Another Lousy Sequel: The Smurfs 2

The Good: Generally good moral, Most of the voice performances are good.
The Bad: Simplistic plot, character arcs, and dialogue, Underwhelming special effects.
The Basics: The Smurfs return with a less-than-spectacular sequel with The Smurfs 2.


Sequels and children’s movies have a hard time getting good reviews from me. I am not against films for young people – often enough they have good messages and the best have a decent charm factor to them – but frequently they are made figuring that their target demographic is less-discriminating and an inferior product is churned out by the studios. Sequels, more often than not, are not the result of having more of a story to tell, but rather the financial success of the first film feeding into the studio’s desire to see similar returns on investment. The Smurfs 2 is definitely that type of sequel.

The Smurfs 2 is a live-action sequel that follows up on the events of The Smurfs (reviewed here!). The movie is intended for a younger audience and while one might assume that Neil Patrick Harris was under contract to do The Smurfs 2, how Brendan Gleeson became associated with the project is a mystery to me. The Smurfs 2 trades on fairly advanced computer generated graphics to blend the live-action elements with the artificial Smurfs and utilizes the voice talents of some very talented individuals (and Katy Perry) to embody the Smurfs and their new, evil, counterparts, The Naughties.

After a retcon with the story of how Smurfette was created, after originally being a creation and tool of Gargamel, Smurfette has a nightmare of reverting. Papa Smurf reassures Smurfette. Meanwhile, in the real world, Gargamel has become a huge celebrity doing magic, using the essence of Smurf stolen from Smurfs in the prior film. At their birthday party for Blue, Patrick’s step-father turns up, much to his annoyance. In Paris, Gargamel reveals his plan: he wants to use the Eifel Tower to open a portal to Smurf Village, where he plans to abduct Smurfette, learn how Papa Smurf turned her blue, then turn his Naughties into Smurfs, extract their essences and rule the world. When he is unable to fit through the portal he opened, Gargamel sends Vexy and Hackus to the Smurf realm to get her. Thinking that the other Smurfs have forgotten her birthday (when, in fact, they are planning an elaborate surprise party for her), Smurfette is susceptible to Vexy’s suggestion (and friendship) and returns to Earth with her.

While Smurfette learns about the Naughties and develops a friendship with the energetic Vexy, Gargamel makes plans to transform his collection of Naughties into Smurfs so he will have an unending supply of Smurf essence. Papa Smurf selects some of the best Smurfs to join him on a trip to Earth to recover Smurfette, but magic events conspire to put him on Earth with the likes of Grouchy and Clumsy instead. When Patrick and Grace encounter Papa Smurf and his crew, they become determined to stop Gargamel, an effort that is hampered by Victor getting himself and Blue into trouble at the same time!

The Smurfs 2 is an utterly simplistic film; Smurfette’s story arc is obvious from the beginning when she believes that she has been forgotten by her entire village and they are planning a big celebration for her. She falls in with the “wrong crowd” in the form of Vexy and Hackus and her willingness to explore her “Dark Side” is curbed long before she goes into truly rebellious territory. The conflict is simplistic, as is its resolution. In fact, the only lingering thematic quality for The Smurfs 2 is that the children’s movie explores the possibility of relapse. Smurfette was created to be an evil spy for Gargamel before the love of the Smurfs changed her; in The Smurfs 2 she is fearful that she will fall back into her old behaviors.

Such complexity is entirely absent from the human characters in The Smurfs 2. Patrick has a pretty reasonable beef with Victor from his backstory, but when Victor pops up and basically forces his way into Grace and Blue’s life – and back into Patrick’s, the movie seems to endorse the action. Victor shows no respect for the carefully-balanced (if annoying) life that Patrick and Grace have (as evidenced by their respecting one of their friends’ children’s peanut allergies and Victor sending the kid to the hospital). Victor becomes the hyper-involved grandparent and the message of The Smurfs 2 seems to be that if a grandparent wants to be involved, be happy and shut up about it!

The acting in The Smurfs 2 is mediocre, at best. Brendan Gleeson appears without any of his innate charm or charisma and even Neil Patrick Harris seems remarkably flat in the role of Patrick. Of the voice talents, only Christina Ricci stands out as Vexy; the rest emote adequately at best. Ricci sounds nothing like herself as Vexy and she gives a good performance with her altered voice.

Ultimately, The Smurfs 2 is simplistic and not even worth recommending to children.

For other works with Anton Yelchin, please visit my reviews of:
Only Lovers Left Alive
Star Trek Into Darkness
Like Crazy
Terminator Salvation
Star Trek
Charlie Bartlett
15 Minutes

2/10

For other movie reviews, please check out my Film Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Summer Lackluster Is Defined By Scooby-Doo.

The Good: Linda Cardellini!
The Bad: Script, Plot, Lame attempts at humor, Ridiculous acting and poor characters
The Basics: In a just terrible adaptation of the animated series, Scooby-Doo and company journey to an evil island to reconcile their differences. Predictable, not funny and bland.


Some people don't realize how good they have it. That's my theory of Hollywood. If people realized how good they have their lives and careers, NBC would not have canceled Freaks And Geeks and Sarah Michelle Gellar would not resist being a cult t.v. heroine and the idol of millions and rejected further work on Buffy The Vampire Slayer in favor of getting movie roles. However, Gellar was a diva and NBC was piloted by idiots and this is the type of schlock you get: Scooby-Doo.

Scooby-Doo follows the breakup and reunion of the classic crime solving quintet led by Fred. Fred is basically a poser, backed by the brains of Velma and worshipped by the pointless diva Daphne. The group is rounded out by the addle-brained Shaggy and the dog Scooby-Doo. Reunited on an island to solve a mystery of the malevolent force that is taking over young people, the group soon finds themselves falling victim to their old resentments and then learning the greatest lesson of all, which is how each of them contributes to the group to make them the best solvers of mysteries ever.

I still don't get what the point of Daphne is outside looking good. She doesn't really solve the crimes and it becomes evident early on that she is more of a liability than an asset to the group.

That said, the real victim of this movie, outside the audience - which is subjected to an hour of lame humor derived from dogs and urination and possible pot smoking -, is Linda Cardellini. Cardellini is a young actress who has amazing potential that she clearly illustrated as the star of Freaks And Geeks. Here, she is stuck in the role of Velma, which she plays well, but we have to ask how did her movie options get so bad so quickly? This is a young woman who has acting talent, looks good and can handle presenting difficult dialog and genuine human emotions. How does someone like that end up as an appendage to a computer generated dog?

Scooby-Doo, the actual dog, illustrates yet another example of how CGI creators need a good dose of reality. The dog looks like he is computer generated, sticking out in every frame just as sure as he was a cartoon in a live-action movie. He is often lit completely wrong (i.e. in a room lit from above, his underbelly has the same shades as the top of his head) and moves in a completely inorganic way. Sure, he's a talking dog (if you can understand what he's saying), but the point of using computer generated effects is to put into reality those things which are not, while making them seem like they are. Scooby-Doo fails to convince us he is a talking dog surrounded by people who accept that and not a poorly-written computer program designed to deceive us.

Outside Cardellini, the acting is terrible. Poor Rowan Atkinson, whose brief cameo in Scooby-Doo made me seriously depressed. Matthew Lillard, who plays Shaggy, was well cast for his body-type and sound of his voice, but beyond that he has no screen charisma. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays a diva no different from how she plays Buffy the vampire slayer. That is to say that she seemed here like Buffy gone bratty, like the few outbursts Gellar portrayed Buffy having at the beginning of the second season, and as a result Daphne seems like more of a withered appendage to the group.

The real loser is Freddy Prinze Jr. He plays Fred as a preening, self-assured egoist who seems confident he could have any woman he wants. That's Fred's character, fine. It's also how Prinze Jr. appeared on the talk shows and such while promoting this movie. In the end, he comes off as just another pretty face trying to make good at acting. He has less charisma than the CGI dog.

There are no deeper messages in this movie, no redeeming morals to make this anything but a waste of time. In fact, if anything, maybe it has just the opposite. As I write this, it occurs to me that maybe Daphne's sole purpose is to be the damsel in distress for Fred. Who needs a movie like that, where the hero is a jerk who puts everyone on his team down and needs one of them in a position of inferiority in order to enhance his standing? Not me. And not you, either.

For other works with Rowan Atkinson, please be sure to check out my reviews of:
Love, Actually
The Lion King
Blackadder

1/10

For other movie reviews, please be sure to visit my Movie Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2012, 2004 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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"Blah, Blah, Blah Blah Blah Blah," The Smurfs Is Just Horrendous.

The Good: Hank Azaria and Neil Patrick Harris show up for it . . .
The Bad: Not funny, Not charming, Dull plot, No character development, Terrible special effects, Virtually everything.
The Basics: Entirely underwhelming, The Smurfs is not worth seeing for adults or children, giving it little to no redeeming value during a bloated Summer Blockbuster Season.


One of the nice things about being a reviewer is getting into preview screenings. Unfortunately, many of them are public screenings intended to generate word of mouth and it was one such screening I found myself at yesterday morning for The Smurfs. And it's not like my wife didn't warn me the place would be overrun with screaming children (which it was), but as she correctly guessed, I just can't get enough of panning the works of Katy Perry. The truth is, my disdain for the works of Katy Perry would have been reason for me to brave seeing The Smurfs eventually, but it was my appreciation of the works of Neil Patrick Harris that made me want to see the movie early and go when the place was packed with kids.

Sadly, Neil Patrick Harris and Hank Azaria appearing in the movie is not enough to override the overwhelming sense of suck that this movie possesses.

The Smurfs suffers not from being what it is - which is family-friendly fare - but from being the most mundane, senseless version of what it is supposed to be. There is no message, no strong moral, not even a sense of nostalgia for those of us who grew up on the Smurfs. Yes, despite going into the movie suspecting it would disappoint, I had a secret hope that this would remind me of something simple that I did love as a child, but instead, The Smurfs completely underwhelmed me and left me, if possible, more cynical than ever. And Katy Perry was not the cause of it, which might be the first time I can use the phrases "more cynical" and "not Katy Perry's fault" together. Instead, The Smurfs is a prolonged slapstick chase sequence connected by humor that didn't even seem to grab the under ten crowd that dominated the screening I was at.

The Smurfs are living in peace in their village when the evil sorcerer Gargamel invades to try to capture Smurfs for his nefarious purposes. Fleeing Gargamel, six of the Smurfs - including Papa, Smurfette and Brainy - fall through a portal into New York's Central Park. Their feelings of safety and familiarity are upset when they see the giant buildings and are chased by Gargamel and his cat, Azrael. As the Smurfs try to find safety, they end up in the possession of Patrick Winslow, who is fairly cynical and unappreciative of the magical beings.

Encouraged by his wife Grace, Patrick tries to keep the Smurfs safe and help them return to their village. But soon, the Smurfs and Patrick must work together to stop Gargamel when Papa Smurf is captured by the wizard.

I'm going to start my critique with the most mundane of criticisms of The Smurfs because someone has to say it. The Smurfs in The Smurfs are not three apples high. Right off the bat, there is a huge perspective problem with The Smurfs that will upset purists and make the project seem like it was put together by people who couldn't tell the difference between an apple and a crab apple. Besides that, the best special effect in The Smurfs truly is the make-up that transforms Hank Azaria into Gargamel. Between the make-up, his voice and the goofy sense of movement Azaria has to make him embody Gargamel, Azaria is utterly unrecognizable, even to fans of his work.

The Smurfs suffers because the plot is almost nonexistent and the character development is entirely absent from the piece. The plot is a pretty basic chase movie with Gargamel being a pretty absolute evil character whose motivations are not explored and instead is the Villain For The Sake Of A Villain. The Smurfs are, conversely, good, even Grouchy who lives up to his name by being the contrarian of the lot. The chase from Gargamel is broken up by quieter bits that have Grace and Patrick learn more about the Smurfs as they are subjected to pretty banal humor, usually involving the fact that the Smurfs are so small interacting with the human-sized world and accessories therein.

The Smurfs are characterized by their names. Papa is an old leader, Chef cooks, Clumsy falls down, Smurfette is a girl, Brainy spouts facts and ideas constantly, you get the picture. Beyond their names and the lone trait they embody, the Smurfs are virtually identical. Physically, they look the same with their white hats and white pants, save Smurfette who wears a dress, Papa who wears red, Brainy who wears glasses, and Gutsy, who wears a kilt. The lesson of The Smurfs is, ostensibly, that people need to work together to get things done. So, Brainy is not nearly as useful without Hefty or Gutsy because it is one thing to be smart, but it is another to be able to put a plan into action with strength or stones. We get it. Unfortunately, the children in the audience did not seem to care much about the social message because they were overwhelmed by the CG Smurfs that look utterly fake in the real environments. Moreover, the moral of the Smurf lifestyle is comparatively underemphasized in the film in favor of chase sequences and ridiculously bad puns that are supposed to pass for humor.

As for the acting, Hank Azaria carries his scenes, but the others, including a surprisingly flat Neil Patrick Harris, do not. Harris and Jayma Mays do an excellent job of keeping their eyelines proper for the virtual characters, but Harris has a lack of spark uncharacteristic to his performances. So, while he makes humorous gripes that nitpickers of the Smurfs will appreciate, he does it without any particular zest or irony, as if he doesn't want to upset his mealticket by buying into his lines. Jayma Mays, conversely, plays yet another dew-eyed optimist who gives us nothing we haven't seen from her before. The voice actors all do fine as their characters, including Katy Perry, though none of them are given real voice challenges that warrant their celebrity. Indeed, some of the celebrity is distracting. Each time Grouchy opened his mouth, I was aware I was listening to George Lopez.

Ultimately, The Smurfs is mundane and it is not entertaining to add buoyancy to that averageness, which sinks it further. I suppose not every property from the 1980s is marketable today with CG effects and a tongue-in-cheek attitude to it. Still, I'd pay to see a good Masters Of The Universe flick. I would not pay to see this and cannot recommend anyone else pay for it or even waste their time on it when seeing it is free.

For other works featuring George Lopez, be sure to visit my reviews of:
Marmaduke
Valentine's Day
The Spy Next Door
Swing Vote

1.5/10

For other movie reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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