Derivative Post-Vietnam Themed Work Insures A Slow Weekend At The Box Office: Priest

The Good: General story points, Actors do what they can with limited roles, General special effects.
The Bad: 3-D effects add little, Plot is derivative, No real character development, Pacing issues.
The Basics: When it is not incredibly boring, Priest is pretty typical post-apocalyptic vampire filmmaking.


One thing I love about Summer Blockbuster Season is that it certainly encourages me to go out to the theater! I've been a little lax in this regard of late, though I did get to Thor (reviewed here!) its opening weekend. I also managed to get into an early screening of Priest in 3-D and now I find myself wishing I had more to write about in regard to it. Priest is short, but is paced excruciatingly slowly, so it feels much longer than it actually is. It is more average than bad and it is clearly sanitized to get its PG-13 rating. Priest is the highlight of mediocrity and one suspects that it will not break Thor's hold on the top spot and will not likely beat Bridesmaids for the opening weekend, either.

It is worth mentioning that I went into Priest blind. I had seen a single preview several months ago and I'd not seen anything since. I have not read the graphic novel upon which the film is based, but one suspects that it followed the book fairly closely. I make this assumption because having read a number of graphic novels of late, I have become attuned to some of the conceits of the genre. I felt, watching Priest I could see the different chapters of the book (different issues of the initial comic book release), as the protagonist went from his city, encountered a Hive Guardian and ultimately faced off with the Big Bad. Priest follows a very predictable formula, but whether that is because of the source material or in spite of it, I am not an authority to write about.

From the dawn of time, there has been a war between the humans and the vampires. As the vampires looked like they might succeed in wiping mankind out, the Church developed the tools needed to thwart the vampires. There rose a class of warriors trained in the fighting style of the vampires and the priests turned the tide of the last great vampire war. At the end of that conflict, the humans took to fortress cities run by the Church which offer the appearance of absolute protection and the vampires were segregated to subterranean reservations where they were no longer a threat to men. And the priests became disenfranchised citizens looking for work in the cities, qualified only for the lowest, entry-level jobs.

But the peace between the vampires and the Church is broken when Lucy Pace is abducted by a particularly cunning vampire warrior. Lucy is the girlfriend of Hicks, a sheriff from the wastelands around Sector 10. Hicks journeys to Cathedral City to enlist the aid of Priest, who tries to get permission to leave Cathedral City to save his brother's family. The Church, in denial of the continuing vampire problem, refuses to grant him leave, so the Priest goes anyway. In defiance of the Church, on the outskirts of human civilization, Priest and Hicks search for Lucy while they are hunted by other priests sent to stop them. But their enemy, Black Hat, is more cunning and more powerful than any could have guessed and the bad situation grows worse in a hurry.

Priest reminded me most of the recent film Daybreakers and the work has a gloomy, oppressive feel to it that never lets up. When the vampires are not the immediate threat, humanity itself acts as an adversary, making one wonder what Priest is actually fighting for. Those who like nihilistic, post-apocalyptic scenarios will have something to cheer in Priest, but for those hoping for something deeper, this popcorn film is remarkably unsatisfying.

So, what actually works? First, there is a whole, powerful, analogy in Priest to veterans, with strong allusions to post-Vietnam handling of U.S. military personnel. The priests are disenfranchised in the same way as the soldiers who served their country and as the Iraq and Afghanistan wars come to a close, Priest illustrates some good, cautionary messages about how to treat those who have done so much for us. Unfortunately, while it raises the points, it offers no real solutions either for our society or our disenfranchised soldiers. Instead, Priest only paints a picture that the soldier's work is never done and that the war never ends. Not exactly stirring optimism.

Second, the acting is all right. I write "all right" because the principles are not given very much to work with. Paul Bettany and Karl Urban are great in the minimalist roles of Priest and Black Hat, respectively. Both roles are not exactly ripe with character growth, but for the most part, they make their characters viable in a way that reminds one of great Western actors, like Clint Eastwood or James Coburn. Urban, especially, deserves a lot of credit for his performance in that it wasn't until the final credits rolled that I had any idea who the actor was. Cam Gigadent, who plays Hicks is fine and Lily Collins makes for a decent damsel in distress as Lucy.

Finally, the effects are all right. The vampire design is pretty cool and it is explained in the film. But what doesn't work are the 3-D effects. Those hoping for a visual marvel like Tron: Legacy (reviewed here!) will be utterly disappointing. In some places, the 3-D effect is simply a digital setting model with ash falling in the foreground as the effect. At least, I assume it was supposed to be ash; the screen was very dark in many points, making the image utterly unclear.

Thematically, Priest is a jumble as well. If it is intended to be satirical, it flops as the characters clearly exist in a world of fate. Sure, the Church may be corrupt or blind, but the warriors are the pure of faith and they use instruments with such obvious Christian iconography as to feel like a science fiction-horror attempt from the Religious Right. Slogans like "To go against the Church is to go against God" are repeated frequently as an obvious means of controlling the city-based populations, but Priest is just balanced enough to illustrate that the Church cares about humanity's fate.

This makes Black Hat an entirely ridiculous villain in some ways. As the first of his kind, he could be an avatar of change, but he sinks to a pretty ridiculous archetype. Moreover, Priest sets up a sequel with so little going for it that one has to wonder why the writers and director Scott Stewart bothered. In the end, Priest is more boring than thrilling and more gross than either scary or gory. Sanitized to get its PG-13, most of the most horrific moments are merely implied and when the film fails to be ballsy - in addition to having monolithic characters - it flops.

For other films with vampires, please check out my reviews of:
Let The Right One In
The Twilight Saga: Eclipse
Blade: Trinity

4.5/10

For other film reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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‘Tis The Season For Apocalyptic Violence: Legion Is More Mundane Than Thrilling!

The Good: Appropriately adrenaline-filled, Moments of story originality
The Bad: Exceptionally predictable, Loses all sense of creativity to violence and gore, Long boring periods
The Basics: A disappointingly obvious special effects-driven horror-action film, Legion gives viewers nothing truly original or inspired.


For those who do not follow my reviews, I go to see a lot of movies, especially since I discovered that the area I live in is a test market for films and other products. There is no movie I have known about the existence of, but not known anything about, for longer than Legion. Last summer, a massive eight-foot tall by ten foot wide cardboard standee display with an angel with an automatic firearm arrived at the local theater and it has stood there ever since. All it said was Legion Coming Soon. Over six months later, Legion arrived in the theaters and while I want to say it was worth the wait, the truth is, it was not. Congrats to the hype machine at Screen Gems for building the enthusiasm so effectively.

Unfortunately, the hype machine for Legion helps to undo itself in two fundamental ways. First, preview trailers for Legion accurately characterize it as a horror film and like many horror films these days, it is gory, violent and action-packed in ways that those looking for something genuinely entertaining are more likely to come away from simply disturbed. Second, Legion was preceded by a graphic novel (click here for that review!) and that was more about setting the stage than actually telling a story. The characters teased in that book are not even featured in the movie and as a result, those who prepare for the movie by reading the “cannon” tie-in are likely to feel like they did their homework for a test that was not given. Viewers will not miss anything by not having read the comic book predecessors (I’m bet, at the time, the comics would appear on the DVD as a “motion comic” bonus feature, but I was wrong). Unfortunately for those looking for something exciting and new, Legion offers little that is surprising or truly audacious and instead becomes a very typical horror-action flick.

As Christmas approaches at the Paradise Falls Diner in New Mexico, the diner sees a surprising influx of people. A car breaks down, customers come in and everything seems normal for the one-armed cook and pregnant waitress, save that there are actually customers for the day. Then, in hobbles an old lady, who comments on Charlie’s impending baby. When Howard tries to stand up for Charlie, he is assaulted and the old lady climbs up the wall until Bob shoots her with a shotgun he has handy. Attempting to get the wounded Howard to the nearest hospital, the Andersons and chefs encounter a cloud of flies and are forced to turn back for the diner. Freaked out and cut off from the world, those stranded at the diner are perplexed.

Things get worse when Michael shows up, armed to the teeth. Michael is happy to tell the group exactly what is going on. The diner is besieged by possessed humans who want to kill everyone and bring about the apocalypse. Michael, believing Charlie’s child is the next incarnation of Christ, swears to defend her and the child and save humanity, despite this going against the will of god. When it looks like Michael might succeed, god sends the angel Gabriel to finish the task of bringing about the end of humanity.

Like Constantine several years ago, Legion fits into a very tight niche of theologically-based action-adventure films. Unlike that film, which was almost a super hero film that was vaguely biblically derived, Legion is a straight-out horror film created by Peter Schink and Scott Stewart (who directed the film). And while the basic concept of a battle between angels and humanity may sound fresh and original, unfortunately Schink and Stewart keep it stiflingly within the conventions of the horror film conceits. In many ways, Legion is a haunted house film, just with a marginally more original concept and a protector character who might actually save the lives of those trapped there. The attempt to get to the hospital is essentially the slamming door which causes those at the diner to realize they are trapped at the “haunted house.”

The appearance of Michael and his arsenal is pretty cool, but soon the diner is surrounded and the resulting actions are more predictable than shocking. Ironically, part of this comes from the quality of the performance by Kate Walsh. Walsh plays Sandra, Howard’s wife, and she plays her as lost and twitchy after Howard is assaulted, which makes her character’s “surprise” actions less than surprising. The other generally decent performance comes from Dennis Quaid as the atheist, Bob (though Charles S. Dutton is quite convincing as a one-armed cook). Quaid seems beautifully disillusioned and sarcastic and he delivers his character’s quips well with a gruffness that is perfectly appropriate.

But beyond that, Legion is devoid of character development and anything close to decent acting. Paul Bettany is supposed to be aloof as the fallen angel Michael, but he comes across as stiff, just as Kevin Durand’s Gabriel is just bland. Both deliver so many of their lines as if they are just that, lines they are reading off a script. Bettany takes the brunt of the criticism for playing a lousy character as he is forced to deliver long monologues of exposition simply to explain what the swarms of mutants on the doorstep actually are.

And, for whatever momentary sense of philosophy or highbrow concept that might exist, Legion continues to degenerate into a series of predictable, violent encounters that have sufficiently realistic special effects. There are pretty cool mutants, though they are certainly enough to make one ask why angels make humans turn into demonically demented creatures when they possess them, and the effects department earns their pay both on those and the realism of Gabriel during the fight sequences. But the fights are so obviously choreographed and feel choreographed that viewers get the feeling they are watching something they have seen before . . . and a second –rate version of that prior work as well.

With movie tickets being expensive, one of the obvious questions is “should I go to the theater to see this?” For Legion, I would have thought the answer was a resounding “yes,” but it was surprisingly small in scope. The apocalypse is centered around a single location for the vast majority of the film (hence the comparison to haunted house films) and the effects are not so good that one is likely to feel cheated waiting to see it on DVD. If you feel like you need to see mindless horror action, you can now see Legion on DVD; there is nothing earth-shattering about this film.

For other science fiction or horror films, please check out my reviews of:
Zombieland
Shutter Island
Robert A. Heinlein’s The Puppet Masters

3/10

For other film reviews, please visit my index page!

© 2010 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.




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