Robust And Fiery, Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing Cheddar Is A Mixed Bag!

The Good: Melts well, Nothing truly bad in it, Flavorful
The Bad: Difficult to work with, A little more expensive than I would like, Overly hot!
The Basics: Ridiculously hot, Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing cheese is hard to recommend for anyone who doesn't want their mouth burned out.


I like flavor, but not having my tastebuds ripped out of my mouth and trampled upon by any food. That is why I might not be the best judge of Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing cheddar cheese. This cheddar is supposed to be so hot as to remind consumers of the bar food Buffalo wings. I am not a big fan of hot food, so I would not especially enjoy Buffalo wings, or I haven't when I have had them at parties and the like. Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing cheddar lives up to the wretchedly hot flavor of Buffalo wings.

I encountered Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese at the grocery store at $7.99/lb. Regardless of my personal issues with this cheese, that price is a value, even if that was a sale price.

Basics

Yancey's Fancy is a manufacturer of Artisan Cheeses here in upstate New York. The intent of most Yancey's Fancy cheeses is that they will be cheeses that hold their own as snacks that may be served to consumers in fancier settings. They specialize in cheddar cheeses that have different flavors infused into them: champagne, jalapeno, various nuts, etc., as well as more exotic cheeses like Bergenost. Yancey's Fancy cheeses come in wheels (usually ten or twenty pounds each) and most stores chop the wheels into blocks. On-line, it is fairly easy to find the cheese in one pound blocks.

The Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese is exactly as its name implies. This is a solid orange cheese with little red embedded pepper pieces. The pepper chunks are much like the red pepper flakes one finds at pizza shops and they are spread pretty uniformly throughout the blocks of cheddar.

Ease Of Preparation

Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese is a cheese, so more often than not, it is used on its own or as an ingredient in a recipe. Preparation of the cheese is pretty simple: if it has been purchased in a smaller quantity than the entire wheel, remove the plastic wrap it is sealed in. When that is done, simply peel back the wax coating on the outer edges. This happens with remarkable ease. The Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese seems to not adhere to the wax. This makes it a very easy cheese to separate from the wax coating and it may be placed on a cutting block or plate ready to be cut!

Unfortunately, Buffalo Wing cheddar cheese is difficult to work with. While the cheese melts fairly easily, it does not lend itself well being a uniform component in dishes. A cheese plane causes this cheddar to fracture more than slice and it breaks up quite a bit while being grated as well. Our block took a while to use in our kitchen, though I used it in sandwiches, omelets and atop hamburgers.


Taste

Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese has a peppery scent which is so strong that it opens the nostrils right up and gets the eyes watering. The scent is enough to cause a physical reaction that is unpleasant to those who are not fond of hot foods.

Placed on the tongue, Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing cheddar is a study in a lack of subtlety. The taste is that of hot peppers surrounded by a mild cheese flavor. The cheese acts more as a medium than anything else. That medium carries the gut-wrenchingly hot peppery flavor of the Buffalo Wing sauce in the cheese and it spreads to whatever this cheese is melted over.

Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing cheddar is so strong that it overwhelms the flavor of every food it is melted over. Potatoes, for example, do not mute the fire taste of this cheese, making it hard to enjoy with anything else.

Nutrition

Yancey's Fancy New York Artisan Cheeses are not intended to be all that one lives on. But for those who try, the Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese is not a terribly healthy or pleasant choice. A serving size is considered a one inch block (1 oz.). In that, there are 110 calories, 80 of which are from fat. This cheese has 25% of one's daily recommended saturated fat intake and 11% of the RDA of sodium. On the plus side, it does have 20% of the RDA of calcium and has six grams of protein.

Obviously, Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese is a dairy product, so those who are lactose intolerant will have problems with it. This cheese is made primarily of aged cheddar cheese, habanero peppers and jalapeno peppers. That makes it mostly natural, despite a trio of preservatives.

Storage/Cleanup

As a cheese, Yancey's Fancy Buffalo Wing Cheddar cheese should be kept refrigerated. So long as that happens, it ought to stay fresh for several weeks. I am utterly unable to write about shelf-life, though this was a Yancey's Fancy cheese that lasted longer than most for us. It took me two weeks to get through the one-pound block we purchased. So long as it is kept in an airtight, cold environment, it ought to remain fresh and supple.

Buffalo Wing is a cheese, so it is not going to stain or ruin anything unless it is ground into a fabric. Baring that, cleanup of nonporous surfaces is as easy as wiping them with a damp cloth.


Overall

Yancey's Fancy's Buffalo Wing cheddar cheese lives up to its name as a hot pepper-accented cheese that is so strong as to be unpleasant to those who are not fond of overly spicy foods.

For other Yancey's Fancy cheese reviews, please check out my takes on:
Smoked Gouda
New York Sharp Cheddar
Horseradish Cheddar

5/10

For other food and drink reviews, please visit my index page on the subject! That is available by clicking here!

© 2011 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Kevin Smith's Perfect Film: Dogma

The Good: Funny, Witty, Insightful, Well-acted, Wonderful characters, Message, Themes
The Bad: Insecurity of a longer film
The Basics: A perfect film focusing on the hypocrisy of religion vs. god, Dogma succeeds in being funny and intelligent.


Dogma is a film it's difficult to not evaluate with an emotional reaction because so many people have so many feelings about religion. I think Dogma's tagline ought to have been "God Commandeth Thee To Lighten Up." Despite what you may have heard, Dogma is a surprisingly serious film and it pulls itself off quite well.

The story is that Loki and Bartleby are two angels who have fallen from grace and now have found a way back into Heaven using a loophole in Catholic ceremonial belief. So, as they journey to Red Bank, New Jersey, the Metatron (an angel who acts as the voice of god) finds Bethany and charges her with the holy task of stopping the angels from completing their mission. The premise is simple. If the angels receive forgiveness from the Catholic church, they can be absolved of their sins and enter heaven which god said they could never do again and if god is proven wrong, existence would collapse.

Such is the premise of Dogma. And the execution is riotous. Bethany is not forced to go it alone. She is accompanied by Jay and Silent Bob (from Clerks, Mallrats, and Chasing Amy) who are acting as prophets and Rufus, the neglected 13th apostle.

And it's funny. Repeatedly. I've seen this film at least fifteen times now and it still makes me laugh. Aloud. Frequently. It's hilarious. It is packed with humor.

It's also packed with important messages that need to be spoken of in this day in age. The film tackles the idea of belief verses ideas and the danger of imposing a belief on others. One need only look at the current violence in the world to see that this is a lesson a lot of people need to learn. Dogma illustrates wonderfully the danger of beliefs and imposing them upon others.

But it does it with essential humanism. Bethany reads as quite real. Her reactions of bafflement as she travels from her ordinary life to enlightenment are deeply human and very much right on.

Kevin Smith creates a perfect film on his fourth flick. The man makes it seem effortless to create a situation that is grand and devastating while loading it with humor and intelligence. Sure, there are a lot of jokes based on flatulence and anatomy, but there are also wonderful long monologues about the essential messages of the film.

The drawback of the film is revealed on the Special Edition DVD - which is a great investment if you view Dogma and like it - in the deleted and extended scenes, which is that so much of the film was trimmed. While I agree with the assessment that the Golgotham deserved only one scene, the other deleted and shortened scenes deserved to be kept in. Smith's - and Hollywood's - fear of a three hour film is a disappointing one. There was enough information, meat and (dare I say?) soul to keep much of the removed material in.

But even without those scenes, Dogma pulls itself off as a perfect film. Entirely rewatchable, the story is solid, the characters are interesting and the acting is wonderful. Ben Affleck gives his best performance as Bartleby, going from an intellectual to an emotional, vengeful angel. Matt Damon is surprisingly good as Loki, who goes on the opposite journey from vengeful to thoughtful. Linda Fiorentino presents Bethany with realism and heart. The surprises on the acting front are in the form of Chris Rock and Jason Mewes. Rock shows he can deliver dramatic sequences in character, as opposed to devolving into his comedy routines as himself. He's good and when he's supposed to be funny, he is and distinctly as Rufus as opposed to Chris Rock (though there are moments . . .). Jason Mewes, likewise, presents Jay with more clarity and consistency than one might expect. The role may be of a confused stoner, but the acting is consistent and precise.

The short of it is that there is finally a film that the devout (who have a sense of humor) and the atheist may sit down together and watch and enjoy equally.

For other movies featuring Alan Rickman, please visit my reviews of:
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2
Alice In Wonderland
Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber Of Fleet Street
Love Actually

10/10

For other film reviews, click here to visit my index page!

© 2011, 2002 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Not The Miracle Anti-Stink Device One Might Want: Renuzit Aroma Adjustables Apple & Cinnamon.

The Good: Generally decent smell, Inexpensive enough, Easy to use
The Bad: Does not look all that great, Does not endure all that well.
The Basics: The Apple & Cinnamon Renuzit Aroma Adjustable had a great initial scent, but within a day, it required more manipulation to get anything out of it.


Given that my wife and I live together in the upstairs of a house with two cats and a dog, how our place smells is of great concern to both of us. Cramped quarters and the summer heat have put us both a little on edge about the potential for our living area to smell, especially because of the litter boxes we have to keep close together. My wife decided to deal with the potential problem head on by picking up a pair of Renuzit Aroma Adjustables in the Apple & Cinnamon flavor. While she has had excellent experiences with them in the past, I am finding the product to be mediocre at best.

Renuzit Aroma Adjustables are best analogized as scented candles without the wick. These are waxy cones that come in a plastic cone package that are actually solidified essential oils that emit a scent. The principle behind them is simple; air passes through them, they slowly effervesce throughout a room and for a couple of months, the living environment smells like the scent the Adjustables claims to have, in this case, Apple & Cinnamon. The principle is a generally good one; Renuzit Aroma Adjustables eliminate the potential danger of burning down one's house by having an inflammable odor-releaser and offer long-lasting odor coverage.

The problem I'm having with my Apple & Cinnamon Adjustables, though, is that it does not seem to work in the long term the way it promises. Renuzit Aroma Adjustables have an instant scent, but the longer my Adjustables have been open, the less the smell permeates the room. Given that the point of this little device is supposed to be making odor control effortless - as opposed to having to light a candle every day or two and remember to blow it out - the Apple & Cinnamon Renuzit Aroma Adjustables fails horribly.

The Renuzit Aroma Adjustables are five-inch tall plastic cones that look like an overturned snowcone. The base is a clear plastic dish that reveals the red of the Apple & Cinnamon air freshener inside. Use is ridiculously simple; twist the white cap up and set in a place where one wants fresher air. Opening the Adjustables only half an inch instantly releases a cloud of great-smelling air.

The Apple & Cinnamon Renuzit Aroma Adjustables smells exactly like every other apple and cinnamon air freshener I have ever found. It is a sickly sweet scent that is evocative of apples and the cinnamon additive makes it smell more like a pie was baked recently than anything else. The scent is warm and inviting and it certainly covers the smell of cats and dogs quite well. . .

. . . for about a day. The Renuzit Aroma Adjustable is a good theory with a mediocre execution, at least with the Apple & Cinnamon scent. Opening the air freshener half an inch gave us a reprieve for about a day from any animal-related scents. There is the option to open the product more, which is a simple matter of raising the plastic cone on top higher. This does disperse more of the Adjustables's scent. It, however, comes with the added detraction of drying the product out much quicker (when the Adjustable is fully dried out, it is done).

I realized this mediocre product was underperforming when I considered the efforts my partner and I have been making lately. We have our windows open, we've had a fan on, we went over both cats with a shedding blade (reviewed here!) and she shaved her cocker spaniel almost bald! We are not slobs and I clean the litterboxes two to three times a day. But a day after Mitzie - our cocker spaniel - was made almost hairless, I sniffed around and I realized I could not smell even a hint of apple or cinnamon in our home.

I have tried the two essential permutations with this product; closing everything up (and opening the Adjustables more) and opening the upstairs up for more air flow. Neither left me with the scent of apples and cinnamon filling our rooms for more than a day. After the initial opening of this product, the scent only seems to come back when I open the Adjustable more. Even then, the scent of Apples and Cinnamon lasts only about an hour before it fades. To be fair, our home does not smell bad, but it did not smell bad before, either. We purchased the Adjustables more out of concern over the potential for a bad smell than the actual occurrence of one (that we know of!) and watching the Adjustables desiccate - it shrivels up as the oils inside dry out - is far less impressive than having a home that smells like apples and cinnamon.

The Adjustables are easy enough to use; after about a month the red waxy portion that initially looked like a candle will be shriveled to look more like an apple core and even sticking one's nose into it will not reveal the smell it originally had. At that time, the plastic cone and dish may simply be thrown away. This is very easy to use and when placed in high places, it is very safe for use around children and animals.

My problem is that it barely works. For best results, it seems to need to be opened more and more each day and this is hardly the effortless odor control that the device promises to be. I'd rather use something that eliminates odors at the source, is truly effortless or offers me more diverse scents - i.e. incense. Renuzit's Aroma Adjustables left me unimpressed.

For other scented product, check out my reviews of:
Method Pink Grapefruit Cleaning Wipes
United Pet Skunk And Tough Odor Remover
Arm & Hammer Pet Fresh Odor & Stain Remover

3.5/10

For other home and garden product reviews, click here to visit my index page for an organized listing!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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A Few Schmaltzy Episodes Make Friends - The First Season Far Less Great, When Viewed Objectively.

The Good: Funny, Some decent characters and acting
The Bad: Light on DVD bonus features, Some real lame episodes, Somewhat predictable, Ross's monkey
The Basics: An average-at-best sitcom, Friends gets off to a rocky start with "The First Season" on DVD. Catch the syndicated reruns and save your money for better seasons!


Many who know me by my reviews know that I am a sucker for a decent chick flick. Two of my favorite movies of all time include The Spitfire Grill (reviewed here!) and When Harry Met Sally. As far as television goes, there are few series's that I have fell in love with that have the same resonance as a good chick flick. After all, while television is the ideal medium to create long-term romances, too often shows rush to the creation and dissolving of relationships because they do not know how long they will be on the air. And the best possible medium for exploring relationships - the daily soap opera - is far too often concerned with absurd plot twists and over-the-top characterizations than actual human drama (in the UK, shows like Eastenders buck this trend by exploring relationships over years and decades without the inane swings of fortune that come on U.S. soap operas). So, when my partner told me that Friends was one of her favorite shows, I steeled myself for the process of watching the entire series.

The experience began for me when I bought my wife the complete series (reviewed here!) for our recent wedding. I figured it would be a great gift for her and as part of our sharing our lives together, now she is able to share this thing that brings her great joy with me. It begins with Friends - The First Season, a four-disc DVD set which is average at best. Opening with a mediocre pilot episode that soon moves into a steady stream of remarkably average and occasionally obviously schmaltzy episodes, Friends is lucky it survived its first season and considering the quality of later seasons, it is actually easy for even fans to save their money on this set and skip ahead to when the characters and stories are more memorable.

Rachel Green rushes into Central Perk coffee house on the day of her wedding to beg rescue from her casual friend from her high school days, Monica Gellar. Monica and her brother and friends encourage Rachel to stand to her convictions and not marry the dentist, Barry, who she is not at all fully in love with. Eager, then, to discover how people without wealth live, Rachel undergoes the trauma of having to get a job, stop spending her daddy's money and work to survive, while Monica takes her in.

As Rachel acclimates to life as a working person, waitressing at Central Perk (poorly), Monica's brother, Ross, struggles with both the dissolution of his marriage, the fact that his lesbian ex-wife is now having their son and his feelings for Rachel. When Rachel begins dating a neighbor within the building, Ross wrestles with his jealousy and Joey and Chandler help him through. Together with Phoebe, a hippie folk singer who formerly lived with Monica, they hang out and observe life as it happens around them.

The thing is, Friends - The First Season is almost entirely unnecessary for one's permanent collection. The pilot is so bad that one wonders how the series got made and while I began this review considering it an average sitcom, the moment I recalled Ross's monkey Marcel, my stomach tightened up with a loathing that made me wonder how I got through the entire season outside loving the woman I was watching it with. The thing about it is, in its first season, Friends is struggling for its footing and it relies upon cheap plot devices like Marcel and the sudden appearance of Paolo to keep Ross from pursuing Rachel. If that were not bad enough, the final frames of the season use essentially the same plot device and the viewer is left both unsurprised and more or less uninterested in the return the next season. Indeed, for those who want to truly love Friends, it is much easier to recommend that they tune into the reruns in syndication than shell out good money on this DVD set.

It is not all bad, however, despite the hokey obvious emotionalism of episodes like "The One Where Nana Dies Twice" (wherein Ross and Monica's grandmother dies and it is unclear why all of the friends look so very somber about this outside the fact that it is the eighth episode and to guarantee the full order of the season was picked up the producers apparently tried to illustrate the show could do serious as well as slapstick). Chandler's return to smoking and willingness to give it up for cash in "The One With The Thumb" is funny. Also pretty wonderful is "The One With The Boobies" wherein Joey deals with his father having an affair only to learn that his mother knew and was quite content to let him. The first season even has a two-parter which introduces Phoebe's twin sister, Ursula, whom Joey falls for (which is also an excuse for Friends to do a crossover with Mad About You and ER).

For a better understanding of why the show achieved popularity, it helps to understand where the characters began. In the first season, the principles are:

Monica Gellar - A chef who is constantly judged negatively by her mother. She dates on and off, including a high school student she unwittingly falls for, and is completely neurotic. Her sense of order is easily upset and her pragmatism makes her a reasonably reliable friend to Rachel after her existential crisis,

Ross Gellar - Monica's younger brother, he is heartbroken over his wife leaving him for another woman. As he struggles to negotiate with his ex- and her new partner for rights to his unborn child, he feels a strong pull toward Rachel. Filling the void left by his ex-wife, he takes in an illegal monkey whose hijynx keep him occupied for much of the season,

Rachel Green - Having left her fiance at the altar, she is irked to learn that her Maid Of Honor has hooked up with him. As she adapts to not having an unlimited credit card and working a job where FICA takes a significant chunk each week, she dates an Italian in the same building until he, too, hurts her. After swearing off guys for a while, she tries to advance as a waitress, a job she is terrible at,

Chandler Bing - A data processor, he is a whiz at a job he hates. The son of a world famous romance novelist, he is insecure, sarcastic and a generally solid guy. He lives with Joey and after he breaks up with his annoying girlfriend Janice, he is miffed when Joey accidentally sets him up on a blind date with her later on,

Phoebe - A hippie folk singer who is pretty addlebrained, she sings frequently at Central Perk and was Monica's roommate. She has a twin sister and finds herself dating a scientist who has to leave on an important endeavor. She is honest, her friends are the most important thing to her and she makes the world's best oatmeal cookies,

and Joey - A struggling actor, he gets his big break - almost - as a butt double for his hero Al Pacino. He is both sarcastic and witless. He seems to have a way with women and when he falls for Phoebe's twin sister, Ursula, he causes some real strife within the group.

The thing about the first season of Friends is that it is hardly original or distinctive. Instead, the show listlessly attempts to capture twentysomethings who live well in New York City struggling . . . with nothing. If Seinfeld was a show about nothing, Friends is a show where six somewhat younger people experience the same sense of nothing. As a result, it is difficult to say what happens in most of the episodes in this season (which is contrasted with later seasons where episodes are richer in character development and interesting plots). In fact, out of the first season's twenty-four episodes, the most memorable events would have to be a power outage and Chandler quitting his job. Outside that, things like Rachel running back to Barry, Ross's experiences with Marcel and Joey dating are rather unmemorable.

Important events like the birth of Ross's son, tend to happen near the climax of the season and they do not honestly have as much bearing on the future seasons as they could. So, for example, if one started the series with season two, the presence of Ross's son would not be problematic or even inadequately explained. This set is largely backstory before the series honestly became interesting or anything remotely like a classic.

On DVD, the pilot episode has a commentary track that makes the episode no better. In fact, much of it is spent complaining about what had to be cut from the network aired version (whatwith it actually being a full half-hour episode). There is a clipshow with notable guest stars from the first season as well as a map of Central Perk which illustrates the details of that set for those who wish they could live there. There is a trivia game which allows access to a blooper reel and a trailer for season two which is not terribly interesting or even teasing.

In all, Friends - The First Season is average at best and when viewed objectively is a lot more disappointing than most people who aren't loyal fans will admit. It has some wonderful lines, but the episodes are less memorable and the characters are far less interesting than later seasons would make them. In short, the only reason to pick this boxed set up is to see how it all began, not for great memories of a show that developed into something truly wonderful.

For other works featuring Matthew Perry, please be sure to visit my reviews of:
Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip
The West Wing - Season Five
The West Wing - Season Four

4/10

For other television program reviews, please visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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Not Exactly The Most Compelling Card Of All Time: The Spider-Man 3 P1.

The Good: Good image, Informative, Inexpensive enough, Necessary for collectors
The Bad: It's just one card and can usually be found for free!
The Basics: Simple and truly only necessary to collectors, the Spider-Man 3 P1 is a promotional card most people can get free, even now.


Virtually every major blockbuster film that is released these days comes with an accompanying release of a trading card set. This is not entirely a bad thing, but as a trading card dealer, it did not take me long to realize that there is an exceptionally small window of time one has to sell such things. After all, while many people might enjoy this weekend's latest blockbuster film, it takes a seriously devoted fan to buy merchandise associated with it, especially the more expensive collectibles like complete trading card sets. Films like Spider-Man 3 (reviewed here!) followed that trend, but despite selling out at the manufacturer level, dealers have tended to find their sales of the product pretty much died two months after the film's release.

To prepare collectors for the release of the Spider-Man 3 trading cards, Rittenhouse Archives produced a promotional card. Promotional cards are designed to give collectors a tease of the new set and generate enthusiasm for forthcoming card releases. Rittenhouse Archives gave away tens of thousands of Spider-Man 3 P1 promotional cards to collectors (who simply asked for one and sent a self addressed, stamped envelope) and to dealers to freely distribute to potential customers.

Numbered P1 (on the back) the Spider-Man 3 promotional card prepares fans for the style of the common card set for the Spider-Man 3 trading cards. As such, this is a standard trading card size and there is no gimmick to it. It has the Rittenhouse Archives standard UV protective coating to prevent fading and after two and a half years, mine shows no wear (though mine is nicely protected in a binder's poly pages!).

The front of the trading card features the original promotional poster for Spider-Man 3. As a result, it has Spider-Man in his classic red and blue costume crouching back-to-back with the black-suited altered Spider-Man. The dark mirror image was intended to tease the film's themes and fans of Spider-Man were appropriately hooked. The front also features text at the bottom which advertise the Spider-Man 3 Trading Cards. This is the format of the common cards and it accurately predicts how the set would look.

The photography on the front is very clear and the color contrast is decent, which prepares collectors well for the actual set, though this was a very common promotional image and not an actual screen capture. Those looking for something different to get signed should they have a chance encounter with Tobey McGuire will find this works nicely. Having only the one dominant character on the cover is nice for fans, collectors and autograph hunters.

The back of the card simply announces the Spider-Man 3 trading card set, illustrating that it will be a set that includes two autograph cards per box, and indicating that it would be available in May of 2007 (and it was)! The back features images of the two high-level chase cards and mention of sketch cards. But outside the most expensive cards in the set, the card does not tease potential buyers with much information and it is only insinuation and retrospect which lead those looking at the P1 to know that the common card set followed this style of card.

In the end, this card is underwhelming but nice looking. The Spider-Man 3 Trading Card P1 card prepares the consumer for the actual full trading card set. Rittenhouse Archives gave a slew of these away and it is not very collectible at all. As a result, those looking to purchase one of these ought to avoid overpaying. Many dealers throw promotional cards in for free (usually with a purchase) and this card only has a guide value of $2.00. There is no reason to pay more than that.

For other promotional card reviews, please be sure to visit my reviews of:
Revenge Of The Sith P1
Garbage Pail Kids Batty Brad promo
The Clone Wars Season 1 San Diego Comic-Con P1

5/10

For other card reviews, please be sure to visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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"Suspicions:" Killers For The Advancement Of Technology

The Good: Intriguing plot, Nice acting, Interesting character development
The Bad: Some of the direction, Somewhat obvious narrative technique
The Basics: When Dr. Crusher gets involved with a Ferengi scientist determined to prove his worth, she ends up in the middle of a murder mystery in "Suspicions."


When Star Trek The Next Generation tries its hand at a murder mystery, the viewer knows there must be some form of science fiction twist. In "Suspicions," Dr. Crusher becomes both a scientific diplomat and a private investigator. The plus side is, in general, this is a strong episode and it stands up fairly well upon rewatching.

"Suspicions" opens with Dr. Crusher, who has been confined to quarters, being visited by Guinan who is suffering from "tennis elbow." Dr. Crusher reluctantly treats her and Guinan insists on learning how she came to be confined to quarters. Dr. Crusher, it seems, tried to be ambitious and became a "scientific ambassador" to a Ferengi scientist who was working on a technology called metaphasic shielding. This type of shield would allow ships to fly into stars and represents a significant leap forward. Dr. Reyga is ridiculed by most for his ideas, but Dr. Crusher sees his potential and tries to arrange a meeting between him and other, more reputable, scientists. When the first test of the metaphasic shielding kills the alien scientist who attempts to use it, Dr. Reyga apparently kills himself. Crusher, convinced he was not suicidal, wants to do an autopsy, which is denied to her by his family. Unable to find a motive for murder among the remaining suspects, Crusher does the autopsy anyway and finds herself in more jeopardy than she has ever been in.

Dr. Crusher here has a chance to do some great character work. She is a fairly neglected character and here she steps up to both try her hand at being an ambassador and a sleuth. Crusher has never shown any inclination toward either and their inclusion in "Suspicions" feels very organic and realistic. It makes sense that a scientist who needs to be clever to do things like defeat viruses would be willing and able to do some detective work.

What seems terribly contrived is the use of Guinan in the episode. That's not to say it is not a pleasure to see Guinan, but we've never seen her do anything remotely physical save fencing against the captain once. The idea that Guinan plays tennis, especially enough to develop tennis elbow, is somewhat ridiculous. Thus, when we learn at the end of the episode that it is an excuse, we are not surprised and we wonder how Dr. Crusher, who successfully investigates Dr. Reyga's murder, can be so gullible.

Also problematic is some of the direction. The director does fine when doing simple pans around the suspects faces and the last scene where the villain is revealed and is shot repeatedly through the chest comes out looking great. But there are several shots that seem obvious and in your face, like the image is just going to be forced at you no matter what. The one that comes easiest to mind is when Kurak, the Klingon scientist aboard, charges Dr. Crusher. The image seems very forced and it's almost silly in the way her face rushes at the screen. Fortunately, never has a Klingon been shown at such an unflattering angle and lighting again.

Outside that, this episode is a winner. The murderer is an intriguing bit of science fiction and it works well at keeping the viewer intrigued right up until the revelation. Dr. Crusher has a chance to get out of Sickbay and everything adds up in the end. And, as a bonus, metaphasic shielding comes back in future episodes.

This is the chance to see Gates McFadden act at the peak of her game. In "Suspicions," she breathes life into Dr. Crusher, making her more than the bland, "yes man" doctor that she has been since her son, Wesley, left the ship a few seasons back. McFadden has a quality to her that is refreshing to see exhibited. In this episode, she uses her body language well, especially in the scenes she shares with Whoopi Goldberg. She adequately creates a determined character that has been broken somewhat.

Whoopi Goldberg is great as always, though she is trapped working in a script that is poor for her character. Strangely better is actor James Horan. Horan plays the scientist Jo'Bril, who is killed while doing the metaphasic shield test. His brief time on screen is wonderfully acted, with a great sense of presence to infuse the character with real menace. Trapped beneath quite a bit of make-up and prosthetics, Horan uses his deep voice and emotive eyes to bring personality to the alien.

In the end, "Suspicions" is a pretty tight hour of television wherein the viewer is treated to a science fiction murder mystery that has a great deal of character growth in it. As well, the episode is very accessible to those who are not traditionally fans of Star Trek The Next Generation as everything the viewer needs is right in the episode. It's a decent work and one that is entertaining as well as intriguing.

[Knowing that VHS is essentially a dead medium, it's worth looking into Star Trek: The Next Generation - The Complete Sixth Season on DVD, which is also a better economical choice than buying the VHS. Read my review of the penultimate season by clicking here!
Thanks!]

6.5/10

For other Star Trek episode, movie and DVD set reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011, 2007 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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Poor Balance And A Better Sculpt Make The First Momaw Nadon Worth Passing On!

The Good: Cool alien, Decent (if inaccurate) accessory
The Bad: Poor balance, Poor poseability, A better version exists
The Basics: Momaw Nadon was a cool figure at the time, but recent advances and resculpts make this one completely obsolete.


There is something troublesome about the marketing of Star Wars figures from Kenner, which was later bought out by Hasbro; when the figure line was rebooted in 1995 in advance of the Star Wars: Special Edition films, the figures appeared on orange cards with limited accessories and sculpts that seemed impressive at the time. Many of them found their way into the second batch of Star Wars figures on green cards; these were the exact same figures, only with new packaging. In recent years, Hasbro has not simply repackaged some of the old figures, but completely reworked them with new sculpts, more flexibility, the works! These newer sculpts tend to have more realistic accessories, better coloring for the figures and increased poseability. Unfortunately, Hasbro does not have any form of convenient "trade-in" policy for those of us who supported the 1995-97 figure push that launched the renewed interest in the franchise. As a result, some of us are stuck with multiple copies of alien action figures from the Star Wars line like Momaw Nadon.

For those unfamiliar with Momaw Nadon, this creature is one of the many aliens seen in the Mos Eisley Cantina in A New Hope (reviewed here!). This creature was originally called "Hammerhead" in Kenner's old toy line. The part is one of many background aliens and this one had nothing remotely close to a speaking role. In fact, this character never even had a shot where he was in full frame.

Still, the 4" Momaw Nadon figure is pretty cool and it fleshes out the full Star Wars universe well, though there is a later recast that does the figure better.

Basics

Momaw Nadon is an alien seen in the Cantina in Star Wars (Episode IV: A New Hope). The figure stands 4" tall to the top of its shark-like head. Momaw Nadon is a robed creature that looks like it has a hammerhead shark head atop a curved up neck. The figure is made of hard plastic, save the arms and outer monk's cowl.

This toy is a decent sculpt, looking precisely like the extraterrestrial. It would be a much higher rating had better sculpts with more detailed coloring since been released. Momaw Nadon is fairly bland in his coloring detail, especially in that the skin tones are fairly monolithic and he lacks finer surface details. In fact, the leg and arm shading is more realistic coloring than the head or robes, which is ironic because the head and robes were pretty much all that were seen in the actual film. The alien's robes are simple soft plastic (not soft enough when it comes to possibility) and are made in three colors of plastic which are hardly detailed realistically. At least they are not bright blue like the original figure in the late-70's was!

Accessories

Momaw Nadon, alien that he is in the Cantina, requires few accessories. In fact, all he comes with is a giant two-barreled laser cannon. In the movie, he was seen with a drinking glass! This, obviously, is a bit more playable. Kenner didn't want alcoholic aliens, just gun nuts! The gun, however is pretty wicked looking and it fits into the alien's right hand perfectly. The gun is basically an upper and lower barrel, connected by a central grip and the three-inch long barrels end in a butt that fits nicely into Momaw Nadon's elbow crook. He is packing some serious heat, this one! It might not be realistic for the films (the resculpts all had more realistic accessories and play environments), but it looks pretty wonderful.

As part of the Power Of The Force toy line, Momaw Nadon comes with nothing else. The green carded version, though came with variants in packaging where the photograph was covered with a hologram or not.

Playability

The four inch toy line was designed for play and Momaw Nadon is fair in that regard. The figure is poorly articulated and lacks significant articulation to make him interesting with his firearm. In addition to low articulation, Momaw Nadon is not poseable at all. If the feet are moved even slightly out of a flatfooted position, this figure tips over, especially when it is holding its blaster rifle. He comes with only six points of articulation, though much of it is inhibited or guts its poseability. As a result, he has joints at the groin socket, shoulders, neck, and waist. The elbows do not extend and it may only hold the blaster in the right hand.

As well, the legs and arms cannot be spread or raised very far because the figure is so top-heavy, especially with its blaster cannon. This is a very tipable figure.

Collectibility

Momaw Nadon is part of the Power Of The Force four-inch series, a series of Star Wars action figures that was incredibly common. Momaw Nadon was ridiculously overproduced, appearing on at least two different cards as an identical sculpt. In other words, Momaw Nadon is a poor investment and it may often be found dirt cheap. But more than that, because the 30th Anniversary series did a complete resculpt (reviewed here!), it is hard to argue that it is worth picking this figure up even at discount prices.

Overview

Momaw Nadon is a cool looking alien figure, but has been resculpted better since this version, making it obsolete and lacking in value.

For other Star Wars: A New Hope figures in the "Power Of The Force" line, please check out my reviews of:
Ponda Baba
R5-D4
Death Star Gunner
Cantina Aliens 3-pack
Garindan
Death Star Escape 3-pack
Luke Skywalker In Stormtrooper Disguise

5/10

For other toy reviews, please visit my index page on the subject for an organized list of all the figures and toys I have reviewed!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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A Good Idea Gone Very Mediocre, American Favorite Ballads Volume 3 Is The Least Impressive.

The Good: Good folk music, Great vocals, Decent (enough) instrumental accompaniment, Duration, Concept
The Bad: Least recognizable mix
The Basics: A great concept with an excellent execution, American Favorite Ballads, Volume 3 has unfortunately obscure song choices, which make it a tougher sell.


American Favorite Ballads Volume 3 came in the day before I was leaving for my annual cross-country trip and was due back two days before I would return. Unwilling to jeopardize my status at my local library with even two days worth of overdue fines, I had my librarian send it back. It has taken until now for me to get it back in and, frankly, I am at a loss as to why.

The Smithsonian Folkway Recordings began the American Favorite Ballads project with a smart, clear intent: to catalog and preserve the best folk music ballads for posterity. They hired Pete Seeger to perform them and each volume in the collection included songs that either were or once were well known in order to make sure they were not lost for all time. Seeger performed each track in as close to a “pure” form as possible with the intent being to preserve the most universal version of each song. As such American Favorite Ballads, Volume 3 does not have live versions of songs or any improvisations. Instead, it is a very direct presentation of each song.

And apparently, it is none too soon. On every other American Favorite Ballads album, I recognized many (or most) of the songs. On this volume, the only song that I instantly recognized was “She’ll Be Comin’ Round The Mountain,” which is unlikely to ever fall out of the American songbook given how many children’s albums it is on. There were one or two other songs I realized I recognized, based upon my studies of the music of Pete Seeger (like “Ground Hog”) and Peter, Paul, And Mary, but the short of it is that American Favorite Ballads, Volume 3 does not have the same universal or timeless quality to it that most of the other volumes have. Instead, this volume is pretty much the desperate catch of historic folk music that was (arguably) a generation away from being lost (I feel it is fair to write that as I was raised on folk music and had not heard most of these songs).

With twenty-seven songs and over an hour of music, American Favorite Ballads, Volume 3 is an appropriately dense collection of songs, mostly about the American experience, as told in folk music. Not exactly the work of Pete Seeger, this album is comprised mostly of songs whose original writers have been lost to time (they are credited as “Traditional”) or whose writing remains, but whose vocals performances were lost. This is largely cover songs then, but Pete Seeger gets credit for being the primary vocalist on all twenty-seven tracks and he plays guitar on all of the songs as well. While Seeger is not credited with production on any of these songs, it is tough to argue that this is not the album he intended to make, as he was essentially commissioned to do these (and the others) by the Smithsonian.

For those unfamiliar with folk music, American Favorite Ballads, Volume 3 actually does an excellent job of exploring what the genre is all about. Outside a few songs which are blues like wailing (“Boll Weevil”) or closer to bluegrass (the origins of both genres are remarkably similar) (“St. Louis Blues”), most of the songs are musical storysongs. In these songs, there are characters, things happen and there is some sense of resolution, like “When I first came to this land, I was not a wealthy man, / So I got myself a farm, I did what I could / And I called my farm, 'Muscle in my arm' / And I called my shack, 'Break my back' / But the land was sweet and good, I did what I could“ (“When I First Came To This Land”). The bulk of the songs on American Favorite Ballads, Vol. 3 are such storysongs and they tend to explore American places (“Swanee River”) or events, like the sinking of the Titanic (which, to be fair, was a world event, but American folk singers sure got into singing about it!).

As well, songs on American Favorite Ballads, Vol. 3 explore the changing social life in the United States. While some of the songs are longing ballads that express the loneliness that comes from moving across the wide country (“When I First Came To This Land,” “Arkansas Traveler”), there are also songs about social mores and problems. Folk singers tended to be pretty liberal (or at least honest) about the state of the United States and the writing on some of these songs is frank and expresses a reality that many find uncomfortable. One has to wonder why the Smithsonian Folkway Recordings would want to immortalize “I'm a decent boy just landed / From the town of Ballyfad; / I want a situation, yes, / And want it very bad. / I have seen employment advertised, / 'It's just the thing,' says I, / 'But the dirty spalpeen ended with / "No Irish Need Apply."'“ (“No Irish Need Apply”), but the concept of preserving even the unpleasant realities that future generations might learn from them is remarkably smart.

American Favorite Ballads, Volume 3 also has a few songs about more universal human emotions. Take, for example, “Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child.” That folk song clearly illustrates a sense of feeling unfulfilled when Pete Seeger sings “Sometimes I feel like a motherless child / A long ways from home / A long ways from home / True believer / A long ways from home“ (“Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child”).

While Pete Seeger might not have much in the way of creative control on this album, he sings masterfully and it is clear that he was an ideal choice for a project like this. Seeger has an amazing tenor voice that is able to hold the few long notes required on the songs on this album and to articulate the lyrics perfectly while still being musical. Seeger has amazing pitch and a clarity to his vocals that make every single word easily understood.

And Seeger plays his guitar, which accompanies every song on the album. Because this album is classic folk music, the intent is to make music that is easily shared. As such, the tunes on this album are very simple and they act more as simple accompaniment to the lyrics than in any way dominate the vocals. Seeger may have simple songs to play, but he plays them without any sense of being bored with it or anything less than complete competence.

Still, after eight listens to this album, I find myself only mildly impressed. The concept is better than the execution and while this is worth hearing, it is the least inspired collection of folk songs in this series of recordings. Then again, perhaps as more people hear them, they will come back into the collective conscious and this will have served its purpose.

The best song is “Sometimes I Feel Like A Motherless Child,” the low point is “El-A-Noy.”

For other Pete Seeger albums, please check out my reviews of:
American Industrial Ballads
We Shall Overcome: The Complete Carnegie Hall Concert June 8, 1963
God Bless The Grass
Stories & Songs For Little Children
Waist Deep In The Big Muddy And Other Love Songs
The Best Of Pete Seeger (Vanguard)
Pete
If I Had A Hammer: Songs Of Hope And Struggle
Folk Songs For Young People
Greatest Hits (Brazilian Import)
A Link In The Chain
American Favorite Ballads, Volume 1
American Favorite Ballads, Volume 2
American Favorite Ballads, Volume 4
American Favorite Ballads, Volume 5
Birds, Beasts, Bugs And Fishes (Little And Big)
Seeger & Hester
Headlines & Footnotes
At 89

5/10

For other music reviews, please visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011, 2009 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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Organic Green Tea: Pretty Much The Same As Other Green Teas, But Responsibly Made!

The Good: Caffeinated, Good ingredient, Environmentally responsible production (organic)
The Bad: Doesn't taste like much of anything..., Dry aftertaste
The Basics: Despite being the likely product of two current dietary fads, Celestial Seasonings makes a decent, basic green tea with Organic Green Tea!


I'm not one for dietary fads. During the whole "low carbs" thing (is that even still going on?!) I was happily gorging on pizza and donuts (a dangerous thing for a reviewer of movies and music, as opposed to, say, fitness equipment!). And did I blow up to mid-'80's Garth Brooks proportions? No, not at all! Why? Because for the history of humanity, people have been eating carbohydrates and they haven't always been blimps. No, diet is all about proportion, moderation and balancing intake with exercise.

Or just eat whatever you want and drink so much water that your body washes it all out. Sure, it makes things a little harder when it comes to blood clotting, but just don't play with a nail gun! I bring all of this up (hopefully in humorous relief) as I begin a review of Celestial Seasonings' Organic Green tea because I openly acknowledge that the reason this tea is so popular and readily available right now probably has more to do with organic food and green teas being popular than Celestial Seasonings trying to make a quality product. After all, they have plenty of other green teas, making a basic green tea in organic form is their attempt to capitalize on the fad. Me writing about it, that's just an attempt to help consumers out!

Basics

Organic Green Tea is a tea from Celestial Seasonings. It is a 100% natural green tea that is caffeinated and made solely of green tea leaves. This means that instead of letting the leaves dry or harvesting them after their prime, the leaves are plucked at the peak of growth. Organic Green Tea comes in Celestial Seasoning's standard stringless tea bags, which are paired together with easy to separate perforations that allow one to separate the tea bags. When I make pots of tea, I tend to use two bags and leave them connected. A box of Organic Green Tea comes with ten pairs (20 individual) of tea bags.

Organic Green Tea is marketed as a tea-flavored tea and it is adequate in that regard. If one wants something that is flavored like tea leaves - and understated ones at that - this will fit the bill. It does not do much more than that and in fact, it is almost indistinguishable from Celestial Seasonings' Authentic Green Tea (reviewed here!). This is either a testament to the quality of organically grown tea leaves (for blending so perfectly with non-organically grown flavors) or exposes the whole "organic" growing method as a bunch of hogwash on the taste front. The two teas are virtually identical in terms of taste, coloring and scent so as to be more or less indistinguishable (nine out of ten people I did a little taste test agreed with that and the one dissenting vote incorrectly guessed which was the Organic Green Tea as opposed to the Authentic Green Tea.

Ease Of Preparation

Organic Green Tea is a green tea, which means preparation is as easy as almost boiling a pot of water! Green teas, as the directions clearly state, require water that is not quite boiling. Boiling water cooks the tea leaves and ruins the flavor, so water used for green teas like this one must be kept below a full boil. A single tea bag will make the standard 8 oz. coffee mug worth of tea, though reusing the tea bags yields little more than hot water. These tea bags cannot be reused and even credibly call the result "tea." Indeed, the second pots I've tried were incredibly weak, tasting only like the remnants of green tea. These bags are one-use only. I tend to make my tea using a 32 oz. steeping tea pot and that works well, though it is impossible to get a decent second pot out of the bags.

To prepare Organic Green Tea, simply heat up some water, and pour it over the tea bags in a cup, mug or steeping pot. This tea is recommended to take three to five minutes to steep and after a couple cups and pots, I've found that with almost boiling water, the tea is ready at the five minute mark and letting it steep longer does not truly change the results. Letting the tea steep more than six minutes does not net any additional flavor, nor does it denature the flavor of the tea.

Taste

Organic Green Tea might well be one of the teas that is best to talk about in terms of coffee. If one makes a pot of coffee and reuses the grounds, one ends up with a remarkably diluted second pot of coffee that tastes only like the aftertaste of the original beans' flavor. Green tea is like that for tea, but that is how it starts out. If one were to take a standard black tea, brew a pot or even two with the leaves and then brew another pot, you would have a tea that is about as intense and dark and flavorful as green tea.

The only taste note of note is the aftertaste. Green teas are notorious for a dry aftertaste. Organic Green Tea is no exception in this regard; the tea leaves the mouth feeling and tasting dry. It is not distinct or carrying any other flavor, it is simply the essence and taste of dry. It is a pretty worthless drink that leaves the consumer feeling thirsty after drinking it.

With sugar, Organic Green Tea becomes sweet without enhancing any sense of its flavor. Sugar cuts the aftertaste, but does not make it anything other than blandly sweet and sugary. Milk, even, overwhelms the tea flavor of the Organic Green Tea. It's sadly bland when a tea will be overwhelmed by the flavor of milk, rather than having any other flavor within the tea brought out by the addition of that.

Iced, Organic Green Tea is an equally unremarkable tea. The green tea flavor dominates and when sugar is added to the tea cold, it only accents the green tea nature more. It is good, but cold, it still does not evoke any real flavor other than the memory of tea.


Nutrition

It is utterly unsurprising that the green tea flavor dominates Organic Green Tea as the only ingredient is Green Tea (organically grown green tea!). Organic Green Tea tea is all natural, gluten free, and does contain caffeine. According to the new caffeine meter, this tea is a 40, which is a little higher than a candy bar (25), a little lower than an average soda (45). This is not an ideal tea to try to use to stay awake with!

Were it not for the sugar I add whenever I make pots of Organic Green Tea, this tea would be devoid of any nutritional value. It contains no calories, fat, sodium, carbohydrates or protein.

Storage/Clean-up

Organic Green Tea is a green tea, so it comes out much lighter than other teas. As a result, cleanup is rather simple. The mugs and steeping pot easily rinse out. One supposes this tea will stain if it is left on fabrics, so simply do not let the tea cups or mugs linger on light colored materials that might stain!

Organic Green Tea is easy to clean up after - the tea bags may be disposed in the garbage, or composted if you have a good garden and/or compost pile. One of the nice things about this tea - like most - is that so long as it is kept cool and dry, it can last for a long time and it is easy to clean up.

Overall

For those who like green tea, it's hard to go wrong with the Organic Green Tea. It might not be the most flavorful, but it is good and it tastes like green tea ought to. And hey, when the fad is over (either the Organic or green tea fad), odds are it will be clearanced at a price that makes it worth stocking up on!

For other Celestial Seasonings tea reviews, please visit my reviews of:
Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride
Decaf Green Tea
Honey Lemon Ginseng

5/10

For other food or drink reviews, please be sure to visit my index page on the subject by clicking here!

© 2011, 2008 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.

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Another Non-Invincible Superhero! Hellboy

The Good: Dark, Well-Acted, Interesting premise
The Bad: Some special effects, Predictable plot
The Basics: When the tortured soul Hellboy needs to save the world, he has to become a team player to thwart monster after monster after monster.


My dad has a philosophy; invincible superheroes are boring. He grew up on X-Men and other Marvel characters and instilled in me an appreciation for heroes who are flawed, yet powerful. After all, what is the fun of a hero that is all-powerful? Of course they'll win. But when you've got a hero who has a weakness and still manages to overcome, that's something. I have to remember to introduce my dad to Angel. As it stands, I think he'd like Hellboy.

Back in World War Two, the Nazis attempted to use paranormal forces to win the war (that's the premise of the movie and not necessarily one of my beliefs!). To that end, they opened a portal which allowed through a small, devilish creature that was subdued by the Allied through the use of candy bars (I kid you not). Now, in our times, that creature has become known as the Hellboy and he is a part of the United States' secret Paranormal Defense team which is protecting us against all sorts of baddies. Hellboy has lain low for a while when someone threatens him and his team, ultimately revealing that the most dangerous element may be Hellboy himself.

Hellboy is, at the end of the day, your pretty standard superhero tale. We get the character's backstory, we meet the character, we see what he's up against - in this case an army of demon dogs that have laid eggs in the sewers - and he goes off to try to thwart them. In the process, he loses the aid of his sidekick - in this case, a cool telepathic amphibian named Abe Sapien -, is forced to go it alone, realizes he can't, enlists the aid of another, and finds that the villain he though he was fighting is just the tip of the iceberg.

The fundamental problem with Hellboy is that it starts with too many villains. Hellboy is brought into the world by Rasputin, his unaging Nazi lover and a mechanical blade-wielding assassin. They are thwarted in the first ten minutes of the movie and we move on to the dog-demon thing and that's cool. It's a fine adversary and the movie works pretty well while Hellboy, Abe, and some other government agents, attempt to kill off it and its spawn. But then the trio of evil resurfaces and we, the viewers, are left wondering when the movie will end. And so, as Hellboy moves toward destroying the trio of goons, in the process learning the meaning of his overlarge rock hand, we begin to feel some catharsis. But, just when the viewer believes that the end has come and Hellboy has thwarted the last of the evil ones, something even bigger enters the picture. I mean bigger, obscenely big. And it's just too hard to care by that point.

Hmm . . . maybe I didn't like it as much as I thought when I sat down to write this review.

The truth is, it's the last creature and the special effect of the gargantuan beast that costs the movie a lot of points. While Rasputin describes the hell that he can use Hellboy to create on Earth, we catch a glimpse of some of the creatures flying through the sky and they are awesome. It's an impressive visual. When Rasputin uses Hellboy to try to open the portal to let some of the big baddies in, that is also a sufficiently cool effect. But what comes next with Rasputin - the genesis of the final evil - is big and ridiculous and not at all impressive.

The truth is, outside the ending effects, the special effects are pretty decent. The effects around Abe Sapien and the dog creatures are wonderful, making them feel like a part of the world, as opposed to comic book aliens. So, the real drawbacks are the plot predictabilities and the pacing and the final special effects battle. It feels like a battle of special effects creations as opposed to characters or forces.

But outside that last battle, the emphasis of the movie does try to be on the characters. And it's a worthwhile venture into superhero universe. Hellboy is tortured by love for a woman, Liz Sherman, and while it seems like something we've heard before, Hellboy does it differently. Unlike something rather safe like Superman - where we never truly see a villain exploit Superman's love of Lois Lane - Rasputin uses his knowledge of Hellboy's love of Liz Sherman to manipulate him, putting him in the position of saving the woman he loves or the world. Moreover, Hellboy is not invincible. Neither is the more powerful Abe Sapien. It's a nice twist; the more intellectually powerful and all-around useful Sapien is exceptionally fragile. Similarly, Liz has the ability to burn well, pretty much the world, but is an emotional wreck. These characters are less monolithic than your comic book standards and that is refreshing to watch.

Add to the depth of character the general quality of the acting. Selma Blair makes Liz empathetic, more than either a damsel in distress or a superpowerful being. Blair has an uncertain quality to her eyes that makes her character seem legitimately unstable. Using David Hyde Pierce to voice Abe Sapien similarly makes that character resonate with intellectual authenticity.

Moreover, Jeffrey Tambor steals just about every scene he is in. Tambor plays the uptight Dr. Tom Manning, a government liaison who has some authority over the Department. Tambor is excellent at modulating between hyperbole comic relief and pragmatism, making Manning a character who is equally interesting to watch as Hellboy.

As for Hellboy, they say this was Ron Perlman's first chance to open a movie on his own and I assume those people are referring to "for an American audience," as he had quite a bit of success in other countries and movies (like The City of Lost Children) long before this. Perlman goes beyond adequate for the part, using his voice and eyes to overcome what could be seen as overbearing make-up. At no point in the movie did I find myself thinking "Ron Perlman . . ." it was always "Hellboy." I can think of no better praise for an actor.

In the end, it is pretty much a razor decision. I'd watch it again if I was bored and wanted a superhero movie. Heck, I'd watch it voluntarily before I ever watched a full episode of Smallville. If you like dark and different, Hellboy will eat up two of your hours, even if sometimes it might feel longer.

For other films based upon comic book characters, please check out my reviews of:
Watchmen
Captain America
Catwoman

6/10

For other movie reviews, please be sure to visit my index page by clicking here!

© 2011, 2004 W.L. Swarts. May not be reprinted without permission.
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