Despite The Expense, The 2016 Sally The Nightmare Before Christmas Ornament Is Awesome!

The Good: Limited edition nature, Good sculpt, Good coloring, Good balance
The Bad: No feature, A bit expensive
The Basics: “Sally” is a pretty incredible The Nightmare Before Christmas limited edition ornament that fans of the film are going to want to hunt down!


Fans of The Nightmare Before Christmas have had years and years of ornaments to collect and the truth is, there is something surprising about how many Jack Skellington ornaments there are versus how few Sally ornaments have been released. For 2016, Hallmark produced a wonderful late-addition, limited edition ornament of Jack Skellington's love interest on her own. Every few years, Hallmark produces more than one ornament from the film The Nightmare Before Christmas and this year is one of the years that has two ornaments. As an alternative to the common-release ornament of Dr. Finklestein that was a supporting character in the film, this year Hallmark did a limited edition ornament: “Sally.“ “Sally “ focuses on Jack Skellington’s girlfriend and it is one of the better Hallmark ornaments from The Nightmare Before Christmas.

For those unfamiliar with The Nightmare Before Christmas (reviewed here!) Sally was Jack Skellington’s love interest. She was a rag doll that was missing an arm and was stitched together by Dr. Finklestein. It is Sally on her own that is the subject of the limited edition The Nightmare Before Christmas Hallmark ornament.

Basics

The "Sally" ornament recreates Sally on her own without any base or accoutrements. As a result, the $15.95 price tage seems a bit expensive for the character ornament. That said, the limited-edition ornament, released in 2016, is exceptionally accurate as it can be considering it is based upon an animated work for the source material. Because everything in The Nightmare Before Christmas is colored in simple solid colors (without human shading or details), the ornament appropriately does not have complex shading to it. That said, it looks perfectly like the character seen throughout The Nightmare Before Christmas.

Hallmark clearly made an effort on the "Sally" ornament, with amazing detailing on the stitching, missing right arm and patchwork clothing. Measuring three and seven-eighths inches tall, one and one-sixteenth inches wide and seven-eighths inches deep, the "Sally" ornament is a little smaller than most of the Jack Skellington ornaments Hallmark has released.

The Hallmark "Sally" ornament is made of a durable plastic, with decent hair, thin arms, legs and tiny high-heeled shoes. This ornament sold out at most every Hallmark shop I have gone to since the October release weekend last weekend, so most fans will only find it in the secondary market.

“Sally” ornament has pretty cool coloring details. The colors are a good mix of her distinctive dead blue skin tones, black and bright colors for her patchwork outfit. Her hair is red-orange and she looks entirely accurate for her character.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Sally" could have a light or sound function, but it has neither. Instead, this is a very basic ornament that does not feature any lighting or sound clips.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Sally" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Christmas Tree for A Nightmare Before Christmas, the "Sally" ornament is a wonderful addition. The ornament has the standard steel hook loop embedded into the top center of Sally's head. While this is a somewhat obvious position, it is the most logical position and it is not as obtrusive as on some ornaments!

The placement of the loop makes this ornament perfectly well-balanced, so that is a huge plus for those who want to display it.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Within a few years, virtually every major studio with a marketable property jumped on the bandwagon and began merchandising Christmas ornaments, including A Nightmare Before Christmas. "Sally" was one of two A Nightmare Before Christmas ornaments released in 2016 and fans bought them all up, as far as I can find. The original price of $15.95 is a bit pricey for such a simplistic ornament, so it is hard to imagine it appreciating in value any time soon.

Overview

This year’s A Nightmare Before Christmas limited edition ornament is a real winner; Sally is an impressive ornament likely to truly please fans and collectors!

For other The Nightmare Before Christmas Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2016 Dr. Finklestein ornament
2014 "This Is Halloween" ornament
2014 Jack's Peculiar Pet - Limited Edition!
2013 Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares
2012 Jack Sneaks A Peek ornament
2011 A Snowy Surprise The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2009 Welcome To Christmastown

9/10

For other ornament reviews, please check out my Ornament Review Index Page!

© 2016 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Adequate, But Unextraordinary: The Dr. Finklestein Ornament!

The Good: Decent balance, Good sculpt and coloring
The Bad: Seems expensive, Odd sound clip choices
The Basics: “Dr. Finklestein” immortalizes the ally of the heroes of The Nightmare Before Christmas in a good, but not overly impressive, way.


When it comes to Hallmark ornaments for genre works, there seems to be a threshold that gets hit that differentiates the essential from the extravagant. The Disney-themed Hallmark holiday ornaments represent a franchise that has elements that have clearly passed that threshold. While The Nightmare Before Christmas is an exceptionally popular film and subject for merchandising, Hallmark has pretty effectively mined it for ornaments. As a result, some of the newer ornaments focus on less-exceptional characters or moments from the movie and this year's ornament is one of those. This year's The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament is Dr. Finklestein.

For those unfamiliar with The Nightmare Before Christmas (reviewed here!) Dr. Finklestein was the mad scientist who created Sally. The wheelchair-bound scientist was a support character in the film, advising Sally and helping her with her relationship with Jack Skellington.

Basics

The "Dr. Finklestein" ornament recreates the scientist in his wheelchair, holding one of Sally's arms. The ornament includes the doctor, his wheelchair, and the stone floor of his laboratory as a single piece. The ornament, released in 2016, is as accurate as it can be considering it is based upon an animated work for the source material. Because everything in The Nightmare Before Christmas is colored in simple solid colors (without human shading or details), the ornament appropriately does not have complex shading to it.

Still, Hallmark clearly made an effort on the "Dr. Finklestein" ornament and almost everything about the ornament looks good and functions well. Measuring four and a quarter inches tall, two and one-half inches wide and three inches deep, the "Dr. Finklestein" ornament is a little larger than some of the other The Nightmare Before Christmas Ornaments.

The Hallmark "Dr. Finklestein" ornament is made of a durable plastic, with some pretty decent sculpted details. In addition to the bolts in Dr. Finklestein's head and the stitches on the arm he is holding up, the wheelchair features spokes for the wheels and the joystick Finklestein uses to move the chair! The wheel in the back and the holes on the back of the chair are exceptional sculpted details for the ornament. This ornament remains fairly easy to find at Hallmark stores, so there is no reason to look for it yet in the secondary market, despite the fact that The Nightmare Before Christmas is pretty popular. This ornament features a battery to power the sound effect.

The “Dr. Finklestein” ornament has coloring that is generally simplistic. While the grays of the ground are mottled, as if it is an actual stonework, there are very few coloring accents on the character and his wheelchair. The source material is fairly simplistic, so it is unsurprising that most of the ornament is simplistically colored.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Dr. Finklestein" has a sound effect. On the side of the stone base, there is a very obvious button. The button, when pressed, activates the sound effect. The Dr. Finklestein ornament has two different sound clips and neither one is a truly iconic quote from the character. Indeed, one of the sound clips has Finklestein talking to Sally, who is not present on the ornament.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Dr. Finklestein" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Christmas Tree for The Nightmare Before Christmas, the "Dr. Finklestein" ornament is a bit obscure of a subject. The ornament has the standard steel hook loop embedded into the back, center, of Dr. Finklestein, which is made possible because the character is leaning forward in his wheelchair.

The placement of the loop makes this a fairly well-balanced ornament, though when it is knocked on the tree, it can be frontheavy and require adjustment.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Within a few years, virtually every major studio with a marketable property jumped on the bandwagon and began merchandising Christmas ornaments, including The Nightmare Before Christmas. "Dr. Finklestein" was the only The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament released in 2016 and fans seemed to like it, though it is quite common. Even so, this ornament appears to be more than adequately produced and is not likely to be a great investment piece. This is an ornament that might be better to wait until after the holiday is over and pick it up at half-price!

Overview

This year’s The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament might not fit the scale of some of the other ornaments in the franchise, but it adequately recreates “Dr. Finklestein,” even if the sound clip is somewhat unremarkable.

For other The Nightmare Before Christmas Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2014 "This Is Halloween" ornament
2014 Jack's Peculiar Pet - Limited Edition!
2013 Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares
2012 Jack Sneaks A Peek ornament
2011 A Snowy Surprise The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2009 Welcome To Christmastown

6.5/10

For other ornament reviews, please check out my Ornament Review Index Page!

© 2016 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Good, But Not Extraordinary: The Hallmark 2014 1989 Batmobile Ornament Is Cool!

The Good: Generally good sculpt, Generally good coloring
The Bad: Wheels don’t move, Seems small for the price.
The Basics: For 2014, the 25th Anniversary of Tim Burton’s Batman is commemorated by the Hallmark 1989 Batmobile ornament, which is all right.


With all of the reviews I have done, it actually surprised me to learn that I have never reviewed an ornament of a vehicle before! The closest, it turns out, that I ever came, was the Mr. Plow ornament (reviewed here!). But, with my love of most things from DC Entertainment, I felt compelled to give this year’s Hallmark ornament from Tim Burton’s Batman. The ornament is the 1989 Batmobile ornament and it is a fair, but not superlative, ornament.

For those unfamiliar with the film, Batman (reviewed here!), Bruce Wayne’s alter-ego drives around in a sleek black vehicle that allows him to survive attacks from bullets and rescue Vicki Vale. Batman drives around Gotham City in the Batmobile and each film features a different one. The 2014 Batman film ornament is the 1989 Batmobile and it is pretty cool.

Basics

The 1989 Batmobile ornament features just the Batmobile, without any characters evident in it. The simple ornament is cast in glossy black plastic and measures 4 1/4” long by 1 3/4" wide by 1” tall. With its sound feature, the 2014 1989 Batmobile ornament commanded a $17.95 initial price.

The Hallmark “1989 Batmobile” ornament is well-cast in black plastic. It includes the Batmobile’s wings, boxy cockpit and missile-like shape. The 1989 Batmobile ornament features such precisely-sculpted molded details like the tiny bat symbols on hubcaps. The symbols are painted on with gray paint and are one of the few painted accents on the ornament. The 1989 Batmobile has very simplistic coloring to it, but the Batmobile did as well.

While the ornament features a surprisingly ornate level of sculpted detailing to the bottom of the Batmobile, the 1989 Batmobile does not have movable wheels. That undermines the feeling of value to this ornament.

Features

Unlike most Hallmark Keepsake ornaments, the 2014 “1989 Batmobile” has no light effect, but it does have a sound clip that it plays. Powered by watch batteries, with the press of a button found on the back, top, of the ornament, the 1989 Batmobile plays the Danny Elfman theme to the film Batman. This seemed to be one of the more energetic themes from Batman, as opposed to the brooding piece that is perhaps more familiar to fans of the franchise. Regardless, the action-oriented theme is a decent one and fits the ornament well.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake “1989 Batmobile” ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate DC Comics-themed Christmas Tree, the “1989 Batmobile” ornament is a good addition. The ornament has a steel hook loop embedded into the top of the Batmobile, back near the “wings.” The loop's location is surprisingly unobtrusive given it is on top of the vehicle and it is necessary for the ornament. The “1989 Batmobile” ornament is well-balanced from that location. Because the vehicle is supposed to be level, the fact that it is well-balanced makes the ornament work conceptually like it is supposed to.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Within a few years, virtually every classic film franchise, persona, and pop culture icon jumped on the bandwagon and began merchandising with Hallmark as well. Classic properties like Marilyn Monroe, The Wizard Of Oz and both Marvel and DC Comics have been made into Hallmark Keepsake Christmas ornaments. “1989 Batmobile” is one of three Batman ornaments on the market in 2014. Fans of the film do not seem to be finding this ornament irresistible, as it appears perfectly available at every Hallmark Keepsake store I have been to since it was released in October. The ornament might end up as a decent investment piece if it is picked up on clearance after the holidays.

Overview

Fans of Batman, Tim Burton and Hallmark ornaments will find the 1989 Batmobile ornament to be worthwhile, even if it is not quite as nice in reality as the promo pictures for it made it out to be. The ornament is immaculately sculpted, but feels bland for its price. It is, still, worthwhile!

For other DC Universe Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2014 Bane The Dark Knight Rises (Limited Edition)
2014 Defender Of Mankind Superman
2013 Man Of Steel
2013 Descending Upon Gotham City Batman ornament
2012 The Bat The Dark Knight Rises Limited Edition Ornament
2012 Catwoman ornament
2012 "Beware My Power" Green Lantern ornament
2012 The Dark Knight Rises
2011 Batman Takes Flight
2011 Green Lantern
2010 Limited Edition Harley Quinn
2009 Wonder Woman ornament

6.5/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit my Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Crossover Between Christmas And Halloween, The 2014 Jack’s Peculiar Pet Is THE The Nightmare Before Christmas Ornament To Pick Up!

The Good: Inexpensive Enough, Limited edition nature, Good sculpt, Good coloring
The Bad: No feature, Slightly off-balance
The Basics: “Jack’s Peculiar Pet” is an awesome The Nightmare Before Christmas limited edition ornament that is worth picking up this year!


One of the most popular franchises of Hallmark ornaments has to be A Nightmare Before Christmas. Most years lately, Hallmark produces more than one ornament from the film The Nightmare Before Christmas and this year is no exception. As an alternative to the common-release ornament of the fountain that was shown for only about five seconds in the film, this year Hallmark did a limited edition ornament: “Jack’s Peculiar Pet.“ “Jack’s Peculiar Pet “ focuses on Jack Skellington’s ghost dog and it is one of the better Hallmark ornaments for a Disney-themed subject.

For those unfamiliar with A Nightmare Before Christmas (reviewed here!) Zero was Jack Skellington’s dog, who happened to be a ghost with a little jack o’lantern nose. When Skellington needs to get through the fog on Christmas, he calls upon Zero to guide his sleigh. It is Zero floating above his dog house that is the subject of the “Jack’s Peculiar Pet” ornament.

Basics

The "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" ornament recreates Zero, attached at the base of his flowing body to the roof of his dog house. The limited-edition ornament, released in 2014, is exceptionally accurate as it can be considering it is based upon an animated work for the source material. Because everything in A Nightmare Before Christmas is colored in simple solid colors (without human shading or details), the ornament appropriately does not have complex shading to it. That said, it looks perfectly like the dog house and ghost dog in the film.

Hallmark clearly made an effort on the "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" ornament, with amazing detailing on the very thin fence that surrounds the plot of Earth upon which Zero’s dog house rests. Zero has exceptional detailing in his nose, which looks perfectly like a jack o’lantern. Measuring two and three quarter inches tall (from the base to the top of the cross on Zero’s doghouse), two inches wide and two and three-eighths inches deep, the "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" ornament is a little smaller than many of the other The Nightmare Before Christmas Ornaments, but given how Zero is a smaller character, it fits the rest of the ornaments well.

The Hallmark "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" ornament is made of a durable plastic, with awesome very thin pieces, like Zero’s ears and the fence around the doghouse. This ornament sold out at most every Hallmark shop I have gone to since the October release, so most fans will only find it in the secondary market.

“Jack’s Peculiar Pet” ornament has pretty cool coloring details. The jack o’lantern nose is so well-detailed that it has beautiful yellow highlights in the tiny holes in the pumpkin nose. Zero himself is cast in a pearlescent white plastic that looks coolly ghostly.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" could have a light or sound function, but it has neither. Instead, this is a very basic ornament that I suspect would look awesome under a blacklight, but does not feature any lighting or sound clips.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Christmas Tree for A Nightmare Before Christmas, the "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" ornament is an impressive addition. The ornament has the standard steel hook loop embedded into the top, near center, of the doghouse’s roof. The cross on the roof of the doghouse hides the hook loop fairly well.

The placement of the loop makes this ornament a bit right-heavy. It leans to the right probably because Zero is attached to the right side of the roof of the doghouse. It is not seriously off-balance, but because the base is flat on the bottom, it is noticeably off balance.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Within a few years, virtually every major studio with a marketable property jumped on the bandwagon and began merchandising Christmas ornaments, including A Nightmare Before Christmas. "Jack’s Peculiar Pet" was one of two A Nightmare Before Christmas ornaments released in 2014 and fans bought them all up, as far as I can find. The original price of $14.95 is likely the lowest one will find it at as it is already appreciating in the secondary market. For those who can still find it stores, it seems like a good investment piece.

Overview

This year’s A Nightmare Before Christmas limited edition ornament is a real winner; Jack’s Peculiar Pet is one of the best Hallmark ornaments this year!

For other A Nightmare Before Christmas Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2014 "Welcome To Halloween" ornament
2013 Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares
2012 Jack Sneaks A Peek ornament
2011 A Snowy Surprise ornament
2009 Welcome To Christmastown ornament

8/10

For other ornament reviews, please check out my Ornament Review Index Page!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Creepy And Cool, “This Is Halloween” Is The 2014 The Nightmare Before Christmas Wide-Release Ornament!

The Good: Decent balance, Neat light effect, Good sculpt
The Bad: Creepy, Seems expensive for what it is, Simplistic coloring details
The Basics: “This Is Halloween” immortalizes a very quick moment in The Nightmare Before Christmas in a very average way.


Since Ornament Release Weekend began, I have been trying to review an ornament a day. Instead of just obsessing on the new, October, ornament releases, I decided to mix it up and review ornaments that have been on the shelves since July and the new releases. So, while there is a brand new, limited edition A Nightmare Before Christmas ornament, I’m looking back to the general-release ornament: “This Is Halloween.“

For those unfamiliar with A Nightmare Before Christmas (reviewed here!) Jack Skellington, a denizen of Halloweentown sings a whole song about the nature of Halloween and the horrors that occur in the town of Halloween. During the song and dance number, Jack Skellington finds himself in a fountain which pretty much vomits into the fountain to fill it with a green fluid. It is Skellington in the fountain, as it vomits its nuclear waste-like fluid into the fountain’s reservoir that is the subject of the “This Is Halloween” ornament.

Basics

The "This Is Halloween" ornament recreates Jack Skellington in his singing pose, standing in the fountain. The ornament includes the Jack, the dragon-like statue that makes up half the fountain and the fountain reservoir in which Jack is standing. The ornament, released in 2014, is as accurate as it can be considering it is based upon an animated work for the source material. Because everything in A Nightmare Before Christmas is colored in simple solid colors (without human shading or details), the ornament appropriately does not have complex shading to it.

Still, Hallmark clearly made an effort on the "This Is Halloween" ornament and almost everything about the ornament looks good and functions well. Jack Skellington has adequate detailing in his eyes and in his spindly legs and jacket. Measuring four and a quarter inches tall, two and three-quarter inches wide and two and five-eighths inches deep, the "This Is Halloween" ornament is a little smaller than many of the other The Nightmare Before Christmas Ornaments.

The Hallmark "This Is Halloween" ornament is made of a durable plastic, but because it has very thin pieces, like Skellington’s arms and tuxedo coattails, it seems a bit more brittle than other Hallmark ornaments. This ornament remains fairly easy to find at Hallmark stores, so there is no reason (yet) to look for it in the secondary market, despite the fact that A Nightmare Before Christmas is pretty popular. This ornament features a battery to power the light effect.

What drives down the “This Is Halloween” ornament is that the sculpt of the fountain is pretty incredible, but the coloring of it is simplistic. While the grays of the fountain are mottled, as if it is an actual rock-based dragon, there is very little coloring that accents the molded crevices on the fountain and the fountain dragon. As a result, the bricks and scales are molded into the ornament, but they do not pop. The result is that “This Is Halloween” is actually a somewhat boring ornament.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "This Is Halloween" has both a light and sound effect. On the side of the fountain reservoir, there is a very well-concealed button. The button, when pressed, activates the light effect. The light effect is cool, but a bit simple. There column of green “vomit” lights up and the glow is awesome. Unfortunately, the rest of the pool of fluid is not lit up, so the light effect does not spread out over the whole rest of the ornament. The sound effect is a sound clip from the song “This Is Halloween.” It is a good sound clip, though it is not a very long or particularly distinctive clip of the song. The sound clip is loud enough, but not the whole song at all. As a result, it cuts off in a somewhat problematic way for truly immortalizing the moment.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "This Is Halloween" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Christmas Tree for A Nightmare Before Christmas, the "This Is Halloween" ornament is a necessary addition. The ornament has the standard steel hook loop embedded into the top, back of the dragon’s back, between its wings. The wings actually hide the hook loop fairly well.

The placement of the loop makes this a perfectly balanced ornament, which is surprising given how much of the ornament is positioned in front of the dragon statue.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Within a few years, virtually every major studio with a marketable property jumped on the bandwagon and began merchandising Christmas ornaments, including A Nightmare Before Christmas. "This Is Halloween" was one of two A Nightmare Before Christmas ornaments released in 2014 and fans seemed to like it, though it is quite common. Even so, this ornament appears to be more than adequately produced and is not likely to be a great investment piece. This is an ornament that might be better to wait until after the holiday is over and pick it up half-price!

Overview

This year’s A Nightmare Before Christmas wide-release ornament is kind of gross and not as rich on the details as one might hope, but “This Is Halloween” still has enough to loosely recommend it.

For other Disney-themed Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2014 All Eyes On Belle Beauty And The Beast ornament
2014 Olaf Frozen ornament
2013 Under The Sea The Little Mermaid
2013 The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares
2013 Tiana's Party Dress The Princess And The Frog ornament
2013 Beautiful Belle Beauty And The Beast
2013 Fierce With A Frying Pan Tangled ornament
2013 Ariel's Big Dream The Little Mermaid ornament
2013 Merida The Archer Brave ornament
2012 The Circle Of Life The Lion King ornament
2012 Jack Sneaks A Peek The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2012 Monsters, Inc. ornament
2012 Merida Brave ornament
2012 It's All About The Hair Tangled ornament
2011 Rapunzel Tangled ornament
2011 CLU’s Light Cycle from Tron: Legacy ornament
2011 Up ornament
2011 A Snowy Surprise The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2011 Captain Jack Sparrow Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament
2010 Tron: Legacy Light Cycle ornament
2009 Welcome To Christmastown The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament

5/10

For other ornament reviews, please check out my Ornament Review Index Page!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Bulky, Goofy, Burtonesque: The 2013 The Nightmare Before Christmas Ornament – Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares – Is Average-At-Best

The Good: Looks interesting, Big, Affordable
The Bad: Balance issues, Breakable, Not iconic
The Basics: "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" is a troublingly imbalanced ornament from Hallmark from The Nightmare Before Christmas, though it can be found dirt cheap now.


Hallmark knows its audience very well. They seem to know who their reliable customers are when it comes to their holiday ornaments. One of their annual ornaments is always from A Nightmare Before Christmas and 2013 was no exception; Hallmark released the “Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares” ornament. Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares is an all right ornament for fans of The Nightmare Before Christmas, though it is unbalanced and seems to be one of the more breakable Hallmark ornaments . . . ever. While inspecting Hallmark ornaments for review late last year, I found three Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares ornaments with breakage to the sled’s blades.

For those unfamiliar with The Nightmare Before Christmas (reviewed here!) Jack Skellington, a denizen of Halloweentown finds himself transported to Christmastown in a bizarre turn of events and there the spirit of Christmas (or, at least, an obsession with Santa Claus) reaches Jack and he tries to bring that back to Halloweentown. It is Jack, seated at the helm of his absurd sled/tank with goggles on that is the subject of "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares." The Hallmark "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" ornament is a very basic ornament and not one that is iconic of The Nightmare Before Christmas, though for fans who can find it inexpensively now, it is different than all the other The Nightmare Before Christmas ornaments Hallmark has produced.

Basics

The "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" ornament recreates Jack Skellington seated at the helm of the weird drill-like tank-like sleigh he rode briefly in The Nightmare Before Christmas. The ornament, released in 2013, is as authentic as it can be considering it is based upon an animated work for the source material. Because everything in A Nightmare Before Christmas is colored in simple solid colors (without human shading or details), the ornament appropriately does not have any coloring depth or shading to it.

Still, Hallmark clearly made an effort on the "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" ornament and almost everything about the ornament looks good and functions well. Jack Skellington has adequate detailing in his lips and mouth and in his spindly legs and his arms. The ornament even has Jack’s coattails hanging down between the main sleigh and the sleigh with the bag of gifts that trails it! The character's arms in his distinctive striped jacket's sleeves are visible and there are even the weird cranks molded into the side of the sleigh. At 3" tall and almost twice as long, the "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" ornament is the same price as similar size ornaments (originally released at $19.95, but now found at half price pretty easily).

The Hallmark "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" ornament is made of plastic, though it is not as durable as collectors might hope. The finely molded sleigh blades descend from the ridiculous green sleigh and they are so fine that if the ornament falls, they may break off. As previously noted, having visited six Hallmark stores and found three broken ornaments, the fragility of the Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares ornament cannot be overstated. The coloring on the Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares ornament may be accurate, but it looks very plastic and ridiculous with its bright, olive green nose.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" has no light effect or sound effect. The ornament is just fragile plastic and fine detailing (like the treads on the sleigh!), without the need for any light or sound function; there was no organic place for a light effect and a sound chip would have probably driven the price up to well over the $19.95 original issue price.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Christmas Tree for A Nightmare Before Christmas, the "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" ornament is an extravagance. It is utterly unnecessary. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top front of the second sled. It is actually a pretty discrete position for the hook loop, but from there, the ornament is ridiculously front-heavy. The ornament pitches downward at a pretty extreme angle and I was not able to get any of them to hang level or less than thirty degrees descending; usually, it hangs closer to a 45 degree angle pointing downward!

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (reviewed here!). Within a few years, virtually every major studio with a marketable property jumped on the bandwagon and began merchandising Christmas ornaments, including Disney, which produced The Nightmare Before Christmas. "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" was the only The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament released in 2013 and fans seemed pretty neutral to it. As a result, I have been able to find this ornament easily after the holidays at clearance prices. I suspect it will be one of the few The Nightmare Before Christmas ornaments that does not appreciate in value any time soon, if at all.

Overview

Despite the fact that "Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares" was manufactured with pretty incredible attention to detail, the balance issue is enough to sour casual fans on it. The Nightmare Before Christmas might be a reliable subject for Hallmark ornaments, but in 2013, Hallmark missed the mark with their ornament based on the film. Fans who are considering picking it up anyway should be sure the one they are getting is intact, given their fragile nature.

For other The Nightmare Before Christmas ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2012 Jack Sneaks A Peek
2011 A Snowy Surprise
2009 Welcome To Christmastown

4.5/10

For other ornament reviews, please check out my Toy And Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Two Directors Create A Series That Becomes The Best Cinematic Example Of The Law Of Diminishing Returns: The Batman Anthology

The Good: The first two films are good, Val Kilmer is decent, Great DVD/Blu-Ray bonus features!
The Bad: Joel Schumacher’s works, Repetitive plots, Series inconsistencies, Even the good films have not agd particularly well
The Basics: With no consisted story or direction, the Batman movies of Tim Burton and Joel Schumacher make for an unfortunately inconsistent series that gets worse with each installment after a point.


With the recent end of the Dark Knight Trilogy (reviewed here!), the cinematic Batman franchise is once again in limbo. That is a state not entirely unfamiliar to Warner Bros., who owns the rights to the franchise and is the studio that produces all of the films based on DC Comics properties. With the abrupt end of the Batman movies of the 1990s, the franchise had to regroup and reboot. Before the powerful, thematically complex and decidedly adult The Dark Knight Trilogy, there were the Batman films of 1989 – 1997, now encapsulated in a boxed set known as Batman: The Motion Picture Anthology 1989 – 1997.

Batman: The Motion Picture Anthology 1989 – 1997 is an incredible example of what happens when a surprise hit becomes a lucrative cash cow for a studio and that cow is milked too frequently and too hard. It is also a prime example of what happens to a franchise when the creative teams behind the camera and the talent in front of the camera are not kept consistent (in The Dark Knight Trilogy only one performer was recast!) and the vision by the later forces working on the series is clearly an attempt to capitalize on the formula as opposed to build upon the story and prior successes. The result is that Batman: The Motion Picture Anthology 1989 – 1997 is a film series that starts intriguing, rises well, and then steadily declines until its abrupt and painful crash.

Batman: The Motion Picture Anthology 1989 – 1997 consists of the films:
Batman
Batman Returns
Batman Forever
and Batman & Robin. The first two are directed by Tim Burton, the latter two by Joel Schumacher and three different actors play Bruce Wayne/Batman over the course of the four films!

In Batman, a young Bruce Wayne witnesses his father and mother being killed by a mysterious assassin. As an adult, Bruce Wayne manages the giant company left to him by his father by day and at night, he takes up armor and a cape to dispense vigilante justice on the streets of Gotham City. As the press pushes the police to admit that the Batman exists, a local gangster is smoked during a robbery of a chemical factory that goes horribly wrong. However, when Batman accidentally lets the gangster fall into a vat of chemicals, the man is not killed, but rather transformed into a psychopathic killer. Waging a battle with chemical weapons, the Joker menaces Gotham City and threatens to undo all the good Batman is working for.

Batman Returns happens around Christmastime a short time later. Gotham City is hit with a crime wave from a gang of thugs who use old circus equipment. While Batman keeps them in check, he is not prepared for the city to have to deal with more threats. Those threats come in the form of a mysterious man, Oswald Cobblepot, who literally rises out of the sewers to save an abducted baby and a catburgler who seems bent on wreaking vengeance at night to make up for her unsatisfying daytime life (and the fact that her boss tried to kill her). While Bruce Wayne fends off a corporate attack from his rival, Max Shreck, he finds romance with Selena Kyle and it slowly begins to dawn on him that she is the same person as the mysterious Catwoman he fights at night. When Shreck uses Cobblepot as a pawn to take the mayor’s office, the fallout creates a villain who wants to kill all the firstborn of Gotham City.

Joel Schumacher took over behind the camera and Val Kilmer took on the role of Bruce Wayne in Batman Forever. In that, a demented former-District Attorney, Harvey Dent, begins a reign of terror and violence (focused on bank robberies) as the villainous Two-Face. Bruce Wayne’s problems are multiplied, though, when one of his employees creates a device that can drain the brains of the citizens of Gotham City and unlock all the secrets the people there have. As Batman squares off against Two-Face and the Riddler, he is aided by a forensic psychologist and a young acrobat who lost his parents and wants to fight crime as well . . . Robin.

George Clooney’s only outing in the cape and cowl comes in Batman & Robin where Batman and Robin are assisted by Alfred’s neice, who takes up the alter ego of Batgirl. The pair could use her help as they are bickering over how to take down the formidable Mr. Freeze and they fall under the love spell-style charms of Poison Ivy and her thug, Bane.

To his credit, Tim Burton’s two outings – in addition to being appropriately weird (as one expects from Tim Burton’s works) – have larger themes. Batman explores crime and the nature of justice vs. the pitfalls of revenge and Batman Returns has a great deal about empowering women and the snares of political corruption. Unfortunately, by the time Batman Forever comes up, the writers and director are working for big action, flamboyant villains, and star power, as opposed to trying to create films of substance. This is not to say that Tim Burton got everything right in his two films. While the miniatures look great, even by today’s standards, Batman is surprisingly slow and the focus on the Joker is far less compelling in-context of Batman’s story than it is as a stand-alone film.

That said, it is almost inarguable that Tim Burton helped effectively usher in the youth culture mindset of the 1990s with Batman and then the even more violent Batman Returns. The two films created a nihilistic sense of the world; crime ran rampant and the victories were more ambiguous than celebratory and the hero uses many of the same methods as the villains, just with nobler purpose.

Val Kilmer was not a bad choice to replace Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne and Batman and he had the physical presence to pull off the dual roles more plausibly than Keaton, who played the part of Bruce Wayne as more goofy than gallant. Kilmer, however, was saddled with a particularly weak script with Batman Forever and a film that was intended to be a Jim Carrey vehicle and ended up disappointing on so many fronts. Joel Schumacher’s Batman Forever also prioritized casting (the entire series has pretty impressive guest cast members from the major – Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito, Michelle Pfeiffer, Tommy Lee Jones, Jim Carrey, Uma Thurman and Arnold Schwarzenegger – to the supporting players who flesh out surprisingly minor roles – Kim Bassinger, Robert Wuhl, Christopher Walken, Drew Barrymore, John Glover, Vivica A. Fox) over fidelity to the series thus far. To wit, in Batman, Harvey Dent was played by Billy Dee Williams and in Batman Forever he is recast with Tommy Lee Jones. It takes a lot more than an acid bath from a mobster to make Billy Dee Williams into Tommy Lee Jones!

The epitome of Schumacher’s obsession with star power and spectacle over substance is in Batman & Robin. There, Arnold Schwarzenegger appears as Mr. Freeze, a character written with a thin backstory surrounding his attempts to cure his wife (who is in suspended animation), but is executed as a character constructed almost entirely of catchphrases. To wit, his big monologue from the film’s trailer, where he introduces himself as a threat to Gotham City appears in the film’s middle, after he is incarcerated, when he introduces himself to two people (his jailers) who know exactly who he is! It is this type of stupidity that shook the series and almost gutted this franchise.

Performances in the Batman movies in this set are generally good. Michael Keaton is an intriguing Bruce Wayne and he pulled off the action sequences for Batman better than most might have suspected. Jack Nicholson performed opposite him in Batman with a flamboyancy and menace that worked beautifully to define the character of the Joker. Danny DeVito gives one of his most underrated performances as Oswald Cobblepot (the Penguin) and Michelle Pfeiffer and Keaton had great on-screen chemistry in Batman Returns. While Val Kilmer and Chris O’Donnell did fine as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson, George Clooney seemed unusually stiff when he took up the mantle in Batman & Robbin. The less said about Jim Carrey, Uma Thurman, and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the better.

On DVD and Blu-Ray, the Batman Anthology is chock full of goodies. There are extensive featurettes on the production of the films, from concept designs through casting and the bonus features provide a wealth of insight into how moviemaking was done, especially at the birth of CG effects. Fans of Batman may want to champion the whole series, but given how most people will only watch bonus featurettes once, the full Batman Anthology is hardly worth investing in. Tim Burton’s works might be worth picking up, but Joel Schumacher’s outings oscillate between the disappointing and the outright insulting.

For other live-action DC superhero works, please check out my reviews of:
Green Lantern
Jonah Hex
Watchmen
Superman Returns
Catwoman
Batman & Robin
Supergirl
Superman
Wonder Woman

3.5/10

For other film reviews, please visit my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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The Modern Mediocrity Of Tim Burton Continues With Frankenweenie

The Good: Decent voice work, Good animation
The Bad: Plot and characters fail to pop, Nothing superlative
The Basics: Tim Burton’s latest animated film, Frankenweenie takes a very simple premise and drags it out to an awkward length.


Tim Burton’s works are almost universally hailed as creative, even outside the cult of fans who have grown up outside his works. Inside the fan culture that follows Tim Burton’s works religiously, there is no differentiation between his films; they are all met with the universal declaration that the latest work is a “creative masterpiece” or a work of “creative genius.” With Burton’s latest, Frankenweenie, it will be hard even for those within the bubble of his fandom to call it brilliant.

Frankenweenie is an awkward animated film that does not seem to know what it wants, precisely, to be. Unlike the Tim Burton animated musicals, Frankenweenie does seem to be attempting to tap clearly into the adult and young adult demographic, much like Coraline (reviewed here!) a few years back. But, beyond that, the film’s execution does not move toward the clearly horrific (despite the final act) and the animation makes it very hard for the adult viewer to take the horror seriously. Based (apparently) on an earlier short that Burton made thirty years ago, Frankenweenie barely makes it to full feature-length. As I have never seen the original Frankenweenie, this review is entirely for the new Tim Burton, full-length film.

Victor Frankenstein is a boy who has one real, true, friend in the world: his dog Sparky. They play together and Victor, an aspiring child filmmaker, uses his dog in his home movies. When Sparky is killed, Victor is traumatized and despondent. With his love of monster movies and classic horror movies, Victor comes to believe he can resurrect Sparky. As unlikely as it initially seems, Victor is successful and he is thrilled to have more time with his beloved dog.

Unfortunately, despite the miracle of science Victor has achieved and his desire to keep is quiet, soon many people know about Sparky’s miraculous resurrection. Other children are afraid of Sparky or want Victor to resurrect their pets. But as local fear grows, Victor finds his relationship stressed as Sparky flees and the town turns against them.

Frankenweenie, far more than being original or clever, is an animated Frankenstein where the “monster” is a dog instead of an amalgam of human flesh. As a result, the themes of alienation and loss in Frankenstein are not fully developed in Burton’s film. So, the eventual mob scene is more predictable than organic and Victor’s motivation is less audacious than it ought to have been. Dr. Frankenstein was a man of science and while Victor is clearly experiencing exceptional loss, Burton and writer John August never develop it enough to make his subsequent actions seem truly believable.

On the flipside, the ignorance of the townspeople is entirely developed and predictable. Burton’s Frankenweenie makes the passing attempt to develop the arguments of reason vs. emotion, science vs. religious faith well, but even there he is preaching to the choir. Mr. Rzykruski’s tirades against the idiocy of the locals are not going to wake the anti-scientists wake up and realize their folly. Still, the effort is appreciated by the open-minded viewers.

On the animation front, Frankenweenie is good, but the character designs are exactly what one might expect of Tim Burton following Corpse Bride and The Nightmare Before Christmas. The black and white is fine, though the strange nostalgic quality looks somewhat ridiculous in crystal clear, digital projection. Frankenweenie’s faults are not in the effects.

Neither are the problems with the voice performances. Frankenweenie’s characters may be underdeveloped and walking through the motions of another story’s predestination for them, but the voice actors do fairly well by them. Catherine O’Hara, Martin Short, and Martin Landau all use their voice talents to realistically emote, especially for concern and frustration. Charlie Tahan bears the brunt of the voicework and he does fine. He is a kid playing a kid and he does well, especially for portraying sadness.

Short and filled with the feeling of being uninspired, Frankenweenie is a mediocre, often pointlessly frenetic, reimagining of Frankenstein that never completely pops.

For other works directed by Tim Burton, please check out my reviews of:
Dark Shadows
Alice In Wonderland
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street
Corpse Bride
Charlie And The Chocolate Factory
Big Fish
Batman Returns
Edward Scissorhands
Batman

4/10

For other film reviews, please check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Jack Sneaks A Peak At A Generally Cool Ornament!

The Good: Decent balance, Generally cute, Good sculpt, Good coloring
The Bad: Light effect is underwhelming and thus the ornament seems expensive.
The Basics: “Jack Sneaks A Peek” finds Jack Skellington looking behind the Christmas Tree!


It has been so long since I last saw The Nightmare Before Christmas that I almost think it is time for me to give it another shake and see if I like it this time! Despite having not seen it in some time, I do tend to make an effort to review the annual The Nightmare Before Christmas Hallmark ornament, like the 2009 “Welcome To Christmastown” ornament (reviewed here!) and the 2011 “A Snowy Surprise” ornament (reviewed here!). For 2012, that ornament is the Jack Sneaks A Peek ornament.

For those unfamiliar with The Nightmare Before Christmas (click here for my full review of the movie!) Jack Skellington, a denizen of Halloweentown finds himself transported to Christmastown in a bizarre turn of events and there the spirit of Christmas (or, at least, an obsession with Santa Claus) reaches Jack. It is Jack opening the portal to Christmastown, embedded in a stump that is the subject of "Jack Sneaks A Peek." To add extra value to this ornament, Hallmark provided the "Jack Sneaks A Peek" ornament with a simple bright white light effect.

Basics

The "Jack Sneaks A Peek" ornament recreates Jack Skellington as he eagerly pulls on the handle on the Christmas tree door. The ornament includes the Jack, the stump/ground, and the tree. The ornament, released in 2012, is as authentic as it can be considering it is based upon an animated work for the source material. Because everything in A Nightmare Before Christmas is colored in simple solid colors (without human shading or details), the ornament appropriately does not have any coloring depth or shading to it.

Still, Hallmark clearly made an effort on the "Jack Sneaks A Peek" ornament and almost everything about the ornament looks good and functions well. Jack Skellington has adequate detailing in his eyes and in his spindly legs and jacket. The stump even has appropriate age lines. Measuring 3 3/4" tall, 2 ¾” wide, and 2” deep, the "Jack Sneaks A Peek" ornament is a fairly substantial ornament, but even with the light feature, given how very basic it actually is, it seems a little pricier.

The Hallmark "Jack Sneaks A Peek" ornament is made of a durable plastic, but because it has very thin pieces, like Skellington’s legs and arms, it seems a bit more brittle than other Hallmark ornaments. This ornament remains fairly easy to find at Hallmark stores, so there is no reason (yet) to look for it in the secondary market, despite the fact that A Nightmare Before Christmas is pretty popular. This ornament features a cord to power the light effect and is one of the few that does that instead of utilizing batteries.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Jack Sneaks A Peek" has a light effect, but no sound effect. Whenever the light cord is plugged into a strand of Christmas lights (you must remove the bulb first), the bright white light from the crack behind the Christmas tree (which helps to indicate that this is a doorway to somewhere magical) lights up. I was utterly unimpressed with this. The light effect is not so bright as to create a real blinding stream, so one is left with a mediocre sense of illumination that merely lights up the hollow stump. That’s a big disappointment. This is a rather simplistic effect and because most fans of The Nightmare Before Christmas are comparatively younger, odds are they will want more from this ornament than just that.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Jack Sneaks A Peek" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Christmas Tree for The Nightmare Before Christmas, the "Jack Sneaks A Peek" ornament is a decent addition and arguably one of the most appropriately Christmas-themed ornaments from the line. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top center of the stump. This is fairly obvious and necessary for the ornament.

The placement of the loop makes this a perfectly balanced ornament, which is surprising given how tall it is and how complicated the figure on it looks. Nevertheless, it hangs with the flat floor upon which Jack stands perfectly parallel to the floor!

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for my review!). Within a few years, virtually every major studio with a marketable property jumped on the bandwagon and began merchandising Christmas ornaments, including A Nightmare Before Christmas. "Jack Sneaks A Peek" was the only A Nightmare Before Christmas ornament released in 2012 and fans seemed to like it, though it is quite common. Even so, this ornament appears to be more than adequately produced and is not likely to be a great investment piece.

Overview

Despite not precisely recalling the moment that is the source material for the “Jack Sneaks A Peek” ornament, the new Hallmark The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament truly holds up for ornament collectors and Tim Burton fans!

For other 2012 genre Christmas ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
On Stranger Tides Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament
Edward And Bella’s Wedding Twilight ornament
The Final Battle Harry Potter ornament

9/10

For other ornament reviews, please check out my index page!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Cramming Five Years Of Horror Soap Opera Into A Two Hour “Comedy,” Tim Burton’s Dark Shadows Fizzles.

The Good: Decent plot, Moments of character
The Bad: Tries to service too many characters/plotlines, Nothing stellar on the acting front, Promotions spoiled almost all of the humor.
The Basics: Dark Shadows is resurrected by Tim Burton as a very mediocre horror/comedy that satisfies on neither front.


Dark Shadows is, admittedly, a tough franchise to take over. The campy mid-1960s-early 1970s horror soap opera has a cult following earned by being highly original at the time it made its debut. But the show was a soap opera and, as such, went through several incarnations and a whole slew of characters. Any attempt to resurrect Dark Shadows ran the danger of offending the fanbase that would be predisposed to go see such a film and isolating the general public who might be wary of a horror soap opera. So, fundamentally, Tim Burton seems to be doing all he can to balance the conflicting potential audiences with the new film Dark Shadows. What we are forced to acknowledge with Dark Shadows, though, is that not every balancing act is successful.

Dark Shadows is presented by Tim Burton as an inconsistent horror-comedy, much like Arachnophobia attempted to innovate over twenty years ago. Unfortunately, Burton’s stacked deck, utilizing his usual players Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter, Christopher Lee (for a cameo), and trading on the predictable draw of skinny blondes Eva Green, Bella Heathcote, and Chloe Grace Moretz fumbles its mixed potential. Dark Shadows is crowded and more often sloppy, with so many underdeveloped aspects that it is hard to imagine many of the fans being pleased by the film.

Before getting into more specifics, it is worth acknowledging that Tim Burton did what he could with the tools given to him. Restarting Dark Shadows as a film franchise is a Herculean task in many ways. Indeed, many of the diehard fans that Burton had to please with the film might be reluctant to acknowledge that Barnabas Collins – arguably the prime reason Dark Shadows survived and had a popular following at all – did not arrive for almost a hundred episodes. The original Dark Shadows listed lazily along for months until it found its legs and was headed in a direction that fans were engaged by. So, doing a pure reboot of Dark Shadows was never really an option, especially as a cinematic endeavor.

Even so, there were a lot of avenues a Dark Shadows reboot could have gone in (one of the most imaginative would have been to start it with the Leviathan plotline or a full film with one of the many Collins family backstory arcs) and Burton went with arguably the most obvious. By focusing on Barnabas Collins, Tim Burton banks on the most popular potential avenue of Dark Shadows and when the film focuses on the struggle between Barnabas and Angelique, the movie is viewable, if not in any way enduringly great. The problem that predominates Burton’s Dark Shadows is that he tries to service all of the characters and the film ends up feeling like a second-rate retread of The Addams Family.

In Colonial America, the Collins family arrives to establish their fishing business. Building an entire town, the Collins family prospers and Collinsport thrives due to their influence. But young Barnabas Collins spurns the wrong woman when he rejects the servant girl Angelique in favor of Josette. Angelique, who is a very powerful witch, kills Barnabas’s parents and uses her magic to have Josette walk off a cliff to die on the rocks below Collinwood. When Barnabas leaps to follow her, Angelique curses him, transforming him into a vampire who cannot die. When that does not bring Barnabas to her, Angelique rallies the townspeople and they bury Barnabas.

Almost two hundred years later, in 1972, the Collins family is in decline, with Elizabeth running the nearly abandoned Collinwood and presiding over the remnants of the family. Roger Collins, a widower, is raising his son David (who sees his mother’s ghost) and Elizabeth hired Victoria Winters to act as nanny and tutor. Also occupying Collinwood are Elizabeth’s daughter Carolyn, the psychotherapist Dr. Julia Hoffman, and the groundskeeper, Willie Loomis. When a dig unearths Barnabas, the vampire feeds and returns to Collinwood where he makes himself known to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth allies herself with Barnabas on the hope that his plans to revitalize the family business will work. But almost immediately, Angelique – who has survived and been bleeding the Collins family business dry as their main competitor – learns of Barnabas’s return and she sets out to win him over. Failing to lure him away from his interest in Victoria, who appears to be Josette resurrected, Angelique sets out to destroy the Collins family once and for all.

Right off the bat, it is worth noting that Dark Shadows as a comedy reinvention of the campy soap opera original is almost entirely ruined by the promotional campaign surrounding the movie. Tim Burton did not have a bad idea when he tried to transform something that was arguably hokey into a comedy, but the advertisements spoiled almost all of the humor by revealing most of the film’s jokes! The result is that those who have seen the trailers have seen most of the comedy, are unsurprised by it, and are left with a stiff horror that is more cluttered than ever scary or intriguing in its supernatural elements. The exception to this is in the character of Willie Loomis. Willie’s presence in Dark Shadows is firmly rooted in the comedic and the best unspoiled lines of the film are all delivered by him.

Unfortunately, spoiling the film – or presenting it through advertising as one type of film when it is much more of a blend – ends up as only one problem. Within the movie itself, Dark Shadows tries to take on too much. While it is clear that the writers Seth Grahame-Smith and John August have a clear knowledge of the original Dark Shadows, they try to cram pretty much all they know into one movie. This would be like making an NCIS movie wherein the film tried to incorporate everyone’s favorite moments into one movie. It simply doesn’t work.

As a result, the Josette/Victoria character and plot arc is sacrificed to a somewhat ridiculous ball scene featuring Alice Cooper. Dr. Julia Hoffman, established as a drunkard and a believer in the paranormal, ends up cut ridiculously fast (Hoffman’s attempt to cure Barnabas of his vampirism was a multi-week arc in the original show) and Carolyn’s supernatural revelation is revealed as if it were an afterthought. Saving any of these plotlines for a subsequent movie could have made the conflict between Angelique and Barnabas a more focused and compelling plot. As it is, though, the Victoria Winters aspect of the film seems more like a convenient plot device by which Angelique manipulates Barnabas and adds a slight bump in the character conflict to the climax of the movie.

The acting in Dark Shadows is entirely unsurprising. Johnny Depp plays Barnabas Collins virtually identically to how he has played any number of prior outsider characters (usually in Tim Burton films!). Similarly, Helena Bonham Carter gives us nothing new and Michelle Pfeiffer returns to the Burton fold in a vastly less memorable way than her performance of Selena Kyle in Batman Returns. Eva Green is largely just a pretty face (throughout much of the film, she seemed to simply be channeling Alice Eve) and Bella Heathcote’s bland performance of Victoria was not enough to make me look up any other film she has been in.

The only real surprise from the acting is from Jackie Earle Haley. Haley, who came to my attention as the intense anti-hero Rorschach in Watchmen (reviewed here!) before taking up the mantle of Freddy Krueger in A Nightmare On Elm Street (reviewed here!) pulls off comedy well in Dark Shadows. Willie Loomis is a dimwit and Jackie Earle Haley plays him as a slow, somewhat moronic character exceptionally well. He is the only real reason to sit through Dark Shadows

Alas, it is not enough. Dark Shadows is still on the underside of average movies and it is unsurprising that it is being met with a lukewarm response. Even Tim Burton fans, who might appreciate the color contrast, but lament the otherwise lacking sense of Burton’s surrealism, are likely to be unimpressed by Dark Shadows.

For other works with Chloe Grace Moretz, please check out my reviews of:
Hugo
Kick-Ass
Bolt

4/10

For other film reviews, please visit my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing of all the films I have reviewed!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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