Showing posts with label Stuart Gillard. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stuart Gillard. Show all posts

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Not Even For The Nostalgia: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 25th Anniversary Collection Flops!


The Good: Moments of concept, TMNT is not terrible, Moments of performance
The Bad: Terrible writing, Repetitive plots, Often atrocious effects, Inconsistent acting/casting
The Basics: The four-pack Blu-Ray Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 25th Anniversary Collection illustrates just how bad comic book-based movies can be.


When the woman who would become my wife came into my life, nothing drove home the difference in ages between us to me like her affinity for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Some of my peers were into the animated television series Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, but by the time the live action films had begun, most were beyond that. My charge when babysitting, however, was a huge fan. So, it turns out, is my wife. As a result, for one of our anniversaries, I picked her up the boxed set Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 25th Anniversary Collection, a four DVD set that compiles the four live action/CGI Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films.

Those who have a nostalgic attachment to the franchise, these films might be gold, but it is hard to imagine who exactly might get good mileage out of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 25th Anniversary Collection. This film “saga” it that bad.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles – 25th Anniversary Collection is a simple compilation pack of:
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2: The Secret Of The Ooze
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time
TMNT
with no additional discs or bonus features than on the original DVD/Blu-Ray release. There are, however, booklets, cards and other collectible swag in the pizza box collector’s edition of the films.

For those unfamiliar with the franchise, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are, as their name suggests, four turtles who were mutated through exposure to a green mutagenic goo that made them giant, bipedal, and exceptionally smart. Trained by a rat with similar size and intelligence, Master Splinter, the four turtles – Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael, and Leonardo – train to become powerful vigilantes. However, because they have the mentalities of teenagers, they crack wise, eat lots of pizza and make a mess of things about as much as they actually protect people. Aided by the intrepid reporter April O’Neil and the slacker Casey Jones, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles fight crime in the form of the evil Shredder, his mutants, and similar villains.

After a couple turns with Shredder, the Turtles return for a time travel adventure, before a stylistic overhaul for the final installment. This makes for an exceptionally erratic viewing experience. When the first three films are basically live-action actors running around in foam rubber suits (albeit, by the third they had the technical details of the suits worked out better than the first two installments) and the final movie is a computer generated animated work, it is hard to watch them one after another and feel like one is watching something set in the same universe.

The acting throughout the series is homogenously bad, though for TMNT, the voice actors are of a caliber that makes the film viewable, at the very least. But, more often than not, the fights look cheesy by any standard, the actors miss eye-lines and have awkward line deliveries, which makes the movies less campy and more terrible.

The plots are pretty obvious, repetitive heroic plots, with a little bit of teenage/group dynamic angst thrown in the last three movies to make a pass at character development. It is, however, only a passing attempt and these films are much more about fights and zany one-liners that the producers hoped would make it onto merchandising. For serious cinephiles, this is a set that may be easily passed by.

For other film collections, please visit my reviews of:
The Dark Knight Trilogy
The Harry Potter Saga
The Back To The Future Trilogy

2/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Monday, December 10, 2012

Even Without Temporal Mechanic Nitpicks, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time Still Sucks.


The Good: Successfully creates the “reality” of the situations/Most of the acting
The Bad: Preposterous plot, Utter lack of character development, Terrible dialogue, Horrible fight choreography
The Basics: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time is one of the worst sequels of all time and a disappointment to anyone but the die-hard fans of the franchise.


A few years back, I bought my wife the Blu-Ray 25th Anniversary Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles collection. She immediately had us watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (reviewed here!) and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret Of The Ooze (reviewed here!). I was not quite sure of what to think when she showed absolutely no inclination to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time. Or, at least, I had no idea why she would not be excited to watch that film until now.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time is horrible. Sometimes, there is no delicate way to put it and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time is just a ridiculously bad movie.

Continuing the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles film franchise and stalling the career Paige Turco could have had (though her awesome character arc on NYPD Blue did follow this), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time has the four familiar, oversized ninja turtles in a time-travel adventure, filled with their characteristic exuberance, ridiculous one-liners and fight sequences where no one actually connects with anyone.

Starting in 1604 Japan, where a bandit is being pursued by the Imperial warriors, the film jumps to the modern sewers of New York City and the homes of Leonardo, Donatello, Raphael, Michaelangelo, and Master Splinter – four oversized talking turtles and their rat mentor. There, April O’Neil visits as she prepares to go on vacation, delivering gifts for her friends. One item she brings is a scepter, which suddenly causes her to disappear and a feudal Japanese warrior to appear in her place. As April is imprisoned by Lord Norinaga as a witch, the Turtles try to figure out how to go back in time to save her. Reasoning that the scepter requires others in the target time period to be in contact with it in order for the displacement to occur, and with only sixty hours to find April and return home, the Turtles make the swap.

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles take the places of four of the royal guard and they find April easily enough. However, they have arrived back in the middle of an uprising and after saving a village and a child there from pirates and a burning building, the Turtles earn the trust of Mitsu, the rebel leader. The Turtles must recover the scepter and help stop the pirates working for Norinaga before returning to their own time.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time is an unfortunately ridiculous film is essentially a hammy kid’s movie geared for a teenage audience that should be too smart to actually enjoy it. The best that can be reasonably said about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time is that the actors fully invest in the premise and the effects. The four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are actors running around in obvious vinyl suits, which admittedly look pretty good in the live-action world, but everyone they encounter treats them as perfectly real and viable. They sell the reality of the situation, even if Splinter looks far less real than the Turtles.

The concept of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time is a weak enough one that the film stretches to flesh out even ninety-six minutes. To get up to time, the movie vamps in the middle with scenes with Casey Jones, a banal subplot between April and Whit, and an attempt by the Turtles to make pizza and recreate the scepter in the past. It’s a pretty weak movie when one of the high points is a digression for a character to randomly go fly a kite with a child.

Paige Turco (April O’Neil), Stuart Wilson (Walker, the leader of the pirates), and Elias Koteas (who plays both Casey Jones and Whit) all deserve credit for delivering their lines without ever appearing to let on that they know how preposterous they are. The voice actors behind the Turtles make them expressive enough to seem real as well.

Stuart Gillard’s direction of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time is just terrible, though. Filled with numerous points where the fights are obvious in the way they fail to convey reality and takes that seem to obviously be first takes – like a shot where the Turtles try to give one another a high five, with two of them waiting (connected) for the other two and them failing to connect, so the hands end up out of frame. Even on Blu-Ray, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III: Turtles In Time appears without bonus features. For a change, that is all right; they wouldn’t help this movie at all.

For other films based upon independent comic books series’, be sure to check out my reviews of:
Men In Black
Hancock
Cowboys & Aliens

1.5/10

Check out how this film stacks up against others I have reviewed by visiting my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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