Friday, November 12, 2010

I Get A Little Lewd Reviewing "Very Cherry" Jelly Belly Jelly Beans!

Very Cherry Jelly Belly Jelly Beans - 10 lbs bulk
Click to buy directly from Jelly Belly!


The Good: Great realistic flavor, Environmentally responsible bulk, Taste does not fade
The Bad: No real nutritional value, Somewhat unpleasant aftertaste
The Basics: Very Cherry Jelly Belly jelly beans are a tough sell in such bulk considering how right the company gets the aftertaste that sour cherries have!


The fine folks at Jelly Belly jelly beans must be the most diabolical food scientists in the world, I believe. After all, how else could one account for a single company that creates such amazing jelly beans that possess flavors so vividly of what they promise, like Honey Bean, a mouth-twisting Sour Orange, and the realistic flavor of Buttered Popcorn. There are very few companies, especially confectioners, who could then be expected to produce a jelly belly called Very Cherry and actually live up to the full potential and realism of that name.

Jelly Belly jelly bean company, however, manages to do exactly that. Very Cherry Jelly Bellys are precisely what they promise to be; a jelly bean taste treat that tastes just like cherries. Unfortunately, this means that they have something of a sour kick to them and, as well, that they do not taste like cherry popsicles or cherry juice or even cherry pie; this is the taste of pure, unadulterated cherry in the purest, most real sense.

Who needs ten pounds of Very Cherry flavored Jelly Bellys? Anyone who would giggle over any sort of double entendre I could make with "cherries" would probably enjoy a box that big, after all, it represents a lot of jokes that could be made. To be fair, it is not just lewd people who might want this quantity of Very Cherry jelly beans, just people who like authentic cherry taste in their jelly beans (wink wink, nudge nudge)). Anyone who might like Very Cherry Jelly Belly jelly beans will likely find that this is the best way to get them in bulk in an environmentally responsible way for the least amount of money.

Basics

Very Cherry is a flavor of Jelly Belly jelly beans. Jelly Belly jelly beans are approximately one half inch long by one quarter inch wide and they are roughly bean-shaped. These little candies are marketed to taste precisely like cherry and they live up to that exceptionally well.

Very Cherry flavored Jelly Bellys are available in a wide array of quantities, but the largest quantity available is the ten pound bulk case. This is a decent-sized box with a plastic lining and while some might wonder why anyone would need a ten pound box, I ask, "Have you ever spent years looking for your lost cherry jelly bellys? It's much easier to find them when you have a big box like this!" I suspect that for most people, a ten pound case is a year's supply of these jelly beans.

Very Cherry flavored Jelly Bellys are tough to separate out from some of the other red Jelly Belly jelly beans. For example, these are almost the same shade as the other opaque red beans, Red Apple. Similarly, Raspberry are dark enough that while translucent they look like the opaque red Very Cherry beans in low light. Fortunately, all of the other red Jelly Bellys are either translucent red or have spots of some form.

Ease Of Preparation

These are jelly beans, not finding a cherry at a porn star convention! In the case of the ten pound box, one might want to put them in a candy dish of some form as opposed to always going into the box. Then again, there is no law against eating them right from the box, so you can always dip your hand into the box for the Very Cherry Jelly Bellys.

Taste

Very Cherry Jelly Bellys have a slight cherry scent and when accumulated in a big box like this, the scent can actually amount to something. In fact, this is one of the more aromatic Jelly Bellys and it prepares the consumer for a strong, cherry taste.

Very Cherry lives up to that potential from the outer coating on through the bean. The flavored shell has the texture of a cherry, smooth and without much give. It also has a slightly bland sweetness to it. This sets the consumer up for the surprise that comes from the sour center of the jelly bean. Like real cherries, the center is an almost unpleasant sour burst that explodes in the mouth and lingers on the tongue well after one has swallowed the last of the jelly bean. It is brilliant how thorough and powerful the taste of the cherry is in this Jelly Belly.

As well, Very Cherry flavored Jelly Bellys do not diminish in taste when you eat vast quantities of them. No, these taste like Very Cherry bite after bite, never fading and that only adds to the value of the ten pound case. Of course, with the sourness of the cherry flavor, it is hard to want to have ten pounds of these around for as long as a box will likely last!

Nutrition

Again, these are jelly beans, so anyone looking to them for nutrition needs to understand they are not real fruit, though they taste like they could have been at one point. Jelly beans, even Jelly Belly jelly beans, are not a legitimate source of nutrition. These are a snack food, a dessert, and are in no way an adequate substitute for a real meal. A serving is listed at thirty-five beans, with each Jelly Belly jelly bean having approximately four calories. This means that in a single serving, there are 140 calories, which is 12% of your daily recommended intake.

The thing is, Jelly Belly jelly beans are not as bad as they could be in the nutrition area. They have no fat and no protein, but for those who have ever dated a Vegan, these are Vegan compliant because they contain no gelatin! They have only one percent of the daily sodium with 15 mg and they are gluten free! The main ingredients are sugar, corn syrup and modified food starch, so it's not like this is an all-natural food, but they could be far, far worse.

Storage/Clean-up

Jelly Belly jelly beans have a shelf life of approximately one year and I have yet to run across a stale Jelly Belly (though that could have something to do with a package never surviving a year around me and this flavor doesn't even last six months usually). They remain freshest when they are kept in an airtight container (the bag in the bulk box is sufficient if it is kept closed) and they ought to be kept in a lukewarm environment. Storing them in hot places is likely to make the beans stick together and be gross. Kept in a cool, dry place, the beans retain their flavor perfectly.

As for cleanup, unless one allows the Jelly Belly to get hot to the point that the waxy coating on the bean melts, the dyes on these do not bleed or denature, so there is usually no cleanup necessary, not even washing one's hands after eating them (always wash your hands before doing anything involving jelly beans or cherries). I've never had Very Cherry Jelly Bellys stain anything.

Overall

Very Cherry Jelly Belly jelly beans are a great embodiment of cherry flavor and that is both the strength and weakness of this bean; they are true to the sour nature of some cherries and that makes them fairly unpleasant to consume in this level of bulk. Still, it is hard to complain when Jelly Belly gets it this right.

For other Jelly Belly flavors reviewed by me, please check out:
Sizzling Cinnamon
Blueberry
Tutti-Fruitti

9/10

For other food and drink reviews, please be sure to check out my index page!

© 2010, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.



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2 comments:

  1. Very interesting article....In 1976 with my last 800.00 I was the founder of the Jelly Belly. A documentary on my life will air on November 27 at 8:00 pm eastern and pacific on the Documentary channel. This story tells how my dream turned into a nightmare....Everyone who has a sweet tooth should watch this film....thank you David Klein

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  2. WOW!!!!! I never had any idea that the founder of Jelly Belly would actually find my little blog of Jelly Belly jelly bean reviews!!!! I'm glad you enjoyed what you read; I'm going through the entire line and they are/were fun reviews to write. Thank you so much for the comment!

    -W.L.

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