the film The Descendants, which did not win the Best Picture, but I already add to my list of movies that should have beaten The Artist for the grand prize (I understand, I am going into The Artist biased against it!). And we enjoyed The Descendants.

The Descendants is a thematically gloomy movie that manages to deal with difficult issues that surround death without ever being oppressive. My wife, who has never quite forgiven me for having her watch Magnolia (reviewed here!) with her on our first weekend together, enjoyed the fact that while The Descendants wrestled with many of the same issues, it did not make her want to take her own life when the film was over. I like any movie that is smart and does not make my wife contemplate suicide just by watching it! In all seriousness, though, The Descendants deserves most of the accolades heaped upon it and is a solidly good movie. The Descendants is based upon a novel that I have not read, so (as always) this is a very pure review only of the cinematic rendition of The Descendants.

Matt King is a Hawaiian lawyer whose family owns the last virgin land on the islands, land that is in a trust that will be legally dissolved within seven years. Matt is the trustee of that land and he is working with the rest of the family to determine which bid for the land the family will accept, making everyone much, much richer in the process. But Matt’s focus is divided when his wife is in a boating accident and falls into a coma. As Matt struggles to pay attention to his ten year-old daughter, Scottie, who has begun trying to express her feelings regarding her comatose mother, he discovers how ill-suited he is to being a single parent. Matt and Scottie hop a plane to one of the other islands to recover Alex, Matt’s seventeen year-old daughter. Alex, who is in a boarding school for youth recovering from drug addition and behavioral problems, hardly comes willingly and when Matt reveals to her that Elizabeth’s living will is in effect, she reaches out to Sid.

Despite Sid tagging along, Alex’s revelation to Matt that Elizabeth was having an affair on him – which is quickly confirmed by some neighbor/friends of the family – sets Matt on a quest to find the man who his wife was in love with. After meeting with Elizabeth’s parents, Matt and the other three head to the island with the King family land to track down Brian Speer, a real estate agent who was the man Elizabeth was having the affair with.

The Descendants is a weird emotional journey where, once the pieces are on the board (in this case, the impending death, the affair, the children and the identity of the man with whom Elizabeth had the affair), the film has to figure out what to do with them all. The Descendants has a decent set-up and the truth is, it did not go in the most predictable or disappointing direction it could have. Instead, The Descendants works very hard to illustrate a profound and adult emotional journey and it succeeds as much as a movie can. One of the few serious detractions to The Descendants as a movie – which contains several memorable lines and a few very funny moments in between the hard-hitting emotional scenes – is that much of the focus is on an intangible emotional journey. As a result, portions of The Descendants come across as slow and moody as opposed to anything that uses the visual medium well.

This is not to say that The Descendants is a bad movie. It is not. But co-writer and director Alexander Payne has to let the camera linger on George Clooney’s Matt and the Hawaiian scenery several times throughout the film simply to let the movie breathe and give moments their proper weight. Payne succeeds, though and watching The Descendants is like watching someone else’s real life. The problematic aspect of that, of course, is that not every moment of real life is engaging and dramatic or even noteworthy. Especially when internal emotional processing is what one’s life has become, it is hardly cinematic and there are several moments in The Descendants where Matt is processing, making a decision (punch Sid or not, kick him out of the car or not, what to say to Brian Speer, etc.) where it is clear Payne is capturing the character mulling over his next move.

The Descendants is a character-driven piece that works, as much as it can, because the characters are generally interesting. Matt is appropriately shocked to learn his wife was having an affair and he balances his anger with his desire to give his family a chance to remember Elizabeth in a positive light. But Matt does not truly develop or change in the course of the film. Instead, he meanders through the land decision and once he learns of the affair, he becomes fixated on meeting Brian Speer, without a real plan about what he intends to say or do when he does. In fact, once he declares that he wants to meet Brian Speer to give him the opportunity to say goodbye to Elizabeth, he pretty much does just that (and not much more).

In some ways, The Descendants is really about Alexandra’s journey through her anger at both Elizabeth and her father. Rebellious and willful, Alex had a falling out with Elizabeth before the film began, over her knowledge of the affair. Over the course of The Descendants, Alex overcomes her raw anger to help empower Matt to live up to his desire to face Brian Speer. More than that, she comes to recognize that Matt is actually trying to parent now and she comes to respond to that effort in a way the girl at the beginning of the movie would not have. Even Sid is given a scene where he is able to illustrate he is more than just a dumb sidekick, so The Descendants takes a lot of time to develop memorable characters, both primary and peripheral.

On the acting front, The Descendants is very good. While early in the film, acting from child actors, like Amara Miller (Scottie) is shaky and Nick Krause as Sid seemed awfully derivative of Patrick Fugit’s performance in Saved! (reviewed here!), The Descendants has all of the emotional gravitas one expects from a film starring George Clooney. Clooney expertly slouches his way through the role of Matt King in order to more realistically portray a regular guy (albeit with a lot of money) who feels the weight of the world bearing down upon him. Judy Greer is her usual wonderful self as Julie Speer, but her performance is easily trumped by Matthew Lillard, who plays her character’s husband, Lillard deftly proves that he can play a dramatic part without even a hint of irony, humor or stupidity and he is the pleasant surprise on the acting front of The Descendants.

Much of the performance front for The Descendants is dominated by Shailene Woodley. The Descendants is the first work I have seen Woodley in, but she seems to fill the same essential niche as Emma Roberts. Woodley plays the role of Alex with an evolution from bratty to mature that works surprisingly well. She develops the character from one who is outwardly emotional to one who can show some restraint in the film’s later scenes. Even as Alex bites her tongue, Woodley infuses a sense that the character still has something to say, in the set of her jaw, the way her shoulders tighten, the determination in her gaze. Woodley is the one to watch in The Descendants.

Now on DVD, The Descendants comes with trailers, a commentary track (which we did not have a chance to listen to before we had to return the disc) and featurettes on the making of the film. The Descendants is a solid movie, even if it is not always the most interesting one or does not have much of a statement to make beyond “this is life.”

For other films with significant emotional journeys for the protagonist, be sure to check out my reviews of:
American Beauty
The Road Home
The Royal Tenenbaums

7/10

For other film reviews, please be sure to check out my Movie Review Index Page for other films and television shows I have reviewed!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Myah Is (Finally!) Safe And (Mostly) Secure With The Petco 16 Foot Retractable Lead For Dogs!

The Good: Light, Easy to use, Durable, Provides a strong, steady grip
The Bad: Button operating issues, Slippage already
The Basics: Petco provides a solid product with their 16 foot retractable lead for dogs, though Myah is already causing it to wear some.


My wife and I, for those who might not read the blog too regularly, came into an amazing Siberian Husky late last year. Her name is Myah and she came from a loving home where young children had recently become a factor. Oddly, they chose to give up Myah as opposed to their babies, so my wife and I intervened and we have been very happy since. I, however, have been a little unnerved. Myah is a bigger dog, at over fifty pounds, she is certainly big enough that I knew we should not be using the 10’ Flexi leash (reviewed here!) we had for poor Mitzie (my wife’s geriatric cocker spaniel). But, given that our cash flow when Myah first arrived was erratic at best, we made due for the past few months. With her portion of our income tax refund, my wife has been splurging on Myah. The second thing she picked up for Myah was a 16’ Retractable Lead For Dogs from Petco.

For those unfamiliar with a retractable leash, the principle is simple; unlike the classic leash that is a set length, the retractable leash is essentially a handle with the leash itself coiled inside. The leash then becomes a variable length which allows one to maintain better control of their dog or allow their dog to have a little bit of free range and room to run. Retractable leashes store nicely because the spring-activated mechanism which retracts the leash pulls the leash into the housing of the handle when one is done. Virtually all retractable leashes work on that principle.

The Petco 16’ Retractable Leash is a very good retractable leash that has a few extra bells and whistles than the standard retractable leash. The Petco 16’ Retractable Lead is intended for large dogs, weighing up to 110 pounds. So, Myah, our active Siberian Husky who still has not put back all her pre-pregnancy weight certainly qualifies. The reason for the weight restriction is the length of the leash and the gauge of the nylon leash. Even bigger dogs are likely to snap or excessively wear (with speed) the Nylon lead. Measuring sixteen feet six inches for the cord when it was pulled as far as it could be, the 1/2” wide nylon cord is durable and enough to please most pet owners with large gogs. With the hook, it added three inches and the handle is six and a half inches long.

The Petco 16’ Retractable Lead For Dogs is outfitted with a steel g-hook which attaches to the dog's collar. In fact, this style of hook is ideal for leashes as it cannot be slipped by the animal; it requires something or someone with opposable thumbs to press down the release and negotiate it out of the metal clasp on the collar one attaches it to. After the dog is attached to the leash, simply wrap your fingers around the grip on the handle and let the dog go! As someone with big hands, the grip on the Petco 16’ Retractable Lead’s handle is the perfect size for maintaining control over Myah.

Usage of this particular retractable leash is easy, though I have been having a little trouble getting the hang of it because of how long I used Mitzie’s retractable leash before this one. The Petco Retractable Lead for dogs features two buttons on the top of the handle. They are designed for controlling the length of the leash and are easily depressed using one’s thumb. If one's dog begins to get beyond a comfortable length for the owner - or people in the vicinity - one need only press the button closest to themself on the Petco Retractable Lead with their thumb and the leash stops coming out of the handle. The stop function is strong, though after two weeks of use, my wife and I noticed that Myah was able to tug it about two inches when it was in the locked position by using a sharp, fast jumping motion.

The Petco Retractable Lead releases when the button that is farther away from the body is depressed. This causes the lead to unlock and begin to retract. I have noticed the retracting function does not always act instantaneously and it has taken me a little while to get into the swing of using the lead. Before, I had a simple retractable lead that locked and unlocked by toggling a single button that one held down to lock. I can certainly dig the two-button design of the Petco Retractable Lead, but when Myah slows down abruptly, I am left with a lot of slack on this retractable lead that is problematic. It has a tendency to get caught between Myah’s legs or my own feet and the Lead never seems to retract as fast as we move, though it does spool out and stop at decent speeds.

While the locking mechanism does not appear to be flawless, the Petco Retractable Lead provides a solid, durable point of control for us when dealing with Myah. The nylon has not shown any signs of wear, even after two weeks of very aggressive walks/runs with Myah through the woods and around the neighborhood. The clasp has remained strong and responsive, so the moment Myah is clasped in, we know that the G-hook is holding the ring on Myah’s harness.

Despite the housing (handle) being made of plastic, the Petco Retractable Lead is very durable. For the weeks we have had ours, we have dropped it several times and it has not cracked or even showed signs of scratching. The solid plastic body of the handle is very easy to clean as well, making this a good lead for active pet owners and their rambunctious dogs!

For other dog product reviews, please check out:
Cocker Spaniel Memorial Urn
Titan Dog Tie Out Large 30'
Millers Forge Large Shedding Blade for dogs

7.5/10

For other pet product reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Waiting For The End And A Purpose: The Terminal Leaves Me Unimpressed.

The Good: Likable protagonist, Generally good acting, Interesting initial plot
The Bad: Ridiculous turn of antagonist, Pacing, Plummets into boring
The Basics: As a man caught in an administrative crack, Viktor Navorski is forced to live in an airport, with consequences that quickly become dull and uncompelling in The Terminal.


It is easy to see, after the first half hour of The Terminal why this movie did not generate boatloads of money to help United Airlines. According the the trivia before the movies open, Steven Spielberg has been quoted as saying "Most movies have a beginning and just keep beginning." Spielberg doesn't know when to end movies. Like A.I. (reviewed here!), The Terminal drags on and on after the first half hour, begging the viewer to ask "Why am I still sitting here?"

The Terminal begins with real potential, more than I would have thought. Viktor Navorski arrives at JFK Airport in New York City and learns that his nation has become engulfed in a civil war. As a result, there is no legitimate nation of Krakozha and thus his passport is no longer a legal passport. Without a legal passport, he may not get a visa to enter the United States and he is forced to reside within the confines of the airport terminal.

Navorski is sentenced to live in the terminal by Frank Dixon, a field agent with the Department of Homeland Security. Dixon is simply doing his job, which is waiting out the Krakozhian civil war so that Navorski may either return home or enter the United States. The main problem with the film develops when Dixon becomes obsessed with Navorski's presence. Navorski is not harming anyone, he is not a nuisance in any real way, and is not even terribly conspicuous. Dixon becomes determined to pass the Navorski problem onto someone else, though Navorski is not a problem anyone would notice except the Department of Homeland Security.

For example, at JFK, there is are carts that may be used to aid passengers in transporting their luggage. Unfortunately, most people do not bring the carts back to their designated areas. So, there is a system that rewards those who do bring the carts back with a quarter. Navorski soon realizes that if he rounds up the carts and returns them all, he can make enough money to buy food at the Burger King within the terminal. Dixon sees Navorski doing this and, rather than tacitly approve of it, he thwarts Navorski's efforts by hiring a new staffmember whose sole job is to return the carts to where they belong. Dixon's determination to rid the terminal of Navorski climaxes in the most over-the-top way and then senselessly disappears.

In short, The Terminal suffers greatly from a forced antagonist that, in the final analysis, makes little to no sense. And the film does not need a man vs. man conflict, the piece would work extraordinarily well as a man vs. society piece. But Dixon does not simply represent the overbearing society created by the Department of Homeland Security, he reveals personal ambition and a serious emotional stake in getting rid of Navorski.

And then there's the romantic subplot. While residing in the airport, Navorski falls for a flight attendant named Amelia. The relationship between Navorski and Amelia is far less interesting than the relationships Navorski makes to survive in the airport, like his relationship with janitor Gupta.

What does work is the acting. Catherine Zeta-Jones is well-used as Amelia and she manages to not steal the scenes she is in. In fact, it is more a movie displaying the talents of Stanley Tucci. Whatever the faults with the character of Frank Dixon, Tucci portrays him well and with as much consistency as the script will allow. Tucci plays reasonable very well and, while it is inconsistent with the established character, he is able to make over-the-top anger seem very realistic.

The film rests on Tom Hanks, though and he delivers as usual. Hanks appears somewhat bloated and only slips out of character once when yelling. The majority of the movie, he looks like Ed O'Ross (Nikolai from Six Feet Under) and his transformed body language and accent work quite convincingly to establish his character.

Even Hanks cannot save The Terminal, though. The idea is not bad, but the execution of it is. Spielberg and the film's writers try to create intrigue by providing Navorski with a reason for wanting to come to New York City, clouding it in the peanut can he carries with him constantly. The problem is, by the time we learn what is in the can, it is almost impossible to care. The movie has stretched on for far too long.

And once we do learn why Navorski is in New York City, it makes even less sense that he would be willing to stay in the terminal as opposed to making a run for the City outside. The last half hour of the movie is an uncompelling plodding experience to try to resolve all of the plot and character aspects introduced earlier in the movie. The problem is, by the time they start to be resolved, Dixon is ridiculously villainous and the rest of the aspects seem far too removed from our interest to be compelling.
The Terminal lures the viewer in with a deceptively good beginning that quickly takes a turn toward the boring and ultimately the disappointing. There are better Spielberg and Hanks films. There are a lot of movies that are better. Period.

For other films with Zoe Saldana, please check out my reviews of:
Columbiana
Avatar
Star Trek

4.5/10

For other film reviews, please visit my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the movies I have reviewed!

© 2012, 2005 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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