I Finally Get Around To The Delightful 2016 A Girl's Best Friend Tangled Ornament!

The Good: Excellent sculpt, Good balance, Good detailing
The Bad: Comparatively expensive for its size, No function
The Basics: The 2016 "A Girl's Best Friend" from Tangled ornament is a fun Disney ornament, even if it does not quite fit the scale of other Disney ornaments.


2016 was a huge year for me with Hallmark ornament reviews. In fact, it was such a big year that I ended up with a number of reviews that took a while to get around to actually processing. Finally, though, I have ended up at the end of my reviews of Hallmark ornaments from the 2016 season. The last ornament I had to review was the 2016 A Girl's Best Friend Tangled ornament and it is definitely going out on a high note.

For those unfamiliar with Tangled (reviewed here!), it is the musical story of Rapunzel and on her journey out into the larger world, Maximus is one of the guard's horses that is hunting Flynn Rider. Maximus, more diligent and competent than the human guards, is vigilant but ultimately comes to the aid of Rapunzel.

It is Rapunzel, hugging Maximus, that is the subject of the 2016 A Girl's Best Friend Tangled ornament.

Basics

The "A Girl's Best Friend" ornament recreates Rapunzel, as she appeared in Tangled with her long hair cascading all around her as and into a coil under her feet as she hugs a seated Maximus, who is nuzzling her back. The ornament, released in 2016, is a well-executed and accurate sculpt of Maximus with his saddle and Rapunzel in her iconic purple dress, with the character and hair looking instantly recognizable. Both characters look recognizable and accurate for the sculpt, which allowed Hallmark to not make it incredibly detailed. Despite that, Hallmark paid attention to such details as the rivets on Maximus's saddle and the buckle on his saddle bag.

Hallmark made a significant effort on A Girl's Best Friend as Rapunzel's hair is sculpted with texture to make it look more realistic - despite its supernatural length. Measuring two and a half inches tall and wide and one and one-quarter inches deep, the "A Girl's Best Friend" ornament is one of the smaller-scale Disney character ornaments from 2016 and it was comparatively expensive at its initial release price of $17.95.

The Hallmark "A Girl's Best Friend" ornament is made of a durable plastic and has Rapunzel hugging the seated horse. A Girl's Best Friend escapes the usual critique about the lack of realism to the skin tones, because Maximus and Rapunzel are both animated characters. Rapunzel's eyes are bright green and wonderfully detailed; she looks truly joyful as she smiles while looking away from Maximus. The paint job on things like the stirrups are incredibly well-executed. Despite the smaller scale, the A Girl's Best Friend was immaculately painted!

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "A Girl's Best Friend" could have a sound or light effect, but it does not. Instead, this is a less-expensive option that is just the two characters in a smaller scale.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "A Girl's Best Friend" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Disney movie Christmas Tree, the "A Girl's Best Friend" ornament is a decent Tangled option that can enhance the tree of those who love Disney. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top center of Maximus's arched back. The placement of the hook loop is fairly obvious and necessary for the ornament. A Girl's Best Friend hangs perpendicular to the ground when properly hung from that hook point and while the ornament has a very minor bias in favor of Rapunzel, the ornament has generally good balance. For the scale, the balance is actually quite good.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for that review!). Within a few years, every major franchise from Star Wars to A Nightmare Before Christmas to Indiana Jones started making Hallmark ornaments. "A Girl's Best Friend" is one of only a few Tangled ornaments on the market and at least the sixth to feature Rapunzel. This ornament is long sold out at every Hallmark, but it has not really appreciated in the secondary market, which suggests that the initial release price was exactly right - or a little high - for the ornament.

Overview

Fans of Tangled, Disney, Rapunzel, horses, Mandy Moore, and Hallmark ornaments are likely to be thrilled with the “A Girl's Best Friend” ornament, despite its size; the quality of the sculpt and coloring more than make up for its initial price!

For other Tangled Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2015 Rapunzel And Pascal ornament
2014 Rapunzel's Long Locks ornament
2013 Fierce With A Frying Pan ornament
2012 It's All About The Hair ornament
2011 Rapunzel ornament

8.5/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit my Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2017 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Whimsical And Fun, The 2015 Tangled Rapunzel And Pascal Ornament Is Wonderful!

The Good: Excellent sculpt, Good balance, Neat feature
The Bad: Hair coloring, No function
The Basics: The 2015 "Rapunzel And Pascal" from Tangled ornament is a worthwhile addition to the Disney Hallmark ornament line!


Since the movie made its debut,Tangled has been one of the more reliable cash cows for Disney and its licensees. Hallmark has made producing new Tangled ornaments an annual event and it is somewhat surprising that they have limited their focus so tightly on the film's protagonist. That said, this year's Rapunzel And Pascal ornament is one of the best that Hallmark has produced!

For those unfamiliar with Tangled (reviewed here!), it is the musical story of Rapunzel. Kept in a tower by the woman who abducted her as a baby, she has exceptionally long hair that is the source of the magic that keeps her "mother" young. Rapunzel And Pascal features Rapunzel and her chameleon companion, Pascal. The ornament seems to depict one of the more playful moments after she escapes her tower.

Basics

The "Rapunzel And Pascal" ornament recreates Rapunzel, as she appeared in Tangled with her long hair cascading all around her as and into a coil under her feet. The ornament, released in 2015, is a very cool and accurate sculpt of Rapunzel in her iconic pink and purple dress, with the character and hair looking instantly recognizable. Pascal is hair surfing in one of the coils of hair that Rapunzel has cascading around behind her.

Hallmark clearly made quite an effort on Rapunzel And Pascal as she has great detailing on the eyes and with the lacing up the front of her bodice. This version of Rapunzel, unlike some of the prior years, does not have toenails nor fingernails molded into her feet or hands. Measuring three and a half inches tall, two and a half inches wide and two and one-quarter inches deep, the "Rapunzel And Pascal" ornament is one of the medium-sized Disney character ornaments this year and it is fairly inexpensive at only $14.95.

The Hallmark "Rapunzel And Pascal" ornament is made of a durable plastic and has Rapunzel smiling whimsically as she whips her hair like a lasso. The ornament is fairly well detailed in the sculpted details and the colored details are generally good. Perhaps the neatest sculpted detail is Rapunzel's bangs, which lift upward dynamically from her forehead, enhancing the appearance of her dancing around.

Rapunzel And Pascal escapes the usual critique about the lack of realism to the skin tones, because she is an animated character. The ornament's eyes are bright green and wonderfully detailed. The hair is unfortunately monotonal with minimal highlights to give it depth and shading appropriate even to the animated character. Pascal is virtually monotonal, but to Hallmark's credit, he is well-painted so none of his green skin is painted onto Rapunzel's hair. The skirt has decent molded details, but not coloring accents.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Rapunzel And Pascal" could have a sound or light effect, but it does not. Instead, this is a less-expensive option that is just the character.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Rapunzel And Pascal" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Disney movie Christmas Tree, the "Rapunzel And Pascal" ornament is a decent Tangled option that can enhance the tree of those who love Disney. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top center, just to the left of the part in her hair, of Rapunzel’s head. This is fairly obvious and necessary for the ornament. Rapunzel And Pascal hangs perpendicular to the ground when properly hung from that hook point and she has generally good balance. Because the hair coil upon which Rapunzel is standing has a flat bottom and acts like a base, the balance had to be just right and Hallmark got it just right!

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for that review!). Within a few years, every major franchise from Star Wars to A Nightmare Before Christmas to Indiana Jones started making Hallmark ornaments. "Rapunzel And Pascal" is one of only a few Tangled ornaments on the market and at least the fifth of Rapunzel. This ornament has sold out at about half of the Hallmark stores nearby and given the popularity of Tangled and Disney ornaments, there is a better than average chance that this will be one of the ones that manages to appreciate in value!

Overview

Fans of Tangled, Disney, Rapunzel, Mandy Moore, and Hallmark ornaments are likely to be pleased with the “Rapunzel And Pascal” ornament, despite the minor lack of highlights on the coloring details!

For other Tangled Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2014 Rapunzel's Long Locks ornament
2013 Fierce With A Frying Pan ornament
2012 It's All About The Hair ornament
2011 Rapunzel ornament

8.5/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit my Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2015 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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A Clever Gimmick Pretty Much Sells The 2014 Rapunzel’s Long Locks Tangled Ornament!

The Good: Excellent sculpt, Good coloring, Good balance, Neat feature
The Bad: Somewhat expensive for what it is, Surface detailing coloring
The Basics: The 2014 "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" from Tangled ornament is very cool, but not at all flawless.


While Frozen has proven to be a pretty incredible source of revenue for Disney, Tangled has been a reliable cash cow for the company. Disney had a predictable hit on its hand with Tangled and the Rapunzel story has led to a lot of merchandise and one of the companies that has done right by the film and its fans (not to mention licensee Disney) is Hallmark. Hallmark has been making ornaments featuring characters from Tangled since the film was released and they tend to be of a decent quality. Unfortunately, this year’s ornament, Rapunzel’s Long Locks, is not the best Tangled ornament Hallmark has produced. Fortunately, it is not the worst Disney ornament, either, so Hallmark still has a pretty good record with their ornaments from the film!

For those unfamiliar with Tangled (reviewed here!), it is the musical story of Rapunzel. Kept in a tower by the woman who abducted her as a baby, she has exceptionally long hair that is the source of the magic that keeps her "mother" young. Rapunzel’s Long Locks features Rapunzel brushing her own hair as the subject of the 2014 Tangled ornament.

Basics

The "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" ornament recreates Rapunzel, as she appeared in Tangled with her long hair cascading all around her as she sits on a stool. The ornament, released in 2014, is a very cool and accurate sculpt of Rapunzel in her pink and purple dress, with the character and hair looking instantly recognizable.

Hallmark clearly made quite an effort on Rapunzel’s Long Locks as she has great detailing on the eyes and with the lacing up the front of her bodice; she even has a toenail molded on her visible big toe on her bare feet! Measuring three inches tall, two and a half inches wide and two inches deep, the "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" ornament is one of the smaller Disney character ornaments this year, though it makes sense given that Rapunzel is seated on a stool for the ornament. This ornament seems initially inexpensive at only $14.95.

The Hallmark "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" ornament is made of a durable plastic and has Rapunzel looking content as she brushes her hair. The ornament is incredibly detailed in the sculpted details and the colored details are generally good. Rapunzel’s Long Locks escapes the usual critique about the lack of realism to the skin tones, because she is an animated character. The ornament's eyes are bright green and wonderfully detailed. The hair is beautifully colored with a pearlescent, translucent quality that becomes a special feature for the ornament. The paint job loses a little bit of credit when it comes to the detailing on the dress. The skirt has decent molded details, but not coloring accents.

This version of Rapunzel does not have her chameleon companion.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" could have a sound effect, but it does not. Instead, this is a less-expensive option that is just the character. However, this ornament does have a pretty original, very cool feature. Rapunzel’s Long Locks has a hole in the base of the ornament with a rubber gasket. The ornament is designed to slip over a light bulb on a light strand and when it is there, it causes the ornament’s hair to glow. The skin and costume for Rapunzel are opaque enough, but the hair has a luminescent quality that shines when the ornament is placed over a bulb. In order for this feature to work, Hallmark had to make the ornament out of a very light plastic. As a result, the Rapunzel’s Long Locks ornament seems a little pricier than it ought to. Sure, it is less expensive than other Disney ornaments, but it also has quite a bit less mass, making it seem like less of a value.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Disney movie Christmas Tree, the "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" ornament is a decent Tangled option that can enhance the tree of those who love Disney. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top center of Rapunzel’s head. This is fairly obvious and necessary for the ornament. Rapunzel’s Long Locks hangs perpendicular to the ground when properly hung from that hook point and she has generally good balance. As well, because the ornament is so very light, when it is put atop a light strand to activate the glowing hair feature, it tends to rest there comfortably and sit straight.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for that review!). Within a few years, every major franchise from Star Wars to A Nightmare Before Christmas to Indiana Jones started making Hallmark ornaments. "Rapunzel’s Long Locks" is one of only a few Tangled ornaments on the market and at least the fourth of Rapunzel. This ornament has not sold out at any of the Hallmark stores I have been to, yet, but it seems to have sold more than some of the other character ornaments. As a result, despite the comparatively high initial price of this ornament, I suspect it will at least maintain its value as opposed to lose or grow in value.

Overview

Fans of Tangled, Disney, Rapunzel, Mandy Moore, and Hallmark ornaments are likely to be pleased with the “Rapunzel’s Long Locks” ornament, though it might seem a little underwhelming for the price until one sees how cool it looks lit up!

For other Disney-themed Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2014 The Little Mermaid 25th Anniversary ornament
2014 "Welcome To Halloween" The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2014 All Eyes On Belle Beauty And The Beast ornament
2014 Olaf Frozen ornament
2013 Under The Sea The Little Mermaid
2013 The Nightmare Before Christmas Jack’s Sleigh O’Scares
2013 Tiana's Party Dress The Princess And The Frog ornament
2013 Beautiful Belle Beauty And The Beast
2013 Fierce With A Frying Pan Tangled ornament
2013 Ariel's Big Dream The Little Mermaid ornament
2013 Merida The Archer Brave ornament
2012 The Circle Of Life The Lion King ornament
2012 Jack Sneaks A Peek The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2012 Monsters, Inc. ornament
2012 Merida Brave ornament
2012 It's All About The Hair Tangled ornament
2011 Rapunzel Tangled ornament
2011 CLU’s Light Cycle from Tron: Legacy ornament
2011 Up ornament
2011 A Snowy Surprise The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2011 Captain Jack Sparrow Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament
2010 Tron: Legacy Light Cycle ornament
2009 Welcome To Christmastown The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament

6/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit my Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2014 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Above All, Fun! The 2013 Fierce With A Frying Pan Tangled Rapunzel Ornament Is A Hit!

The Good: Great sculpt, Generally good coloring, Comparatively inexpensive, Great balance!
The Bad: Coloring details at bottom of dress
The Basics: The 2013 "Fierce With A Frying Pan" from Tangled ornament is easily the best Disney ornament to hit Hallmark Keepsake stores this year, though it is not quite perfect!


As Christmas rapidly approaches, I find myself considering more Disney Hallmark Keepsake ornaments than usual. This might be because the Barbie ornament line has ended and I’m stretching out in a different direction (and that Hallmark might have one or two additional Disney-themed ornaments this year to compensate for the demise of the Barbie line). Regardless, I noticed that I had tackled reviewing two of the less impressive Disney Hallmark ornaments for the year and thought I would buck that trend by jumping right to the best! This year’s “must have” Disney-based Hallmark ornament is the 2013 Tangled Fierce With A Frying Pan ornament!

For those unfamiliar with Tangled (reviewed here!), it is the musical story of Rapunzel. Kept in a tower by the woman who abducted her as a baby, she has exceptionally long hair that is the source of the magic that keeps her "mother" young. Fierce With A Frying Pan features Rapunzel, ready to swing the frying pan at the face of Flynn Ryder (perhaps for a second or third time?) after he invades her tower sanctuary.

Basics

The "Fierce With A Frying Pan" ornament recreates Rapunzel, as she appeared in Tangled with her long hair swirling around her, standing flatfooted in an obvious battle pose with a frying pan raised in both her hands! The ornament, released in 2013, is a very cool and accurate sculpt of Rapunzel at the ready with her frying pan-turned-weapon, in her lavender and purple dress, wit her trademark hair billowing around her.

Hallmark clearly made quite an effort on Fierce With A Frying Pan as Rapunzel has great detailing on the eyes, which are molded and colored to connote a sense of mischief in them, and with the lacing up the front of her bodice. Measuring three and seven-eighths inches tall, three inches wide and two inches deep, the "Fierce With A Frying Pan" ornament is one of the larger Disney character ornaments this year, though it is generally in scale with prior Tangled ornaments. As well, it is surprisingly affordable at only $14.95.

The Hallmark "Fierce With A Frying Pan" ornament is made of a durable plastic and has Rapunzel looking delightfully defensive with her frying pan ready to smack the unseen Ryder Flynn. The ornament is incredibly detailed in the sculpted details and the colored details are generally good. Fierce With A Frying Pan escapes the usual critique about the lack of realism to the skin tones, because she is an animated character. The ornament's eyes are bright green and wonderfully detailed. The hair is beautifully colored and I was especially impressed by how Rapunzel’s big toe is molded onto the ornament! The ornament has well-hidden hair seams from where the hair meets the character’s head.

In fact, the only real detraction I’ve found is in the detailing at the bottom of the character’s dress. While it has the molded on brocade, it is not colored accurately. As a result, there is a weird raised pattern at the bottom of the dress that does not match the rest of the detail quality of the ornament.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Fierce With A Frying Pan" could have a sound effect, but it does not. Instead, this is a less-expensive option that is just the character.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Fierce With A Frying Pan" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Disney movie Christmas Tree, the "Fierce With A Frying Pan" ornament is an incredibly fun and affordable option that can only enhance the tree of those who love Disney. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top back of Rapunzel’s head. This is fairly obvious, though obscured at some angles by the raised frying pan and necessary for the ornament. Fierce With A Frying Pan hangs perfectly perpendicular to the ground when properly hung from that hook point and it is actually amazing how good the balance is on it!

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for that review!). Within a few years, every major franchise from Star Wars to A Nightmare Before Christmas to Indiana Jones started making Hallmark ornaments. "Fierce With A Frying Pan" is one of only a few Tangled ornaments on the market and at least the fourth of Rapunzel. Mandy Moore fans and fans of Disney movies are very happy about the "Fierce With A Frying Pan" ornament, with good cause; it’s a fun ornament. This ornament has not sold out at any of the Hallmark stores I have been to yet, but given the quality level of this Tangled ornament, it is an easy “recommend” for the “must buy” list!

Overview

Fans of Tangled, Disney, Rapunzel, Mandy Moore, and Hallmark ornaments have good reason to be thrilled with the Fierce With A Frying Pan ornament; it is one of the few Disney-themed Hallmark ornaments that truly captures the character of the character it represents!

For other Disney-themed Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2013 Ariel's Big Dream The Little Mermaid ornament
2013 Merida The Archer Brave ornament
2012 The Circle Of Life The Lion King ornament
2012 Jack Sneaks A Peek The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2012 Monsters, Inc. ornament
2012 Merida Brave ornament
2012 It's All About The Hair Tangled ornament
2011 Rapunzel Tangled ornament
2011 CLU’s Light Cycle from Tron: Legacy ornament
2011 Up ornament
2011 A Snowy Surprise The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2011 Captain Jack Sparrow Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament
2010 Tron: Legacy Light Cycle ornament

9/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit my Ornament Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2013 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Insipid Jailbait: Mandy Moore's Overproduced Eponymous Album

The Good: Some moments that suggest Moore might be worthwhile as an artist or performer
The Bad: Most of the lyrics, music and production of Mandy Moore
The Basics: Mandy Moore defies any sense of creativity, originality or use of the voice of Mandy Moore to provide an album that is standard, dull and disappointing.


At the turn of the Millennium the pop-rock radio waves were dominated by boy bands and solo white female acts that I have lumped together in a movement I call the Blonde Revolution. The faces of the Blonde Revolution that endured musically and succeeded the most were Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, and Jessica Simpson. In the mix as well was a young performer named Mandy Moore. Her big song was "Candy" and many pegged her for a one-hit wonder. Mandy Moore continued to endure past the two albums with "Candy" on them and she released a third album entitled Mandy Moore.

This is a problematic album, as far as I am concerned. Fundamentally, the problem starts with the title and goes from there. Whenever an artist releases an album with their name, it seems like the album ought to be about them or what they believe embodies them. In short, a title to a book, movie or c.d. frames the experience. Eponymous c.d.s then ought to be reserved for an artist's masterpiece or an anthology of the artists' choices of their greatest works at the end of their career. Mandy Moore does not do justice to the young woman Mandy Moore as represented in interviews and who I enjoyed quite a bit in the film American Dreamz (reviewed here!).

One of my big complaints in this regard would have to be that Moore herself did not write any of the material on the album. How can you call something yours if you are not responsible for its lyrical content, music or production? I once made a c.d. of my life where I took various music and media clips and wove it together to make a concise album. I even engineered a track of my own. Mandy Moore does not even do that much on Mandy Moore.

Mandy Moore shows up and sings. The regrettable thing about this is I can barely comment on her voice, the album is so overproduced. I would like to assume she has a great voice, but the truth is there is so much going on in regard to music, bass lines and background vocals that it's unclear when Moore is singing how strong her voice is. Moreover, with the musical jumble that backs her up, her words are not always the clearest. I had to listen to her dance track opener "In My Pocket" a number of times before I could decipher that Moore was singing "Nothing but PENNIES in my pocket . . ." Don't even guess what I thought she was singing prior to that!

Over the thirteen tracks on Mandy Moore, I found very little good to say about it. The writing is not terribly strong, which I suppose makes it more appropriate for young Moore to be singing. While there is nothing quite so juvenile as "Candy," songs like "Cry" make me wonder why people I respect respect Moore for her singing career. She sings lines like "In places no one would find / All your feelings so deep inside / [Which I like!] It was then that I realized / That forever was in your eyes / The moment I saw you cry. . . " on "Cry." There was a moment in high school when a friend of mine explained that the reason he hated the song "Life Is A Highway" was that the singer only wanted to live to morning ("Life is a highway / I want to drive it all night long"). In a similar fashion, "Cry" irked me; the narrator could only see sticking with a partner once they cried? That's just sad!

I will say that I generally like "Crush." Moore sings it earnestly and with all of the Blonde Revolution songs that focus on love, it is refreshing to hear one sing that all they've got in one instance is a crush. And despite some of the predictable rhymes in it (strong/wrong), I liked the album's closer, "When I Talk To You" for the lyrics. Moore sings about a relationship falling apart and how when speaking with her partner, she does not feel like they are connecting any longer. It's a bit more mature than some of the other songs that she and other Blonde Revolution performers sing.

But her "hit" off Mandy Moore is just a cheap dance number. "In My Pocket" is over produced with the intent to get the listener to dance. It's a club song and it is nothing more. It appeals to the ideal demographic which seems to be defied by the song "17." "17" is a lyrical jumble of a song that shifts like a multiple personalitied patient between the impulse to love an apparently older or otherwise inappropriate person ("Some people tell me that I should stay away / Maybe I will . . . some other day") and the virtues of remaining young and chaste ("Think I made my mind up / I got time to grow up / Face responsibility / Livin' for the moment / Keepin' my heart open / While I'm only 17. . ."). Ultimately, the song does not make sense.

This bewildering quality extends to the packaging of the c.d. and Moore, which is worth mentioning for an album that bears her name. The front and back cover of the c.d. display a headshot and a respectable image of Mandy Moore. She presents herself on those surfaces as a serious young woman who is not so much selling herself as providing an image for reference for the fans. I can live with that. Inside, however, the photographs are very different. In the liner notes, Moore is grooving out in an outfit that is overtly sexy (black, double slits, plunging neckline) and posing an a suit without a shirt or bra. I can live with those photos as well. The cumulative effect, though, is ridiculously inconsistent. Does Moore want to be young, vibrant, sexual or a serious artist? Not that the two are mutually exclusive, but at a certain age range, female artists are either depending on selling themselves using the quality of their art (Michelle Branch, for example) or trading on sex appeal (Christina Aguilera).

Perhaps Moore will grow into an artist with her own voice, her own discernible style and quality. It is not evident on Mandy Moore, though. The best track is the vocal and earnest "Crush," the lowest point is the problematically obvious "It Only Took A Minute."

For other works that Mandy Moore was involved in, be sure to check out my reviews of:
Tangled
Southland Tales
Saved!
The Princess Diaries

3.5/10

For other music reviews, be sure to check out my Music Review Index Page for an organized listing!

© 2012, 2007 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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A Seamingly-Perfect Ornament Is Ruined By An Obvious Seam! Disney’s Tangled It’s All About The Hair Ornament.

The Good: Great sculpt, Generally good coloring, Comparatively inexpensive, Generally good balance
The Bad: A VERY obvious seam on hair.
The Basics: The 2012 "It’s All About The Hair" from Tangled ornament is robbed of perfection by an unsightly seam in the hair.


I think that those who read my reviews regularly are going to rapidly tire of my refrain for ornaments in 2012. But, given that the 2012 Tangled It’s All About The Hair ornament is the first time I am actually referencing this, that point has not yet been reached: 2012 is likely to be known as the Year Of The Seam for lovers of Hallmark Christmas ornaments. More than any other year, I am finding more and more ornaments that have very obvious seams with separation between parts of the ornament. I’ve never seen this with so many ornaments and it seems unfortunate at best, sloppy at worst. The It’s All About The Hair suffers pretty much exclusively from an unsightly seam on Rapunzel’s hair.

For those unfamiliar with Tangled (reviewed here!), it is the musical story of Rapunzel. Kept in a tower by the woman who abducted her as a baby, she has exceptionally long hair that is the source of the magic that keeps her "mother" young. It’s All About The Hair features Rapunzel and one of the floating candles lit for her for the 2012 Tangled ornament.

Basics

The "It’s All About The Hair" ornament recreates Rapunzel, as she appeared in Tangled with her long hair back and her standing on her toes reaching up for one of the lanterns that is descending. The ornament, released in 2012, is a very cool and accurate sculpt of It’s All About The Hair in her pink and purple dress, though her hair seems short, even in its very braided form.

Hallmark clearly made quite an effort on It’s All About The Hair as she has great detailing on the eyes and with the lacing up the front of her bodice. Measuring four and one quarter inches tall, two inches wide and one and one-quarter inches deep, the "It’s All About The Hair" ornament is one of the larger Disney character ornaments this year, though it is in scale with prior Tangled ornaments. As well, it is surprisingly affordable at only $14.95.

The Hallmark "It’s All About The Hair" ornament is made of a durable plastic and has Rapunzel looking giddy. The ornament is incredibly detailed in the sculpted details and the colored details are generally good. It’s All About The Hair escapes the usual critique about the lack of realism to the skin tones, because she is an animated character. The ornament's eyes are bright green and wonderfully detailed. The hair is beautifully colored and I was especially impressed by the flowers molded and colored into Rapunzel’s hair. The paint job on the floating lantern is very intricate and it looks very much like the designs seen in the film.

As well, the coloring detailing on Rapunzel’s chameleon, who sits on her right shoulder on this ornament, looking upward, is very cool. Outside that obtrusive seam that almost makes it look like they swapped out the hair for a different style of hair, the ornament is amazingly well detailed.

Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "It’s All About The Hair" could have a sound effect, but it does not. Instead, this is a less-expensive option that is just the character.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "It’s All About The Hair" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Disney movie Christmas Tree, the "It’s All About The Hair" ornament is a surprisingly affordable option that can only enhance the tree of those who love Disney. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top center of Rapunzel’s head. This is fairly obvious and necessary for the ornament. It’s All About The Hair hangs perpendicular to the ground when properly hung from that hook point and she has generally good balance.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for that review!). Within a few years, every major franchise from Star Wars to A Nightmare Before Christmas to Indiana Jones started making Hallmark ornaments. "It’s All About The Hair" is one of only a few Tangled ornaments on the market and at least the second of Rapunzel (I’m thinking this is actually #3). Mandy Moore fans and fans of Disney movies are very happy about the "It’s All About The Hair" ornament. They have a lot to be happy with with this one. This ornament has not sold out at any of the Hallmark stores I have been to, yet, but the season is still young!

Overview

Fans of Tangled, Disney, Rapunzel, Mandy Moore, and Hallmark ornaments are likely to be very happy with the “It’s All About The Hair” ornament, though many are likely to be irked by how an ornament, so close to perfection, could be robbed of it by such an obvious fault as the big honkin’ seam this ornament possesses!

For other Disney-themed Hallmark ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2011 Rapunzel Tangled ornament
2011 CLU’s Light Cycle from Tron: Legacy ornament
2011 Up ornament
2011 A Snowy Surprise The Nightmare Before Christmas ornament
2011 Captain Jack Sparrow Pirates Of The Caribbean ornament
2010 Tron: Legacy Light Cycle ornament

8.5/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2012 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Saved! Is Another Perfect Comedy With Real Social Commentary!

The Good: Wonderful social commentary, Surprisingly good acting, Decent character development, DVD bonus features
The Bad: Somewhat predictable.
The Basics: On DVD, Saved! is a funny, blasphemous film with decent bonus features and a lot of humor.


My partner and I have had a great number of conversations about religion because we both had times in our lives where we had faith and we both had events which caused us to lose our faith in organized religions. While we've conversed about our thoughts about various Christian - or, as I am quick to point out, Paulist - hypocrisies in the establishments and hierarchies of the churches and religious movements, we have seldom explored the limited art that is daring enough to criticize them. To date, the only movie we have seen together that deals with religious hypocrisy is Dogma (reviewed here!). So when she asked me to take a break from my Best Picture Project to watch Saved! with her, I was eager and a little surprised that she had beaten me to seeing the film.

As is appropriate, my partner called it absolutely right for me: I loved Saved! and it is one of the first new films in a long time I am pleased to enthusiastically recommend and spread the good news of. Ironically, my partner's history with the film paralleled the film. While my problems with the resurgence of the Religious Right has largely been political, my partner's issues are largely personal. When Saved! first hit DVD, she fell in love with it and used it to try to wake her mother up to the contradictions within the Church. Her mother, blinded by ignorance, failed to believe in the film's reality. The truth is, the strength of Saved! is that it finally exposes the social problems with the Paulist movements and the ignorance of those embedded within it. The movie calls out the hypocrisies in youth movements that preach abstinence, homophobia and religious intolerance. More than that, Saved! makes the social commentary with interesting characters and startlingly good acting for an obscure film.

Mary is a Christian teenager who is a about to enter her Senior year at the prestigious American Eagle private school. She is dating a boy named Dean who comes out to her over the summer. Mary devotes herself to trying to un-gay Dean and she has a vision of Jesus Christ, who tells her to help him. Mary takes this as a sign to have premarital sex with Dean and on the first day of her Senior year, Dean is sent away to Mercy House to undergo re-education to make him a heterosexual. Mary and her friend, Hillary Faye, begin the year trying to spread the word of Christ, especially to the delinquent Jewish student, Cassandra. Hillary Faye's handicapped brother, Roland, becomes intrigued by Cassandra's freespirited ways and becomes her friend.

But when Pastor Skip's son, Patrick, comes to American Eagle, Mary is instantly smitten and shocked when Patrick appears to prefer her to Hillary Faye. Mary puts him off when she realizes that she is pregnant with Dean's child and this causes her to question everything she has known. Cassandra and Roland see Mary leaving a Planned Parenthood clinic and show her friendship and support. This infuriates Hillary Faye further and Cassandra works to make sure Patrick stays interested in Mary and thwart Hillary Faye's stranglehold on American Eagle.

Mixed in with the story of youthful discovery of the hypocrisy upon which they have built their lives is a subplot where Mary's mother is clearly involved with Pastor Skip, whose marriage is anything but happy. Pastor Skip, standing for the Christian sense of morality, is unwilling to divorce his wife, but cannot (obviously) make his relationship with Mary's mother public. This leads to one of only two problems I could find in the entire film. Near the climax of the film, Mary's relationship with Skip is made explicit and because the scene occurs in public, the viewer has to wonder if Skip has become a complete moron or if the writers just got completely careless.

While Saved! has a few moments of predictability, at least for those who can see which way the wind is blowing with the satire, the only other real problem with the movie is with the casting. Martin Donovan is wonderful as Pastor Skip and he is well-cast. Dean is played by the equally-good Chad Faust. While Patrick is Pastor Skip's son and Dean has no relation, Faust and Donovan have a remarkably similar facial structure. The eyes and jawline of the two actors is unsettlingly similar for two characters who have no relation.

That said, Saved! is funny, heartwarming and enlightening. Saved! exposes the Paulist community for exactly what it is; as human as any other group of people. As a result, the characters are motivated by fundamental human desires and faults. Mary tries to do what she believes is right based upon her faith and her vision, even though it is irrational and objectively foolish. Similarly, Hillary Faye is jealous and conceited, just like many girls her age. What many might not realize before watching Saved! is that the Christian community has cliques just like every other group of people, especially young people.

Saved! is also blessed (I couldn't resist) with amazing acting. For a film using no a-listers, the movie is dead-on with the acting. Arguably the most recognizable name comes from singer Mandy Moore, who plays Hillary Faye. Moore brings the same upbeat eagerness to Saved! that she brought to American Dreamz (reviewed here!), but she manages to have a much darker undertone to her character here which she pulls off plausibly with a very tight body language. As well, Mackauly Caulkin, who plays Roland is decent. He plays Roland with a jaded sense and while my partner rightly observed that he ought to have bulked up to play the role of a young man who has been wheelchair bound for years, he makes one believe that he actually is wheelchair-bound, especially in the lone scene where he pulls himself up off the ground.

But almost the entire film hinges on Jena Malone, who plays Mary. Mary has a character arc that takes her from blind faith to agnostic and Malone makes the transformation entirely realistic by gradually introducing elements into Mary's character that make the changes a natural progression. From playing opposite a fifty-foot tall cutout Jesus (one of the powerful acting moments where Malone swears bitterly at the sign) to playing with Mary-Lousie Parker (Mary's mother) to Faust, Malone holds her own and has a surprising screen presence. I write "surprising," because Mary is supposed to be the sidekick and is intended to be awkward when she has the spotlight cast upon her, in complete contrast to Moore's Hillary Faye. Yet, Malone makes the simplicity of Mary work and be more exciting than the flash of the film's resident blonde. Malone's unassuming quality, in fact, makes her more watchable and intriguing than anyone else. While Malone may seem blandly wholesome initially, Mary's story takes off and Malone makes the character's transformations work.

On DVD, Saved! features two different commentary tracks which are entertaining and insightful on the making and reception of the film. There are bloopers which are moderately funny and deleted scenes which flesh the movie out even better. In addition to the theatrical trailer, there is also a featurette on the making of Saved! but some of that is repetitive from the commentary tracks. All in all, though, Saved! makes decent use of the medium.

And for those with a stomach for social satire, Saved! is funny and clever, with a dry wit and an open humor alternately. The film promises viewers it will expose what virtually every other group has had exposed: that at the end of the day, we are all people and as much as groups try to separate themselves, they are largely motivated by the same basic emotions. This is a clever and enjoyable way to remind some dogmatic individuals about that.

For other works featuring Jena Malone, be sure to visit my reviews of:
Sucker Punch
The Soloist
Pride & Prejudice
Donnie Darko

10/10

For other film reviews, please visit my Movie Review Index Page for an orderly listing of all the films I have reviewed!

© 2012, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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I Let Up On Disney To Praise The 2011 Tangled Rapunzel Ornament Succeeds!

The Good: Great sculpt, Generally good coloring, Comparatively inexpensive, Great balance
The Bad: Coloring on hair is not as vibrant as in the movie.
The Basics: The 2011 "Rapunzel" from Tangled ornament would be perfect if only they had gotten the hair color as bright and yellow as in the film.


Last year, my wife and I saw Tangled and I was actually surprised by how much I enjoyed it. I was unsurprised how Hallmark leaped on the latest Disney movie to release an ornament from Tangled. Apparently, it sold well-enough because for 2011 there is a new Rapunzel ornament. Truth be told, the Rapunzel ornament is very close to perfect, so much so that I felt I couldn't kvetch about the price (I'm still stuck about ten years in the past in the belief that most character ornaments ought to be $9.95 or below!).

For those unfamiliar with Tangled (reviewed here!), it is the musical story of Rapunzel. Kept in a tower by the woman who abducted her as a baby, she has exceptionally long hair that is the source of the magic that keeps her "mother" young. Rapunzel with her hair cascading down around her is how Hallmark captures the heroine for the 2011 ornament.

Basics

The "Rapunzel" ornament recreates Rapunzel, presumably from a musical number, as she appeared in Tangled with her long, flowing hair coasting down around her. The ornament, released in 2011, is a very cool and accurate sculpt of Rapunzel in her pink and purple dress with her hair cascading down behind her.

Hallmark clearly made quite an effort on Rapunzel as she has great detailing on the eyes and with the lacing up the front of her bodice. Measuring three and seven-eighths inches tall, three inches wide and one and seven-eighths inches deep, the "Rapunzel" ornament is one of the larger Hallmark character ornaments this year, on account of the way her hair spirals around her. As well, it is surprisingly affordable at only $14.95.

The Hallmark "Rapunzel" ornament is made of a durable plastic and has Rapunzel looking giddy. The ornament is incredibly detailed in the sculpted details and the colored details are generally good. Rapunzel escapes the usual critique about the lack of realism to the skin tones, because she is an animated character. The ornament's eyes are bright green. Unfortunately, the bright yellow hair tries to have a more realistic sense of coloring, featuring brown and yellow highlights. This, unfortunately, is less realistic than the actual coloring of the character.


Features

As a Hallmark Keepsake ornament, "Rapunzel" could have a sound effect, but it does not. Instead, this is a less-expensive option that is just the character.

Balance

As with all ornaments, the intent of the Hallmark Keepsake "Rapunzel" ornament is to be hung on a Christmas Tree. And for those creating the ultimate Disney movie Christmas Tree, the "Rapunzel" ornament is a surprisingly affordable option that can only enhance the tree of those who love Disney. The ornament has the standard brass hook loop embedded into the top center of Rapunzel's head. This is fairly obvious and necessary for the ornament. Rapunzel hangs perfectly perpendiculat to the ground.

Collectibility

Hallmark Keepsake began delving into the collectibles market in 1991 with Star Trek when it introduced the exceptionally limited edition original U.S.S. Enterprise ornament (click here for that review!). Within a few years, every major franchise from Star Wars to A Nightmare Before Christmas to Indiana Jones started making Hallmark ornaments. "Rapunzel" is one of only a few Tangled ornaments on the market and at least the second of Rapunzel. Mandy Moore fans and fans of Disney movies are very happy about the "Rapunzel" ornament. They have a lot to be happy with with this one. Interestingly, this ornament has sold out already at all five Hallmark stores proximate to me, so this might have greater-than-average collectible value for a Disney Hallmark ornament.

Overview

Fans of Tangled, Disney, Mandy Moore, and Hallmark ornaments are likely to be thrilled by this ornament, despite its minor coloring problem with the hair. She is certainly cute, well-balanced and potentially collectible enough to recommend, especially at her original issue price.

For other 2011 Hallmark character ornaments, please check out my reviews of:
2011 Fleeing The Fiendfyre Harry Potter ornament
2011 Limited Edition Bossk ornament
2011 "Almost A Kiss" Gone With The Wind ornament

9/10

For other ornament reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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A Phenomenal Satire Exploding With Relevance: American Dreamz Delivers!

The Good: Excellent acting, FUNNY, Good characters, Universal jibes
The Bad: Pacing near the end, Slightly dated
The Basics: In a terrifically funny parody of our times, American Dreamz takes shots at the United States of America's president, obsession with reality television and overall attitude.


[Note: This review was originally written during the Bush Administration and I decided to keep the original opening because, like the film, captured a very clear sense of time and place. Enjoy! - W.L. Swarts]

American Dreamz, a comedy about politics and reality television written by Paul Weitz and my reaction afterwards was simple, "Why hadn't I heard more about this movie when it was out?!"

American Dreamz follows two parallel storylines as the President of the United States, a Bush-like buffoon named Stanton wins re-election, reads a newspaper and is shocked to discover the world is much bigger than the United States while at the same time, Martin Tweed, executive producer and judge of the wildly popular American Idol-type show American Dreamz hunts for talent to make the new season of the show even more popular than its previous ones. He finds his talent in the form of Sally Kendoo, a young woman who thirsts for stardom and has real talent. Also on the show is Omer Obeidi, an Arab who pretty much flunked out of terrorist school and who is activated for martyrdom only when he becomes a contestant on American Dreamz and the President is announced as a guest judge for the final episode.

What's worst about this movie is so closely tied to what is best about it that it's almost impossible to start my review with the low-point and make it clear I am discussing the film's weakness. American Dreamz is the satire of our time, right now, 2004-2006. This is it. Paul Weitz brilliantly pokes fun at every institution and popular culture/political individual of this time and place in the world. And he does it universally, so it's not just a poke at the American president, the American Idol contestants, the soldiers, the suicide bombers, the television executives, it's ALL of them. And it's brilliant and funny. And it will be forgotten as one of the best movies of the decade or such because in two years, it will be so dated as to be obsolete. Dust-covered copies of this DVD will be pulled off the shelf in sixty years and shown to grandchildren who will shake their heads and wonder why people would think it was funny to have an idiot for a president and that television would be ruled by tweens who rely on the American public for gratification and reinforcement.

In short, there is nothing so universal about American Dreamz and that is its weakness; it is destined to be forgotten as the United States works to regain its respectable status in the world and eliminate the black stains of warmongering and bullying of the past six years.

But right now, this is hilarious and it's what we need as American citizens who cannot stand the things being carried out in our name. This is the chance to laugh about the follies of our times. And it is all about our time. President Stanton is a clear George Bush parody, embodied by the stubborn refusal to read the news, to listen to others and to face reality. His Chief of Staff is a Cheney/Rove parody that plays like the MadTV Frankenstein-esque Cheney for the hour and a half of the movie - and I see that as a good thing. Sally Kendoo is a clear parody of Kelly Clarkson and the choice to parody Clarkson is actually a decent one; Clarkson is clearly the most talented individual to come out of the American Idol scene and as such parodying her is not simply picking on the novelty contestants, which are represented in the movie by Omer and an Israeli contestant.

American Dreamz works because all of the characters are types. Sally Kendoo is the archetypal will poke her eyes out for success, win at all costs, American youth who has talent and is ready to exploit herself and her talent to succeed. Martin Tweed is the embodiment of every negative stereotype of a Simon Cowell who has achieved success in a way that does not stimulate him and who must remain at the top of his game, lest he lose everything he has built. And even the minor characters work because they are simply "types" and parodies. Indeed, the name of Marcia Gay Harden's character is simply "First Lady Stanton."

And Harden's portrayal of First Lady Stanton is enviable and one of the few chinks in the otherwise tight armor of American Dreamz. First Lady Stanton is articulate, even if somewhat cowed, and her interactions with President Stanton make the viewer long for the days of strong First Ladies who would be an asset to the nation. Other than her, all the "types" fit our current circumstances and they work.

They work because the actors playing them are devoted to selling the jokes and the portrayals of our times. Sam Golzari is hilarious dancing to show tunes in a tent at the terrorist training camp. Hugh Grant, looking somewhat older than when previous seen, is morose and charming, flashy and deeply sarcastic and he makes us forget he is Hugh Grant. After the first few minutes on screen, Grant IS Martin Tweed.

Mandy Moore deserves a lot of credit for her role as Sally Kendoo. Moore is smart and turns her emotions on a dime to make a joke for the movie. Some of the best comic timing comes between her, Jennifer Coolidge (her character's mother) and the agent they've hired in figuring out Kendoo's story for the show. Moore whips out some of the funniest lines in succession with a deadpan delivery that is amazing.

Dennis Quaid, who I never would have guessed could do it, does the most amazing parody of George W. Bush throughout the film. He adopts a swaggering, frat-boy type attitude and has moments where he is able to disengage from all reality with a clueless look on his face that masterfully create a character who is a clear interpretation of the person he seeks to embody. Quaid is given some challenging lines to deliver without breaking that mold, most notably during the President's appearance on American Dreamz and he does it admirably. One suspects those lines that Quaid delivers are pure wish fulfillment on the part of writer/director Weitz, who no doubt desperately wishes to hear them spoken by Bush.

The person who steals the show is Willem Dafoe. Dafoe is brilliant as the sinister, manipulative, evil genius puppetmaster Chief of Staff. Dafoe does an extraordinary job creating a Rovian Cheney character who manipulates the President, down to telling him exactly what to say via a transmitter in the President's ear. And throughout, Dafoe laces the performance with subtle strokes from Weitz that are scathing, wherein the Chief of Staff shrinks away from all forms of acknowledgment or responsibility, even literally slinking out of a spotlight. Dafoe is instantly recognizable for the character he is meant to represent and he is utterly hilarious in the role. I would never have guess him for it, but he sells it flawlessly.

Writer and director Paul Weitz deserves a lot of credit for American Dreamz. It's a smart movie and it works on a number of levels. From the parody of the names, it's no coincidence that the lead contestant is named "Kendoo" (i.e. "can do") and the President's name is meant to sound so close to "Stalin," to the most subtle joke near the climax of the movie which I think is one of the funniest (when Liberty is thrown in his car and taken from American Dreamz, the window in front of where he is being protected is rolled down), Weitz creates a movie that is smart and funny and working on multiple levels. He deserves credit for that.

Ultimately, though, the movie ends and we wake up to a new, higher body count and politicians who continue to abrogate responsibility and our laughter turns to discomfort and we envy Weitz's created world, where things change in the significant things and the only things that stay the same are the ways people are exploited on reality television for their own perceived gain.

For other films featuring Hugh Grant, please be sure to visit my reviews of:
Did You Hear About The Morgans?
Love Actually
Bridget Jones's Diary

8/10

For other film reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011, 2006 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Weird, Dark And Complicated, Southland Tales Might Be The Best Political Film In Years.

The Good: Pleasantly weird, An amazing cast, Surprisingly good acting
The Bad: Light on bonus features/No director's cut
The Basics: Delightfully confusing, but with the realistic complications of a vast network of individuals acting on their own motivations, Southland Tales mystifies its way to success.


When it comes to watching new films, there are very few films I want to see without knowing something about them on one level or another. Life is too short to waste my time with lousy movies (though, strangely, when it comes to new films, I seem to be willing to sit through anything I can screen for free), so I usually like going into movies knowing something about them. The exception to that is when there is a director I trust. If a film is good enough, it "buys" my immediate interest in the writer/director's next film. So, for example, P.T. Anderson and Terry Gilliam get my money consistently because they have both made films which are perfect. So, when I saw and enjoyed Donnie Darko (reviewed here!), writer and director Richard Kelly instantly earned my attention for his film Southland Tales.

Truth be told, getting Southland Tales out from my local library was not a random thing. I wanted to see Southland Tales, because I had followed the tumultuous history of its production. The SciFi Wire reported extensively on the problems Richard Kelly was having in getting the film released and I was completely fascinated about it. Unfortunately, the SciFi Wire upgraded to a more flashy, Flash-based system that takes forever to load on my computer (or crashes it altogether), so I never learned how the problems were resolved and that the film hit theaters. As a result, I was pleased to get this in and watch it.

Southland Tales, which had a plot that I knew nothing about in advance, is just what I would have expected by the writer and director of Donnie Darko. Richard Kelly both wrote and directed Southland Tales and it is stylish, weird and smart. It is like a postapocalyptic story that mixes Dark City (reviewed here!) and Mulholland Drive. Usually, if I figure out what other movies a film is like, I tend not to enjoy it, but Southland Tales got me into it right away.

Following a nuclear attack in Texas in 2005, the United States goes to war throughout the Middle East and Asia. As the wars rage on, the oil supply is so compromised that alternative fuel research becomes a real, vital and immediate need. The United States fractures over opposing viewpoints and the 2008 election hinges entirely on California's electoral college votes. In order to influence the 2008 election, a network of seemingly unrelated people attempt to affect vice presidential candidate Senator Bobby Frost.

This takes the form of Frost's son-in-law, actor Boxer Santaros waking up with amnesia and taking up with porn star Krysta Now, who is trying to sell a reality show. Boxer is manipulated through an encounter which puts him at an apparent crime scene where a racist cop shoots two people and he suffers a psychotic break. But the wrong cop is actually the twin brother of a man close to the conspirators. As he and Boxer each try to figure out what the agenda is of the neo-Marxists, the creator of an energy source called Fluid Karma and a pilot who has gone missing (and probably crazy) they both find themselves running for their lives or beaten on by friends and enemies alike.

Sound weird? It is. Does the plot summary read as confusing enough that you're still not really sure what the movie is about? Well, then, you're on the same page as virtually everyone else who has seen the movie. Southland Tales is a trippy film (the story takes an abrupt stop to have Private Pilot Abilene, the missing pilot) experience a drug trip music video which arguably has nothing to do with the rest of the film. This is a movie that puts style in front of comprehension and it does that magnificently, though it is presented with voiceovers which explain a lot of the most basic plot points. The only real issue viewers are likely to have is with figuring out how what they are told relates to what they are seeing on screen at any given moment.

Fortunately, there are answers, but the viewer must be patient for them and they have to put up with a lot of technobabble to get there. The film is deeply concerned with politics in one scene - not just American electoral politics, but radical feminism and antiwar messages - and alternate realities in another. Throughout the film, the government is painted as a nefarious spying organization which has taken over the Internet as best it can. And with the mix of advertising saturation, violent crime and the creation of a feasible pop culture in this altered United States, this all seems real . . . when it is not being completely surreal.

Part of what makes it work is the amazing cast. In addition to great character actors like Wallace Shawn and Miranda Richardson and dignified mainstays like John Larroquette and Seann William Scott (who is plausibly dark and humorless in his part), the cast is driven by unlikely cast members who give great performances. Bai Ling has a weird, minor role which she carries wonderfully and Mandy Moore's few scenes have her portraying a character who seems about as confused as the audience. Even Sarah Michelle Gellar gives a decent performance, though she is playing a somewhat over-the-top ridiculous porn star.

The true acting surprise comes from none other than Dwayne Johnson. Johnson plays Boxer and he has an unlikely sensibility to his performance in this. Instead of playing the heavy, he plays a realistically confused man, damaged by the machinations he is a pawn in. What makes his performance so good is his body language. When menaced, Boxer has a nervous tick and it is weird, consistent and well-conceived.

On DVD, there is only a featurette on the government spy network and an animated short. They are cool, but viewers who either enjoy or don't understand the film are likely to want quite a bit more.

Amid spiritualism, alternate energy sources, drug use and government spying, there is a story in Southland Tales. But to understand it all is likely to take multiple viewings and the film does not fall into any easy niches. As a result, it becomes difficult to discuss. Those who like science fiction with political depth and movies that are surreal, like those of David Lynch, are likely to love this film. I'm one who likes dramas to have a story and character development, but when there's enough to come back to because I didn't understand all the layers, that's a rare thing. Southland Tales is one such film and I'm looking forward to my next viewings, though honestly, I am hoping there comes a time when a director's cut with Kelly's true, original vision, becomes available. I'm betting it wouldn't have the explanations and lacking the voiceovers, it's quite possible the movie becomes even more ambiguous. I could live with that.

For other trippy films, please check out my reviews of:
Inception
Sucker Punch
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus

8/10

For other movie reviews, be sure to check out my index page by clicking here!

© 2011, 2010 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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